my sleep schedule is completely fucked up but for good reason. look where i went over the weekend 😍
I cannot believe I’m able to check this off my bucket list

roma★
Not today Justin
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@theartofmadeline
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
NASA
cherry valley forever
Today's Document

Origami Around
trying on a metaphor
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
dirt enthusiast
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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#extradirty
Mike Driver
KIROKAZE

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
seen from Italy

seen from Japan

seen from Oman

seen from Germany

seen from Ukraine
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia

seen from Spain
seen from Türkiye

seen from United States

seen from Israel
@campchildish
my sleep schedule is completely fucked up but for good reason. look where i went over the weekend 😍
I cannot believe I’m able to check this off my bucket list
i told him i loved him again... this time sober. i don’t regret it, i’m just confused from his reaction... i apologized and he said i didn’t need to but something in me felt if i kept saying sorry, maybe i could take that moment back. i know that is impossible but for some reason i kept trying...
i feel like i’m missing apart of you. i’m happy i haven’t lost you completely even though i want more. i don’t want to feel like i’m holding out for you. i don’t want to get hurt. i want you to realize your excuses and make the effort because i’m done.
i don’t allow myself to process my feelings. i immediately run to other people and tell them what’s going on and allow their thoughts to get into my head. i need to sit back and soak it all in before i run. i need to stop running to seek reassurance, comfort & security. i need to feel the hurt. i need to soak it in, cry & let it out. i need to understand these feelings in order to gather my thoughts and know myself.
three things i am thankful for
1. the weekend i spent with G
2. coming home to my family
3. having a roof over my head
i dream about you & what we could be. we had a spark and i know you felt it. i know you still think about it. i wish no one else was there that night so i could pull you to the side and tell you exactly what’s on my mind. i want to confide in you but she is still in the picture. i don’t want to get in between that so i stayed behind.
i woke up today reminded of how i used to be. i will no longer be that girl. it is what it is & i will move forward. there is no one here that will bring me down, burn me, or watch me fall with no intention of catching me. i’m my own person & i always have been. the next person in my life will put in the effort. i will no longer allow one sided relationships/friendships. my standards are high and i will not lower them again.
my chest feels tight and i don’t know why. every little thing gets to me. every little thing has to be done all at once and if it isn’t i feel out of order. i feel my mind is all over the place. no one is quick to get me. i am stuck figuring myself out.
i need to keep reminding myself it’s not my job to fix damaged people.
i like it more when you’re not there
my blood is boiling right now. you never cared about him. you only ever care when it’s convenient, when you’ll receive attention. I don’t think I’ve seen genuine tears fill your eyes in years. Your facade when become unnoticed. People will eventually see you for who you really are, a coward.
i keep thinking about people that i know i shouldn’t be thinking about. i keep reminiscing on the good memories & i keep trying to forget why they’re no longer in my life. i think i’ll always miss them & i think they’ll always be apart of me, no matter what.
this year has been full of change & it’s hitting me real hard right now
Don’t question your worth, question those who made you feel worthless.
i drown in my thoughts i'm sinking & no one notices i stretch out my hand in hopes someone is there but all i can feel are the waves bringing me back to shore.
Don’t put your happiness in other people’s hands They’ll drop it. They’ll drop it every time.
(via sturzpoesie IG)
TODAY WAS A FUCKING ROLLERCOASTER
Interview at 11am. Cute cafe, cool people, hired on the spot. Then I pull into my school parking lot and I see a spot, pure luck since it’s the middle of the day when most people have their classes so usually that lot is full. DOPE. I pull in & I don’t quite clear my surroundings, scratching the paint off my dad’s truck right below his left headlight. Of course I panic & I quickly get back into the truck & park three lots away from my dorm. My nerves start to get the best of me so I decide to confess to my mom of my doing. She tries to reassure me that everything is okay, but I’m still pretty shook up. Now I’m laying here overwhelmed. I’m excited to have a job, but what if they’re expecting me to stay for summer? I feel like Ive been stuck in this predicament since the beginning of the spring semester. I feel if I stay here, I’ll miss out on all the time I could be spending with my family. But today I realized just how important it is to have money saved. Accidents happen & I have nothing to back myself up. All my friends are going to concerts, meanwhile I’m in my dorm trying not to even step foot out of the library or my dorm. There’s so many thoughts going through my head like I don’t have a stats midterm at 10am that I didn’t study for. I haven’t been to the gym in a good month, I’ve barely been eating, I don’t know where my time has been going, but I need more of it. I know that’s impossible, however I’m constantly feeling like there’s never enough time to do anything & it scares me. That’s definitely not the mindset that I want. I need to find my motivation again. I need to push myself. I need to prioritize everything. I need to stick to a schedule so I don’t feel all over the place. At the end of the day, all I got is me. & I’m trying to be the best version of myself than I was yesterday.