Tales from the Campground

The front desk staff are not your friends

[campgroundtales]

*in the middle of a pandemic*

senior boss man: i can’t wait until you can take that scarf off of your head

staff: *wearing a mask

[campgroundtales]

Money is hard.

Staff: That'll be two dollars.

Customer: (gives staff two pennies)

Staff: No, two dollars.

Customer: (adds a quarter)

[campgroundtales]

And so it begins.

Customer: My wife and I aren't very technologically literate.

Me: That's okay! Sometimes it's just easier to make your reservation over the phone.

Customer: Every time you use a computer, you cut down a tree!

Me: ... oh. Sorry, how?

Customer: Well you have to print papers all the time!

[campgroundtales]

Eat the pool?

Camper on phone: Is the pool free?

Staff: Yes, it is.

Camper: Okay, one more question. Can I eat the pool?

Staff: Excuse me?

Camper: Can I eat the pool?

Staff: Do you mean can you eat AT the pool?

Camper: Yes, eat the pool.

[campgroundtales]

The gay pass strikes again.

Staff: This is your gate pass -

Camper: My gay pass?!

Staff: No. Your gate pass. The code to get in the gate is on the back.

Camper: This is the Internet code?

Staff: No. The gate code.

[campgroundtales]

Blood all over his face

Little boy runs into the camp store in a frenzy.

Boy: THERE'S A KID WHO'S GOT BLOOD ALL OVER HIS FACE IN THE POOL!

Staff1: Okay, let me go get one of the maintenance crew.

Staff2: Is the kid okay?

Boy: I don't know! HE'S GOT BLOOD ALL OVER! AND HE'S STILL SWIMMING!

Staff2: Do you know where his parents are?

Boy: Yep!

Staff2: You should go to their site and get them.

Boy: They're in the pool!

Staff2: ... are they worried?

Boy: NOPE!

JrBossman1 goes to see what was happening, and it turns out the kid just had a small cut on his forehead that wasn't even bleeding.

[campgroundtales]

Barnacles.

Customer: Do you have any literature on the Barnacle Gardens?

Staff: .... do you mean the Botanical Gardens?

[campgroundtales]

Guest checked out in the middle of the night due to "giant black spiders with white spots". All we found was four bags of their garbage.

[campgroundtales]

Things on my arm.

Camper buys a Canadian flag, and Staff accidentally places the end of the flag on his arm when putting it down on the counter.

Camper: Do you think I like things being put on my arm?

Staff: ... yes.

Camper: ... well, you're right.

[campgroundtales]

Phones on tent sites

Customer on phone: Hi, can you connect me to room 119?

Staff: .... this is a campground, and 119 is a tent site...

Customer: Oh.... okay bye.

[campgroundtales]

More money

Customer: How much are the slushies?

Staff: They're $2.50.

Customer: Okay. I have twenty-five cents.

Staff: ... okay. You need two dollars and twenty-five cents more then.

Customer: Oh......

[campgroundtales]

The gate.

Our campground has a security gate out front to prevent unregistered vehicles from entering.

One lovely day, three ladies were riding their bikes around the grounds. They came around the back route to the front of the park, and wanted to continue their journey by going past the gate.

They were riding single file, and the first two girls went around the gate, like you would expect any normal person on a bicycle to do.

The third girl, however, did not alter course, and rode straight ahead.

Straight ahead, and right into the gate.

Her body colliding with the gate caused its arm to snap, leaving our gate with half an arm, and its other half dangling downwards.

Normally, you would expect the rider to stop, hop off the bike and check the damage. This girl just kept riding, seemingly unfazed.

[campgroundtales]

The Million Dollar Question

Staff: Hey, JrBossman2, I'm sorry, but a camper just called and said that someone had peed all over the floor in the men's bathroom at the back.

JrBossman2: ... I just cleaned in there! I was there 15 minutes go!!

Staff: Well, he JUST called... he said there was pee all over the floor, and it was disgusting.

JrBossman2: Why? Why would someone do that?

Staff: I... don't know.

JrBossman2: Why would you do that?

[campgroundtales]

Okay, if I go here, and I gotta poop, I gotta make a fast run.

Customer looking at park map, trying to decide where they want to camp

[campgroundtales]

Hello, good night.

Phone rings shortly after 10pm on a weekend where we have been booked solid for quite literally weeks.

Staff: Hello, [park name].

Customer: Hello, good night.

Staff: Uh, hello.

Customer: Do you have any tent sites for this weekend?

Staff: No, I'm sorry. We have nothing available.

Customer: Not even if sleep in my car?

Staff: (thinks, you can sleep in your car in a parking lot for free) No.

Customer: (in a thick European accent) Well, I guess all I have left to say then is.... good night.

Staff: K, bye.

[campgroundtales]

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

Customer: Hi, do you have any sites for this weekend?

Staff: No, sorry. We're full.

Customer: You're full?

Staff: Yes, we are. Sorry.

Customer: SERIOUSLY? I just need a spot for one little tent.

Staff: We're full.

Customer: So you don't have space for one tent?

Staff: No, we are full. We don't have any spaces left.

Customer: Ugh. Thanks. Bye.

[campgroundtales]

Happy freaking August.