*feverish

camille cheslyn 35 invalid

[camillecheslyn]

freddiehirsch​:

[camillecheslyn]

freddiehirsch​:

I’m okay with that.

Well I’m not.

[camillecheslyn]

freddiehirsch​:

I know… Sorry.

You’re just making it harder for yourself.

[camillecheslyn]

freddiehirsch​:

Freddie...

[camillecheslyn]

freddiehirsch​:

[camillecheslyn]

freddiehirsch​:

Don’t do the look.

You don’t listen to me otherwise.

[camillecheslyn]

freddiehirsch​:

Good.

[camillecheslyn]

freddiehirsch​:

I’d like to see them try to fire me.

I really shouldn’t be so into you for that.

[camillecheslyn]

freddiehirsch​:

I don’t want you to lose your job because you’re sat in this chair waiting for me to die.

[camillecheslyn]

freddiehirsch​:

Then there’s no one else.

You have to try.

[camillecheslyn]

freddiehirsch​:

Do you want me to be happy?

Of course, that’s all I want.

[camillecheslyn]

freddiehirsch​:

But that doesn’t mean you have to give up everything, you can still have things for yourself, you can still want things.

The only thing I want now is for you to have everything that I’ll never be able to give you. A family, someone to grow old with.

[camillecheslyn]

freddiehirsch​:

I know.

I realised then I had to stop pretending that I was ever going to be able to have a normal life.

[camillecheslyn]

freddiehirsch​:

Camille….Don’t let that be a defining factor in all of this.

How can I not? I was disappointed too.

[camillecheslyn]

freddiehirsch​:

I say this every time. I don’t want that life. I don’t care what stresses, what obstacles, what difficulties there are. I’m glad I met you, I want you in my life.

I remember the way your face fell when they told me I’d never be able to have kids.

[camillecheslyn]

freddiehirsch​:

You never have to say sorry to me Camille. It’s okay.

But I do, you would have had a normal life if you’d never met me.

[camillecheslyn]

freddiehirsch​:

How I feel and react you can’t control that. I can’t even control that half the time. Whether you’d called me, or I’d found out another way. Things would be the same. 

I’m sorry.