Interview at 11am. Cute cafe, cool people, hired on the spot. Then I pull into my school parking lot and I see a spot, pure luck since it’s the middle of the day when most people have their classes so usually that lot is full. DOPE. I pull in & I don’t quite clear my surroundings, scratching the paint off my dad’s truck right below his left headlight. Of course I panic & I quickly get back into the truck & park three lots away from my dorm. My nerves start to get the best of me so I decide to confess to my mom of my doing. She tries to reassure me that everything is okay, but I’m still pretty shook up. Now I’m laying here overwhelmed. I’m excited to have a job, but what if they’re expecting me to stay for summer? I feel like Ive been stuck in this predicament since the beginning of the spring semester. I feel if I stay here, I’ll miss out on all the time I could be spending with my family. But today I realized just how important it is to have money saved. Accidents happen & I have nothing to back myself up. All my friends are going to concerts, meanwhile I’m in my dorm trying not to even step foot out of the library or my dorm. There’s so many thoughts going through my head like I don’t have a stats midterm at 10am that I didn’t study for. I haven’t been to the gym in a good month, I’ve barely been eating, I don’t know where my time has been going, but I need more of it. I know that’s impossible, however I’m constantly feeling like there’s never enough time to do anything & it scares me. That’s definitely not the mindset that I want. I need to find my motivation again. I need to push myself. I need to prioritize everything. I need to stick to a schedule so I don’t feel all over the place.
At the end of the day, all I got is me. & I’m trying to be the best version of myself than I was yesterday.
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