cams(pandora's version)

She/her 20/ Taurus/ I use fictional character a to cope

[camswish]

Marauder’s playlists

I wanted to post these on tt, but I have family and friends on there that have no idea what a marauder is. So enjoy having the playlists that I made for James, Siri, Remus, Peter and Regulus and my debrief of why I did them the way I did, because of course I took this assignment very seriously and had to build a story.

Let’s start with the rat king, Peter.

This one was a tricky one, I truly despise what the character of Peter represents and everything that he did to his friends. I truly cannot see how he was able to betray James and Lily like that, and not only that but to frame Sirius??? Oh my boy was a fucking maniac.

Buuut you also need to wonder why this betrayal hurted so much to the others, and it had to be because at the time. Peter was a true friend, someone to laugh and cry with. We never truly get to know the reasoning or feelings of Peter towards the war. We know he was scared, but what else? Who drew him to “the dark side” ?

With this playlist I wanted to embody that. The first songs are really happy and chill, they are actually songs that I truly love and think that Peter would have loved in his years at Hogwarts. Then we get to Spaces by One Direction.

Right after this song is where Pete started to change and doubt his way and side on the war. He was feeling left out, out of his comfort zone. I supposed that Peter was truly aware that they were only kids being thrown to a war none of them asked for, he didn’t want to die, and can we really blame him for that? So he checked his options and at the time I think he just acted on survival instincts and saw that Voldys side was winning and not dying, so…A part of me likes to think that maybe he joined the DE ranks so he could have a pull when Voldemort ascended to power and save his friends. DELUSION.

We end this playlist with No surprises by Radiohead. Peter ends his own life by yet again betraying the side he was supposed to be in, and the last thing he sees is James’s son trying to save him…so yeah.

Enjoy!

LET’S CONTINUE!

Next one is Siri. Oh my lovely and narcissist Sirius.

Sirius’s was actually pretty easy to make (as easy as him) 🤌🏻

But that is cause, even tho Sirius likes to act all mysterious and secretive, he can be read like an open book. I believe that it is the aftermath of living so many years repressing his own emotions, his own act of rebellion was to feel and show it.

We start with Dude looks like a Lady by Aerosmith cuz why not? We love or gender envy majesty. Sirius is messy and likes to keep up his rockstar facade only to be unmasked and show that he is a hopeless romantic that cares too much about the people he loves. Remus fell first but Sirius fell harder.

And then he gets disowned, that is when we get to Seven by Taylor swift. The next three songs showed the sadness and loneliness he felt at that time, the song Safe & Sound is so so special to me. It is a perfect example of how the relationship between Sirius and regulus was “I remember you said, <<Don’t leave me here alone>> but all of that has gone and passed” . Uff I actually cried when building that part on the playlist. I care for that song a little too much.

We end this playlist with Heroes by David Bowie. Sirius Black had a god complex, he wanted to save everyone but he forgot to save himself in the end. Good thing is, he encountered his best friend in the after life :’)

[camswish]

Marauder’s pt. 3

James

Uuuu my sunshine boy. There’s something so endearing and lovable about James that makes me feel like I actually know him. He feels so intimate. So close home.

First, off want to say that James Potter was a poc, no questions asked, please. So there’s no better way to start this playlist than with Play that Funky Music. Like, c’mon, you cannot tell me this doesn’t encapsulate the cheesy, mischievous, energetic, and cocky personality that James is. 

We have a lot of energetic music in here because James was an ADHD kid and you cannot convince me otherwise. He was the kid that was always bouncing his legs in class and using his wand as drumsticks (thank Remus for that for showing him a video of Roger Taylor) 

Out of all the Marauders, James was the one that was born knowing how to love. I believe that is why he left this earth so quickly because what for others takes years and years to learn, James was born with it, and he made it look so effortlessly easy; there was no other person as committed as James. The second he knew someone needed help, there was James, with a cuppa. Someone feeling down on exam season, there he was with a chocolate frog and a gentle smile. 

Some people may have thought James was a lunatic, that it was just a show. Because there was no way in hell that someone could be that gentle and kind to others. And that is true, and see here is the thing. Where James was noble, loyal, gentle and kind to others, he often forgot that he was “other” too. He was kind and patient with everyone, except for him. James, gave so much love and left little room for himself. He could build an entire shelter for other people, a home, a comfort zone but when he needed warm, when he needed comfort, he rejected himself he was left in the cold of his own indifference. Prongs is a people-first kinda person. 

Even until his last minutes on earth, he made a selfless decision to sacrifice himself. He didn’t even hesitate, didn’t even stop to think about what he wanted, about his own fears. My sunshine boy was so careless with his own life if it meant saving others. 

And, I’m already crying writing this, omg. We get to the Archer by Taylor Swift and to be honest, it just goes downhill from there, like it’s sad and sadder by the minute, and we get to Who wants to live forever” by Queen, and this lyric just ended me. 

“But touch my tears with your lips

Touch my world with your fingertips 

And we can have forever 

And we can love forever 

Forever is our today 

Who wants to live forever”

And My death by David Bowie 

“As surely as our love is right 

Let’s not think about the passing time 

But whatever lies behind that door 

There is nothing much to do 

Angel or devil I don't care 

for in front of that door there is you 

My death waits like a beggar blind”

And finally, because I’m mentally ill, and I like to make myself cry, we end with a cover of Life on Mars? by none other than Aurora. 

And that is it, I will not comment on anything else. I’m already crying and sobbing, and throwing up. 

[camswish]

Marauder’s playlist pt. 4

Regulus 

Aaaa. I know he doesn’t count as a Marauder per se, but I just couldn’t keep him out of this. 

Out of all the Marauder’s era characters, I have to say Regulus Black is my all-time favorite. I just cannot describe the amount of love I feel for this silly little character who is very morally grey, but we love him. 

I could write an essay (maybe I should) about how the relationship between the Black brothers is so devastating and yet so important to the plot in Harry Potter, I completely love that JK didn’t give us anything about Regulus, because, to be honest, I feel like she would have ruined his character. Not only that, but I prefer to have him close to the fandom. Come to think of it, that’s the reason why a lot of people likes the marauders better than the golden trio, because since we have little no nothing about their lives we get a lot more room to play with and that is where the fun comes. 

Okay we start this playlist with a huge song, which is Yellow Flicker Beat by Lorde. For me, this song screams the power of Regulus Black, and also, you cannot tell me Reggie wouldn’t have love Lorde, like she is a quite genius, like Reg. 

“My blood is a flood of rubies, precious stones

It keeps my veins hot, the fires find a home in me

I move through town, I'm quiet like a fire

And my necklace is of opal, I tie it and untie it”

“This is the start of how it all ever ends

They used to shout my name, now they whisper it”

Such a good song to tell us everything we need to know about this character. “I move through town, I'm quiet like a fire” That is Regulus right there, the quiet and unexpected threat. Regulus was the spare, the second born, the “just in case” child. He was the youngest, living under the wing of his older brother, and also under his shadow. It is so hard for me when people says that Regulus didn’t love Sirius, I don’t think they understand how the love between siblings works. A love between siblings is so gentle subtle but yet so strong that you can feel is there. 

Regulus hated Sirius when he left, but he hated him for how much Regulus needed him after. He hated himself for being so dependant on Sirius, for many years Sirius was there to hold him and care for him. And when he left Regulus believed that he failed his brother on the only job a sibling has. But he could never be as brave as Siri, as outspoken as Siri.

You see, when Regulus learns about all the suffering he could save Sirius by just staying quiet and taking it, he did. Every. Single. Time. The silence was Regulus' way of telling Sirius he watched and cared for him, “I’ll be nice, so they are nice to you” and “I’ll be good so you don’t have to suffer” 

But Sirius didn’t know that…

He took it as if his brother was one of them, part of them. In reality, Regulus never belonged to any side, he only belonged to Sirius's side, until the end. 

We get to the moment where Regulus realizes he is next in line, and the place he will need to fulfill with Sirius gone. He knows there is no way out, even if people tells him there is, he knows the only way to keep his loved ones far from danger is by doing exactly what he is told to.

“It's just a question of time

Before they lay their hands on you

And make you just like the rest”

But, again. Regulus is not one for sharing what he is thinking or plans to do. So nobody knows that in his mind, that is the only way to keep them safe. Nobody is listening, is always so hard, always rooting for the anti-hero.So he distance himself so they don’t see what has become of him.

Until…

The horocruxes appear, and oh, my boy thinks he is so brave and powerful. But is he? I firmly believe Regulus knew he was going to die that day. He prepared everything, he left the letter to Pandora, he prepared his deathbed and lay in it ready to great death. 

And I just want to appreciate the song You Want it darker” by Leonard Cohen. To meee this song perfectly describes how Regulus was feeling and acting when he found out about the horocruxes. He acted oblivious and kept serving Voldemort for a few more days, but he had a look and a smile of “I know your secret”

“If you are the dealer, I'm out of the game

If you are the healer, it means I'm broken and lame

If thine is the glory, then mine must be the shame

There's a lover in the story

But the story's still the same

There's a lullaby for suffering

And a paradox to blame

I’m ready my Lord” 

The rest of the songs are just so sad from there. I’m actually concerned for my mental health because why would someone do this? We end this playlist with Born to Die by Lana del Rey because that song needs to be in a museum. And the final final song on this playlist is…

Heroes by David Bowie, buuut cover by Scala & Kolacny Brothers. If you haven’t heard this cover please do yourself a favor and listen to it. 

Both Sirius and Regulus playlists end with the same song but with a different artist. Whereas Sirius’s is more upbeat since it is the original version, it has a bittersweet taste to it. Regulus version isn’t, it is straight-up sad and tragic as his existence was,

But he tried to be a hero…just for one day.

[camswish]

Marauder's playlist pt. 2

Remus

Now we pass on to Remus Lupin. Oh Remus is so close to my heart; he is one of my favorite characters of the saga. I find his story so tragic and sad that is not fair he got such a sad and bittersweet ending. Like, please give my boy a moment of peace. He had to survive since he was 5 years old.

But anyway, pretty much like the rest of the Marauders, Remus feels a lot but is afraid of feeling because feeling means you care, and caring for other people has only brought him sadness and disappointment. Remus was not very used to people caring and loving him just because, of course, he had his parents I truly believe his parents loved him very much, but they had a hard time showing it, he knew what unapologetic love was when he met the Marauder’s and found out that, yes, people can love you even if you think you are not lovable.

He also met what betrayal and heartbreak were when he met the Marauders…

But I won’t talk about how the relationship between Remus and the Marauders was after the Prank and during the war because it hurts so much for me to even think about how Remus felt when the people he trusted and love the most, doubted him. I think you can see it on the playlist.

If you take a look you will see that both Remus and Sirius have a song that is title “Somebody to Love” but from different bands, Sirius has Jefferson Airplane and Remus has Queen. Both songs talk about needing and wanting someone to love but each song wants it for a different reason. While the Queen song talks more about wanting someone to love because the person is tired of fighting of having to work harder and harder every day and they just want the comfort of knowing that they are loved, the Jefferson Airplane takes another twist of the phrase Somebody to Love, is about a person wanting to escape their reality wanting an out and wanting to have it with someone, it has more rage and wildness to it.

The parallels between these two songs, for me, are the best way to describe the Wolfstar dynamic.

We end the playlist with Space Oddity and Starman by David Bowie.

“And I think my spaceship knows which way to go

Tell my wife I love her very much, she knows

Ground Control to Major Tom

Your circuits dead, there’s something wrong”

"Goodbye love

Goodbye love

There's a Starman

Waiting in the sky”

[adharastarlight]

12 yr old James to Sirius: I think your house is haunted, your dad is always mad and that must be why

13 yr old James: and I think you should come live with me and we can be pirates

14 yr old James: then you won't have to cry

15 yr old James: ...or hide in the closet

[camswish]

James and Pandora after Regulus stabbed Bellatrix with a fork for touching James

[camswish]

la historia de los hermanos Black, siempre me va a parecer de las tragedias más grandes. se amaban pero ninguno sabía cómo proteger al otro y comunicarse cuanto se querían, los dos murieron pensando que el otro lo odiaba y… disculpen voy a llorar

[ema-s0m01]

is it really a jegulus fanfic if there is not:

a) james being called the sun

b) regulus being annoyed at being called reggie/reg/any pet name tbh

c) stargazing at the astronomy tower

d) regulus swearing at james in french

e) screaming, crying, throwing up type of love confession

f) sirius finding out and being a drama queen about it

g) comparison to any type of greek history/mythology event/people that end up in tragedy

[apoetlens]

you’re trying to tell me that Regulus discovers his boyfriend and brother are the youngest ever animagi.

and he? what?

accepts it?

no. he’s a petty motherfucker.

the day afterwards he would begin the process, and not speak to any of them. which is very much a him thing to do, communicating only through notes for a month out of anger.

except when they all decide this is enough, and corner him

he just smiles and transforms into a black cat before their eyes.

[moonysmocha]

Do you ever just sit around and think “Yep. Regulus Black definitely had an iron deficiency.” Because honestly sames.

[camswish]

Dios tenía tanto tiempo que no leía, si, son puras fan fictions pero estoy leyendo! I think that counts for something

[melxs-stuff]

I'm wrecked. Destroyed. My soul is in pain

[jamesisthesun]

i still can’t believe we went from

"You'll always be my Reg,"

to fucking

“I want you to be aware that I don't forgive you for this. I want you to be aware that whatever we had, whatever we were doing these last two days, that's done. Don't touch me. Don't sneak into my room and expect me to hold you, because I won't. Don't apologize, because I don't want to hear it."

[camswish]

“Brincamos, giramos y cantamos como si fuera nuestra última noche en la Tierra. Me hubiera gustado permanecer allí por siempre”

— Cartas de Amor a los Muertos

[snow-in-the-desert]

Dramione Recommendations

Ok so, 2020 has been A LOT but on a personal note one of the most surprising things to happen was me discovering Dramione fanfiction and becoming unashamedly obsessed with it. I really didn’t see that coming but I’m here now and I’m here to stay. 

I think I started reading in the Dramione fandom around mid July last year?? (In all honesty I’ve lost any true sense of time’s progression at this point so I could be well off the mark with that) And I’ve decided to compile a list of all my favourite fics I’ve read so far. Why? I really just want to gush over all the amazing writers I have found through this fandom because y’all deserve it. 

Side note: If any of the authors actually sees this post just dm so I can buy you coffee or post you writing supplies or something idk I feel like that’s the least I can do for all your amazing work x

Remain Nameless by @heyjude19-writing

Ok I have to start with RN because this fic is pretty much the sole reason I decided to create an account with A03 or a tumblr or just decided to get involved with this fandom at all. 

I headcannon this story hard. But I think even if you aren’t a fan of Dramione you should just read this because it is so unbelievably good and well written and poignant and Draco’s sarcastic personality in this is truly a thing of beauty in this - I relate to his inner monologue’s on a deep personal level. 

I could rave about this story any time, any day of the week, just ask me. In fact, maybe I’ll just start a HeyJude19 fan club to fulfill that urge.

There are so many elements that I love but for the sake of brevity, RN is a beautifully told story of Draco and Hermione finding love and healing in a post-war HP setting. Heyjude19 had the very special ability of making me want to simulatenously laugh, cry and swoon with the power of her words. Just stop what you are doing and go read it now if you havent already, ok?  

I also really enjoyed reading Bells on a Hill, Beers, Potions and Unwise Notions and A Shift in Focus, if you are looking for smaller fics, definitely give these a go. They are all funny and heartfelt stoires that will make your tippy toes wriggle with glee. 

The Rights and Wrongs Series by @lovesbitca8

The Right Thing To Do, All The Wrong Things and The Auction are the holy trinity of Dramione writing. I have christened it thus, so mote it be. And frankly I’m not interested in any other opinion than that one, thank you very much!

After reading this series I don’t think I’ll be able to look back on the orginal HP books without thinking of Hermione’s and Draco’s memories of their time at Hogwarts in these fics as anything other than strictly cannon. 

So many things to love about this series but I think one of the major highlights was Hermione and Draco’s use of occlumency. LoveBitca8 created such beautiful visuals with how occlumency works as a magical practice and seeing Draco and Hermione so devoted to eachother to the point of safeguarding their inner most feelings to protect eachother was unbelievably romantic and poetic. 

Also the smut is divine ;)

Manacled by @senlinyu​

My heart will never be the same after reading this story. Like I actually can’t think about this fic without getting a lump at the back of my throat. I have never felt so emotionally ruined after reading anything, compared to the likes of this fic. Just please, please read it. To badly quote HP, reading Manacled will make you suffer but you’re going to be happy about it.

The flashbacks are a rollercoaster in of themselves but the way Hermione inadvertently refers to them when she is still in a state of memory loss was so heartbreaking to read. My heart still aches for them both. Also its a truly satisfying to see Draco and Hermione written in a way were they are both so fiercly protective of one another. They make my insides go soft. 

I also really enjoyed Snow Fall, Now Is A Gift and All You Want by the author but to be honest anything written by Senlinyu is always thoroughly enjoyable and worth a look. 

The Erised Effect by @adaprix​

Ada is QUEEN of dramione smut but ‘The Erised Effect’ is top tier. Its equal parts funny, romantic, sentimental and oh so sexy. Ada really knows how to build and build on sexual tension and doesn’t disappoint on the final delivery. I’m a big admirer of her writing style and just veraciously read whatever she posts but ‘The Erised Effect’ is just golden. A must read. (Also Pansy’s sexual fantasy in this story is a visual I don’t think I’ll ever be able to remove from my brain so thanks for that Ada)

Also quick side note: Adaprix’ stories were the first I read when I was looking into this fandom and it was enough to get me hooked on the pairing from the get go so I have that to thank Ada for too. I remember devouring all the stories she had posted to A03 and when I was done I was like… now what am I supposed to do with my life?? And that’s basically when I began to look deeper into the fandom and thus the course of my life in 2020 changed for the better. 

Some other stories I love by her are Break for Me, All My Sins, The Big 4-0, The Fucklust Series and The Flat in Bath. 

Clean by @olivieblake​

This 6th Year AU where Draco and Hermione work together on a class assignment and end up falling in love had me feeling all kinds of ways when I read it. I almost don’t know where to start but I think one of the stand out things for me was how immersed I felt in reading it. 

Hogwarts is captured really well, you get a good sense of class atmospheres, character nuances and behind the scenes of events that happen in HBP but from a Draco and Hermione’s perspectives. It’s well executed and intricate tapestry of a fic. With an excellent plot twist ending! 

Also Hermione and Draco’s relationship in this is equal parts fluffy and smutty and it just ticks all the right boxes that you want to see for those characters ;)

Breath Mints / Battle Scars by @onyx-and-elm​

The angst in this one is just *chef’s kiss*

God I love this fic. The way Draco is portrayed is very true to his defensive and tetchy character in the original books but he is also given so much more depth. The way his diary entries are written are just so well executed. It’s a true testament to the author’s creative writing skill. And I LOVE how even though Draco is clearly in such a messed up place, he still has a basic level of self respect and dignity that he won’t tolerate being used or undervalued in his relationship with Hermione. 

Yep, I really love Draco’s characterisation in this one if you can’t tell.  But Hermione is also well written too. Her stuggles and trauma of returning to Hogwarts after war is described in a believable and grounded way. And my heart definitely ached for them both. I just wanted to wrap the pair of them in a big fuzzy blanket and tell them that everything will be alright. 

WANDS OUT! by @persephonestone​

This murder mystery / Dramione / Theo x Harry / AU crossover is everything I didn’t know I wanted until I read it. I felt like I was picked up and plonked right into an alternative dimension where all the characters of HP are just living it up in an Agatha Christie novel. 

It’s a funny and clever story that I found refreshing to read amongst all the other fanfics that are usually cemented in the HP timeline or universe. Theodore Nott in this fic is perfection he should be written like this in every fic from now on in my opinion. I couldn’t stop giggling any time he had a scene in the story.

And the ‘only one bed’ trope in this fic is 10/10. I don’t want to give spoilers but ohmygod. It hits all the right notes. 

The One With Technical Difficulties by cassielassie 

Cassielassie has an excellent three part series of Dramone called ‘The One with…” but I have to give special credit to this story in particular for one main reason. ELEVATOR TROPES. I can’t get enough of em. I think I have my early childhood viewings of NCIS to thank for my obsession with elevator tropes they just do something to me that simply cannot be explained with mere words. The palpable sexual tension of being in a broken down elevator with an ‘enemies to lovers’ pairing, a heated arguement breaks out followed by a discovery of mutual feelings and a romantic embrace…

Eugh. It gets me everytime. And this fic is no exception. I loved it for all the reasons I’ve already stated above but also for the attention to detail in Draco and Hermione’s careers makes this one particularly immersive. The dynamics between them established in this one-shot are convincingly portrayed and the chemistry between them is so undeniably hot. 

The Light is No Mystery by @masterofinfinities​

Yooo if you want to read a dramione fic that is a deep dive into Pureblood culture and Post-War recovery but is also a perfect allegory for discrimination and today’s political landscape of moral grandstanding for votes then look no further than this one. 

This story has a bit of everything. Intrigue, mystery, ptsd and recovery, enemies to lovers / secret relationship, government conspiracy and humour, to name a few. I eargerly await every update to this story and am anxious to know how it ends!

The Eagle’s Nest by HeartOfAspen 

Finally! A fic that gives me the Ravenclaw representation I crave. I think I could recommend this fic on the lore depicted of Ravenclaw house alone. ‘The Stacks’ and Rowena Ravenclaw’s own ‘come and go room’ are just such cool details that I could see being real in the HP universe. 

This fic is so cosy and makes me feel like I’m just popping back into Hogwarts for another year. You get to see all the usuals like prof. Mcgongall, Nearly headless Nick, PEEVES, Hagrid, as well as learn more about minor characters from the other school houses. The story follows Hermione going to her day to day classes and there are interesting concepts about magic and alchemy that are explored. 

Draco and Hermione’s relationship in this one is of course very fluffy and heartfelt. But it’s the attention to detail that really makes this fic outstanding and the experience of reading it feels fleshed out and true to HP universe.

A shorter fic by HeartofAspen that I recommend is one called Set in Stone, it has an adventurous, Indianna Jones vibe to it, that I am so down for. 

Teachable Moments by @purplesugarquills

In this fic Hermione is an innocent little virgin determined to learn everything about sex. And Draco Malfoy is her tutor. If that isn’t enough to get you on board then I don’t know what is. Both Heartfelt and Steamy. PurpleSugarQuills writes smut so well but it’s the progression of their growing attachment and the nervous treading of new uncharted waters of romantic relationships for both of them that just adds a whole other level of feels to the story. Also chapter 9 is like reading poetry - its so good. Eugh just give it a read if you haven’t already.

Les Pèlerins by @pacific-rimbaud

This story is high art. It’s transcendent. Reading this story feels like the emotional equivalent of standing around a hundred glowing fairy lights, sipping hot cocoa and being wrapped in the loving embrace of a s/o. I can’t speak my praises highly enough or even become passably coherent in my words when I try to articulate a review. 

From the very first paragraph I felt like I was just whisked away on a Parisian holiday and I’ve never even bloody been to Paris but damn it if this story didn’t make me feel like I was there. The writing style is just so tactile and intense it’s like I could feel the cold winter air brush against me as I read it. Eugh I just completely fell in love with the story and the writer. 

New Year’s resolution. Read everything PacificRimbaud has ever posted online. 

[my-beloved-ghosts-and-me]

me: :)

"𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵"

me:

this is me every single day thanks to @senlinyu and I will be forever grateful for the graciously way she broke my heart in tiny pieces

[2busydancing]

That’s BDE ya’ll