The Charlie Spring Spectacular: belief and mistrust. A meta.
TW for descriptions of sexual assault, B*n H*pe, extreme homophobia, and abused and abusive mental states.
If I look at this any longer I’ll do something evil. Thanks for the screenshots, Netflix. <3
Charlie Spring doesn’t like himself very much.
Unfortunately for his self-deprecating nature, other people like Charlie Spring very much. The list is long: Nick Nelson, Tao Xu, Elle Argent, Isaac Henderson, Victoria “Tori” Spring – and could go on for much longer.
Charlie also tends to be a victim. As the only out gay boy at an all-boys’ school, it comes with the territory, which Charlie has long accepted (but not dealt with). This is something he sees as his problem, and one that others should not become involved with (mostly because Charlie doesn’t see himself as worthy of their effort). Others become involved because they give a shit.
As we are well aware, this is not a Charlie problem. This is an Other People Problem, but Charlie doesn’t know that. When he sees Nick and Tao get into fights, he realizes that there is some connective tissue here (him), and he draws the wrong conclusion based on faulty evidence (his trauma, experiences with abuse, and own lack of self-esteem): that he is the common denominator between two fights is due to his existence, and not the agency and beliefs of other people.
Tao is more accurate in his assessment.
Nick Nelson is aware of this. He has watched Charlie try to make himself tiny, unnecessary, unremarkable, watched him reproach himself for communicating his needs and desires over and over again.
When Charlie reacts on instinct, with confidence – and we really barely see this around anyone but Nick – he’s smooth as hell. He makes a lot of eye contact, his voice is relatively smooth, and his body language is usually very open.
Well, then his trauma response kicks in. And then he sees his actions in hindsight, and Charlie’s hindsight is 0/20, so he reacts forcefully to any action his brain deems unacceptable. These actions usually fall under the category of Charlie a) expressing a desire for something or b) acting with confidence.
Now presenting Nick’s first experience with the Charlie Spring Spectacular, feat. “I shouldn’t have kissed you:”
tangentwithtanner
dailybridgerton
areudirty
theartofmadeline
origamiaround
stormborns
