“Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?”
“I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you never use it.”
“I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.”
“You bring everyone a lot of joy, when you leave the room.”
“If you are going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty.”
“You’re so ugly you scare the shit back into people.”
“Two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents as an example.”
“I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that.”
“If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.”
“You shouldn’t play hide and seek, no one would look for you.”
“I don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I’d drink it.”
“Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside.”
“The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s ass and wait.”
“What are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants his butt back?”
“I may love to shop but I’m not buying your bullshit.”
“If I were to slap you, it would be considered animal abuse!”
“You have two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.”
“What are you doing here? Did someone leave your cage open?”
“Why don’t you check eBay and see if they have a life for sale.”
“You look like something I’d draw with my left hand.”
“Please, the only dates you get are on a calendar.”
“If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart.”
“You get as much action as a nine button on a microwave.”
“Looks like you fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.”
“It’s hard to get the big picture when you have such a small screen.”