You ever have a compliment that just sticks with you for literal years and years? Maybe forever?
For me, itās when I was working as a figure model for art classes at my university (because it paid well due to being an early-morning thing and was easy to get because nobody else wanted to apply due to the near-nakedness and pervasive body image issues in our culture). There was this one professor who was always so happy when I showed up as the female model for that day because he said that I had aĀ āgood sense of motionā, and it was fun to draw. (Which, in itself, was a great compliment because I am a clumsy, self conscious person.)
But what really got me was one day we were doing 15-minute poses, which are harder to do because you need to come up with something interesting and dynamic, but you have to be able to hold it for a quarter of an hour without moving even a little bit. They didnāt have any specific guidance for us, so I justā¦ did something. Idk. But about five minutes into wandering around helping the students and talking to them, he paused and told me that I was doing a good job, and,Ā āWhat a fun pose. Youāre reminding me of RodināsĀ āEve,ā there. You always have a very Rodin sort of energy about you. Thanks for waking up early for us.ā And then just went back to discussing the use of ink with one of the students like he hadnāt almost reduced me to tears.
Then I went home and looked up RodināsĀ āEveā and was blown away because she actually did look like me? I had ended up in that pose almost exactly just by chance, but she also had a soft, squidgy tummy and the hip dips and weird butt and big feet and thunder thighs and strong calves, just like me.
And I donāt have a great relationship with my body. Very much the opposite. I frequently hate the way I look and fit into it, but then occasionally from the depths of the past comes the voice of an art nerd telling me Iām like a Rodin sculpture, and I feel like,Ā āYeah, I have Rodin Energy so suck it, brain!ā And it helps me reframe the way Iām thinking about myself because I can get outside of my head for a minute and see that while Iām frustrated with my body, it has an art to it just by existing. Soft tummy? Fun to draw, nice curves! Big thighs? Strong lines! Dimples and wrinkles and slopes become a place for light to sit. Bodies are so cool, and that includes mine! Even if itās not quite what I want it to be, itās still a work of art that nature sculpted just for me.
And for him it just seemed like such an off-handed, normal, natural thing to say. He thoughtĀ āHey, that looks like Rodin,ā and so he said it.
Justā¦ Idk. Compliment people. Say whatās on your mind. You have no idea whether itās going to totally change a personās life. Itās just words to you but it could be really, deeply important to them.
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