Tonight I'm watching "Better Things" on HBO and there's this episode where the main character, mother of three girls, is having a pretend funeral with her children and a few friends... They talk about how she is like and what they'd regret not saying to her. It got me teary eyed as I keep thinking of my mother who died just before her 47th birthday a couple years ago. Since she died I've realized countless things I'd wish I could talk to her about... mostly things like -How do you get through the day? -How do I make ________ And most of all just being able to say "I miss you" and getting an answer back o.o But losing her didn't just have me missing her, it also triggered a death-fear. I fear that I will be like her and die at a young age... I'm scared that I'm simply wasting time that I could be using doing things I love. Another thing and this one I hate is that she will never meet my so or come to my wedding or even meet my future children... . . . . #future #death #dead #rip #fearofdeath #deathfear #wastingtime #losingfamily #motherless #missed #missyou #loveyou #hate #scared #hopeful #dieyoung #hbonordic #betterthings #memory #memories #sad #reminiscing #reminiscingmemories #lost #funeral #thingsgetbetter #thingsgetbetterwithtime #thingsgetbetterintime https://www.instagram.com/p/BumLAZNBxxZ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=12ddkivm29hfc