I’m writing this letter to reflect back on the life of my legendary and never forgotten friend Cameron W. Chapelone aka “Chappy”. There are so many epic memories that I could talk about but the point of this letter is to send a message to the kids today that might be struggling or headed down the same path Chappy and I were once on.
First, I want to paint a little picture of the life he had when he was actively using drugs and alcohol as a means of fun but eventually survival. Cameron was always the popular kid. He had more girls, more talent and more resilience than any of my friends. He almost seemed unstoppable but obviously that wasn’t the case. Cameron started smoking pot and drinking alcohol for his own personal reasons. I’m positive that he never thought that the decision to start smoking and drinking would eventually be the underlining cause of his death.
As the years went by, the disease of alcoholism slowly started to take over Cameron. Eventually the weed and the beers were just the secondary “sources” by which he would escape his own head. His addiction progressed and other drugs started to enter the picture. Soon enough Chappy was hooked on Oxy-Cotton, Xanax, Ecstasy and several other mind-altering substances. Keep in mind that the nature of his addiction was so deep that the pills and non-stop “lets get loaded” attitude was the only life he knew. By this time he regarded his own usage as completely normal. Cameron had forgotten how to live sober as so many of us do when he let drugs and alcohol enter our lives.
During the years that Cameron got deeper and deeper into his addiction, I wasn’t to far behind. Chappy and I would hangout everyday and talk about everything. I remember us having several conversations about how we both knew we had crossed the line and that we needed to get and be completely sober in order to live a happy, successful life. These conversations usually happened when we were high because the only way we would even be able to picture a different life is if we got our “fix”. By this time our “fix” wouldn’t get us high. It would only make us feel normal for as long as the dope was in our system.
One day during October in 2007, I was 19yrs old, sitting behind bars in Jail near the San Diego/ Mexico Border. My life had just hit a new rock bottom. On that specific day in October I was walking around the yard in jail, I decided to call my mom. As soon as she answered the phone I new something bad had happened. I asked my mom, what happened? She told me that Cameron had died from an overdose. I nearly dropped the phone and hit the floor. Holding back my emotions cause I didn’t want to seem weak in front of a bunch of inmates. I couldn’t stop crying inside. My best friend, partner in crime, and most importantly someone that I had always looked up to had died. He was and is never coming back.
The drugs and the life style took Cameron away from his family and his friends in a blink of an eye. No one ever thinks that there’re going to be the one who gets addicted and hooked to drugs or alcohol. But the sad reality is that most people eventually have some sort of dependency issues. People die everyday from this disease and the horrible part about it is that the person who dies is usually the one that doesn’t deserve it. Cameron didn’t deserve to die and neither do you.
Happiness is the key to life and although drugs and alcohol make you happy, it’s a short-term happiness for a long-term demoralizing pain. Using or drinking to make you happy isn’t authentic and it surely always goes away. The true happiness is stimulated through good friendships, fun hobbies, sports, games, and lastly doing ANYTHING else other than getting loaded. Life is too short to get wasted and numb yourself. Face life with a strong determination to live free. Free from what others think and free from the decisions that could kill you in just one breath.
Cameron’s life has affected me everyday since his passing. He will always be in the forefront of my brain as I trudge this road of sobriety. Today, I’m over 3 years sober and think about Cameron almost on a daily basis. I truly believe that Cameron has helped me get sober and better yet, stay sober! Without him I really don’t think I could be where I’m at today.
Sometimes I ask myself the question; Why me? Why was I able to get sober and Cameron wasn’t able too? I answer that question knowing that Cameron is somewhere else watching over me and helping me with my everyday decisions. But looking back on everything in hindsight I wish I could have my best friend back. He’s part of me and helped shaped me as the person. No words can truly describe the emotional roller coaster I had when Cameron died. But his death has helped me more than anything else in my life. I am truly blessed to have had such a great friend in my life. If only he was still here, I can just imagine the happiness and the joy he would bring his family and friends.
Life’s full of decisions. Save yourself from the pain-staking path of addiction and chose a better way of life. Live free and feel good about making the right choices. Just remember, life’s too short to sell yourself to Drugs and Alcohol.
