wetzel’s pretzels

mikey // capricorn // he/they // INFP // 25 //

[machinot]

bad news for chocolate lovers: amid massive corporate downsizing, Lindt has had to euthanize 2,000 of its handsome european chocolate chefs . an additional 1,300 will be thrown out in the cold with nothing but their stupid Fucking whisks

[tonyzaret]

As seen on “Reddit” site

[cannibalchicken]

[rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrru-deacti]

we’reくコ:彡 entering squid territory

 くコ:彡                                                                       くコ:彡                              くコ:彡  くコ:彡                                                        くコ:彡                           くコ:彡 くコ:彡

[squided]

I know I’m following the right people when I see this kinda stuff on my dash

[deathishauntedbyhumans]

@setepenre-set

[setepenre-set]

now C:≡ approaching octopus territory

C:≡                                                           C:≡                               C:≡      C:≡                                              C:≡                         C:≡

C:≡                                 C:≡      

[setepenre-set]

onwards C{≡ to jellyfish territory

C{≡             C{≡

                                          C{≡               C{≡                                                     C{≡                         C{≡ C{≡                                 C{≡

[winterbyn]

oh! you’ve found some isopods! look at them go!

                                          }([[[[)

              }([[[[)                        

                            }([[[[)                         }([[[[)

}([[[[)                                 }([[[[)

[theanti90smovement]

my dad was all up in arms earlier cos he saw a story on the news about a musical in boston that’s a comedic parody of the titanic movie and he was all like “that’s disgusting!! are people going to be making fun of 9/11 in 100 years?!?!” and i didn’t have the heart to tell him people already do

[corsolanite]

Today is a national holiday!  On this day, Mewtwo was born. Happy birthday Mewtwo!

[stand-up-gifs]

Taylor Swift bravely standing up for the right of billionaires to destroy public information. (link here)

[best-of-inspirobot]

[Your vagina is average]

[thyrell]

[maxknightley]

do you think, for a potato chip, being dipped in an onion-based condiment is like seeing an old friend for the first time in years, both of you fundamentally changed and soon destined to die but nonetheless still here in this moment?

[itshebitchyspider-deactivated20]

Why would a potato and an onion be friends?

[maxknightley]

they grew up together! they're from the same neighborhood!! (underground)

[guerrillatech]

[glasswhistles]

MLK was a star trek fan

[lieutenant-sappho]

[namek-deactivated20190919]

today you, tomorrow me.

[jhasablogagain-blog]

[damazcuz]

stop scrolling. leans in. SNIFFFFF SNF SNF SNF SNIIIFF SNIF SNIOF SNIF SNIF SNIF SNIF SNIF SNIF SNIF SNIF SNIF SNIF SNIF SNIF SNIF SNIF SNIF. ok you may pass.

[vera-lycaon]

[geek-ramblings]

John Oliver Just Found A 'F**king Creepy' But Legal Way To Blackmail Lawmakers

The "Last Week Tonight" host suggested he has some really weird dirt about certain members of Congress.

Dude this is so f*cking briliant.  To basically get Congress to realize how f*cked up data privacy laws are. He did data mining, targeted men over 45 that are within 5 miles of the US capital, and put ads out including “do you want to read Ted Cruise fanfiction”. it looks like 100s clicked it including 3 that seemed to be in the capital building while doing so, which then means he has their device info, ip address etc. which he can then mine even more. 

[wisteria-wolf]

How can you mention the ted cruz ad and not include what the ad they clicked on looks like? Anyways, here it is:

[zz9pzza]

https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Ted%20Cruz/works

[shinelikethunder]

“If you’re thinking, ‘How on Earth is any of this legal?’ I totally agree with you. It shouldn’t be,” he said. “And if you happen to be a legislator who is feeling a little nervous right now about whether your information is in this envelope, and if you’re terrified about what I might do with it, you might want to channel that worry into making sure that I can’t do anything.” Then, he cheerfully concluded: “Anyway, sleep well!”

[cosmicretreat]

[girlnephew]

[alicesdreamyblog-deactivated202]

Average twitter interaction

[girlnephew]

girl what the fuck are you on about

[alicesdreamyblog-deactivated202]

You‘re old enough to not use such language at something you could’ve ignored

[girlnephew]

#pink pilates princess

[genderfluid-druid]

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

[genderfluid-druid]

"i require more fluids" well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.