Then we all go out for ice cream and strippers

https://linktr.ee/CaptPerfectHair

[jesperf]

Jim, this simple feeling is beyond V’Ger’s comprehension. No meaning. No hope. And Jim, no answers. It’s asking questions. What questions? “Is this all that I am?” “Is there nothing more?”     

[sandboxpyramid]

new life, new civilizations, new dogs to pet

[lesserjoke]

Things that sound fake but actually happen in the first Tarzan novel (1912)

Tarzan grows up in the jungle because the sailors on his parents’ ship mutiny and maroon them there. Two decades later, the sailors on his cousin’s ship ALSO mutiny and maroon him and Jane in the exact same area where Tarzan happens to live

He’s raised by apes after his parents die because one of them who’s been carrying around her own dead baby is moved by the maternal spirit to drop its corpse in Tarzan’s crib and pick up the human baby instead

Tarzan teaches himself how to read and write fluent English by reading his parents’ old books

He later leaves Jane and co. really passive-aggressive notes telling them that he’s Tarzan and they better not touch his stuff

Tarzan also rescues them from various jungle troubles in person, but he can’t communicate with them because he can’t speak/understand spoken English

Jane and her friends spend their entire time in the jungle thinking that there are TWO DIFFERENT people who keep saving them: their reclusive host who leaves them salty messages and signs his name Tarzan of the Apes and then that other guy who lives with the apes

Literally they never put two and two together until Tarzan tracks them down in America and tells them he was Tarzan all along

Which he does in French

Because back in the jungle he rescued a French guy who taught him how to speak that language

So Tarzan can read and write English but speaks only French by the time he leaves the jungle

Jane goes back to America while Tarzan is off helping his French friend, and he follows her all the way home just to arrive the day before she’s gonna marry a rich guy to cover her father’s debts. It’s literally one of those Taylor Swift STOP THE WEDDING tropes, but with this weirdly buff ape man yelling in French instead

Jane’s father has debts because he borrowed a ton of money to charter a ship and follow a pirate treasure map he found, which, logical. We’ve all been there

The sailors on that ship are the ones who mutiny and maroon Jane earlier on, after finding the treasure and deciding they want to keep it for themselves

But Tarzan sees them rebury the chest and he digs it up and takes it with him to America to find Jane. The sailors are later very confused when they go back and find the treasure missing

Meanwhile Tarzan’s friend keeps trying to convince him that he’s the son of those two adult skeletons in his cabin, but Tarzan is all like, nah, I’m pretty sure that baby ape skeleton in the crib was theirs.

Oh also yeah, Tarzan totally just left all three skeletons lying around until his human friends showed up and were like, boy, you’re nasty

Also Tarzan needs a lot of convincing to believe that his ape foster mom wasn’t his birth mother

Like an absurd amount of convincing, really

His friend finally proves it by dragging Tarzan to a fingerprint expert in Europe to compare his prints to the baby ones that his dad fortuitously recorded in his journal just before he died.

The fingerprint proof means he’s actually the heir to his family’s title and wealth instead of his cousin, but he decides not to tell Jane about it

Because after Tarzan interrupts her wedding plans and gives her the pirate treasure (so that she doesn’t have to marry the rich guy), she turns down Tarzan’s own proposal and agrees to marry his cousin instead

And he’s like, alright, and leaves

Truly one of the great love stories of our time

I think she does change her mind and marry him in one of the sequels, but there are literally over two dozen of those that by all accounts are even weirder than this one and I just honestly don’t think I’m ready

[owenburnett]

Star Trek: TOS 1.18, Arena

[shamblingshitpickle-deactivated]

PSA: journalists aren’t supposed to put names in the headlines if the person isn’t a public figure. It’s not a matter of maliciously not giving credit

[orson-bigdaddy-krennic]

^^^as a journalist, this is something that bothers me ALL THE TIME

[thalassarche]

A friend of mine on Twitter explained this the other day, so to elaborate based on what she said: If the name is not instantly recognizable the way a public figure is, then putting the name in the headline isn’t going to bring about any sort of recognition or connection in the reader, and doesn’t do much to draw the reader into the story. But something like “local teen” does create a connection by tying the person into the community, and encourages the reader to learn more about what this local teen has done. The name will be in the article itself, after the headline has done its job at getting the reader to look into it.

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

It’s worth noting too that usually, according to the Inverted Pyramid writing style used for journalism where the most important information is shared first, the person’s name is usually in the first sentence of the first paragraph.

Whenever I see someone get up at arms over a headline that says “Local Teen” and the first comment is “SAY THEIR NAME” I’m always like “hey, thanks for telling every journalist present that you don’t read articles and just skim headlines.” Really makes us feel appreciated.

[zandorv]

I think this Onion headline illustrates the point pretty well

[authorbrandondion]

[leareymauzaize]

borzois are love

[laguerradelasgalaxias]

Much Ado About Nothing (1993) dir. Kenneth Branagh

[evankart]

Lifemodel drawings

[blogmoderne]

[make--it--gayer]

[ayrennaranaaldmeri]

sure y’all can say “dragon age: don’t trust the apostate!!” but andy pandy blew up a church and scrambled egghead wants to tear down the veil whereas morrigan saved alistair/loghain AND your ungrateful warden ass from death and after that did nothing that even warrants her being roped in the same category as these two.

[dappermouth]

would you rather be murdered by a geologist or a biologist

Ideally? they’d both set aside their differences and come together to murder me as a team.

[heartmindalignedspirit]

I don’t know why I love drawings of the heavens from the 1800s

[dappermouth]

It’s the strangest summer you can remember–the pool shed is haunted, the nights stretch forever.

[static-warp-bubble]

This little thing? Just something I slipped on.

[acecroft]

Is there anything you would not do for your family? Star Trek: Into Darkness (2013) dir. J.J. Abrams