CAPTAINCRAB

hola.

[bajn]

on this day one year ago someone sewed a fried egg to a tshirt

[catboycrimsonrain]

on this day two years ago someone sewed a fried egg to a shirt

[deletedbyebye-deactivated202106]

on this day three years ago someone sewed a fried egg to a shirt

[captaincrab]

on this day four years ago someone sewed a fried egg to a shirt

[frankoceanvevo]

[911official-deactivated20200526]

customer service

[meladoodle]

Jared Leto: *making out with a dead fish* You sure this is gonna be in the final edit? 

Director: Haaha… yes… definitely… 

[tastefullyoffensive]

[monmatch]

[milliads]

Same with “Enjoy your movie!”

[captaincrab]

When I hear police sirens getting closer

Me, a homebody who never does anything illegal: They found me.

[officialunitedstates]

Hey, officialunitedstates, could you give me a brief history lesson on 1880-1920?

[pandora]

writing “sorry” at the bottom of your math test

[penguintim]

[carudamon119]

[dragoncuspid]

why he do dat

[peekachiu-deactivated20210214]

he checking if too hot

[captcreate-deactivated20251226]

thank

[atheismwethinkmore]

[vegyta-deactivated20181007]

U ever juss…wanna hide ur face in someone’s neck and …. Sleep

the signs as 50 shades of grey quotes

Aries: “Welcome,” he said, shoving my hair hard, “to the butt room.”

Taurus: “No way,” I cried out orgasmically. “No way, no way, no way.”

Gemini: “When I woke up Christian Grey had somehow gotten an entire orange into my mouth.”

Cancer: “Say it,” he commanded. “Yankity Spankity.” “Louder.”

Leo: “He gently handcuffed me to the parking meter. “Bye.”

Virgo: “The helicopter was built for sex, I observed sexily. You could lie across the seats or recline them.”

Libra: “Christian Grey picked up the long black thing and started working my zone. It was bananas.”

Scorpio: “The sex feelings flooded my body like a charging herd of itty, bitty elephants. We’re talking small.”

Sagittarius: “Do I afraid you?” Christian Grey asked, licking his eyebrow.”

Capricorn: “It’s a Murphy Bed,” he explained. “Maybe one day we could leave it up and have sex in the walls.”

Aquarius: “Christian Grey mashed on my area with the meat of his hand. “Do you like that, you woman?”

Pisces: “Hey,” I asked “Didn’t you used to be a vampire?”

Source: [x]

[wholedonut]

THERE IS NO WAY ANY OF THESE ARE REAL IM SO MAD

[usobukii-deactivated20170126]

these are actually real that’s honestly just how bad the book is

[captaincrab]

Bucky: murders 9 people

Steve: :')

[parkistan]

Throwback to this iconic tweet

[bando--grand-scamyon]

🤔🤔🤔🤔

[kateordie]

It pretty much boils down to “I never had to think about it until it affected me personally”

[shenanigans-of-a-young-person]

Seasonal Fashion 🍂

[octillionbees]

Thomas: In the winter, I like to dress in a cozy black jacket, shirt, and jeans

Thomas: In the summer I wear…

Thomas: The same thing ‘cuz I look good in black and I’m willing to suffer

[no-gods-no-masters-00-deactivat]

Dear heavily tattooed people

If I’m staring at you it’s not because I’m judging you I’m just trying to check out your ink.