Goddamn

This is how the inside of my brain works.

[kornakus]

When the whole squad looks good

[itskyalenotkyle]

Dance to anything

[314eater]

today is the only day you can reblog this

[d-e-l-ete-d-deactivated20181014]

Tumblr in a nutshell

[defcon-fuck]

Says the person who jokes about stealing dogs.

[d-e-l-ete-d-deactivated20181014]

Feeding a dog human remains is funny to you but making a joke about stealing a dog isn’t. Intresting.

[d-e-l-ete-d-deactivated20181014]

Kidnapping humans much more halarious i assume?…

[marelorne]

I find all of these funny.

I have such a morbid senae of humor. Probably doesn’t help that I enjoy a good game of Cards against Humanity.

[d-e-l-ete-d-deactivated20181014]

They are funny ..so is this gem…

[teatoppy]

Got that ass💀💀

[iputthejeningenesis]

Y E S

SNATCH HER

[mariposa-nena-deactivated201911]

[little-yogi]

[ruinedchildhood]

OHMYGOD 😂😂😂😂😂

[purplelittlemermaid]

😂

[2pacsauntie]

She actually took a picture of him and sent it to him lmfaoooo I’m dead 😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀

[pettylifepresident]

Me as a parent

[meezumaki]

[vengeancect]

[animalsinraingear]

[hustlerose]

anon hate

dismissive reply 

[deliriousnes]

[blairwaldorfings]

[the-owl-faced-girl]

I just want to yell so many good things about Britney Spears. Look at this parenting right here; rather than just twist their arms and tell the ‘smile or no McFlurry on the drive home’ she’s checking if her little boys are comfortable with the cameras and attention and if not, no problem baby boy, you go chill. And I have no problem with her staying to get more pictures, especially not when her other adorable kid wants to.  I mean, it’s her job up to a point. And we all know for a fact she probably watched the film with both the little bugs in her lap anyway. 

Considering what she dealt with and went through in front of paps….god, I love her. 

[plotwitch]

people can say what they want about her supposed meltdown, but frankly, that entire ‘episode’ always made perfect sense to me. she and i are of an age, and no matter how young or old i was, i always understood perfectly why she did it, and thought it was utter bullshit that a court could order what they did, instead of reprimanding the many, many people that felt so entitled to her that they drove her to extremes just to get 5 seconds of peace.

and now seeing this kind of thing? she has just gotten more awesome.

[faedreamer-deactivated20180128]

i remember reading how she got herself a tutor so she could help her kids with their homework. not got THEM a tutor, but she got herself one because she wanted to be the one helping them. that’s a+++ parenting right there ok?

[papi-chulo-bucky]

This makes me so happy :’)

[latining]

She got a court order because she was, by her own admission, raising her kids like her mother raised her. The judge sent her to therapy and parenting classes to work out all of the horrible stage-mother bullshit she had to live through. I mean, she thought it was normal to give her kids cough syrup and whiskey so they’d sleep, because it’s what her mother gave her to knock her out when she got rowdy.

I think Britney is a great role model for adult abused children and is living proof that you are not trapped in the cycle of abuse.

[terror-billie]

The purest 90s kid experience is being so happy for Britney Spears in her new life

[missingsleeep]

[pandaaamonium14]

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[skrillcholas-cage]

oh my god these are great

[princemetalthunder]

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes

[neverthere12345]

Reblog If You Can Take Off Your Bra Without Taking Your Shirt Off.

[50eathaters]

    Girl’s are amazing

[kerameikos]

I think we broke the notes…

[mis-c3l-la-neous]

i feel like i’m reblogging history. “the post that broke the notes”

[okayilubuhbye-deactivated201611]

THERE ARE NO FUCKING NOTES

WE HAVE REACHED INFINITY

[junabug-deactivated20181015]

what the heLL

[yay-someoneactually]

Um….guys….

There are negative notes….

WHY ARE THERE NEGATIVE NOTES?

HOW ARE THERE NEGATIVE NOTES?!?!?!?!

[dellbby]

Its in the black hole of tumblr

[demonsmademefat-blog]

At time of reblogging, this post has 1 note :’)

[septicmackiplier]

Uhm nothing was there then I hit the heart and 1 note popped up.. Guys I’m scared..

[my-name-is-really-neil-mcneil]

it has reset to 0 notes. what have you done?

[heygodsmoved-blog]

now it’s floating in the middle of the thingy

[ruled-by-jupiter]

EVERY DAMN TIME

[failedspidermankisses]

There’s literally nothing there. 

What is this? 

[mahaliciously]

I couldn’t scroll past this. I need to be part of history for this. There are no notes do you even realise

[altweeb-blog]

Let it be known I was here on this day of march twentieth twenty sixteen and I’m laying in bed at nine thirty am

[i-am-loco]

WOO NO NOTES PARTYYY

[im-in-hell-fr]

WTF IS THIS?!?! IM CONFUSED NO NOTES WUT DA ACTUAL FUCK

[humanityinahandbag]

I LIKED IT AND IT HAD ONE NOTE.

ONE.

NOTE.

[animationnut]

Oh wow there are seriously no notes..

What the heck.

[knightnicole]

OH MY GOSH IT’S TRUE. There were 0 notes, now i liked and just one note popped up! I’m.. I’m not sure how this can happen..? But now I’m part of history YEAH 24th March 2016 - 03:05 am

[prodigal-sunlight]

WHOA SO WEIRD

[snapback-gravity-falls]

I just had to see it for myself and it’s true. Holy crap.

On this day, March 24th, 2016 at 12:22 in the afternoon, I have made myself part of history.

[nightlustrous]

it’s back

[mingesu-deactivated20180425]

Huh….

[nyreelovemenot]

I’ll probably always reblog this

[yung-caged-and-restless]

I feel like tumblr staff have been motoring this post and they put a special code in it so no notes ever show up

[thekingsvoice]

This post is historic

[secretbunker]

you can never not reblog this when it comes on your dash tumblr rule

7/9/16 - 8:32 pm

[joolychuu]

Take your chance and be part of it. They’ll talk about this in their history books in future.

[shagirma]

Literally no notes

I liked it one note pops up

What the everloving fuck

23/11/2017

5:44pm

[mikexelevenfluff-blog]

Wtf.. there’s not even a message saying 0 notes xD

[slytherinprincessusc]

29/11/17

No notes

One note popped up

[leirandha]

22/12/2017

07:46 AM

whoa

[rideboldlyride]

… there’s…. there’s no notes…. 😳

[theroonimansstuff]

[najaaozixxjsiaaiaiia]

[vintagesalt-deactivated20181115]

Fairuza Balk || 1997