freddiehirsch​:

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@camillecheslyn
freddiehirsch​:
freddiehirsch​:
I’m okay with that.
Well I’m not.
freddiehirsch​:
I know… Sorry.
You’re just making it harder for yourself.
freddiehirsch​:
Freddie...
freddiehirsch​:
freddiehirsch​:
Don’t do the look.
You don’t listen to me otherwise.
freddiehirsch​:
Good.
freddiehirsch​:
I’d like to see them try to fire me.
I really shouldn’t be so into you for that.
freddiehirsch​:
I don’t want you to lose your job because you’re sat in this chair waiting for me to die.
freddiehirsch​:
Then there’s no one else.
You have to try.
freddiehirsch​:
Do you want me to be happy?
Of course, that’s all I want.
freddiehirsch​:
But that doesn’t mean you have to give up everything, you can still have things for yourself, you can still want things.
The only thing I want now is for you to have everything that I’ll never be able to give you. A family, someone to grow old with.
freddiehirsch​:
I know.
I realised then I had to stop pretending that I was ever going to be able to have a normal life.
freddiehirsch​:
Camille….Don’t let that be a defining factor in all of this.
How can I not? I was disappointed too.
freddiehirsch​:
I say this every time. I don’t want that life. I don’t care what stresses, what obstacles, what difficulties there are. I’m glad I met you, I want you in my life.
I remember the way your face fell when they told me I’d never be able to have kids.
freddiehirsch​:
You never have to say sorry to me Camille. It’s okay.
But I do, you would have had a normal life if you’d never met me.
freddiehirsch​:
How I feel and react you can’t control that. I can’t even control that half the time. Whether you’d called me, or I’d found out another way. Things would be the same.Â
I’m sorry.