I’ve been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night And now I see daylight, I only see daylight – T.S.
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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

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I’ve been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night And now I see daylight, I only see daylight – T.S.
This is a cute knitted hedgehog with a pumpkin!
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🍁Autumn night🍁
Print by MysticMultiples on Etsy.
Te encontré en el techo de la casa de mi madre. Llevabas algunos días ahí, sin decir nada, y cuando llamaste por teléfono tuviste que decirme la verdad.
Aunque me costó mucho trabajo subir, porque no tenemos escaleras, logré apilar baldes de pintura vacíos para llegar hasta arriba y encontrarte.
No recuerdo qué ropa llevabas, pero sí recuerdo que me mostraste la cicariz que te atravesaba el cráneo, por debajo de tus cabellos, de la herida que te quitó la vida.
Incluso hicimos una videollamada con tu hermana para que pudiera verte, y frente al celular nos tomamos fotos sonriendo, abrazados, como las que jamás nos hicimos cuando vivimos juntos.
Me sentí muy feliz.
When Dean had suggested that he and Cas watch American Gods together, he hadn’t really thought this far ahead. He hadn’t even remembered that it would happen; he’d read the book, back when it had first come out – a snatched copy from a display in a book store – but by now, he’d forgotten about Salim entirely. He didn’t even recognise the character until he sat in the taxi with the Jinn driver, at which point Dean felt his stomach clench with sudden apprehension.
“This is a highly inaccurate depiction of a Jinn,” Cas commented, like he had with most of the gods so far – although he did seem to enjoy the show as much as Dean, despite the inaccuracies. He was not so much complaining, it seemed, as he was pointing out.
“Tell me about it,” Dean tried to chuckle, but he was suddenly all too aware of Cas’s thigh pressing against his in the newly-acquired two-seater they’d bought for the Dean cave. The salesman had called it a “love nest”, which had made Dean sputter at the implication until Sam had explained that it was a common name for that kind of couch. Dean could see why now. A little bit of spreading one’s legs for the sake of comfort, and the result was pretty intimate.
Dean tried to catch Cas’s reaction to Salim and the Jinn holding hands during the elevator ride up to Salim’s hotel room from the corner of his eye, but none seemed to be forthcoming.
Dean held his breath, wondering how they’d portray the scene that would come after. He remembered himself at 22 years old, not yet fully aware he was into men, reading about the taste of the Jinn’s semen and feeling strange about it. He’d been in the car with Dad, so he’d put the book away, face red with something like guilt or shame, but later that night, he’d picked up the book again and read that part over and over again under the covers of his bed, holding a flashlight.
Dean wasn’t sure how he’d feel watching those things now, here, on the couch next to Cas. Maybe – hopefully – there wouldn’t be an actual sex scene. Maybe they’d skip that part; maybe they’d just imply that the sex would be happening.
They didn’t skip it.
It wasn’t like any sex scene Dean had ever seen before; it wasn’t just sex, it was… worship. They were worshipping each other. It was love too, somehow, even though they’d only just met. One human, one more than human. A higher being. Like the one sitting next to Dean right now, the heat from his body seeping through clothes and making its way to Dean’s own skin.
Dean swallowed. He wondered if Cas was feeling anything like he was feeling, watching the two beings on the screen come together. He didn’t dare to watch Cas for a reaction; if, once again, there was none, Dean didn’t know whether he’d be more relieved that Cas didn’t find it distasteful or discouraged that it didn’t make Cas feel anything at all. Besides, Dean didn’t know what his own face would give away right now if Cas happened to look back.
It turned out Dean didn’t have to look. “Oh,” Cas breathed beside him, and between what was happening on the screen and that sound from Cas, Dean had to discreetly (and hopefully casually) place a hand over his crotch. “This is beautiful,” Cas continued as the scene changed into what looked almost like a dream. Salim and the Jinn now appeared as dark figures in an equally dark desert landscape, stars glittering above them and below them in the sand as they became one, the Jinn’s fire – his desert heat – entering Salim and lighting him up from within.
Dean blushed at the sight of Salim’s not-real-but-real-enough erect cock – proof that Salim was enjoying his union with the Jinn. Not that there was any doubt of that anyway; even without that particular visual, Dean still would have gotten the impression that having that impossible, powerful being inside of him was everything Salim could have ever wanted.
“You think so?” Dean’s throat squeezed around the words, turning them hoarse as he forced them out.
“You don’t?” Cas looked at him, then. Dean’s instinct was to look down at his lap, but that would be a bad idea if Cas decided to follow his gaze, so he kept his eyes fixed on Cas’s.
“I guess. But… the Jinn leaves.” It wasn’t what he’d meant to say, and he blushed at having revealed too much of his own insecurity. At least he wasn’t spoiling the show; Cas was familiar with the novel, courtesy of Metatron.
“You would rather he stay with Salim?” Cas angled himself more toward Dean, ignoring the screen now, eyes lit up with curiosity, and Dean couldn’t help but wonder whether the conversation had turned to something else than what was happening on the screen.
He shrugged. “I mean, I can understand not wanting to stay with a human. The Jinn is so much… bigger. So much more. But maybe for Salim, that one night won’t be worth it if that’s all he can get, y’know?” Dean knew he was projecting; at least in the book, he seemed to remember that Salim was perfectly happy the morning after, despite the Jinn being gone. But from what Dean had just witnessed on the screen, he couldn’t for the life of him imagine Salim wanting to let the Jinn go. Not after that. “Like you said, it was…" Dean swallowed, feeling exposed. He wondered if Cas was picking up on what he was really saying. “Beautiful. Seems like a waste to only get one night of that.”
Cas hummed and gave Dean a soft, contemplative gaze. “I thought you weren’t opposed to sexual encounters for one night only.”
“Yeah, but that,” Dean flapped a hand at the screen, where the scene had changed into something else, “that wasn’t just a regular one-night stand. You could tell there was something more between them. Something special.”
“Something like…” Cas paused and seemed to consider his next words. “A profound bond?”
As shocks went, this one was gentle, pushing the air slowly out of Dean instead of punching it out. Nevertheless, the result was the same: He was left breathless.
“Yeah,” he finally said after several long seconds of not managing to utter anything at all. “Yeah, exactly.”
Cas hummed again, and this time a smile lurked at the edge of his mouth. “I disagree with you about the Jinn. I don’t understand how he could want to ever leave Salim. But then… I may be biased.”
“Oh yeah?” Dean summoned the courage to ask. “How so?” The sounds from the TV were mere background noise now, not registering in his mind as anything but a faint buzz. A static in the air between him and Cas – or maybe that was something else he was sensing.
“Out of all of Creation, humans are my favourite beings. And if someone is so lucky as to have a profound bond with one, then I don’t think they would ever really want to leave them.” Cas laid one of his hands facing up on his own knee, next to Dean’s thigh. An invitation.
Accepting it meant moving his hand and revealing just how affected he’d been by the scene, but he couldn’t let this chance slip from him, and he let two of his own fingers touch Cas’s hand. Just that small touch felt much like what he assumed Salim and the Jinn had felt in the scene they’d just watched. “Even if they’re an ancient, powerful being?” he asked, nervous about being so bold and outright with his question even though it was clear by now that they were on the same page.
“Especially then.” Cas’s eyes skimmed across Dean’s erection, but he made no big deal about it; instead he waited patiently as Dean’s fingers slid across his hand until their palms finally met and they were gripping each other. “Humans often don’t see how much they’re worth. But I do. Would you like me to tell you how much you’re worth to me, Dean?”
Dean shook his head; he’d never been good with praise, and besides, he already knew, didn’t he? Knew from all the things Cas had done for him that he would never had done for anyone else. All the things that no other being had ever done for anyone else. “Show me,” he muttered instead, laying a hand on the back of Cas’s neck and leaning in – and Cas leaned in, too – until their foreheads were touching.
And Cas did. On that love nest, Cas showed Dean just how much he was worth to him, worshipping Dean using his lips, his tongue, his penis, and Dean worshipped him right back by offering Cas his body in every way he could. Dean felt as lit up from within as Salim had looked in that scene, and later, when he woke up after a long rest, his ancient, powerful being was still there. And promised to stay there forever.
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