The Shitposter of Camelot

hahahahaha end me

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Merlin: Arthur, I like you

Arthur: Everyone does, I am the king after all

Merlin: ...

Arthur: ...?

Merlin: I take it back

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There are 3 Genders

1. Male

2. Female

3. Whatever funky groove Gwaine has going on

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Merlin characters as my comfort things

Merlin: Frog-shaped items

Arthur: Drawing/Painting

Gwaine: Burning incense

Lancelot: Hoarding plushies

Percival: Punching my pillow

Elyan: Inside by Bo Burnham

Leon: Listening to music at 3am

Morgana: Minecraft (but modded lol)

Guinevere: Flower picking/making flower crowns

Mordred: Spinning knives

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Merlin characters as things I have actually said before, part 2

Merlin: I will fight the Gods, and I will win

[Knight's name]: (Merlin) aren't you like, 5'1?

Merlin: irrelevant

Arthur: I should've thought that through but to be fair, I don't think very much

Morgana: I want to be a sword lesbian, a cottage core bisexual, a dark academia gremlin and an E-Girl, DO YOU SEE MY PROBLEM?!

Gwen: I poured orange juice into my brother's cereal and now he's crying what do I do

Gwaine: I just read a fanfiction where they referred to a guys d**k as schmeet and I think I'm about to pass out

Percival: If I could strangle Luther from TUA I would, but due to the fact that he could crush me into a human meatball, I will refrain

Elyan: I don't even know if I'm actually hungry, maybe I just like chewing and tasting

Leon: I have an unhealthy addiction to energy drinks and I can feel the sugary pain juice in my veins

Lancelot: I saw a frog yesterday and called it a 'little man' and [knight's name] called it a scum so I cried

Mordred: I think I'm edgy enough to be a poet but I don't have the energy to actually write coherent poems

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Every time I think about Sir Gwaine, I have to also think about Sirius Black because they both radiate such similar disaster bisexual energy it's fantastic

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Merlin characters as things I have actually said before

Merlin: I regret ever denying I was a bottom

Percival: Why my voice sound crunchy?

Arthur: I could to rule the world, be glad i'd rather watch youtube

Gwaine: ANNOUNCEMENT! I just finished crying

Elyan: I may be short but I can still curb stomp you

Lancelot: Hands? nahhh. *with jazz hands* necklace

Leon: My blood is milky coffee

Morgana: I process words slower than internet explorer, please say that again

Gwen: No thoughts, just siracha

Mordred: Would I get in trouble for wearing a plague doctor mask to school?

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I can't imagine how overwhelmed Arthur must have been when he found out Merlin was a sorcerer

He was just stabbed by Mordred, suffering in uncomfortable armour under a tree in the cold woods and probably dazed out of his mind

To find out one of your best friends is one of the people you're supposed to be opposed to in that moment would just be the cherry on top of a shitty shitty cake

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Y'know the way Merlin is a Slytherin?

Do you think he ever hated being in Slytherin house and Salazar Slytherin because back then they must have still despised muggleborns and muggles.

Like, Merlin is a chill sorcerer but he was very protective of people who didn't have magic like Arthur and Will, or people who only knew a little magic like Gaius.

He probably fucked shit UP in Hogwarts and I love that.

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I can write a six page essay in an hour about how much I love Merlin but it takes approximately three business days for me to write the first sentence of an English essay that costs me half my grade

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Do you guys ever stop and think about how Merlin didn't realise the extent of everyone's love for him?

He would give up his life for them, even without knowing they would do the exact same for him

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For the "What your Merlin character crush says about you" thing, my character crush is Nimueh (followed by Morgana), what does that say about me?

You have a very high standard of people you want to date but immediately melt at the sight of any woman who could snap ur neck

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Arthur is the type of dude who would say he hates dragons but once Merlin takes one under his care, Arthur immediately becomes attached to it and babies it constantly

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What your Merlin character crush says about you

Merlin - You're a sarcastic little fecker who's type is twinks don't @ me

Arthur - You read enemies to lovers tropes far too often

Gwaine - Deep, rough voices make you hot under the collar

Lancelot - Who hurt you?

Percival - MMMMM tall buff man go BRRRRRRR YESSIR

Leon - You're the mom friend who runs purely on caffeine

Elyan - You only settle for GENTLEMEN and/or anyone who is remotely nice to you

Morgana - hah, bottom

Gwen - You're the type of person who would say "if she ran me over I'd apologise" and honestly? Iconic

Mordred - Mans stabbed a bitch and y'all were like "me next 🤩♥️✨"

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Highschool AU's are my favourite fanfictions to read because I get to see King Arthur Pendragon become a jock who says "bro" and "dude" and I get to see Merlin become a sarcastic emo-esque baby

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Merthur x cottagecore aesthetic

Them baking bread in the morning only for Arthur to complain and just watch Merlin do it instead

Them making jam the night before and dancing around the kitchen, singing to a random song

Them going out for picnics in the forest behind their cottage and Arthur insisting they bring a huge basket of food

Arthur spending the day drinking tea and taking their dog on a walk through a field

Arthur having a little vegetable and/or fruit farm next to their house

Them owning a pet frog or snail or lizar- WAIT NOT THEY OWN A GECKO CALLED KILGARRAGH

They also have a white kitten called Aithusa. Their dog is called King

At night they lounge around in the sitting room with the fire on and they both read books silently on the couch

Them adventuring into the forest and Merlin pointing out different plants to Arthur who could care less, but loves listening to Merlin's voice

Merlin and Arthur trying to knit. Merlin can, but Arthur gives up and ends up giving the yarn to Aithusa

I have so many more ideas oh lawd

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Arthur: Gwiane, I'm genuinely concerned for you

Gwaine: [sipping olive oil out of a wine glass] shut up bitch boy

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Merlin: Oh this shirt looks really nice!

Gwaine: I bet it would look better on Arthur's floor

Arthur: Did you just hit on Merlin... for me..?