The day of You’s swim meet had arrived, and Yoshiko was sitting in the stands, having come with five other girls; not seven like previously expected. It was certainly a bit of a surprise when both Chika and Riko (and You too, though she just had to leave earlier than everyone else for some preparations and practice) were missing when Aqours met up at the train station earlier. They were You’s closest friends, after all… it was unlike them to do something like that. Yoshiko took it upon herself earlier to text Chika and ask where she was since nobody else heard from her that morning. She took out her phone, rereading the conversation they had.
Fallen Angel Yohane: [ Where are you? Riko too… Everyone else is at the train station and we’re all about to leave. You was looking forward to seeing you today… ]
Chika Takami: [ Oh, ehe… Actually, Riko-chan ended up getting sick, so I gotta take care of her! We’re reeeeally sorry! Tell You-chan that I’ll definitely make it up to her! I wish her the best of luck <3 Thanks, Yoshiko-chan! ]
Yoshiko paused her reading, rolling her eyes. She got that Riko’s health was important, and that she and Chika were neighbors, but still… She was feeling really bad for You. She had something planned for later, didn’t she? She just hoped that You wouldn’t let this upset her too much. But even now, she couldn’t help but feel annoyed at Chika. Why couldn’t she understand how much she meant to You?
Fallen Angel Yohane: [ It’s YOHANE ]
Fallen Angel Yohane: [ And you’d better make it up to her. Just make sure Riko feels better soon, at least ]
She sighed as she slipped her phone back into her pocket, and her friends seemed to notice that she looked a little upset. “Yoshiko-chan, what’s wrong, zura?” Hanamaru asked. Yoshiko barely had time to react before a pair of hands grabbed her shoulders, squeezing a little too hard. “Yoshiko-chaaaan, it’s such a SHINY day! Even if a couple of us are missing, we still need to support our You-chan and have lots of fun~” Mari got closer, something that seemed to annoy Dia as she pried the blonde off of Yoshiko. “Mari-san, get off of her. Can’t you be still for more than five minutes?” She was already missing the extra help from Kanan, who had long separated from the group and moved closer to the front to get a better view of the match.
Ruby watched everything silently, only speaking up once everyone calmed down. “M-Mari-chan is right… We still have most of Aqours here, don’t we? It’s a shame that Riko-chan got sick, but You-chan wouldn’t want to see you upset… She wants us to have fun.” She offered Yoshiko a small smile.
“R-Right… I guess so.” Yoshiko looked away, gazing out at the pool. It was a nice day, after all. She didn’t want to let anything bother her, and she wanted to support You in every way she could. She needed to be happy for her. She couldn’t be selfish.
There were five main components that made up the scoring of a dive. You had memorized them years ago, drilled into her by coaches and trainers to the point that she could recite them backwards and forwards. Quickly retying her hair up into her swim cap, those five criteria should have been the only things on her mind. Anything else was a distraction that would lead to mistakes.
In some ways, there were a lot of similarities between diving and performing as an idol. You didn’t consider herself a particularly intelligent person, so she wasn’t sure she could pinpoint it exactly, but surely there were technical qualities to singing and dancing as well. It was why two voices could sound so perfect when pitched harmonically, but why even one just slightly out-of-step produced something so dissonant and ugly.
But in other ways, her two hobbies couldn’t be more different. Performing was all about expression. Onstage, You poured her entire heart into each step and every hitch of vibrato in her voice. Technical proficiency was still important, naturally, but heart and passion were just as necessary. Diving... wasn’t like that at all. That wasn’t to say that You didn’t love it; she did. But, from the moments where she began to ascend the ladder to the board to when she broke through the water, diving was about perfection. It was the only place where she could feel like that. She was an average, ordinary girl from an average, ordinary town, with average, ordinary grades and an average, ordinary life. Even in Aqours, she was only average. Not the best singer, nor the best dancer, not the cutest, nor the most beautiful. Average.
“You Watanabe, Uranohoshi Girl’s School 2nd Year. First Dive.”
It was only natural that she felt that way. Diving had been her passion since childhood, while being a school idol had only happened in the past year. It was a learned love, born from... well, born from a love of her best friend, and a desire to do something together with her. Something that was theirs, something they could share and look back on together.
Her steps were slower than usual, and shakier. Poor form brought on by overthinking.
But then Riko had joined, and then the first years. Everything frenzied, writing songs, sewing costumes, planning shows. It had gone so much faster than You could have ever expected, and her hopes and dreams of something small and intimate were dashed before they were even fully-formed.
The board was already slick from those that had come before, and she nearly slipped as she shifted her weight and bounced the board, having to flail her hands to correct herself before she jumped.
She could never begrudge them their success. If nothing else, then her friends deserved as large a platform as possible to shine as brightly as she knew they could. Big personalities like Mari, Yoshiko, and Chika deserved to be seen and heard by everyone. Hard workers like Kanan, Dia, and Riko deserved recognition and respect. Even Hanamaru and Ruby, quiet and well-behaved girls who would never push for stardom, deserved to have their special unique qualities recognized. Yet, Aqours’ ascension, further complicated by the danger to the school, brought stress. They were supposed to rely on each other, nine voices and nine hearts together, but there was only one heart that beat in-sync with Chika’s, only one voice that she wanted to hear when she was at her lowest. And it wasn’t You’s anymore.
She didn’t get enough height. Whether she’d mis-timed her jump, or her positioning had been off, she wasn’t sure, but You knew she was lacking. She definitely couldn’t complete her scheduled motions in the time she had, so she’d need to remove a rotation or a twist in order to land it.
You had always been a support-type person. She was the girl with a shoulder to cry on, or kind words to reassure, or a silly joke to cut the tension. Where had she lost her touch? She knew what she could do, so when had it all gone wrong? Things that had always been so easy for her now seemed out of reach, and when she fell short in pursuit, it left her in a worse place than she’d been when she’d started. The most important relationship in her life felt like it was falling apart before her eyes, and she had no control.
No, she could still land it. She could still land it if she was perfect. She was athletic and limber, and months of dance practice had to have made her better... But her body refused to move the way she wanted it to, refused to break the laws of physics for her benefit. She was running out of time, unless she could-
She hit the water flat on her stomach, having under-rotated. It hurt, of course, but her knee felt worse than her chest. Face-down in the water, she took a few moments to collect herself. If her face was soaked, it wouldn’t look like she was crying, right? At least with Chika absent, You didn’t have to worry about her best friend seeing such an abject failure.
Slowly, she swam over to the side, dredging herself up out of the pool and feeling like pondscum as she limped back to the line for the second flight of dives. She didn’t bother looking at the five-judge panel, and the ringing in her ears mercifully kept the announced score from her. Whatever it was, it wasn’t good enough.
Just like she wasn’t good enough.
