☆ make bad art ☆

and don't forget your breathing exercises

[cantkeeptalkingtothemoon]

to kill the lover i'd have to kill the poet

first

and let the lion consume the ego

death

i'm afraid you have to eat me whole

alive

and break the cage before i

run

out of luck, my dear, would i

dare

to try your lips for desserts this

time

so i'm retiring from being

a poet

cause i can't be your friend while i am

a lover

hopelessly devoted since that night you

called me yours

even after you switched on me, told myself i knew

even if all is different, it's still me in the wrong

(not you)

yet kept on hoping but choking on every word, that's new

don't know if i can afford losing you when

i love you

i really do

digging my own grave tonight, burying my grace

laying down the poet, the lover and all that is true

so i can try casual

and everything you want me to

hope i'll never find some pieces i'm about to misplace

giving up all hope with a flame from yearn and stars

cause maybe it's not written for me

and maybe never was

heal all for myself, to break those generational cycles clean

i created as i speak

it's ending now, with me

[cantkeeptalkingtothemoon]

zimno

zimniej

płonie koniec

tonę

lód znów rośnie w tamę

wymknę

zamknę

zniknę

odpocznę zanim

zmięknę znów na swoich warunkach

zablokuję

się

skarzę

nie chcę już znać

niepewności

nieformalności okoliczności

odpływ

krwi

niech płynie

żarzy

parzy

krzyczy

tłumi

więcej

więcej

więcej

mnie w tobie

siebie we mnie

wartości

ważności

nie mogę spytać

[cantkeeptalkingtothemoon]

souls don't meet by accident

or so they're saying

yet something inside me

whispers

that ours met before

softly

you're a bit too familiar

tingling

like a pattern i don't know yet

gently

like the sun after storm

surely

despite all the flaws and lacks

steady

am i too early, and if so would you tell me?

divine intervention

timing was supposed to be perfect

years of yearning

long before we were born

i almost dug my own grave once

understanding it was a call from the inside

collected my scattered ashes to get to you

and i would walk this earth again

in every timeline, circumstances, universe

so i could sit with patience i don't really have

to look into your golden-brown-green eyes

at least i have something to write about

yesterday i even prayed for a sign

is it too much to ask or will i receive one?

silent screams into the void

teared-up eyes and bare heart, no soul

it's convinced you called me yours more than once

and i don't know what to listen anymore

[cantkeeptalkingtothemoon]

[cantkeeptalkingtothemoon]

all i know is love

and the love always wins

vulnerability lies on the scattered hands

biting nails, lips and tongue

listening to no one but the inner voice

darling, i know

the night seems dark

but as we go

you'll see

the light was always here, inside you

so there's no need to be

scared for what's beside you

you can easily leave

the cycle breaks as we speak

and im dying to hear

about your day and what colour the sky is

when you really can't sleep

i wanna hear about your childhood dreams

and your nerdy fixations, too

instead of being collected and overdramatic

writing a poem (or two?)

i've seen hell

befriended demons

made it feels like home

never tried to keep them on the leash

fed them with all i got

so now, my love

they're whispering

telling me you also got lost

tell your prayers

do not be afraid

i know those who live in the walls

the silence louder than any sound

thought-consuming scream of nothing

fracturing every part of your soul

but are you really listening?

do not be afraid

cause darling, i can drag you out alive

since the underworld and love

are all i ever known

i'll build the foundations with my bare heart

so you won't have to go

[cantkeeptalkingtothemoon]

żyjemy tak długo jak o nas mówią

nagła zapaść.

i nie wiesz już co u mnie

czy się w końcu obroniłam

i wybrnęłam z ciemności komfortu

i nie wiesz już co u niej

czy dalej codziennie dzwoni do matki po pracy

czy jest szczęśliwa

ja też nie wiem

nie rozmawiamy o tobie

bo jak?

robię co mogę

choć ledwo przeżywam

bo tnie mnie na pół jej cierpienie

wypełniałeś przestrzeń

a jednak zamiast wziąć własne powietrze zabrałeś nasze

i stoisz gdzieś na szafce

i przychodzisz w snach

nawiedzasz niespodziewanie i mącisz dzień

brakuje cię nie tylko od święta

[cantkeeptalkingtothemoon]

do i?

i think i might like you too much

for my own peace, sleep and sanity

i think i might feel too much

wearing my coat of feeling nothing at all

and i worry it might bury me alive

with all those states of uncertainity

and i'm all lightened up

but the winter's so cold in my heart

am i running out of time

or maybe i'm just stuck in my own race

might be crushing my own lungs

with questions a little bit too simple

should i?

do i?

will you?

hope you hear me in every tide

[cantkeeptalkingtothemoon]

not a love poem

and this is the last i'll write about you

(oh gods

help me)

and loving you was a good problem to have

it's just not aching like it used to

you were the sun in my cold coffee

an unspoken promise

that kept me going

and your curls were as soft as a blanket

(we enyojed same cigarettes

even if you weren't a smoker)

you taught me love

redefined it

and even if you're so hard to forget

i don't remember the color of your eyes

and your voice doesn't haunt me anymore

and i hope you don't remember mine

you're my best i'll never know

your absence taught me

the art of letting go

but we're forever gonna be intertwined

cause my soul wouldn't be the same without yours

and every person who loves me, loves you

sometimes i wish you knew

so goodbye, nick miller

seems like it's not our sitcom

but if only multiverse exists

i'm sure i haven't had to leave

i was wandering for so long

searching for a glimpse of you

yet a new journey begun when

i met someone

now i am you

you once were the love of my life

but i buried that person alive

so i could start again

thank you

for making me strong again