about my letter to Pete Doherty
It’s been a while since I was on tumblr. I just forgot about it tbh.
I noticed that i have issues sharing my feelings with the people who are around me. I know they love me and that they are there for my, but I feel like I am a burden to them. That’s why I don’t often tell people what’s going on in my head. Now there’s something I really want to get off my chest, so I’m just gonna throw this assamblage of wordvomit stuff innto the world.
Two friends of mine have died in the last few months. One of them committed suicide. He was 23 and I’m not gonna talk about him right now. The other one was 21. I love him very much and I miss him to bits. He was an artist, a poet, a hopeless romantic, a tourguide, a legend, my rock and the biggest music lover I know (and that’s insane because almost all my friends are musicians). We lived in different counties, but we managed to stay in contact and become best friends.
He loved the Libertines. He REALLY loved the Libertines. He has seen them for, I don’t know, a million times or something like that. The band knew him as well. The Libertines uploaded a status on their facebookpage about how sad they were to hear the news that he had passed away. Pete dedicated a song to him in Bruxelles as well. I never really listned to the band, but I felt like I needed to go to Pete’s concert in Amsterdam two days ago to thank him so I wrote him this letter:
I hope you receive this letter, it feels quite important to me that you read this.
This letter is my way to thank you for dedicating a song to my best friend whom we both miss. I’m talking about the amazing Hendrik van Dale of course.
I remember the song ''What Katie Did'' — it’s the song I tried to sing along with at Best Kept Secret festival 2015. I met up with Hendrik during the Libertines’ concert. I knew where to find him — right at the front or on top of the crowd haha.
I don’t know your music very well to be completely honest. Actually, I just started listening to it, but I felt like I needed to come to your concert at the Melkweg. For Hendrik, who always encouraged me to listen to you.
I met him two years ago in Amsterdam and kept in close contact with him. I’m glad that he and I became so close, although we didn’t have a lot mutual friends and there was always quite a distance between us, living in different countries.
This often makes me feel like I'm standing alone in processing that I've lost him and I’m having a hard time with that. It feels so unreal sometimes, just like I imagined him — very strange. For example, I met his parents for the first time at his funeral...
I just wanted to thank you for spreading the love for him. This makes me feel so much less alone and inspires me to write songs about him and to find ways to motivate myself to get back on my feet and enjoy life again, even when I have to miss him forever from now on.
I try not to decide how Hendrik would feel about things if he were still here but I think he would be so happy and proud if he saw all this.
I’m glad I came to your show at the Melkweg tonight and that I had the chance to enjoy the Libertines concert at BKS with Hendrik by my side.
It was great to see him so happy and ''at home’’.
I will forever cherish that.
Thank you, thank you, thank you,
PS: I assume you won't, but if you feel like responding, you can find me on Facebook or you can email me’’
I hope he will read this. I just wanted to share this with someone so if you’re reading this, thank you.
janainaart
romaincrisis
origamiaround
titsay
jbbartram-illu
