“you asked me to be honest, zarina. weren’t you the one that told me to treat you like an equal to me? well, look what that brought us.” hook held onto his jacket tightly, trying to give his hands something to do. no matter what he said nothing he felt like nothing seemed to stick to her, desperate to put distance between them once again. “stop. honestly, just stop. you’re doing it again, zarina.” knuckles cracking at the force he was exerting, walking down the alleyway trying to clear his brain. “I WANTED TO TALK. i wanted to make things right, to explain everything.”
James laughed at it all, feeling tired and drowsy, even bored with the conversation. “you already fucked off, hendricks. you fucked right off and didn’t even give me a chance to say sorry, so don’t come here acting all mighty.” he scoffed, brushing his hair back. “i’m not going to say i wouldn’t do it away, because that’d be lying. the person i was in that time, and the person i am today are two completely different entities.” leaning against a wall, a couple of meters away from zarina but close enough for her to hear him.
“but listen to your own words, cap. listen to your own fucken words. you asked me for truth, and i lied, but now you say that i should of just lied?” tilting his head back against the brick to look up at the sky, a hollow laugh escaping him. “please, i might of let you down but you’re still here. you miss me. you crave my presence anyway you can get it.”
“if you truly were done with me you wouldn’t of walked after me, and yet you did.”
“yeah and you had every chance to be fucking honest for over a year and now? NOW you choose to tell the truth? god dammit, james,” she cursed, wanting him to feel the pain that she couldn’t escape from... the pain that he had caused. “you’re doing it again, you’re blaming it all on me? you’re getting pissed that i left after i found out what you did to me? that wasn’t equal, that was manipulation and i could spell it out in ten different languages but you still couldn’t get this pressed into your thick skull.” the sound of his hands couldn’t make a dent in her brain with how angry he was getting. “yeah, RIGHT AFTER you told me the truth, how the fuck was i supposed to listen when you don’t care about me?”
“don’t you dare fucking call me that,” she said, all the wind in her body nearly leaving. zarina could feel herself slipping, wanting to grasp for air and in the process reach him. “don’t,” she shouted, anger bubbling up. “you could’ve led with sorry but you didn’t, you had so many chances to come clean but you chose then to do it?” she couldn’t believe her ears, “you keep fucking with my head,” she stormed over to him, “why? why do you keep torturing me with your fucked up words?” she laughed, that was rich coming from him, “are you joking? i don’t even know who you are. you kept me at arms length, demanding everything from me and giving nothing back in return. i don’t know anything about you, you’re a stranger.”
his words left her silent, the anger leaving her body but remaining her eyes, but this time it wasn’t directed towards him. she was angry at herself and being called out on it certainly didn’t help. “you’re doing it again, stop thinking you’re better than me! even if i wanted to come back, even after i begged for you to give me a chance and to be equal, i never will be. you won’t ever let me forget this, you won’t ever let me live anything down. that’s why you always mention the accident right? and my friends, who by the way –– never left me. you won’t let me forget them so i stay with you. how could i miss someone that did that to me?”
“just because i wanted answers doesn’t mean i care for you in anyway.”
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