That was sweet.

10% of the sales go to sugary divisions or i riot!

[candyhaver]

When... when will my candy return from war?

[feaanswers]

[candyhaver]

primpingandpimping:

She watches the planchette move to reveal Gaius’ message. “What?! How do you expect me to send you candy? Kill some Twizzlers and send them your way? Ugh, nevermind. Focus! Who do you last remember seeing?”

Actually that ain’t a bad idea now that I think about it... (Gaius takes a moment to consider his next message, how would he answer Severa’s question?)

Who do I last remember seeing uh... cripes, that’s a question alright! Oh, I know! Tell her I didn’t see anybody! In fact, I was eating gobs and gobs of candy when I suddenly collapsed on the floor. Someone musta’ shot an arrow at my behind during my candy bliss!

[candyhaver]

primpingandpimping:

Severa sets down a Ouija board next to the ginger’s still body and readies the chocolate planchette. “Gauis, are you here? I’m here to find your attacker.”

(Gaius is in a far different realm at this point, past sugar-coma, and is now slipping further into the Light. So it’s a very surprise when a sugar plum angel tells him that old Sev’ wanted to communicate with him!) 

Oh, oh! Tell her I’m here and that Gaius is currently roaming something purgatory or somethin’! Actually... I’m sorta hungry too. I want some candy also.

[candyhaver]

Alright, spit it out, now! Who took my candy?! I had three batches of chocolate chip cookies in my stash and they’re GONE! GONE! They just don’t disappear like that! I want some answers, now!

[candyhaver]

this is what I think of whenever I see Gaius call Olivia “babby” and it never fails to make me snort (and of course featuring the babby herself this time around)

[lucinalucinalucinalucinalucinal]

[candyhaver]

LOCAL CANDY HAVER FOUND DEAD

REPORTING IN ON SEPTEMBER 10TH, 2015

Disastrous messages have been spreading throughout the camp that Gaius “Nimble Fingers” Candyhaver has been found dead in his tent after an apparent “candy rush”, investigators are stating.

“We just don’t know how much candy he ate.” Investigator Ricken tells us. “He was just eating some apples in the kitchen with Olivia and Severa earlier and a few hours later we found him like this. His heart isn’t beating but for some reason he’s still breathing, but really shallowly.”

Further questions weren’t - or rather couldn’t - be answered. Upon asking if Gaius had eaten up his entire stock of candy, fellow investigator Henry simply shrugged. “I actually don’t know what I’m doing here. I just heard there was a dead body so I came to look at it. I didn’t know it was Gaius!”

Further comments from witnesses, such as Severa, who was just making cakes with him at the time, voices her opinion on his apparent “death”.

“He licked the spoon and told me ‘I need more SUGAR!’ before running off somewhere. Olivia tried to stop him but he kept running after killing some Gingerbread Guardian or whatever. I don’t really care. He’ll probably wake up if you wave some Skittles under his nose.”

Nothing else was reported from witnesses as everyone else just said, “It’s the usual for him.”

Healers Lissa and Maribel used their staffs, only to have Gaius start screaming in his sleep about how the candy monsters would eat him before suddenly falling back into his death-like state.

More coming at you tonight at 11, this was Guardians of Ylisse news station.

[candyhaver]

gaius

age 21. i dont fuck around.

[herounit-deactivated20160130]

Visit Original Link

[candyhaver]

shitnarou:

[candyhaver]

olivia-the-shy:

candyhaver:

IM BUSY GETTING THE GOODS JUST U FUCKIN WAIT BOOKWORM YOUR ASS WILL BE FULL OF DISNEY GOODS

GAIUS NO~…!

[candyhaver]

IM BUSY GETTING THE GOODS JUST U FUCKIN WAIT BOOKWORM YOUR ASS WILL BE FULL OF DISNEY GOODS

[candyhaver]

MMMMM OH MY GOD STOP FUCKIN’ LYIN!!!

[candyhaver]

when they say they’ll pay you in candy but u do the job and have yet to receive even a single piece of candy

🎶 ʷʰʸ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ ʸᵒᵘ ᶫʸᶦᶰ ﹖👀💯 WHY YOU ALWAYS LYIN ?? 😫😓👀 ᵐᵐᵐᴹᴹᴹᴹᴹᵐ ᵒʰ ᵐʸ ᵍᵒᵈ !!! 😫😫😫😫 STOP FUCKIN LYIN ‼️‼️‼️😭👀💯 🎶

[candyhaver]

lucinalucinalucinalucinalucinal OWAIN GOES BACK TO NERD MODE AND AS PAYMENT HE HAS INIGO  PLAYOUT SOME OF HIS FAVORITE MOMENTS IN HISTORY, HE PLAYS OUT THE MOMENT WHERE IKE KILLS ASHNARD AND INIGO DOESN’T WANT TO BE KILLED AND THEY GET INTO A REALLY BIG ARGUMENT AND START FIGHTING WITH WOODEN STICKS

[candyhaver]

lucinalucinalucinalucinalucinal HE’S THE ONE WHO, IN THE MIDDLE OF MATH CLASS, ANSWERS EQUATIONS WITH HISTORICAL EVENTS AND IS GIVEN “THE LOOK” BY THE TEACHER

[candyhaver]

owain WOULD be the one to tie his blazer around his waist omfg...