Product Placement
titsay
oozey mess
shark vs the universe
Not today Justin
Jules of Nature
Three Goblin Art
wallacepolsom
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Sade Olutola
izzy's playlists!
occasionally subtle
tannertan36
Sweet Seals For You, Always
PR's Tumblrdome
No title available
RMH
blake kathryn
Misplaced Lens Cap
Love Begins
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Germany
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
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seen from Vietnam
seen from Germany
@capitaine-v
whenever i see that post about swapping female characters with male ones in video games i always think about this
finally…men are becoming sluts again
nature is healing
Watching Jojo will have you thinking this just looks normal
kyaa we’re late for the conclave
What to Remember When You’re on a Zoom Call
There is a figure standing behind you. You can see it through your screen. Its hands are on your shoulders and it is speaking to you. Don’t turn around, Don’t acknowledge it. It doesn’t know you are watching.
Tie copper wire around your headphone cords. That will keep out the worst of the hymns. The rest of the chorus you will have to deal with yourself.
If Zoom does not close immediately when you exit, drape a cloth over your device to cover the screen. That will keep it from getting out.
Have a knife at the ready. You never know what manner of thing may try to interrupt your call.
Ward your device with blood or wine, a simple seal on your screen should do. There are always things lurking in the homes of others and you wouldn’t want them crawling through to your side.
Make sure your screen name is a lie. You don’t know what is watching, waiting for you to give it so freely.
Others may join; you don’t recognize them, you’ve never seen them before in your life. Their smile is wide with too many teeth and their eyes are bright and unblinking. Can they just say they are so excited to have been invited to this meeting. Would you mind if they shared something on their screen?
Do. Not. Let. Them.
Be wary of those who become disconnected and come back strange. Check the participants. You won’t find their name on the list.
You can try to remove them from the meeting but they will notice and their eyes will meet yours through the monitor. You may notice the lag before you cut out or you may not. Either way, you’ve been disconnected and there is something breathing on your neck.
Oh my God, it’s pandemic Zoom gothic, I love this ridiculous site.
peaky blinders (2013 -) odd nerdrum, no witness (2011) angela carter, the magic toyshop (1967)
i am obsessed with the comments on recipe sites
Inktober Digital Illustrations by Andréa Boloch
french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you
italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house
american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked
chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void.
English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy
Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.
Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie
Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts
Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it.
Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three
Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT.
Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries’ cuisines AND neuroses.
Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so gl
ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion.
internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister’s third birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown.
West african recipes: Hot pepper. Rice - listen Just go to the wedding or funeral you’ll bring enough food home to feed you till the next wedding or funeral. Auntie makes it better than you.
Southern US Recipes: Fry it. Collet Green. Serve with tonic. Pray.
Ukrainian recipes: more potatoes and garlic. Dammit I said more. More! Whatever, your grandmother makes it better and you can get leftovers from her house
What if we lived in a world where giant cats and dogs roamed the earth?
There’s even more pictures, from the second page of the link:
Never before have I so deeply wanted to live in the world of someone’s artwork. Those pictures with the human just burying their entire upper body in the floof, they speak to me on a spiritual level.
I really respect the guy that just keeps faceplanting all of the softest looking creatures. Same, dude. same.
OH MY GOSH IT’S ADORABLE
Face plant dudes are mood
Tommy Shelby be like “I know I place” and then he takes you next to a canal and fucks you while he thinks about another woman.
John Shelby be like ‘I know a place’ and then take you back home to his fifteen thousand fucking kids.
Arthur Shelby be like ‘l know a place’ and then take you to the fighting ring to help him kill himself.
Finn Shelby be like ‘I know a place’ and then take you to the place his brother took from the frightened mother of a kid he murdered.
Tatiana be like ‘I know a place’ and then take you to a Russian orgy.
Isiah Jesus be like ‘I know a place’ then takes you to the church and fucks you in the confessional.
Michael Gray be like “I know a place” then takes to an abortion clinic.
IT IS GETTING WORSE
Freddie Thorne be like “I know a place” and then takes you to a communist gathering
Esme Shelby be like “I know a place” and then takes you to a farm to raise chickens.
Ada Thorne be like ‘I know a place’ and then takes you to a library in London.
Alfie Solomons be like “I know a place” and then takes you to Margate.
Grace Burgess be like ‘I know a place’ and then takes you to The Garrison and sings a shitty song.
Gina Gray be like “I know a place” and then takes you to the holy feet of the Statue of Liberty.
Bonnie Gold be like “I know a place” and then takes you to the forest to watch him fight a tree.
from this point forward I want all my series rundowns to come in “I know a place form” I love you guys so damn much.
New subculture:
Cowgoth. We dress like cowboys but in all black and we don’t listen to anything but classic country songs about murder.
This is just the Johnny Cash fandom.
| rdr2 hoe groups: explained 💦|
arthur hoes:
the softest and most emotionally traumatised group of people you’ll ever meet
they haven’t seen sunlight in the last 3 months
only surviving on caffeine and pizza bagels
their boah has better eating and sleeping habits than them
also they’re…c o n fu sed??
one second they want to give their boah ALL THE AFFECTION AND FLUFF HE DESERVES
and the next,, they give into their ape-brain
big hands?? wide shoulders??? strong muscles????! will protect future offspring uwu
they’ll ride him into the sunset
“it’s. what. he. DESERVES.”
So. Much. uwu
but they’re a literal mess
“R* YOU GODDAMN COWARDS”
*pterodactyl screaming*
secretly imagines themselves being Arthur’s future s/o in an alternative universe where he gets his happy ending ♥️♥️
a bunch of moronsexuals
dutch hoes a.k.a manghoes:
the biggest masochists on the planet
they’re only goal in life is to be choked to death by dutch and his r i n gss
btw they KNOW yall are laughing at them, and guess what? they’re laughing with you
professional shitposters
it’s a god-given talent hones t ly
so many farming lingos??
people often think they’re actually talking about agriculture
they’re not.
THEY traumatise OTHERS
just like canon dutch
they take the hand fetish to the EXTREME
just a literal cluster of pillow princesses that want to be spoiled by their daddy dutch
did i say they’re huge on the daddy kink?
but to sum it all, these people are always in a dilemma whether to punch Dutch in the face or suck his di-
lana Del rey sugar baby syndrome
“city bois use fleshlights, country men use mangoes 👌👌💦💦”
you can’t hate them. it’s impossible.
john hoes:
most kinkiest mfs ive ever seen
raccoonsexual
grease?
grease.
“more grease means more lubrication-”
all about that greasy butthole
these people can and will give others cholesterol just by a collective s t are
they exude major TOP energy
the alpha hoes
[john hoes: *serves up a serving of freshly milked nut from johns balls* COME GET YALL JUICE]
^an actual post i encountered on twitter
they’re down for a threesome with his wife too
-99999999 shame
fucking EXTRA, like that extra dripping tomato sauce you get in your burger that creATeS a MESS evERYwHeRe
these hoes literally hiss if you diss their raccoon
don’t throw hands at them
cuz they will win
micah hoes:
honestly, brave soldiers
they write the best smut, to others dismay
but like??? you have to dig deep to find them??
they lurk in the dark
afraid to get ostracised by the entire fandom
no one can understand them
“Micah’s a rat but he’s our dirty rat boi”
hoarders of a lot of pet rat pictures
ironically, they’re the sweetest hoes out there
despite them thirsting over the biggest asshole in the entire universe
obsessing over Micah’s belly button is their top priority
they are an ENIGMA
they truly believe that sum fuk would prevent the biggest d-bag to stop being the biggest d-bag
javier hoes:
tbh they’re the most normal out of all the rdr2 hoes
they just want to sit around the campfire and fall asleep to Javier’s music and his sweet singing❤️❤️❤️
knife kink. that’s all.
they like to imagine themselves singing to Javier’s guitar
ugh,,so pure???
11/10 will learn Spanish just to communicate with a fictional cowboy
they hate canon the most
mostly because r* didn’t give enough content for their boi
99% chance will call you a sheepfucker if you disagree with them
they’re smol
they’re angreh
and will fite u
uncle hoes a.k.a lumbaghoes:
literally the joke of the fandom
most hoe for uncle as a joke,,
but there are some that legitemetly thirst for him and it scares the s H it out of the fandom
cannot be trusted
cuz they’re lumbagosexual
they’re U N P R E D I C T A B L E
you don’t know where they ARE or where they COME FROM
they just APPEAR on blogs as ANONS
the baba yaga of the fandom
“you better watch out. you better waTCH ouT. you beTTeR WATch OUT. you bettER WATCH OUT.”
but when they do appear they enter with the most extravagantly thirsty entrance ever in known history
and they leave people s H O O k
*poof*
then they disappear, leaving people traumatised with their amazingly descriptive thirsty anon asks
she really said i’m gonna attack y’all with my smile huh………
sEND HELP
THE WITCHER (2019– ) I SHREK 2 (2004)
Laughing my ass off at these reactions to this poster, mostly because I feel the exact same way ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I regret to inform you that despite the appearance of the poster, this is NOT a sexy period drama romance about a man getting pegged.
twitter's reaction to Cordelia could be a Yuletide fandom, guys, there's still time.
What Women Want, according to the first 10 minutes of The Old Guard:
- cool sunglasses
- to be called "boss"
- big snuggly hugs from guys who are not romantically interested in you
- baklava
- an axe
When that disgusting season they call summer finally ends and you start feeling that sweet sweet autumn chill in the air
