White Caps

freddie hirsch - thirty six - engineering

[freddiehirsch]

camillecheslyn​:

Well I’m not.

[freddiehirsch]

camillecheslyn​:

You’re just making it harder for yourself.

I’m okay with that.

[freddiehirsch]

camillecheslyn​:

Freddie…

I know... Sorry.

[freddiehirsch]

camillecheslyn​:

[freddiehirsch]

camillecheslyn​:

You don’t listen to me otherwise.

[freddiehirsch]

camillecheslyn​:

Don’t do the look.

[freddiehirsch]

camillecheslyn​:

I really shouldn’t be so into you for that.

Good.

[freddiehirsch]

camillecheslyn​:

I don’t want you to lose your job because you’re sat in this chair waiting for me to die.

I’d like to see them try to fire me.

[freddiehirsch]

camillecheslyn​:

You have to try.

[freddiehirsch]

camillecheslyn​:

Of course, that’s all I want.

Then there’s no one else.

[freddiehirsch]

camillecheslyn​:

The only thing I want now is for you to have everything that I’ll never be able to give you. A family, someone to grow old with.

Do you want me to be happy?

[freddiehirsch]

camillecheslyn​:

I realised then I had to stop pretending that I was ever going to be able to have a normal life.

But that doesn’t mean you have to give up everything, you can still have things for yourself, you can still want things.

[freddiehirsch]

camillecheslyn​:

How can I not? I was disappointed too.

I know.

[freddiehirsch]

camillecheslyn​:

I remember the way your face fell when they told me I’d never be able to have kids.

Camille....Don’t let that be a defining factor in all of this.

[freddiehirsch]

camillecheslyn​:

But I do, you would have had a normal life if you’d never met me.

I say this every time. I don’t want that life. I don’t care what stresses, what obstacles, what difficulties there are. I’m glad I met you, I want you in my life.

[freddiehirsch]

camillecheslyn​:

I’m sorry.

You never have to say sorry to me Camille. It’s okay.

[freddiehirsch]

camillecheslyn​:

This really is what I’ve been trying to avoid, I hate seeing you like this because of me.

How I feel and react you can’t control that. I can’t even control that half the time. Whether you’d called me, or I’d found out another way. Things would be the same.