Crazy how many people want characters in fiction to speak and act like they’ve had 20 hours of intensive therapy. Could NOT be me I want these bitches fucked up insane
And finally… my last icon is complete! Alongside a new toyhouse icon I made a better reference sheet for her, since she didn’t have a full one :) with Ariyah’s icon complete, my toyhouse work is all finished!!
I’ll be updating and adding more stuff in the future to my toyhouse, but I’m happy with its status right now and that’s all I need :3
By far the hardest things about working on the sanimatrix project have been video editing and programming - can't program for shit and my editing experience is far far more traditional than the vision I have in my head for the project T-T I guess it's time to look deep for some tutorials lmao don't even know where to start
Long time no see!! (^-^) Life has once again gotten in the way of cyberspace, and I soooort offf forgot about this blog :P Anyway, some updates!!
First off, I ordered a new remote for the TV, and I'm just waiting for that to come in!! Hopefully I got the right one and I didn't waste $15 of my own money on a scam or something. Only time will tell, the wonders of online shopping!! I've been having these really weird dreams about the thing lately, so hopefully being able to actually work it will get this TV out of my mind for good.
Secondly, I found another tape! This one thankfully wasn't mailed to me. I found it behind the counter at work! I asked everyone working that day if it was theirs, and no one knew where it came from, so I decided to take it home and see what's on it. I've heard stories about people finding random VHS tapes ad playing them only to find some freaky snuff shit, so hopefully I don't see a murder or anything o.O
Haven't seen creepy guy around lately, usually I'll at least see him in the area asking for bus money or something, but nothing. I hope he's not dead or something...
That's all I really have for now. Oh! Except, I've been working on a new story!! It's called The Five Lessons, and it's about a person going through initiation to be part of a neon party-cult, plus some other stuff ;) You can read it here, and let me know what you think!! I've been experimenting with tags too recently, so if I see you here randomly, hello!!
I'll make an update as soon as the remote comes in as well, rest assured my devout followers!! Bye for now :)
New year's day was alright. Woke up without a hangover, which was nice, went to work which was NOT nice >:( That creepy guy came back, but my boss was on the floor with me this time, so he didn't stay too long. I should be worried at this point, but with the people I have to worry about every day OTHER than him, I barely have the energy to care. LOL!
What I really want to talk about today is the fight I had with my mom... I visited my family's house to pick up some things I left there on Christmas. Everyone was out of the house except my parents, and I intended to just stop by, say hi, pick up my stuff, a normal visit, you know??? Well because it's my parents' house, it couldn't be normal like I wanted.
My mom basically cornered my and asked me if I was still going through "that phase" of my life or something, then asked me if I was going to "change for the new year." ugh. I tried to tell her that I had a whole list of resolutions, but she told me that's not what she means, and that I know what she means. I guess I do, but I don't really get why she cares about my life! Like, I'm moved out, I'm going to college, I have a job, what else does she want from me?? All because I want to dress and be looked at a certain way? I think I've been a pretty model child, all things considered. I just hate it when my parents try to focus on the one 'off' thing about their kid and make that the biggest issue, like I'm going to go off and overdose or something. UGH!!!!
Then my dad got all pissy with me too, and started telling me I'm 'headed down a dark path' and that if I don't fix my shit or whatever, I'm going to grow up to be a prostitute or something??? He yelled some other stuff, but at that point I was already out the door and driving away.
I'm still reeling from that argument to be honest. If I can be vulnerable for a second, I feel like the longer I DON'T get into an argument with my parents, the harder it is to handle it when I do. Is everyone's family like this? Because it always seems like everyone around me is having a much easier time with theirs than I am. Whatever, I'll be done being emo now. I just wanted to get that off my chest.
In other news, I've been writing this short story lately called The Great Awakening!
It's about a man spending seven days in a haunted house with the promise of his greatest wish once he finishes the seventh day. I kind of gave up on Stapled Shut, since I didn't feel like I could go anywhere interesting with it. One thing I've been learning in class is that sometimes it's better to just let go of some ideas and play the game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game play my game pla
Work was nice, no weird guy today, though I am sort of constantly looking around for him just in case :/ No class today, so I was able to rest up a little Bit after the holidays. I LOve this time Of year, but my Depression hates it!!!
That’s aLl well and good, bUt I know why you all are REALLY here - for the package! I won’t lie, it took me moST of the day to work up the courage to finally open it up (I only just did right before writing this entry, and my suspicions were correct. It IS a TV!! It’s bigger than the one I already have, which is nice, but it didn’t come with a remote, so I can’t change the channel from static. The only things it DID come with were the hookups for it and this weird unmarked VHS tape, that I’m also scared to play. Not that I would be able to see what’s on it without a remote that is. I’m thinking of picking one up with my next paycheck so I can at least use the thing for other tapes. It was a little creepy finding something like this just sitting at my front door, but hey, new TV - I guess I can’t complain too much.
That’s all I wanted to bring up for today! I’m practically dead on my feet right now, so after I shower I’ll probably pass out as soon as my head hits the pillow.
It's New Year'sEve, finally!!! And for the first time ever, I was actually invited to a party! One of my coworkers gave me an invitation to their new year's eve bash. I hope it's not a boring work party like the Halloween one was earlier this year -_- that one didn't even have candy at it. What kid of Halloween party doesn't have candy??? Anyway, I'm hoping this one is full of booze, music, and hot guys!!!
Predictably, work has finally slowed down now that December is almost over. The only incident we had today was some mom coming in and demanding a refund for a CD her son bought FOUR MONTHS AGO. I need to quit T-T Not much other than that though. I was actually able to get some drawing in since it was so slow!! This one isn't done yet, but when it is I'll totally post it with another journal entry >:)
Well, other than that, class is starting back up again soon and I haven't done any of my homework over the break, so I'd better get on that now! Bye !!
EDIT: Okay, I usually don't update these posts after I write them, but I have to talk about the new year's party. IT WAS SO LAME!!! Everyone there was wayyy too drunk that it stopped being fun anymore, and I ended up leaving after like 2 hours of being there. I did meet a really cute guy though, and I think we hit it off, but he might have been drunk too >:( I don't know if he's into guys anyway though, so hopefully I can run into him again when we're both sober and in better moods. Overall, I would have had more fun if I stayed at home and played PS2. ALMOST the worst party ever.
Sorry for that weird glitch in the last entry!! I swear I wrote different stuff down, but I guess my computer glitched or something, idk. Whatever I was writing wasn't important anyway :3
Anyway, back to business! Something weird happened to me today. I was leaving for work when I walked into a GIANT box on my front porch, like, TV sized O.o It was HEAVY when I brought it in as well!!! The package also didn't have a stamp or a return address or anything on it, so I have no idea where it came from. I haven't opened it yet since I was already running late for work. Now that I'm home though, I'm kind of scared to open it! What if it's a giant bomb or something?? I can't think of anyone who would send me something like this. If anyone knows how to potentially defuse giant TV-sized bombs, please PM me before my curiosity gets the best of me!!!
In the meantime I'm going to listen to some music and try to calm my nerves before bed. If I have been reduced to a skeleton and my home to ashes in the night, I shall update you all. By for now!
It's New Year's Eve, finally!!! And for the first time ever, I was actually invited to a party! One of my coworkers gave me an invitation to their new year's eve bash. I hope it's not a boring work party like the Halloween was earlier this year -_- that one didn't even have candy at it. What kind of Halloween party doesn't have candy??? Anyway, I'm hoping this one is full of booze, music, and hot guys!!!
Predictably, work has finally slowed down now that December is almost over. The only incident we had today was some mom coming in and demanding a refund for a CD her son bought FOUR MONTHS AGO. I need to quit T-T Not much other than that though. I was actually able to get some drawing in since it was so slow!! This one isn't done yet, but when it is I'll totally post it with a journal entry >:)
Well, other than that, class is starting back up again soon and I haven't done any of my homework over the break, so I'd better get on that now! Byeeee!!!!
EDIT: Okay, I usually don't update these posts after I write them, but I have to talk about the new year's party. IT WAS SO LAME!!! Everyone there was wayyy too drunk that it stopped being fun anymore, and I ended up leaving after like 2 hours of being there. I did meet a really cute guy though, and I think we hit it off, but he might have been drunk too >:( I don't know if he's into guys anyway though, so hopefully I can run into him again when we're both sober and in better moods. Overall, I would have had more fun if I stayed at home and played PS2. ALMOST the worst party ever.
There is a feeling I get sometimes. A feeling that wriggles beneath my skin like millions of microscopic red worms shaped like veins as they pump their parasitic venom through my body and force it to go on. They tell me they care for me, the worms, but I don't think they ever show it.
On bad days, this feeling is all-encompassing, full-bodied, and tiresome. On bad days, my brain ceases its functions and I think the worms can tell, because on days like these, they flood their venom across my arms, legs, and fingertips until I feel bloated, overfull, to the point of bursting. My muscles feel like they're covered in fiberglass, rubbing against the inside of my dermis and each other when they move just the right way. It itches, no matter how much I scratch.
On really bad days, the worms revolt and dry up, clot themselves at my joints and hide within my bone marrow. On these days I want to rip parts of my body off. Scalpel. Sharp nails. Teeth. Anything to bring them back out. These days last the longest.
They tell me they care for me, the worms, but I don't think they ever show it.
Today was a very relaxing sunday! I woke up, made coffee, then hung out at the laundromat for a few hours. Then I got some groceries at the store, and I’ve been writing basically all day since then. Winter break is officially here, so I wanted to get some freewriting in while I’m ahead! I’ve got one or two assignments due next week, but they can take a back seat for a little while. If anyone is interested in seeing a skeleton of one of my stories, feel free to click here!!
Work is ramping up still. I hate working a retail job this time of year -_- the only solace I get is that once the season is over, I won’t have to think about it for at least 10 months, and everything will be smooth sailing again!! Money is money, though - can’t forget that I can’t keep the lights on as an author quite yet. LOL.
In other news I’ve been thinking a lot about my childhood, which I hear happens to people during their midlife crisis, so I hope I don’t die at 50! Either way, It’s a little personal so I won’t get into it here, but I have been wondering what my past self would think of me now in the present day. I wonder if she would be afraid of me! Kids love to stare at adults with dyed hair, haha.
I also wonder what my bullies are up to these days too! In my mind they’re all working dead end jobs as gas station clerks and golf course caddies, LOL!
Well, I’d better get back to writing before the inspiration leaves me. A couple of people have PM’d me that aren’t family or friends, so to all strangers, I hope you enjoy reading about the life of a random person online! Peace <3
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