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Reblogs of interests. Watch as my obsessions slowly kill me.

[support-ponies]

Can I have a Pinkie Pie and/or Cheese Sandwich saying "Pan rights"? I just wanna feel valid-

Gosh we are just so valid ✨💖💛💙✨

Help Support the Blog :)

[camera-layla626-duds]

they are so pan4pan

[artingstarvist]

TGCF Vol 3, Chp. 43 - 44 (First "Kiss") Part 2 / 5 (First, Next)

Next part is finally done! Xie Lian's inner monologue kills me.

Novel excerpt under the cut:

[denotes panel #]

[1, 2] Xie Lian blinked, trying desperately to bat away the thousands upon millions of lingering crystalline bubbles. [3] Then he found himself caught by a pair of strong arms. [4, 5] One hand circled his waist, and the other grasped his chin. [6] In the next second, something cold and soft covered his lips. [7]In that instant, Xie Lian's eyes bulged. Never in his life had anyone treated him like this. First, no one dared, second, no one could. However this person was swift like the devil and had appeared so suddenly that he had no chance to defend himself before he'd been plunged into such a state. [8, 9] Flustered, he thrashed and desperately tried to push the person away. [10] Instead, he only succeeded in choking on large mouthfuls of water as string after string of bubbles escaped his mouth like crystal beads. Of course, this was a big mistake underwater. [11] The hands round his waist only tightened, pressing their bodies closer together, and Xie Lian's struggling hands were firmly folded and crushed against his own chest, trapping them in place. [12] His lips, too, were securely sealed. The kiss deepened, and with it, a breath of cool, gentle air was transferred into his mouth. [13, 14, 15] Completely helpless and at a loss, just as Xie Lian began to accept his fate, he finally saw the person's face clearly. [16] It was Hua Cheng. [17] The moment he realized it was Hua Cheng, he stopped struggling. Innumerable random thoughts popped into his mind, all inappropriate for the time and place, such as : So it was Hua Cheng! No wonder he's cold. [18] Ghosts don't need to breathe, but he can still transfer air to me?! [19] Don't ghosts sink in the water? [20] Hua Cheng suddenly opened his eye. [21, 22] Staring into that dark eye from such an intimate distance, Xie Lian froze again, then resumed struggling, his arms flailing like a duck so clumsy it was drowning. [23, 24] Hua Cheng easily corralled those thrashing limbs, and with his arm still firmly locked around Xie Lian's waist, Hua Cheng took him and speedily swam upward.

[mxtxfanatic]

Thank you for your thoughts on Xie Lian and low self -esteem/self -harm tendencies. My question kinda piggybacks of that.

In the novel, Hua Cheng has concerns about Xie Lian's pain and willingness to withstand it or ignore it in favor of getting a solution. 

Land of Tender was pretty extreme and I think Xie Lian genuinely considered not having any other option before doing what he did. 

But there's the time when Xie Lian planned to jump in the pit to help those thrown in and brushed aside his own potential injury from such a fall. (But was naturally worried when Hua Cheng jumped instead)

And also the time Xie Lian took a blow from eming to stop the fight between Hua Cheng and Lan Qingqui(sp?).  

And withstanding the needle in his foot and forgetting about it until Hua Cheng took it out. 

Or being willing to swallow a sword to capture the fetus spirit.

Or in the Mt. Tonglu arc, where he picks up something that has poison on it. He's had it happen so often, it didn't bother him. 

I can see this is not Xie Lian self-harminhg,  but it does seem like a low amount of concern for his pain/safety.  

He even makes a promise to Hua Cheng (they promise each other) not to touch anything weird/dangerous without telling the other first so the other can handle it. 

And when Hua Cheng took a hit from Xie Lian (who had to obey because he was wearing the brocade immortal) - Xie Lian took issue with that and Hua Cheng called him out on that. 

----

"Xie Lian hadn’t expected him to ask that. “Maybe…it was to remind myself of some things.” He then quickly said, “San Lang, don’t…don’t change the subject. What kind of bad habits have you developed? That situation just now—you could have just restrained me. Why did you stand there and take the blow?” 

“So you do know that it’s a bad habit, gege?” Hua Cheng replied. “You have no right to lecture me when it comes to taking beatings, you know.” 

“Oh, really?” Xie Lian said, but he felt guilty the moment the words left his mouth—after all, he’d almost swallowed a sword back when he fought the fetus spirit in the water, and Hua Cheng had caught him red-handed. 

“Yes, really. ‘Why use other methods if I can solve the problem by taking a beating?’ That’s your bad influence on me,” Hua Cheng replied. 

Xie Lian waved him off. “Never mind, San Lang, let’s not talk about this anymore. Let’s look at these robes.” "

TGCF volume 7, chapter 117, page 200

-------

From all this, would it be accurate to say Xie Lian has low regard for his pain/safety if it means finding a solution to a problem...and potentially even going for that route faster/ or finding that easier before thoroughly considering other options? 

Or is perhaps Hua Cheng being too overprotective? 

Or is it secret option number three? 😅

I leaned towards the first thought. It seemed that Xie Lian maybe stopped concerning himself about his own pain until he realized someone else cared about him very much and so he decided to be more careful. 

Again, not saying Xie Lian is reckless. Or that he wouldn't tend to his own injuries. Just that perhaps he was setring aside his own pain/potential injury in favor of getting a quick solution. 

I hope I explained that well. Thank you for your thoughts! 👍🏾

Idk how long this is gonna be, so I will start off by saying that Xie Lian's actions exist in line with two realities: 1) he has built up an extremely high pain tolerance from just living life for 800 years and experiencing The Horrors against his will. I do not think that having a high pain tolerance and therefore being alright with experiencing injury because the pain means nothing to you is the same as having a low regard for your pain or safety at all. Xie Lian does not seek out situations to harm him, and he doesn't disregard his safety in situations he puts himself in (emphasizing the "he" because there are a lot of situations he is forced into, where him experiencing The Horrors is the point and thus unavoidable). 2) He literally cannot die (also as part of experiencing The Horrors, but he's learned to weaponize it to his advantage). So let's get into these examples:

Land of the Tender: he was drugged and vulnerable with the only thing between him and potential death was a barrier and a child. He quite literally had no options that weren't "assault/kill Hong'er" or "lose your cultivation and get you and Hong'er killed." He stabs himself to relieve the poison and maintain a semblance of mental clarity because the only other cure to the drug outside of sexual intercourse was physical violence. The moment Mu Qing and Feng Xin show up to help, he stops stabbing himself.

Banyue Arc: He is the god who was sent to clean up the mess, he was going to have to go down there eventually anyways. There is no "injury from the fall" (unless due to his own bad luck, but it doesn't happen in when he actually goes down, so...) because he is a god who jumps up and down these heights all the time. This the same dude who has to jump down from the heavens to do work. Why should he have allowed San-lang or, god forbid, an actual human to go down there first in his stead when 1) he knows he can handle the task but has no evidence that they can and 2) he knows that even if he can't somehow handle it, there's still Mu Qing and Feng Xin and he, himself, cannot die?

Fight between Hua Cheng and Lang Qianqiu: Xie Lian had tried to stealth and de-escelate, but Lang Qianqiu was the one who charged forward in reckless anger. Xie Lian, seeing that Hua Cheng's blow would kill him if it connected, absorbed the blow, instead, because he knew he could, only injuring an arm. Was Xie Lian supposed to let his former student die in front of him just because to save his life would injure him in a way that he would heal from fairly quickly?

The needle and the fetus spirit: I analyze the needle scene here (and will return to this analysis at the end), actually, but as for him doing whatever it took to capture the fetus spirit, once again, this was a matter of life or death, and Xie Lian had a choice between temporary pain or sacrificing someone else's life so that he wouldn't be injured. What kind of cultivator would he be, exactly, to let civilians die for his comfort? A cultivator who was asked to save lives, mind you. He could have chosen to avoid the needle and let the fetus spirit escape to kill again, but he didn't.

Now, I'll give you another example of Xie Lian choosing "pain": during the Birthday extra, Xie Lian is experiencing pain so badly that it makes him blackout. He hides it because celebrating Hua Cheng's birthday with him for the first time is more important. After it's discovered, Mu Qing and Feng Xin realize that the pain seems to be worse around Hua Cheng and theorize that putting some distance between the two would give Xie Lian reprieve enough to figure out what's going on. Hua Cheng leaves immediately, no questions asked, because his priority is Xie Lian's wellbeing. Xie Lian, on the other hand, panics, because while physical pain is something Hua Cheng cannot tolerate him experiencing even if Xie Lian can handle it, the emotional pain Xie Lian derives from feeling abandoned is something he cannot handle. He immediately sends himself back to his husband's side. While Xie Lian can tolerate pain, he only tolerates what he wants to and never seeks out pain for himself.

As for Hua Cheng, a loved one being upset at your experiencing of pain for whatever reason is not evidence of self-harming tendencies or a lack of self-care on your part. The thing about Hua Cheng's responses to Xie Lian allowing himself to be injured/pushing into danger is that Hua Cheng knows Xie Lian's history. He was there for the land of tender and saw Xie Lian mutilate himself to keep him safe. He was there in the temple when Xie Lian was mutilated against his will for the sake of others. He was there when Xie Lian was utterly abandoned by everyone he knew and loved and acting out in self-destructive ways. All of Xie Lian's worst moments, he's experienced, and his whole goal of amassing power was to be able to protect his beloved. Even when he wasn't there, he was collecting information and stories on his whereabouts and experiences. But Xie Lian doesn't know this when they first meet.

Xie Lian has spent 800 years as a lone wanderer with no long-term companions and no one who even knew of his existence. He could only rely on himself from his early 20s on. Not even his friends were dependable, and that is the mentality that Xie Lian has at the start of the story. "I cannot ask others to do right because they are unreliable, so I will do it, myself, without asking." Hua Cheng is upset at this mentality not because he believes that there is something wrong about Xie Lian but because he knows that this belief has sprung from the truth that Xie Lian really didn't have someone to depend on, and even though Hua Cheng's 's back again and ready to be that someone, the fact that Xie Lian is still risking himself instinctively without even considering that Hua Cheng can help him means that he has not proven to his beloved that he is dependable and is here to stay.

So for your conjecture, it's not that Hua Cheng is being overprotective, but he wants Xie Lian to see him as the pillar of support that he is and realize that he no longer has to fight anything alone. And it's not that Xie Lian stopped caring about his own hurts until someone else started caring for him, it's that he hasn't had the luxury to care and tend to his own hurts, because no one was gonna do the things that needed to be done while he took a rest. Others may have had him, but he only had himself. Until Hua Cheng, of course.

[nyerus]

Crimson Rain Sought Flower – Hua Cheng

This is a meta that’s been in the works a while now, and yesterday I posted it to Twitter for Hua Cheng’s birthday! It’s June 10th in my timezone now, so here it is reformatted, tweaked, and with a few additions for Tumblr.

This is quite the long thread, so grab some snacks! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

Hua Cheng and Morality

First, we need to understand Hua Cheng’s origin. He is a reject of society. He was cast aside by the world, and thus in return, holds zero esteem for it. He couldn’t care less what happens to the world, apart from the one person left in it who treated him with compassion and humanity. However, Hua Cheng is not ever intentionally cruel. He is not a cruel person, yet he’s also not a particularly nice person. He’s neutral. He has known severe poverty, and has suffered at the hands of hypocrisy and injustice—so he hates these things too.

That is why he’s sincere in his actions (even if they are not always “good”), and a man of his word. That is why he rules Ghost City with an iron fist, yet is fair. He does not abuse his power, and is always clear about terms in an agreement, but is not very forgiving. If you cross him, or try to swindle him, you will be put in your place. Pray to him with less-than-honest goals, and he will ignore you. Or if he’s in the mood, ruin your life to teach you a lesson. Wrong his beloved, and there will be hell to pay—full stop.

Meanwhile, he will protect innocent humans trapped in Tonglu, not only because that’s what his God would have done, but because those people are helpless. Hua Cheng knows helplessness. Especially to use them for his own gain is a hypocrisy he cannot accept for himself. And then, he will build a city for other ghosts (serves also to keep them in line), so that they won’t be taken advantage of like he was as a small ghost fire. He will give shelter to a ghost who got revenge on her rapist, and even for animal spirits who seek their vengeance.

These can be seen as benevolent acts, yet it’s more accurate to say that Hua Cheng’s hatred of bullies and the abuse of those who are vulnerable is the basis for whatever moral code he has. It’s an eye-for-an-eye (sorry) ideology. Rather than kindness or righteousness, it’s about balance.

[CONTINUED UNDER CUT DUE TO LENGTH.]

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[guzhufuren]

Support and uplift chinese queer creators and their fight. There is hope for an even better tomorrow.

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[camera-layla626-duds]

this is so beautifully put together op

[camera-layla626-duds]

Hualian :(

I wish ppl on Tumblr were normal abt hualian but at last, this is juts not the platform for my fav ship I will return when eternal faith comes out

[crabplatinum]

i killed the part that cringes and started watching/drawing the ponies the normalest guy and his wife be upon ye

[thunderpot]

"In his foggy mind, Xie Lian finally realized something: Although every time it was out of his control and he had no choice, in truth, every time, there was a hidden desire he couldn’t hold back."

[mxtxfanatic]

So @fireandgrimstone and I once had a discussion about how mxtx handles Xie Lian’s crossdressing in tgcf, the gist of which was whether or not it was falling into a gender essentialist trope ("you can always tell when a man is pretending to be a woman!") despite how much of the story tackles a kind of gender fluidity amongst other characters. I said I’d return to it once I reread it again to see how I felt reading those bits in context, so here I am!

The first instance of Xie Lian cross-dressing in the story is during the very first mission: the ghost bride. In order to find out who is kidnapping brides in the area, Xie Lian dresses like a bride to act as bait. When he first gets dressed, this is how he is described:

If you asked anyone to come and see, they would be able to tell with a glance that this was a young boy with a gentle and handsome looking face.

—Chapt. 6: The Ghost Holds a Wedding, The Crown Prince Climbs Onto the Marriage Sedan (Part 1)

You can "tell" that he is still a man, even as he wears the wedding outfit, we are told. However, later on, Little Ying comes and helps fix up Xie Lian so that he looks more like a bride. When next the others see his face, this is how he is described:

How could Xie Lian have known that a girl’s skill in make-up created legendary and mystifying results? Little Ying had only taught him how to fix his eyebrows by drawing them elegantly, how to powder his face with some white powder and how to dot his lips with deep, red rouge. However, if he didn’t speak, Xie Lian looked exactly like a gentle, soft and beautiful young lady.

—Chapt. 9: The Mountain’s Locked Ancient Temple, The Forest of Hanging Corpses (Part One)

A little bit of makeup and reshaping his outfit has transformed Xie Lian from someone you could tell was a man "from a glance" to someone who "looked exactly like a gentle, soft, and beautiful young lady." Even the crowd of men acting as "guards" could not tell Xie Lian was a man, and at no stage in this entire arc is Xie Lian uncomfortable with the act of cross-dressing, at being honestly mistake for being a woman, or Mu Qing and Feng Xin's negative reactions. He is indifferent to it all.

The next major moment we see him cross-dressing is when he is running away from the group of cultivators hunting Hua Cheng:

Behind the curtains sat a woman, her long raven hair hung a loose bun, her neck slender and white with a black choker and a thin silver chain circled around. Her robe was half stripped, revealing her snow white shoulder and a small bit of her back, looking to drape and fall, making one’s face burn and heart race.

When the curtains were pulled, the figure of that woman trembled, covering her face with her sleeves, and whimpered softly, as if she was shocked and terrified by such a sudden and brutish act. Heaven’s Eye instantly dropped the curtains, “I-I-I-I-I-I’M SORRY!!!”

The band of monks and cultivators who followed after Heaven’s Eye all screamed too, “WHAT A SIN, WHAT A SIN!” And they all covered their own eyes. Using this chance, that ‘woman’ whipped around -- who else could it be but Xie Lian? Hua Cheng was sitting in his arms and was only blocked from view by Xie Lian’s body. Although Xie Lian was a man and his shoulders were wider than the average woman, but he only pulled down half of his robe to expose the best angle, creating the perfect effect.

—Chapt. 137: Upon Barren Hills; Rioting the Black Hearted Inn (Part One)

Just as with the makeup and reshaping of the bride outfit, wearing a woman's robe, stripping to show off some skin at an angle, and whimpering a little was enough to trick this group of men into thinking he was a woman. The cultivators are so embarrassed, they run away, but even the passerbies who catch a glimpse of Xie Lian fleeing later in that same outfit have the vague idea that it is a "woman" they're seeing running with a child. Then, in the same outfit, Xie Lian enters an inn and we get this hilarious interaction:

A moment later, the door opened, and several attendants came forward to greet, their faces full of smiles, “Good si...”

They had wanted to say ;good sir’, but seeing the person before them was wearing women’s robes, they changed, “Mis...”

Before the word left their lips, Xie Lian emerged fully from the darkness with Hua Cheng in hand. If there’s a child, then it wasn’t an unmarried lady, so they changed again, “Mada...”

‘Madam’ was still half on their lips and Xie Lian’s face was fully illuminated by the light within the inn. Although this person was dressed in women’s robes and had a gentle countenance, if they must be honest, no matter how they looked it was the face of a man. The attendants all became mute, and it was a good moment before they went back to their original greeting, “Good sir, please come inside.”

—Chapt. 137: Upon Barren Hills; Rioting the Black Hearted Inn (Part One)

None of the attendants are able to tell Xie Lian's gender just from a glance. They rely on context clues (his clothes, the fact that he's with a child, then finally, his bare face) to finally decide that he is a man. Xie Lian is not discomforted by this either, not even to correct them. In fact, the narrative says that he feels no mental or physical discomfort as he is. Mind you, in this world, it is established that gods can and do change their physical forms to match a certain gender, but despite having the power to do so, not only does Xie Lian not take this route but he is still able to successfully appear as a cis woman to both strangers and his closest friends with only the minimalist of effort. Neither he nor the narrative place any expectations on how he "should" feel being man mistaken for a woman, nor do they waste time trying to explain to other characters why he is dressed as one like what one would usually see with this trope. Xie Lian simply exists in the form most comfortable to him and changes minor appearances to produce the aesthetic that he needs when he needs it. No more explanation is needed.

The thing about Xie Lian, too, is that while he is assured in his own gender, this does not translate into him being adverse to either weaponizing gender to reach a certain goal (such as being bait in a mission or hiding from enemies or just finding a dangerous object) or others doing as they please. Shi Qingxuan repeatedly attempts to wheedle Xie Lian into transforming into a female form with him, but though Xie Lian refuses for himself, he never shows disgust that Shi Qingxuan prefers his female form, unlike other gods.

Due to all of this, I don't see the repeated mentions of Xie Lian's maleness within these cross-dressing scenes as meant to reinscribe the gender binary but, instead, to impress upon readers how simple it is to throw gender into question. Gender is just that malleable and its perception so easily manipulated that even one of the most manliest men in the story can be viewed without a shadow of a doubt as a woman. Xie Lian is proof.

[demihualian]

This art is reposted with permission.

Artist: lanawaay (Twitter) - if you have Twitter, please go support them on the original post!

[xieliancore]

xie lian 🦋🦋🦋

[palehorsemen]

[meru90]

eternal pain- i mean eternal faith when??

[inhumanescreeching]

got inspired lol

[still-snowing]

smooch!

[lanzhanlanzhan]

Wei Wuxian - On Loving Lan Wangji

(Or 'I was supposed to be writing fanfiction but my character notes got ahead of me and now I have another meta')

One of the most charming things about CQL!Wei Wuxian is this: up to the end, I don't think he has realized that he is in love with Lan Wangji.

I mean, we know. The world around them knows. Heck, I think even Lan Wangji knows, because bless this boy, I think he resolved his own 'I am in love with Wei Wuxian' arc even before the show's half-way point.

Wei Wuxian, though? I don't think so. Funny enough, in CQL-verse, there were already hints of something promising between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji even before Wei Wuxian's death, unlike in the novel where Wei Wuxian was completely in the dark and only developed feelings for Lan Wangji in his second life. CQL-verse though gave them that foundation of them being two people who were drawn to one another from the start, who became friends and even established a bond so close they can consider themselves as soulmates. Again, all these before Wei Wuxian even died.

I would like to once again send my heartfelt gratitude to Xiao Zhan for all those interviews that gave us a glimpse of his headspace as Wei Wuxian. In a few of these interviews, Xiao Zhan mentioned how part of Wei Wuxian's next life involved having to resolve things in the last one, and this actually included his learning to trust Lan Wangji again. 

In his old life, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji had to struggle with a beautiful relationship on the verge of collapse, brought by Wei Wuxian's seeming refusal to let go of his ghost cultivation path, and Lan Wangji's conviction that Wei Wuxian had to return to sword cultivation because any other path would harm him. The tragedy of it all was that they were both in the right—Wei Wuxian required an alternative path to fight for what he believed was right despite having lost his golden core, and Lan Wangji (who did not yet know about Wei Wuxian's core) was also correct in that ghost cultivation was affecting Wei Wuxian's psyche. All these came to a head at Nightless City, with Wei Wuxian, heartbroken over having lost the people he fought so hard for, went against the whole cultivation world. In that state, he also saw that Lan Wangji was still against him, tried to stop him, even though Lan Wangji himself was still conflicted though his heart was still with Wei Wuxian in the end. 

Now, this time it would be Wei Wuxian's character song that makes things interesting. His character song seems to be set while he was in that space between his two lives, looking back at a life that strayed so far away from where his good intentions would have wanted it to go. He recounts his life, but interestingly and heartbreakingly, when we reach the chorus, although the words are actually never the same, the lines are nonetheless about the same single thing:

Chorus 1:

I have tried to take a jar of liquor with a smile

And once fought with the most beautiful person in Gusu

Chorus 2 (here, the lines dedicated to the subject are even longer):

I was once stunned by someone

And teased the cloud patterns with my fingertips

The sudden vibrations of a zither

I wonder why I am remembering these deep in my dream

Chorus 3:

I also once had someone in the mortal world

To love and to long for

The chorus always starts talking about Lan Wangji—and yet, it doesn't really sound like Wei Wuxian fully realizes how much this person means to him. He looks at it from a distance, perhaps because it was a life that was already over and he was regretful about how things had ended. The feelings are bittersweet—and just wow, those lines where Wei Wuxian calls Lan Wangji as "the most beautiful person in Gusu" are just too powerful for my poor, weak heart. Note though that with Wei Wuxian, this could mean either he did think of Lan Wangji as the most beautiful person in Gusu, or he just took it for granted that Lan Wangji was known as the most beautiful person in Gusu. Or it could be a bit of both, with not a lot of overthinking because... ah, Wei Ying, Wei Ying.

Fast forward now to after Wei Wuxian's resurrection. We know he and Lan Wangji were not in a good place because Wei Wuxian hid from him at first. He got anxious when he heard the juniors talking about Hanguang-jun, and actually discouraged them from calling him over. This was the man he once called his soulmate! How bad of a fall-out had theirs been for things to change so drastically. It definitely took some time for Wei Wuxian to feel comfortable around Lan Wangji again. 

Two things, I think, softened Wei Wuxian. First, Lan Wangji's drunken confession in CQL-verse was that he regretted the events leading to Wei Wuxian's death. It made Wei Wuxian realize why Lan Wangji was looking for him in the first place, all this time. He sought to comfort Lan Wangji and explained that he was not to blame. We can see Wei Wuxian was moved by how gently he took care of Lan Wangji that night, drunk as he was. 

Second was Lan Xichen telling Wei Wuxian about the events after his death, what punishments Lan Wangji endured and how he retained his faith and conviction about Wei Wuxian even after all of that. Even the story about their mother was telling; it was a glimpse of how strongly and stubbornly Lan Wangji loves someone, and how deeply that love goes, even if he does not say anything in words. Lan Xichen reminded Wei Wuxian of how adamant and persistent Lan Wangji had been about saving Wei Wuxian in his past life. Wei Wuxian said that it was unnecessary for Lan Wangji to have done these things, to suffer through his loyalty to Wei Wuxian especially when Wei Wuxian was already dead. But somehow it must have proven something to him, too, and gave him a sense of security with Lan Wangji.

After these things, love (or at the very least, trust and attachment) just seemed to develop naturally from there. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are good together especially as "partners-in-crime", so to speak. They are a very effective team, and while this goes to show how naturally compatible they are, the adventures they go through just also strengthen the bond between them. What finally cemented their relationship in this second life, resolving any other doubts Wei Wuxian might have had with Lan Wangji, was that face-off at Lanling, where Lan Wangji had the opportunity to deny Wei Wuxian again in order to retain his respected status in the cultivation world. Lan Wangji refused, announced that he knew it was Wei Wuxian from the start, and told Wei Wuxian that it wasn't so bad, walking in this path of his. 

They were noticeably inseparable from there. What makes my heart sing about this is that this time, Wei Wuxian is more actively sticking to Lan Wangji. He needs no one else other than Lan Wangji, has complete faith in him. Back in Yi City, we saw how confident he was that Lan Wangji would win against Xue Yang, he was not even worried when he took the kids to safety. Then at the Burial Mounds, when he drew the spirit attraction enchantment on himself to drive away the corpses, he refused any other help, saying Lan Wangji was enough to protect him. 

There were many other instances. In Lotus Pier, he was constantly with Lan Wangji, and even presented him to his family. He accepted insults about himself from Jiang Cheng, but not even his guilt towards Jiang Cheng would allow him to let his brother insult Lan Wangji. Even his asking Lan Wangji to take him away from Lotus Pier after the confrontation with Jiang Cheng was telling, because Wei Wuxian used to be self-sufficient and was uncomfortable asking for help. But he was doing so freely with Lan Wangji. 

Even before entering the Guanyin Temple, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji had a conversation about Wen Ning—another staple in Wei Wuxian's life—needing to find a life for himself. Interestingly, the thought that Lan Wangji (who was about as attached to him as Wen Ning was) similarly needed a life free from him did not even occur to Wei Wuxian. He would let Wen Ning go, but Lan Wangji stays.

Then, at the Guanyin Temple, when he found out that everyone seemed to know about his losing his golden core, Wei Wuxian checked with Lan Wangji first, asking, "So do you also know?" By this point, Lan Wangji had become a far first in his mind, far from everyone else. Wei Wuxian looks to him first, and before facing anything else that remained against him, he has to check first that things between him and Lan Wangji were okay.

This is also why the last episode is so heartbreaking. After the events at the temple, Wei Wuxian whisks Lan Wangji away and makes a run for it. Escaping did seem to be his intention, too, because when Wen Ning and Lan Sizhui—the most harmless, loyal people to them both—caught up to them, Wei Wuxian looked disappointed that they were caught.

Of course, he then learned that Lan Sizhui was none other than their beloved A-Yuan, and that was a heart-warming reunion all around. Eventually though, Lan Sizhui and Wen Ning said their goodbyes, and Wei Wuxian turned to Lan Wangji, wondering where they would go. He never thought to even ask Lan Wangji where he would go, never thought it would be anywhere Wei Wuxian wouldn't be, because already he learned to be secure that Lan Wangji would never leave his side. In a way, he took it for granted that Lan Wangji would no longer leave him, but to be fair to Wei Wuxian, after everything that had happened and given his own feelings towards Lan Wangji, it was an easy assumption and mistake to make, to have that sense of security towards someone to whom one's heart was so drawn to.  

Somehow though, I do think their parting might have done Wei Wuxian some good. Again, Wei Wuxian is a dense motherf*cker not the type who digs deeply at his own mind and feelings (heck, the boy falls asleep during meditation, and never forget the 'Do you like Mianmian?' incident), doesn't label things and just rides those feelings out openly and freely. Time apart from Lan Wangji could have given him more space to assess what he was feeling for the guy, what it meant to miss him, how badly he was missing him, and so on. And we know he missed him badly, because who in their right mind would play their theme song atop a mountain, looking like they were about to cry? How afraid he was to look behind him and find that maybe Lan Wangji wasn't really there, that it was all in his head… oh, Wei Ying. 

So, yes. We did not get the "I love you's" (nor "that night, I really wanted to sleep with you!" lmao) in the drama, but this also makes sense because Wei Wuxian probably also did not even know, or did not know what to call it, or whatever the heck they were. But spending those days (perhaps even months or years) away from Lan Wangji were clearly difficult for him, enough for us to know that their reunion would bring Wei Wuxian such relief, he likely would never let Lan Wangji go again. And maybe, just maybe, when they meet again, that's when it all comes to Wei Wuxian, the feelings he isn't able to keep anymore, and he would just burst out, "I miss you! I love you!"

[superborb]

Ramblings on emotional through lines in CQL vs MDZS

tl;dr mixing and matching from CQL and novel canon is fun, but there really are significant differences in the emotional and moral lives of the characters so there is a limit to how much mixing can be done

I’ve been sitting on this post for a while, so I’m just going to kick it out the door. As always, anyone can do whatever they want and headcanon whatever they want.

To me, the biggest difference is the (potentially censorship driven) playing down of WWX’s crimes. Actually, I am still thinking of the Qi Hun director discussing how they had to make changes to the Hikaru no Go characters so they’d seem more realistic in live action form. Even leaving aside any changes explicitly driven by censorship, I think the interiority of WWX’s thoughts in the novel would be difficult to show in live action form.

In any case, in the novel, the story really goes, WWX loses control and kills tons of people through massive hubris; he then finally destroys half the Yin Tiger Tally and dies in the process. WWX really does perform true necromancy and defile dead bodies, which prevents them from moving on and is a huge cultural taboo.

WWX actually does the things he is accused of, even if at a smaller scale than the accusations. IMO, this makes the message against mob mentality stronger when everyone turns against JGY at the end, bc WWX is guilty and everyone forgets this, vs WWX is not actually guilty and is exonerated. (Though, CQL adds the human targets in Phoenix Mountain and WWX tossing the Yin Tiger Tally for people to fight over, both of which do not make anyone come out looking good.)

A major theme in CQL is how LWJ is right to love WWX bc WWX is morally correct, and LWJ recognizing this is how he knows they’re soulmates. Contrast to novel canon, where LWJ is in an irrational, this-above-all love with WWX. This point is where I think mixing the canons becomes kind of strange in fic. You can’t have the irrational love in a mostly CQL fic, bc that’s /not/ the basis for their relationship. Conversely, WWX is /morally wrong/ in novel canon, so a mostly novel based fic has to acknowledge that.

Turning their relationship from text to subtext also means that picking up WWX’s obliviousness to LWJ’s feelings from the novel (where LWJ def acted like he hated him!!) and putting it into CQL makes no sense. In order to have it be subtext, their relationship is much more strongly developed from the beginning. In CQL, they call each other soulmates! They have a solid friendship at the least! They’re pulled apart by outside circumstances, and putting the idea that WWX thinks LWJ hates him into CQL is a bit– ill fitting.

[camera-layla626-duds]

This also to me, stems from people who end up loving either the novel-type relationship or show-type relationship. Some people LOVE slow burn so novel definitely does it best. Kisses but thinking the other person hates you. Enemies (ish) to lovers. Unrequited love. Whereas, CQL has the mutual feeling in pre-resurrection and where post-resurrection almost feels like they're in a relationship already so if you're into established relationship trope, you might prefer that romance adaptation more. Generally, I think it really depends on the kind of romance one consumes to (romantically) prefer one dynamic or the other.