A sideblog for svt fic dump so I can track what I've read. However, no doubt carats will chance upon this archive so feel free to utilise it to discover more fics & rmb to rb the ones you like! If a link does not work, do let me know so I can update it.
I've also made a masterlist for my own navigation. I DON'T rb nsfw works as I'm personally uncomfortable with that, however, you will see a few slightly m-rated / suggestive listings which indicate either, I've not read the content to decide if it's too much or I'm fine with it; so read at your own discretion! The members I'm fond of are seungcheol, jeonghan, jun, wonwoo, hoshi & minghao but you can find other members fics under the carat writers tab!
No, I'm not affiliated with anyone, this is purely just for myself and anyone who finds this useful. I welcome any feedback & improvements you think might help so just drop me an ask though it's not guaranteed I'll tweak it as my hands are currently tied (uni) + all these are done during my leisure time. Also if you've any recommendations for me to read, feel free to send in an ask too so I can add it into my masterlist!
you can find me lurking on my main or svt!
as of 22/12/2022, all links from wanted: new roommate to the last page are included in the masterlist.
Masterlists last update on 22/12/2022
As I have transitioned into adulting, my interests have pivoted away from seventeen in general and hence, there will not be any further updates from 2025 onwards. The blog stays up for baby carats to discover fics of their favorite members but there will not be updates to broken links/changed usernames of fic authors. Thank you carats for loving seventeen!
when your roommate quits his job at the coffee shop you frequent you never imagined the new guy would be hot or even your type. to make matters worse you both study law at the same university.
your friends to try to convince you to get together with him. you try to convince them you just find him really nice… but are you able to convince yourself?
how seventeen react to your family treating you badly
requested by anon. no one should ever have to go through something like that, i promise you, even if you feel as if it is partly 'your fault' for being too kind. never feel bad for being kind.
notes: tw for emotional manipulation, exploitation. emotional abuse is never the victim's fault. please let someone know if you feel like someone/yourself is in danger.
masterlist
seungcheol, hoshi, mingyu, seungkwan
probably ends up confronting your family when you go and meet up with them. you two have gone to meet your parents a few times, but he's begun to notice how they always seem to expect you to wait on them in small ways, even though you are their guests. finally snaps when you go to your parents' house for dinner one time, and it turns out they were waiting for you to come over so that you could cook dinner for them. grabs your hand and storms out of the house in anger, before calming down in the car and apologising for making a scene. he'll tell you sincerely and firmly that you can't let your family walk all over you like this, even if they're your parents, and pinky-promises you that he'll help you learn to recognize this exploitation and help you stand up to these things.
jeonghan, wonwoo, woozi, minghao
he's been sitting there in your parent's house, watching the way your family tells him stories of your childhood. but oddly, they all seem to center around your incompetence, clumsiness, or any little mistake you've ever made. he's incredibly upset, and when he pulls you aside during a quiet moment in the evening, you don't seem to notice how strange that is, thinking that's just how parents normally talk about their child. he realises then, how your family have been exploiting your kindness, belittling you whenever they can bc they know you'll brush it off as normal. as you're leaving your parent's place, he's the one to tell them privately, and incredibly seriously, that their behaviour is unfathomably damaging. he doesn't care if they scoff at him for weighing in his opinions as an 'outsider'. as soon as he thinks you're ready to find out, he's going to take you far, far away from these people. emotional manipulation and exploitation is never the victim's fault.
joshua, junhui, dokyeom, vernon, chan
brings it up to you in the gentlest way possible, sitting down with you one quiet afternoon and asking if you're okay with how your family is treating you. he'd never do it at your parent's house, unwilling to startle you with sudden information, but he explains how it all looks from an outsider's perspective, telling you softly that no, it's not normal for the people who are meant to love you the most to take advantage of you and show their 'love' only when they want something. he'll gradually show you everything you've had to put up with that isn't normal, respecting your wishes if you want him to stop talking. he understands if you get mad and defensive, because this is proof of your family's conditioning, and he'll hold you as you cry. waits for you to make the call for action, and wants to know how you want to deal with this. and if you want his help, he'll tell you exactly how to stand up to them and promises he'll be by your side the entire time.
a/n: posting his next as requested !! one of my best friends said "minghao makes me want to believe in scorpio men" and she was so right for that. i have also said that if someone doesn't feel about me the way that "hai cheng" describes, i don't want it. this is my long-winded way of saying minghao is my kryptonite <3 pics not mine !!
content: fluff | wc: 1.4k | warnings: none! | pairing: boyfriend!minghao x gn!reader | requests: open
minghao's giggle will ring in my ears for hours after i hear it for a few seconds so you can imagine how long thoughts of boyfriend minghao will linger in my mind after writing this :,,,-)
to put it simply, minghao is so so dreamy
he's romantic!!! in a natural way that isn't rehearsed
he thinks of you so dearly and treats you with so much care that everything he does makes your heart swoon and your knees weak
always has his hand at your back when you're walking in a public place. always asking you if you've eaten/had enough water/taken your medications or supplements/etc. always always always looking around the room to check on you, whether at home or at a party or a crowded restaurant, because he wants to confirm with his own eyes that you are still there and doing okay
and he really just wants to look at you 25/8 because you make him feel so safe <3
he adores picking out outfits for you and lying them on the bed/hanging them on the closet door so you can grab them the next morning before you head out to start your day
if you two are attending an event together, he will shyly ask if he can coordinate your outfits <3 he is over the moon when you say yes and even more over the moon when people do double-takes at you two because y'all have taken couples outfits to a whole new level of elegant and cool
he loves how it feels to show your relationship through something as expressive as fashion, and he's so proud to be seen with you :,-)
frequently sends you silly selfies
and also cool af selfies
these are the majority of your phone notifications when he's traveling, and he will ask you to send you selfies too
jokes that "i'll forget your face if i don't see it daily" but really he's collecting photos for the album he has on his phone so he can look through them when he misses you which is every second he's far away from you
he also asks you to help him to pick which photos to post !!! he takes your opinion so seriously and knows you would only pick the best pictures
definitely has opinions on which photos of you are the best he thinks every photo of you is perfect and absolutely adores taking photos of you !! he knows all the best poses and angles to show off your beauty
he'll make mental notes of places that are perfect for lil photoshoots and will take you to those places on your dates
he even sends you a message before those dates and tells you to dress up <3 this is also a time he'll often pick out your outfit so it pops with the scenery <3
please i love him so much
whenever he teases you, he giggles right after
like he's being savage but he's so enamored with you and how cute you look when he teases you that he can't hold back the giggles
also giggles like a child when you roast him because he loves that you feel comfortable enough to tease him
he tells you when you've said something particularly clever because he's proud of you and your wit i'm yelling
minghao has a notebook where he writes down quotes, lyrics, artworks, etc that remind him of you
whenever you're having a hard time, you two are apart for a while, or he just wants to express how much he loves you, he'll share one of these with you
he also keeps a list of everything you've ever recommended to him
i mean everything
like a movie you mentioned on your second date ?? he has watched it several times and can recite most of it from memory but it remains on that list like a souvenir of your first conversations
a coffee drink you said he had to try the next time he went to that one coffee shop in that one neighborhood ?? not only is it on that list, but he also makes notes of what he was doing every time he drank it
this notebook is basically his diary chronicling your relationship it's so beautiful and sentimental and a precious belonging to him <333
he revisits these places or things when he wants to feel close to you :-( there are pieces of you everywhere in his life and he'll never let them go <3
the best listener in the world !!!
before he shares his advice or opinions, he will ask you questions about your thoughts and feelings on it, encouraging you to explore the situation more on your own
he doesn't want to influence your feelings before you have the chance to sort it out yourself <3
sometimes he might be a little stubborn about his views, especially if he is offering you advice to resolve a problem, but, ultimately, he will respect your decisions
honestly it's one of the things he loves so much about you -- the fact that you're an individual and you don't always have to see exactly eye to eye to love and support each other
he always asks for your input too because your mind is beautiful to him and he knows he can rely on you for honesty and clarity
he acts so young in love, but he's so incredibly mature
like he blushes when you kiss him on the cheek and he looks at you with puppy eyes more often than not
but he also enjoys having serious conversations about boundaries, love languages, relationship desires, and so on
very much the type, once he gets comfortable enough in the relationship, to say "our future" instead of "my/your future" <333
he's grateful every single moment of every single day that your paths intersected
intersecting paths are definitely a recurring theme in the art he makes about you
as an anniversary present, he gives you a small painting that depicts a special moment in your relationship, like the building you stood in front of the first time he said "i love you" or your favorite flower intertwined with his favorite flower tied together with a ribbon that has the date you two met on it
keeps special house slippers, pajamas, toiletries, and clothes for you in his home at all times
he says it's because he likes to be neat and prepared but really it's because he never wants you to have a reason to leave when you stay late at night
adores painting, drawing, and doing anything creative with you <3
sharing his hobbies and passions is one of his love languages for sure, so coexisting while making art together is one of the most intimate ways he can say "i love you"
in general, he simply loves coexisting with you
reading together, napping together, watching the sunrise/sunset, walking around the city, any activity you can both do simultaneously is something minghao will sign up for in a heartbeat !
he finds so much peace in your presence that he seeks as much time with you as possible
and, whenever either of you want some alone time, you both can say it freely
the respect you two share for each other as individuals is so special
it enhances the love you have toward the other, and it enhances how meaningful time together is
he loves to compliment you, and the word that falls from his lips the most is "pretty"
you are so breathtaking to him, in every possible way. while he tries to use the most accurate words each time, something about "pretty" captures his admiration for you enough for it to become instinct
he WILL completely lose it when you call him pretty
because he melts at your compliments and also because "pretty" has such a powerful meaning now that he defines it with you sorry i'm sobbing at this
minghao is just a breath of fresh air and the feeling of warmth that comes when someone says "i love you" as they tuck you in for the night and kiss your forehead softly
as his partner, you will never feel forgotten or uncared for because he is always watching out for you and holding you, whether that's physically, emotionally, or mentally
minghao is a sweetheart who loves you with his whole heart and soul !!! every moment he spends with you is a dream come true to him, and, while he can't believe his luck, he is so grateful for you
i'm going to curl up into a ball now because minghao is so !!!!! i hope everyone gets the minghao they deserve <333
Warnings: Minghao being a little mean to reader (teasing, calling her stupid & an idiot), performance unit + Jeonghan being bad boys, reader almost being hit by a car, reader being so oblivious it’s laughable, the bad boy gang making fun of some of the other members (teasing them,)
Pairing: Xu Minghao (The8) x afab! reader
Summary: The8 is one of the infamous bad boys of the school, (Y/n) is the infamous nerdy girl who is also very clumsy. Minghao has long since fallen in love with (Y/n) but he’s not the best at showing it, however one day when he is very frustrated he might just find the right way to show it.
You knew you were fucked as soon as you woke up. Something didn't feel right - a sense of wrongness permeating everything. The darkness was thicker than it should be. The light from the outside seemed too red. It triggered something inside you that caused your mind to spiral. You knew you wouldn't fall asleep again.
And that would be fine. You could handle getting through the day sleep deprived, having years of experience at this point. But lying back down, you couldn't find a comfortable position and even as the sky became bright outside, you kept tossing and turning. Also fine. If your boyfriend wasn't as light of a sleeper as he is.
“Can’t sleep?” Minghao asks, barely awake, voice heavy and thick. It has this comforting heft to it - just as his arm that prods at your waist and sneaks under your body, wrapping around you and pulling you closer.
“Yeah,” you sigh, “Too many thoughts. Sorry I woke you up.”
He hums, thoughtfully, and falls silent. You feel his breath on your skin, so even and calm you think he’s already asleep. Meanwhile, inside your head it’s the exact opposite. You pick out details from previous days, all the ifs that could go wrong, the tone someone used in a conversation. Outside, the sky shifts closer to different hues of blue with each passing minute when suddenly - darkness.
The world goes black.
His hand is warm, and some deep brownish orange comes in lines between his fingers as he covers your eyes. You hear him move and feel the bed dip right behind you until your body is tilting and only stops when your back meets his chest.
“What-”
“Just listen to the birds sing,” he murmurs. There are birds outside, loud and noisy, but you can’t say that listening to them is what you wanna be doing.
"Hao…" you whine. Your dismay for the exercise is clear in your voice.
"You let me blind you," he reprimands gently, "So trust me."
You do trust him. Even if you can’t see, you’d do anything he tells you - except apparently right now, except with something as simple as just being present in the moment. As if he could sense your reluctance, he disarms you by pressing his lips against the back of your neck.
“Shhhh,” he breathes and it sends shivers down your spine, “Do it for me, darling.”
You don’t dare roll your eyes even if he couldn’t see it anyway. Instead you close them and try to do as he says. Now that you’re focused, you can hear a variety of bird voices.
It's almost like a conversation in a different language, a multitude of them, and usually you'd love it, would be excited by it, but right now you're defiantly infuriated by it. You can't even say why.
"Hear the birds sing," Hao whispers again, pulling you closer. That works much better - his voice and touch, "Hear the wind in the trees. Remember the one we saw yesterday?"
You nod, and despite yourself you smile. "Yeah. It was in full bloom. I haven't noticed before."
You feel his smile on your skin. Much better than listening to stupid birds.
"Then listen and imagine. The wind blowing past, carrying the petals all around. Can you hear the birds?"
Yes, you want to tell him, but I'd love to listen to you instead. Yet you don't, because you know he's tired and he needs to sleep as much as you do. So you listen again, and nod.
"What do they look like?" he asks, but you’re distracted by him nuzzling into your shoulder.
“I don’t know,” you say quicker than you can realize you’re snapping at him, and you’re immediately trying to make amends, “Sorry.”
“Just imagine,” fortunately, your boyfriend is a very patient man.
Ashamed by your earlier outburst, you do imagine the birds behind the sounds. And doing so, you realize you know some of those birds. Like the tiny brown and gray one who just has to be the culprit behind the happy chirping. The majestic black birds who must be the ones cawing. And then-
“The sharp sound - that’s the one that used to sit on our kitchen window,” you say, receiving a hum and another kiss, “The one that stopped coming.”
You keep emotions out of your voice even though you’re admittedly still bitter about being abandoned without any good reason by a bird you thought liked your window. What did you do wrong? You left it alone, you were mindful of it, you even avoided your own kitchen when it sat there to let it rest. Sometimes you even left it seeds to snack on…
Before you realize, tension is melting away from your body as you remember the bird. The paranoid thoughts quieten down faced with wonder. Your mind drifts all over the place. You feel like you’re floating among the blue and the birds.
You get startled when Hao’s chest vibrates with a chuckle. Still smiling, he kisses your shoulder.
“Better?” he asks, softly, already falling asleep now that his mission’s accomplished. You snuggle further under the covers.
“Thank you,” you say, even though you really mean i love you. You have a feeling he knows anyway.
a/n: a submission for k-vanity’s idols over flowers event. main flowers: roses x romance and sunflower x comedy, ribbons: black x picnic date. inspired by day 1 by red velvet! first soonyoung fic hehe (everyone cheered) and def one of my favorites i've written thus far!
Soonyoung’s hands were trembling as he prepared to knock on your door. The worst you could do is say no, right? Wrong. The worst you could do is say yes to his invitation and have him be a nervous mess in front of his friends. It was all Jeonghan’s fault, really.
You moved in next door to Soonyoung around seven months ago, but he was still shy around you. He’s unable to live down the embarrassment he experienced because of his first words to you. Simple introductions should be shared between neighbors rather than long-winded ones. So all those months ago he practiced in front of his bathroom mirror around 60 times in order to perfectly say 15 words to you.
Good morning. I’m your next door neighbor, Kwon Soonyoung. It’s a pleasure to meet you.
Nice and simple. Yet, when he went outside of his apartment that day, he saw you moving your things in with your friends and decided to greet you later. Later ended up being dinnertime after he heard the chatter and noise die down. He walked over with some paper towel as a harmless housewarming-welcome-to-the-building gift. But what he wasn’t expecting was for you to walk out in your pajamas with a mug full of tea. You gasped out of horror at the fact that you not only spilled on yourself, but also at the fact that you spilled on an unsuspecting stranger’s very nice, very expensive looking white T-shirt. The tea had turned colder than you thought so luckily neither of you were burned, but you both couldn’t stop apologizing to one another.
Soonyoung handed you the paper towel he bought, “I really just meant to come over to greet you, I feel so bad for causing this mess. Please, let me have your clothes dry cleaned.”
You looked down at your clothes, an oversized black hoodie with bleach stains on it from past box dyeing endeavors and baggy gray sweatpants from your high school.
“But aren’t you mad that I spilled on you? I mean that shirt looks like it’s,” You pause to look at the writing on his chest, “oh God, it’s Balenciaga? I mean, I can’t pay it all at once but installments?”
He hurriedly shook his hands, “No, please don’t worry about my clothes! This was a present from my workplace.”
“If you insist. But at least let me pay for your coffee someday, please. I know this is an awful time to say this, but hi. My name’s Y/N L/N and I just moved in next to you,” You bend down to place your mug on the floor and wipe off the excess tea on your pants before extending a hand for him to shake.
Now is the time, Soonyoung has prepared for this all day.
“Good morning, Kwon Soonyoung I am.”
It’s 8pm, that is anything but morning. Did he just say I am at the end of his sentence?
You tried your best to hide your laugh behind your hand, but it was too late since Soonyoung was already mortified at himself.
“I’m going to go back into my apartment now…” He trailed off, scurrying away before you could say anything else.
You were left standing in front of your door, with spilled tea seeping further and further into your clothes by the minute and holding a roll of paper towel in your hand. That was indeed a memorable first impression of him.
Your apartment complex had occasional community activities as an attempt to create a bond between tenants, but Soonyoung always stuck by the people he knew. Joshua and Jeonghan, who were roommates on the seventh floor and longtime friends of his, always teased Soonyoung for self-proclaiming himself as an introvert when they saw him as anything but one. Yet, his true introverted personality shined whenever he was around you. He hid behind others or found excuses to avoid you. He couldn’t risk making you think he was even more of a fool than your first encounter with him.
You yourself were convinced that he hated you. You spilled tea on his shirt worth hundreds of dollars, anyone would reasonably be pissed. Your fears were only confirmed as he was seemingly doing everything in his power to keep away from you. You tried to approach him several times, but he always kept his distance. One time he even tripped into an ice sculpture, causing it to fall and break during a winter party. It was even more tragic since one of the maintenance people was retiring and the sculpture was of the employee’s face. Soonyoung broke the poor man’s face. Not literally, but it certainly killed the mood of the farewell party. He looked around the room in horror, but when his eyes landed on you he averted his gaze so quickly that you thought he would strain a muscle in his neck.
Still, every time you met on the elevator or in the hallway he would nod and share quick salutations with you. You felt indebted to him over the Balenciaga shirt and would bring him coffee weekly on Mondays to start his week.
Back to the present, Soonyoung bit his lip softly, still contemplating on inviting you. As he reached out his fist to knock on the door, it opened with your surprised expression staring back at him. How did he always manage to time things so impeccably with you?
“Hi Soonyoung!” You beamed after regaining your composure after the initial surprise.
He was speechless, well aware that you probably thought he was a weirdo for staring at you without saying anything. How could you be so radiant? Your smile was brighter than the sun, at least to him.
You raised an eyebrow, “Soonyoung?”
“S-sorry! Um, some other tenants and I are having a picnic at Fallin’ Flower Botanical Garden and…well…would you like to come?” He handed you an invitation that his coworker Minghao designed for the occasion.
You looked down at the invitation, smiling softly at it. You weren’t necessarily smiling over being invited, plenty of other tenants invited you to events, but you were smiling because Soonyoung was inviting you. Maybe he didn’t resent you after all. You were engrossed in your own thoughts, oblivious to his growing restlessness since you technically hadn’t said a yes or no.
“There’s also going to be some of our coworkers and friends, about ten people so far. It’s really low-stakes, but we are handing out the invitations a month in advance so you have time to decide if you wanna go,”
“It sounds like fun! Thank you for inviting me,” You made sure your gratitude was known by giving him a brief hug. He froze, something that you assumed was because you made a move in your friendship too quickly. But in actuality, he was freaking out.
The weeks leading up to the picnic you made more of an effort to make conversation with him. Your job had flexible hours as long as you clocked over 30 hours weekly, your manager was satisfied. Therefore, it was easy to cater to Soonyoung’s time.
You went to Jeonghan to ask for more details about his schedule, something which he eagerly revealed to you. It made you wonder why, but you didn’t question it too much. You would bring up the most cliche questions, from ‘What should I bring?’ to ‘Have you noticed the snow melting lately?’. Soonyoung was a bit surprised that he would run into you way more by chance lately, but he didn’t mind it. He looked forward to your conversations, it was a way for him to energize himself before or after working on new choreographies with his dance crew at work.
You also enjoyed talking to him, he was still your clumsy neighbor, but he was also extremely funny and caring.
After Jeonghan shared Soonyoung’s schedule with you, he would notice you and Soonyoung were completely entertained by each other. Whether he was checking his mail, walking to and from the parking lot, or on the elevator, he tried to make it his mission to periodically see how you guys were progressing. Your and Soonyoung’s ambiguous relationship became the central topic of Jeonghan and Joshua’s nightly gossip. Soon enough they got the rest of the people invited to the picnic to go along with the plan that Jeonghan had concocted.
Soonyoung and you planned to meet in the parking lot where he would drive the two of you to the garden. The rest of the group, Soonyoung informed you, would be meeting the two of you at the garden. You looked at yourself in the full length mirror of your bedroom one last time, paying attention to the dark wash jeans and light green shirt you chose to wear. The invitation didn’t specify a dress code and Soonyoung never gave you a theme, so you thought the outfit fit spring well. You slid on your white sneakers, locked your door, and headed down to meet him.
The parking lot was pretty vacant since it was the early afternoon on a Sunday and people usually were still lounging in their homes at this time. You spotted Soonyoung’s car and picked up your pace to head over to the passenger’s side. Knocking on the window, Soonyoung jumped from the sudden noise before turning and seeing you waving at him. He waved back with a smile adorn on his face before unlocking the door.
You got into the car, noticing his attire of a tan suit with a patterned tie to match, “I didn’t know the dress code was so formal, can you give me a second to change?”
Soonyoung’s smile dramatically becomes a frown, “No! I mean, you can change if you want but you look shining how you are right now. You always look good, Y/N.”
Feeling shy at his words, you get into the car holding the wicker basket full of food you prepared, “Thank you, Soonyoung. Where should I put this…?”
“Oh, here! Let me put it in the back seat,” He offered, grabbing the basket and putting it beside the tote bag that you could see had food containers packed in it as well.
In the car, you were conversing with Soonyoung as usual. The garden was about a 50 minute drive from the apartment complex and you occupied yourselves accordingly. Soonyoung had texted you a playlist link about two days in advance and you had added some songs, making it a shared playlist. Another reason you liked him was because of his music taste, he seemed to know a wide range of music, and was really open to listening to all genres.
About halfway into the drive, his phone pings loudly, indicating that he received a text message.
“Sorry, would you mind reading the text I just got for me?” He asks cautiously.
You stopped playing with the rings you decided to accessorize with earlier. He was holding out his phone for you to take.
“There’s one text from Jeonghan,” You notify him, waiting for his approval to continue.
“Okay, what does it say?” He inquires, looking through his side mirror before switching lanes.
You continue, “None of us are able to make it anymore because Minghao put the wrong date on the invitations we handed out. You have fun with Y/N though, and then…there’s a winky face emoji and the cat kissing emoji?”
His ears turn red as you describe the emojis. Yoon Jeonghan, you are the devil incarnate.
Your mind starts spiraling, “Oh no, do I make them uncomfortable?”
“No, no! It’s not that!” Soonyoung fervently denies.
“There isn’t any other explanation for why your friends wouldn’t tag along I mean-” You persist.
“Y/N-”
“They were all on board until you said I was coming in the groupchat, that definitely means they hate me-”
“Y/N,” Soonyoung attempts again. He turns down the radio playing a pop song, “They didn’t come as a way to support me.”
“Support you?”
He taps his fingers on the steering wheel, trying to think if he should tell you of the conversation he had with Jeonghan and Joshua days ago. He could tell you were looking at him expectantly through the corner of his eye, time to spill the beans.
“They said that we like each other, crazy right?”
Silence followed, with you turning your gaze back to the road in front of you. Soonyoung had to save this atmosphere, but before he knew it he was telling you everything.
“Honestly, I have thought you were cute since I first saw you moving in. With each of our conversations, I only came to like you more and more, but I don’t mean to make this awkward! I know we’re only neighbors-turned-friends and I don’t want to ruin our friendship, so don’t worry I’ll get over my crush eventually.”
More silence…
“You don’t have to get over your crush on me,” You stated, thinking back at the past month and how you have grown a deep fondness for your neighbor.
Soonyoung’s head whipped towards you, “Does that mean?”
You grinned at him, “Yeah, I like you too.”
He tried his best to drive safely and maintain the speed limit but it was a nearly impossible mission for him. How could he contain his excitement over the person he likes returning his feelings?!
You arrived at Fallin’ Flower Botanical Garden a little past noon and luckily there were plenty of spots to sit down at. The garden was even more beautiful than the pictures online. It was the start of spring, yet everything was either blooming or in full bloom. Roses, honeysuckles, cosmos, daisies, tulips, daffodils, mugunghwas, and so much more were growing throughout the place. The various vibrant hues mixed with the luscious green grass left you in awe.
Soonyoung had brought a pastel tiger-patterned blanket to sit on, something that made you only like him more because of his stubbornness in identifying with the animal.
You had sat down next to a pond where there were ducks and their ducklings swimming about and the weather was temperate. After about 20 minutes, you could tell Soonyoung was antsy.
“Sorry, I need to go find the bathroom real quick!” Soonyoung excused himself. He slid on his shoes, not even bothering to put the shoes fully on his heels before running off to find the nearest restroom.
Leaving you alone, you opened your phone and scrolled through the notifications you had missed. Opening TikTok, you looked at a video your best friend Seokmin had sent you. It was his attempt at a new dance challenge, with your mutual friend Seungkwan. You placed the phone down on the blanket, trying to follow the hand motions your friends were doing. You were never the most coordinated person and you only found yourself growing more and more frustrated at the lack of ability in doing the dance correctly.
Soonyoung headed back to your spot in the garden, it was easy to find since you decided to sit by the roses. He saw you from afar…dancing? He watched silently for a while more before approaching your blanket.
“Are you trying to dance to the new song Eric Nam released?”
It was your turn to be startled since you were completely unaware he had come back, “Y-yeah, my friends sent me a TikTok dancing to it and I have never been good at these challenges so I just tried it to kill the time. I can’t do it though.”
He admires your hard work, with your hair slightly messy from dancing.
“What if I taught you?” He proposes.
“You know the dance?”
“Well it’s a bit embarrassing to admit but I actually created the choreography with my dance crew for Eric Nam,” He confesses.
“How is that embarrassing? That’s so cool!” You respond, “Please teach me, it would be an honor.”
“Well first you place your feet like this…” He instructs, getting into the proper position to teach.
Out of breath you both sat back down on the blanket, “That was so much fun, but I definitely worked up an appetite!”
“Well there’s this bakery where they make the bread vegetable shaped but then they actually taste like the vegetables! My friend Mingyu works there so I got a discount and got to skip the lines,” Soonyoung shows off the first item in his tote bag.
“No way, I’ve been wanting to get some bread from there! And you got the sweet pumpkin bread? That’s the one I’ve been wanting to try the most. They all look delicious, Soonyoung,” You rambled.
Because of your reaction, Soonyoung was proud of his purchase.
You went on to explain the first thing you brought, “I made chocolate cupcakes with strawberries dipped in white chocolate. The chocolate was mixed with orange food coloring so hopefully you can see since the strawberries were placed on top of the cupcakes,”
“They resembled carrots sprouting out of dirt,” Soonyoung finishes.
“Exactly, that was the plan!”
You both continued to show off the variety of food you brought, eating only a fraction of it since you both planned on way more people coming. After a few more hours of relaxing, the sun was starting to set and you decided to head back.
“Time is too precious, I wanna see you again tomorrow,” Soonyoung pouts on the drive back.
“We’re going to see each other anyway! Mondays are the days I bring you coffee, remember?” You remind him, reaching out to hold his hand he had resting on his leg.
“Oh, you’re right! But let me buy us coffee tomorrow, I am your boyfriend after all,” He squeezed your hand softly, with a warm smile to accompany it.
“So, Soonyoung, today is the first day of us dating?”
He brought your hand up to his face, with his hand still entangled with yours. Placing a soft kiss on your hand, he nodded, “Day one of forever.”
summary: what’s the best part of a terrible date? the end. that is, until a roommate catches covid and you’re forced to stay together
genre: fluff
warnings: swearing, food, SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT
wc: 5.3k
a/n: hello!!!! this is kinda based more on pandemic protocol from a year ago so it’s not quite the same as the current experience, but also covid is still very real!! anyways if you don’t enjoy second hand embarrassment don’t read.. I need to stop writing kiss scenes 😭
Seungcheol’s shoulder brushes against yours again. He isn’t doing it on purpose, but he thinks it might be his subconscious since he isn’t brave enough to ask to hold your hand.
“Nice night,” you say. Seungcheol doesn’t miss how you avoid his eyes, staring at your toes. Everything in his heart screams awkward as he tries to think of something, anything to say.
He thought it would be easy: he called Vernon about the friend he brought to the party, found out your name, and then found out you had asked about him as well. He got your number and asked you out to dinner. He likes you and you like him, so why is this so awkward?
“I guess this is goodnight,” you say. You smile and Seungcheol forgets what he was about to say.
“I guess this is goodnight,” you say. You smile and Seungcheol forgets what he was about to say.
“I guess this is goodnight,” you say. You smile and Seungcheol forgets what he was about to say.
“I… had fun today,” he sputters. He doesn’t know what’s wrong with him, but he knows if he doesn’t do anything soon, this already-painful date will turn into a terrible memory that he’ll never be able to live down. He thinks about telling Vernon about this nightmare, or, god forbid, Jeonghan and Joshua find out. He’d never hear the end of it.
Maybe that’s why he catches your hand before you can turn around. In a spurt of his only confidence of the night, he asks, “Can I kiss you?”
You look startled at first, but your frown quickly turns into a smile, if a bit nervous. “Sure.”
Seungcheol leans closer, pausing over your lips and suddenly remembers the garlic pasta he had for lunch earlier. He swallows and prays it’s enough to hide the taste. He leans a little bit closer and your lips are touching and Seungcheol thinks they are warm and soft (and maybe a little bit chapped but his are too). Move, he thinks but the thought doesn’t travel to his muscles and his stupid brain can’t figure out what to do. The kiss lasts longer and longer and all he does is stand there with his lips pressed against yours.
Finally, you pull away. Seungcheol doesn’t dare look in your eyes as he takes a step back. He can already feel his face heating up with embarrassment. Maybe it’s not too late for him to catch the shuttle to the airport and get on a flight and leave somewhere and never come back, maybe go to Guam, or Canada, or really anywhere but here.
“Goodnight,” he mumbles, daring to glance at you once. Your hand is pressed against your lips as if you can't quite believe what happened either. Seungcheol turns down the sidewalk and walks away, hoping that he’ll never have to think about this again.
His phone buzzes in his pocket, a welcome distraction. Joshua’s face appears on his screen.
“Hey, is it too late to cancel your date?” Joshua asks. He’s in the apartment that Seungcheol, Joshua, and Jeonghan share, evident by the cardboard cutout of the Rock that Seungkwan gave Jeonghan for his birthday last year that is staring at Seungcheol over Joshua’s shoulder.
“Uh, yeah,” Seungcheol says, praying that’s the last question.
“Cool, how are you feeling?”
How to answer that? How does Seungcheol explain that he wants a comet to wipe him off the face of the earth, or maybe a time machine so he can go back and at least stop himself from that horrible kiss.
“Fine,” Seungcheol says, because he doesn’t want to deal with the teasing from the J’s. It’s the only way this night can get worse.
“No coughing? No sore throat?”
Seungcheol stops. “What’s going on?”
Joshua smiles, though it doesn’t reach his eyes and Seungcheol recognizes the anger burning behind them. “Well, the little asshat is coughing and he took an at home test and it may or may not be positive.”
“Joshua,” Seungcheol says slowly. “Are you telling me Jeonghan has covid?”
“Yes! I’m supposed to have a meeting with my thesis advisor tomorrow, goddammit. Well, if you’re feeling fine you should probably just find somewhere to quarantine, or come back here and take the L, I guess,” Joshua says. “This is so annoying, and Jeonghan is going to milk the shit out of this until we’re sick too.”
“Joshua,” Seungcheol says slowly. “Jeonghan and I ate breakfast together today. We shared a spoon.”
“Oh, then you should come back.”
Seungcheol sighs, remembering the kiss that would likely go down as one of the top five worst moments of his life. And he thought things couldn’t get worse.
Well, he can’t be too pessimistic. Maybe telling you that he may have given you covid will somehow make this night better.
.
.
He sits on the far end of the couch. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to invite him to quarantine with you, but you trust that any friend of Vernon’s isn’t a psychopath, and he looked genuinely upset about the entire situation. Besides, if he really isn’t sick, then there’s no danger.
Except for the fact that you cannot forget the horrible kiss that wasn’t even five minutes ago. It wasn’t your worst kiss (that title went to Jimmy at the ninth birthday party of your best friend, who thought the enclosed space you were crammed into together during an intense round of hide and seek was the appropriate time to confess his love and then force a kiss on your lips when you were mostly thinking about how much you had to pee), but it definitely wasn’t the best.
At least he seems to feel as embarrassed as you are. The few times you work up the confidence to look at him, he’s either staring at your carpet or fiddling with his thumbs.
“Thanks again,” Seungcheol says. “You really don’t have to do this.”
“Like I said, if you don't have it, we’re fine, but if you do, there’s a good chance you gave it to me, so you might as well stay here.” You tap your fingers on the arm of the couch.
“Well, thank you anyways,” he says. “And I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay,” you say. Not for the first time, you wish you had a roommate, or at least someone else in the apartment so you wouldn’t have to figure out how to deal with this all on your own. How does one properly host the person they went on exactly one (bad) date with and then possibly gave them covid? Offer tea?
“So, you want to play Mario Kart?” You ask.
“Are you sure you want to challenge me?” Seungcheol asks. “I should warn you, I’ve been trained.”
“I have too,” you say, thinking about how many times Jihoon had cursed you out playing the game throughout your lifelong friendship. He taught you curse words you didn’t know existed.
“Jeon Wonwoo himself trained me,” Seungcheol says, taking the controller as you hand it to him.
“Jeon Wonwoo?” You frown at him from the other side of the couch.
“He’s a streamer,” Seungcheol says. “And I thought a pretty popular one, but now I’m realizing I sort of sound like an idiot and should have kept my mouth shut.”
“I’m sure he’s really good,” you say. “He could be really popular, I really wouldn’t know.”
Seungcheol flashes a thankful smile and you remember why you asked Vernon about him in the first place. Not just because his smile makes your heart skip a beat, but because he’s so expressive that you think you can read every thought that comes across his face. As painfully terrible as the date was, you aren’t completely opposed to a second date, and his wide smile isn’t helping at all.
Though, the way things are going right now, you are a little worried you might be stuck with him for the rest of your life.
“Well, either way, we won’t know until we try,” you say. Seungcheol points his controller at you as if it were a sword, accepting your challenge. The familiar music begins and you select your character (always Shy Guy). Seungcheol chooses Bowser, which doesn’t surprise you. He chooses a kart while you choose a bike, and before long, the numbers count down.
3.
2.
1.
.
.
In hindsight, Seungcheol wonders if he was too competitive. Then again, the score is still 50-50 for first place after playing four rounds, so it’s not like you didn’t match his energy.
“This isn’t over,” you declare when he wins the final match and sets the score back to an even win rate.
“It’s almost midnight, I think it’s over for the night,”Seungcheol says. “Besides, it’s tied!”
“The last time I settled for a tie was Jihoon, and now he refuses to play with me,” you say. Seungcheol idly wonders if it’s weird that he finds the borderline violent look in your eyes attractive.
“Oh, believe me, I’m not settling for a tie,” Seungcheol says. “Wonwoo would kill me if he ever found out, he called me his protegé.”
“And you’re proud of that?” You ask, but you’re smiling. “Fine, I’ll concede for tonight, but this isn’t over.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Seungcheol says, grinning even wider at your fake glare.
“Are you sure you’re okay with the couch?” You ask, standing up.
Seungcheol is tempted to flirt and say, “Unless you want to share a bed,” but he decides with how badly he fumbled earlier in the evening, it would be safest to nod and keep his mouth shut. Besides, he is beyond grateful that you’re letting him stay with you; the couch might as well be a king-sized bed.
Unfortunately, it is not king-sized, and his feet stick off the edge when he tries stretching out on it. You return with a rather flimsy blanket and a giant stuffed dog that Seungcheol is afraid is his pillow for the night.
“I’m really, really sorry,” you say, “Nobody ever stays over so all I have are these.”
“It’s fine,” Seungcheol says, already preparing his back for a very long night. “Like I said, I’m the one intruding.” You hand him a spare toothbrush and point him in the direction of the bathroom.
Seungcheol understands why you never have people over: the apartment, putting things kindly, is shit. From his first step inside, he was shocked at the small size, with a kitchen that doubles as a dining room and living room (and where he would sleep tonight), a bedroom (that he assumes is tiny because you didn’t invite him to see and he figured it would be inappropriate to ask), and the bathroom. On top of the size, he was sure he saw a monstrous bug flying around that looked like some sort of cockroach abomination, but you didn’t mention it, and there was a strange smell coming from the sink drain. At least you were able to lighten the beige painted walls with what looked like handmade canvases.
There is no saving the bathroom. Seungcheol was scared to enter it earlier, and his fears are confirmed now. He thinks the tile might have been pink once, but it had seen so many years and so many… fluids, that it has become a sickening brown color. The walls have suffered a similar fate, though it looks like there has been a fairly recent coat of paint. There’s no bathtub, and the shower head looks like it hasn’t been changed in ten years, and doesn’t seem to be able to control the water heat or flow at all. The room mostly smells like lemon and bleach, and Seungcheol wonders how long you spent scrubbing before you realized it was a hopeless effort.
He brushes his teeth quickly, feeling a little guilty that he has to dig through your cabinets for your toothpaste. He tries not to look at anything, focusing on his reflection in the mirror. That’s when he realizes that he’s stuck with these clothes: his nicest pair of pants and a button down that Joshua insisted he iron before he left. At least he had a white t-shirt on beneath it, but he was stuck in these clothes unless he asked you for a change, which was not happening anytime soon. He could only pray that he didn’t get covid from Jeonghan and would be free in three days.
You’re sitting on the couch when he comes out. You don’t turn right away, and for a moment he catches a glimpse of you, back towards him, head facing toward the windows beside the door and staring outside. He wonders what you’re thinking, and hopes it’s not something along the lines of I hope this man leaves my apartment as soon as possible. He doesn’t want to be a nuisance, but he can’t help but feel that after the rousing game of Mario Kart, maybe the relationship between the two of you wasn’t completely destroyed.
You’re smiling a little when the bathroom door clicks shut and you turn to see him. You’ve definitely caught him staring, but Seungcheol doesn’t really care, returning your smile.
“Thank you,” he says. He trades spots with you as you stand and he sits on the couch. You linger for a moment, leaning against the arm.
“I’m really sorry about the lack of a bed,” you say. “But I’m very broke.”
“How about you stop apologizing and I’ll stop saying thank you?”
You laugh. “Yeah, that works.”
“Good,” Seungcheol says. There’s more he wants to say, but unlike before, it doesn’t weigh him down and make him panic. It’s a warm feeling that makes him think he has a lifetime to learn everything about you.
“Goodnight, yn,” he says, loving the way your name feels in his mouth.
“Goodnight,” you say, finally standing and crossing into your room, pulling the door shut behind you with a resounding click.
.
.
You wake up to banging noises in the kitchen. It takes a minute to remember that you aren’t alone in the apartment, and you aren’t being robbed. Though you want to go back to sleep, the banging is rather noisy, so you drag yourself out of bed and into the bathroom.
You just woke up, but you’re glad you went into the bathroom before confronting Seungcheol, because as your brain slowly wakes up, you realize your hair is a total mess and your breath is terrible. You brush your teeth quickly and try not to think about the boy in your kitchen because it only makes you more nervous.
Strange, how your feelings for him changed so much in such a short time period. You were nervous before the date, then disappointed after how bad it went, but then last night was so much fun, and you’re back to being nervous at the thought of him. You hate the butterflies that are fluttering around your gut.
They vanish when you see the state of your kitchen.
“I am so sorry,” Seungcheol says the second he hears your footsteps. “I wanted to do something nice for you because you’re being so nice and letting me stay, and the least I could do was make you breakfast, except I got lost in your kitchen, and then there was an incident with the flour, and then this giant bug flying around my face, and I was going to clean it all up before you woke up, but I guess I was being really loud, and this is a huge mess, and I’m really sorry.”
Seungcheol himself almost looks worse than your kitchen, between the frantic look in his eyes and flour covering half of his body. There’s some red sauce spilled on his shirt (which you have absolutely no idea where it came from since you don’t have ketchup in your apartment), and it’s clear he spent the last few minutes failing to get control of the mess of ingredients that spilled on the stove.
“At least nothing’s on fire,” you say.
“Yeah, I put it out pretty quickly.”
“You set my apartment on fire?”
“Only briefly!” Seungcheol grabs your shoulders, then lets go when he realizes his hands are still covered in flour. “Look, I promise I’ll clean everything up, just go take a shower, wait, no, I’m not saying you smell or anything, but give me like ten minutes and I’ll make it look like nothing ever happened.” He looks really desperate.
“I’ll order some food,” you say, walking dazedly back to your room. Your kitchen was falling apart before, but Seungcheol has made it unrecognizable between everything that he spilled and whatever he tried to cook. You think maybe it was pancakes, but whatever happened in that kitchen is between Seungcheol and the bug that might as well be your roommate since all of your attempts to kill it have failed.
“Yn?” Seungcheol says. It sounds like he’s standing right outside your door. It’s only been a few minutes, so there’s no way he’s finished cleaning.
“Is something wrong?” You get off your bed and pull the door open to find him standing in front of you, head hanging low like a puppy that knows he messed up.
He shakes his head, looking up at you with an exaggerated pout. “Are you mad?”
You can’t help but laugh. “No, I’m not mad. A little stunned, because I didn’t think there was that much flour in my kitchen, but it’s not like you did it on purpose, so, why would I be mad?”
“Seriously?” Seungcheol says. He looks almost hopeful.
“Yeah, it can be cleaned up, and you didn’t actually set the place on fire, so it’s fine.” You shrug. Seungcheol doesn’t look like he really believes you, so you add, “Seriously, I was just really surprised, but I’ll find the bleach and help you clean as soon as I change out of my pajamas.”
That’s when you realize a) Seungcheol is still wearing the clothes from the date the night before which b) are now absolutely covered in flour. You can’t believe that you didn’t notice earlier, but it’s obvious that he needs something to change into. You close the door to change, but dig through your drawers to find someone that suits Seungcheol and can’t seem to find anything.
Your phone rings, and you realize you have the perfect solution.
.
.
Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but Seungcheol thinks the kitchen looks cleaner than it was before. It smells distinctly like lemon, and the black stains under the cabinet (that were one of the few spots Seungcheol didn’t create) were successfully removed. Maybe it smells so clean the bug/monster/demon would finally leave your apartment (definitely wishful thinking). He washes his hands again, but they still don’t feel clean; he doubts they ever will be again, since you didn’t have any gloves.
“It looks good!” You say. You insisted on working alongside him and refused to take no for an answer, which he was grateful for since Seungcheol had no idea where any of your cleaning supplies were. It was a challenge to use bleach without gloves, but Seungcheol is 90% sure you both managed to avoid bleach poisoning. Still, he figures it’s safest to usher you into the shower while he tries to figure out what to do now.
He can’t even sit down and relax since he keeps leaving flour behind no matter how much comes off him. He ends up sitting on the floor in the doorway since it’s the only place that isn’t clean. Though the door is solid, the large panels next to it are windows, and Seungcheol watches the empty street.
Here are his options: ask you for clothes to change into (mortifying) or live the rest of his quarantine life in clothes that are turning stiff from the mix of grease, flour, and cleaning supplies that have seeped into the fabric (possibly deadly). He strongly considers running away, but he decides it’s unethical to wander around while possibly infected.
It’s from staring out the window and longing for freedom that he first notices it. A flash of movement out of the corner of his eye so fast Seungcheol thinks he imagined it, but then it happens again. Black clothing, he’s sure of it. It’s moving so fast Seungcheol isn’t quite sure that it’s human. He stands up, now certain that whatever’s out there is real and a threat.
Are there any weapons? He does a mental checklist of everything he’s seen in your apartment, and all he comes up with are the kitchen knives he saw in a drawer while looking for the cleaning supplies. He wonders if he should ask you, but the water is still running, and he doesn’t want to scare you just because he’s jumpy. He is already beginning to second guess whether he saw anything at all, when there’s a little knock at the door.
Seungcheol inches back, hands feeling dreadfully empty. As much as he wants a knife, he doesn’t want to turn his back on the door now that there’s noises.
The knock comes again, a small sound followed by a soft rattling, as if something was rolling on the ground. Seungcheol freezes, not daring to get any closer to the glass, but trying to peer out and see what he can.
The knock comes a third time, except this time it hits the glass and Seungcheol realizes that it’s a tiny rock being thrown. He watches it land in the dirt, trying to determine if it’s from the yard or another planet. Seungcheol takes a step up to the door and realizes his hands have curled into fists.
He knows more likely than not, it’s probably some town kid that’s looking for an easy prank on poor college kids, but on the off-chance that it’s some other-worldly demon trying to steal his soul, Seungcheol braces himself for the worst. He rests his hand on the door, ready to tell off the kid (or die painfully), taking a deep breath.
Before he can pull it open, he sees another flash of movement. He turns to the window and suddenly the entire left side of the door is covered in black. Seungcheol drops to the floor, cowering back. He doesn’t realize that he’s screaming until he hears your voice.
He looks up to see you, hair dripping wet, glaring at the window, which isn’t populated by a monster about to pull him apart, but is just a boy, around his age, dressed all in black making silly faces. Seungcheol can feel his ears turning red with embarrassment as you crouch down next to him.
“Are you okay?” You ask, looking genuine.
“Yeah,” he says, accepting your hand to pull himself up.
“It’s just Seokmin,” you say, rolling your eyes. “He thinks it’s funny to try and scare everyone. You get used to it.”
“I don’t think I ever will,” Seungcheol grumbles but he follows you to the door and forces a smile on his face because he doesn’t want your friends to think he’s a sore loser, even if he is.
Seokmin is still laughing when you open the door, which annoys him even more since his laugh is infectious and Seungcheol can’t help but feel smile isn’t as forced.
“I got you so good,” Seokmin says. He backs away, keeping a safe distance, leaving a large plastic bag on the doorstep. “Oh my god, I’ve never heard a grown man scream like that, that was hilarious.”
“Very funny Seokmin,” you say. “Did you bring what I asked?”
“Everything is here!” Seokmin says, as if immune to your passive aggressive tone. “Breakfast, clothes, half the toiletry aisle from CVS, and two rapid tests donated from Jihoon because he said, ‘check and make sure yn hasn’t been murdered because I don’t trust some random man.’”
“You can tell him I’m fine,” you say. “And he should stop being a little bitch and apologize.”
“I’ll pass the message on,” Seokmin says. He turns to Seungcheol. “So, you’ve survived a night with yn?”
“Yeah, I don’t recommend the couch,” Seungcheol says. He doesn’t want your friends to think he did anything strange the night before. “Thanks for the clothes.” Seungcheol lifts the bag and frowns at the pattern that he can see through the opaque bag. From what he can see, he’s doomed.
“No problem!” Seokmin says with a grin. “You can keep them, I was going to donate them anyways.” He winks at you. “Stay safe.”
“Thank you, Seokmin,” you say with a sigh waving goodbye as the door swings shut behind you. You glance at Seungcheol and raise your eyebrows. “You need a shower.”
.
.
Putting it kindly, Seungcheol looks like a Christmas tree from the 80s that was left up year round and then left forgotten to rot in someone’s backyard. The sweater was once bright green, but faded to a strange color that you don’t think actually exists on purpose, and has a swirling bright yellow pattern that’s somehow withstood the test of time to remain neon. Because there isn’t enough going on, the sleeves have a plaid pattern in the same green and yellow, the hemming around the neck and at the bottom is faded red. You have no idea where Seokmin found it, or why a sweater like that was ever designed.
Still, you can’t quite say you regret asking Seokmin to bring the clothes, because as chaotic as it is, he still looks rather cute. His hair is wet from the shower, a mess of curls that seem to be just a little out of place, and you wonder how long he spends styling his hair each day.
“I’m hideous,” he says.
“It’s horrible,” you say, “But you look kind of cute.”
“You’re just trying to make me forget the fact that it was your friend who brought me the sweater,” he says but you see his smile.
“Maybe,” you say, crossing the room to stand in front of him. “Or maybe I think you’re cute.” The last time you were this close to him, he kissed you. A terrible kiss, yes, but you were very nervous, and you know he was too. Now you’re just curious if a second kiss will be as bad.
Before you get the chance to ask, you hear a rumbling sound from Seungcheol’s pocket. He grimaces and pulls out his phone, answering it before he looks at the screen. You take a step back and fold your arms, wondering if you should give him some privacy.
“Hey, what’s up?” Seungcheol says. You can’t quite make out the words of the voice on the other line, but after a moment Seungcheol frowns.
“You’re joking,” Seungcheol says. “How many tests did you take?” There’s a pause before he asks, “So what do you have?” A few moments later, he shakes his head and hangs up the phone, saying, “I’ll talk to you later.”
When he looks up at you, you are suddenly reminded of the night before, when he knocked on your door and told you that he might have given you covid. There’s this look in his eyes that says I’m sorry without him speaking a word.
“So, that was Jeonghan,” he says.
“Your roommate that has covid?”
“Yeah, so apparently he doesn’t have covid?” Seungcheol says, looking exasperated. “I’m really sorry about all of this, but he just called and said his PCR test was negative and he’s feeling a lot better today and he thinks it was just a cold.”
You can’t help but laugh. “Seriously?”
“Yeah, Jeonghan tends to be dramatic,” Seungcheol says. “Listen, I already felt terrible that all of this happened, and now it turns out that it was for no reason, so I really don’t know what I can do to make up for it.”
You tilt your head. “No idea?”
Seungcheol frowns. “No?”
You take another step closer to him, peering into his eyes. He really doesn’t know what you’re implying, so you ignore your pounding heart and smile at him, tentatively resting your hand on his shoulder.
“Oh,” he says. “Maybe a small idea?”
“You should at least try,” you say.
He leans a little closer, and you catch a whiff of his hair, which smells like your own shampoo. “Can I?”
You nod, and this time he doesn’t waste a second before kissing you. He doesn’t freeze like last time, and neither do you, molding your lips against his. After a couple seconds, you can’t help but smile, and Seungcheol pulls away with his own smile. Much better than last time.
“Does that make up for it?” He asks. At some point his hand found its way to your waist.
“It’s a good start,” you say, “But you’ve got to at least ask me out on a second date before you have a chance at fully making up for it.”
“I think I could do that,” Seungcheol says, almost sounding arrogant. It makes you smile. His smile fades after a moment and he sighs.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’ve got to go back and save Jeonghan,” he says. “Joshua might actually kill him when he finds out.” He flashes a smile at you. “But I will call you as soon as we’re done and we can schedule that second date.”
“I like the sound of that,” you say. You nearly jump when he kisses your nose, dropping his hand from your waist and wandering around the house as if nothing happened. He doesn't have much to collect, so it isn’t long before he’s standing in your doorway, poised to leave (and avoiding the flour on the floor).
“I’ll call,” he promises. “Unless Joshua is in jail, then it might take a while, but I’ll call eventually.”
“I know a good lawyer,” you say. “Well, he will be, eventually.” He pushes the door open and walks out, but pauses before letting the door swing shut, turning back to look at you again.
“As chaotic as it was, I’m sort of glad that this happened,” he says. “I mean, obviously I still feel bad that I crashed on your couch for basically no reason, but I got to see a lot more of you, and I really liked it. Being with you.”
“I like you too, dork,” you say. “And if you didn’t crash on my couch I never would have called you back, that was a terrible first date.”
“Yeah, it really was,” he says. He still lingers.
“Don’t you dare forget that we still have a rematch for Mario kart.”
“Oh, liking you means nothing, I will take you down,” Seungcheol says. He smiles at you. “Goodbye, yn.”
“Goodbye, Seungcheol,” you say. He finally lets the door swing shut, walking down the sidewalk. He pauses at the end to wave a final time, then disappears around the corner.
You turn back to your apartment. Though you didn’t even spend twenty-four hours stuck here with him, it already feels emptier without him. You lay back on the couch, thinking about the whirlwind of emotions of the past day, and finally settling on the thought of seeing Seungcheol again. And you smile.
day one of junkissed's svt seasons greetings event
=͟͟͞➳❥ member | college tutor!seungcheol x college student!reader (gn)
=͟͟͞➳❥ genre | fluff, mild angst, hurt/comfort ?
=͟͟͞➳❥ word count | ~2,000
=͟͟͞➳❥ synopsis | getting a degree isn't easy. fortunately, your tutor that you maybe have a crush on is here to help.
=͟͟͞➳❥ warnings | frat president!cheol, mentions of math (yes this is a warning), mutual crushes but they’re both kinda idiots, friends (?) to lovers, really awkward confession scene oops, there's 2 screenshots at the beginning bc i wanted to!
=͟͟͞➳❥ notes | lowercase intended; honestly idk how this happened i promise the rest won’t be angsty like this sjdgkfs it was supposed to be cute but then my brain just kept chugging so. um enjoy !
one reblog = one snowy frat party
you sigh and stand up off the couch, wrapping your scarf around your neck. as much as you hated doing math, you always seemed to jump at the chance to study with seungcheol. the weather had made you reluctant to leave the comfort of your home, but the promise of coffee (and your unfairly attractive tutor) was more than enough to lure you out of the house for a couple hours.
even though your major had almost nothing to do with math, you’re still required to take so many credits of the subject to meet your requirements.
you shrug on your coat and grab your backpack in the dark, shoving your laptop and charger in with notebooks and folders. turning to take one last look around to make sure you aren’t forgetting anything, you shut the door quietly and lock it.
the lady working the shift at the front desk smiles and waves as you walk through the lobby of your apartment complex. “where are you headed?” she asks, setting down her nail file.
“tutoring,” you say, pulling the strap of your backpack higher up your shoulder.
“ooh, that hot guy that comes through here every thursday?”
you giggle. “yeah.”
“well, good luck, baby,” she grins, giving you a very indiscreet wink. “have fun with you man!”
“no– we’re not together,” you explain, feeling your cheeks start to heat in embarrassment. not that you don’t want to be together. you don’t even know if he’s single or not.
“not yet! you never know!”
“i’ll see you later,” you laugh, walking out the front door with a wave behind you.
seungcheol’s house is on the other end of campus where the fraternity houses are. it’s not a far walk, but with the snow still coming down heavily you decide not to risk showing up at his door looking like a total mess. so instead of walking like you usually do, you wait at the bus stop outside your apartment, rushing to find a place under the overhang with a crowd of other students waiting to get to class.
fifteen minutes later, you step off the bus, trudging through the quickly growing piles of snow on the ground up to the door of cheol’s apartment.
it’s only friday afternoon, but lambda phi epsilon is already gearing up for whatever party they’re hosting this weekend. you can hear faint music playing from one of the houses across the street. you wonder why cheol, the current president of the frat, isn’t over there with them, but you don’t dwell on the thought.
you smooth down your jacket and check your hair in the reflection of your phone screen, then take a deep breath and knock twice.
the door swings open immediately, revealing your tutor dressed in his… pajamas. you almost choke, your eyes falling to his flannel pants and collared pajama shirt, the top buttons undone revealing an expanse of smooth skin. the material looks soft, so soft, and you have to physically restrain yourself from reaching out to touch him.
“hey! come on in, it’s cold out there,” he smiles warmly. you snap back to attention, drawing your gaze back up to his face.
“thanks,” you manage, stepping inside. “you look, um. comfortable.”
“i love the snow,” he explains. “perfect weather to stay inside and get cozy for the weekend.”
you raise your eyebrows. “you’re not going to the party later?”
“no?” he questions. “why, are you going?”
your cheeks flare. “no, i’m– work,” you laugh awkwardly as the entirety of the english language disappears from your brain.
he smiles. “cool. you can stay as long as you want, then, i don’t have plans. we can work until you have to leave.”
“sounds great,” you squeak out.
oh, it’s gonna be a long night.
but the night isn’t as long as you thought it would be. it actually goes by pretty quickly, once you sit down and start working. as distracting as seungcheol is, you’ve really gotta learn these concepts before your final.
after many tutoring sessions you’d already figured out that cheol is insanely smart, but it never occurred to you before just how smart he is. not only does he understand the material, he understands it enough to explain everything in a way that makes sense to you— something your teachers could never do. everything just seems to click in your brain when he tells you things like why the angle of elevation is below the shape and not above it. hell, he’s even made his own practice problems for you that aren’t in your book, and after hours of teaching you get them all right, all on your own.
“try using this equation,” he says, gently nudging your elbow.
“huh?” you realize you’ve been staring at him and you whip your eyes back down to the workbook in front of you, embarrassed to be focusing on him and not the actual reason you’re here.
what is the reason you’re here? you wonder, your mind wandering. you went to the math department and signed up for a tutor, and a week later you met him in a private corner of the library to get help before your exam. and after a while, you started meeting him at your apartment, because your sessions ran long after the library had closed for the night. and now you’re sitting in his living room, contemplating every life decision you’ve made up until this point and wondering how the hell you ended up studying triangles with him in his pajamas.
he calls your name again, and you turn your head to look at him. but when you make eye contact, you suddenly feel the overwhelming urge to cry.
“do you wanna stop for now? we’ve been on this for a while, we can switch to something else if you want,” he asks. his eyes are full of concern at the sudden way you’ve stopped responding.
how did you end up falling in love with him?
“i… i think i should go home now,” you choke out. your throat feels like it’s closing up from the effort it takes not to burst into tears in the middle of his house.
“oh,” he says quietly. “are you sure? i have more practice problems for you, here, you can take–”
“why are you so nice to me?” you say abruptly.
he pauses. “i– what?”
“our study sessions go way past the hour set by the university, you make practice problems for me, you invite me to your house in your pajamas. you don’t have to do any of that. you get paid no matter what. why?”
his gaze shifts around the room, from the workbook still lying open on the table to the posters on his wall behind you. “i’m sorry about… this,” he says finally. “we can meet in the library again if you don’t like meeting here. and i would’ve changed, if i knew the pajamas made you uncomfortable.”
“it’s not the pajamas,” you whisper.
“sorry?” he says, not hearing you.
“it’s not the pajamas,” you repeat, louder this time. “it’s you. i… i don’t think i need a tutor anymore,” you say.
your vision begins to blur with tears when you hear him say softly, “okay.”
you grab your things and pack your backpack in record time. cheol holds the door open for you as you shrug your bag onto your shoulder.
“i’ll, uh, talk to the tutoring advisor and tell her you don’t need help anymore,” he says awkwardly as you rush out the door.
“goodbye, cheol,” you say, and turn down the steps to leave.
the sound of the door closing quietly behind you is what finally breaks you. tears stream down your face, burning your skin in contrast to the freezing air.
the snow had stopped while you’d been in his house, slowly turning into slush. you plop down on the sidewalk, not even caring that you’re sitting in a puddle of dirt and ice. not only had you just lost your free homework help, you’ve lost a friend who might’ve maybe been something more, if you hadn’t panicked and run off at the first thought of him.
your nose starts to run and you cry harder, wiping your nose against your sleeve, but it does nothing. you sit on the curb outside in the cold for so long you start shivering, but you don’t have the motivation to get up. a part of you doesn’t want to leave, and you don’t know why.
without the extra practice from cheol, you’ll probably bomb your final, which means having to take even more classes for even more credits next semester.
you hear a squeak behind you, but you don’t look back. whatever it is, it doesn’t matter.
“are you okay?”
a familiar voice calls out, and you force yourself to turn around.
“i mean, you don’t look okay,” he adds. “you’re sitting in front of my house, in the snow.”
you hadn’t even noticed it had started to snow again. “oh.”
“do you want to come inside?” he asks gently.
“no,” you answer immediately, but the cold is starting to get to you. “yes.”
he smiles, and just that makes you feel better. he moves out of the middle of the doorway, leaving room for you to come inside.
you stand up, trying to wipe the snow from your backside, and walk back into his house.
a pot of coffee is already steaming on the countertop, and he pours a mug and hands it to you. “why were you sitting in front of my house, in the snow?” he asks after a moment, giving you a minute to warm up.
“i don’t know,” you admit, sniffling. he hands you a tissue. where did he get that?
as you start to calm down and take in your surroundings, you notice he’s changed into jeans and a sweater.
“you didn’t have to change,” you say quietly.
“i know,” he says. “i, uh… i decided i’m going to the party later.”
“oh.”
“yeah.”
the tension in the room is almost unbearable, but you purposely ignore it, bringing his mug to your lips to drink with shaky hands.
“what did you mean, ‘it’s me’?” he says finally. “what you said earlier.”
you swallow. no running away this time.
“well. um. because you’re too good. at everything.” you close your eyes and sigh. “you’re good at math and you’re good at tutoring and you’re a good person.”
“oh?” he asks cautiously. “is that… a bad thing?”
“i don’t know,” you say,. “i don’t know. you’re too nice to me. i can’t figure it out.”
he smiles, and his hand moves at his side, as if he wants to reach out and touch you, but he stays put. “i–” he swallows. “i think you’re really great. and nice. and i wanted to, i guess, get to know you better. that’s why i suggested meeting outside the library. and why i help you so much. because i do want to help you, but, uh…” he trails off, staring at his feet. “i also want more than that.”
“you do?”
he looks up at you nervously, waiting to see if your reaction is good or bad.
“i also want more than that, i think,” you say quietly.
"do– do you wanna stay for a little while?" he asks, glancing out the window. "it's started snowing again."
you smile. "yeah."
his face brightens. "we can order food or watch tv, or– we could keep studying, whatever you want," he says shyly.
thank you for reading, i hope you enjoyed! if you liked this, reblog or leave an ask or a comment, it shows me you enjoyed this so i know to write more like this in the future!
ෆ synopsis: kwon soonyoung loves too hard and falls in love too quickly, accidentally building a (very false!!!) fuckboy image that he can’t seem to get rid of. when his friends talk him out of proposing to a girl he went on 2 dates with, he finally realizes he has a big problem with love. signing up to appear on his university’s most popular youtube talk show to unload his baggage and fix his image? what could possibly go wrong?
ෆ pairing: college student! ksy x reader (gn)
ෆ genre: fluff, humor, romance
ෆ series warnings: anxiety/insecurities, cursing, food/drinks, ksy’s character is extremely 🥺🤧
ෆ status: completed
ෆ started: feb 1st - may 23rd, 2022
ෆ a/n: I noticed that i tend to write a lot along the lines of angst or serious/mature themes so i'm really excited to switch to something more relaxed, fluffy, and feel-good. this is 100% a comfort fic. please let me know if I missed any warnings!
synopsis : people say that you’ll experience three kinds of love in your lifetime. the first is an idealistic love, the kind that feels straight out of a fairy tale. the second is the hard love, the kind that will leave you with lessons about yourself and the love you want and need to experience. finally, the love you never see coming. this is the story of your three loves.
pairing : svt 97 line x gn!reader
notes : non-idol au, coming of age, angst, fluff, my attempts at humor
will probably contain : food mentions, suggestive humor / content
taglist : open ! send an ask or reply to this post <3
synopsis : fans reminisce on your relationship with seungcheol
pairing : rapper!seungcheol x gn!, actor!reader
genre/s : mini smau, angst, fluff, some humor mixed in
part one : memory lane | part two : hopelessly devoted | part three : beginning, middle, the end
from reese, with love <3
highkey inspired by a vague memory of what my tl looked like when hyuna and dawn broke up and as you can see... this is a three-parter hehe. no promises on when the next parts will be out, but if you want to be tagged for the other parts, just send me an ask or reply to this post :) thank you for reading! i'd really love to know what you think for this one bec i had a lot of fun making it :> hope you're all doing well and taking care !
warnings: reader experiences sleep deprivation, curse words, reader is a b*tch to cheol cuz of sleep deprivation and an annoying manager
author's notes: i have returned with more (not proofread) writing !
Your eyes were practically filled with lead as you stared at your computer screen, the design you had opened on Photoshop blurring as consciousness continues to slip past your fingers. Whatever you had planned on fixing with the design in front of you was long gone with your sanity and will to stay awake. As darkness surrounds you, all you could hear is the clicking of your mouse and keyboard, your department completely empty aside from you.
Your eyes flickered to the bottom corner of your screen; 08:24 PM, it read. Everyone else in the department had gone home, at six, but because your annoying, and cutthroat new team manager was giving you so much crap for the designs you submitted for next quarter’s social media, you were forced to work later to fix the mistakes she had pointed out.
It wasn’t unusual for the design team to stay later in the office to finish up projects, but your former team manager never allowed anyone to stay past seven. Safe to say, your new team manager didn’t care—all she cared about was that you work quick, and efficient. If it requires staying overnight at the office, then better bring out your neck pillow.
“Hello? Is someone still here?” Jumping in your chair, you looked over the dividers of your cubicle, spotting Seungcheol, an employee in the Marketing division, standing by the door.
Raising your hand, you announced, “I am.”
Seungcheol’s eyes squinted, trying to spot you through the dark before his eyebrows knitted together in confusion upon seeing you in the empty room. “Y/N? What are you still doing here?” His footsteps echoed throughout the empty room, approaching you and seating himself in the cubicle beside you. “Working on something?”
You weakly nodded, sleep returning to fog your brain. “I have revisions from Hyunhee.”
“Hyunhee?”
“Our new team manager,” you grumbled, just thinking about the woman made your head ache in annoyance. “Since Jiha is on maternal leave, I have to handle both hers and my own projects, and Hyunhee—safe to say—” you motioned to the empty room “—she’s a pain in my ass.”
Seungcheol couldn’t help but chuckle, shaking his head. “And this?” He nodded his head towards your computer.
“It’s for next quarter’s Instagram feed, but Hyunhee has a completely different idea to what my former team manager had, so she hates every single thing that I’ve given her.”
“Really? She’s that bad?”
You nod, your lips jutting out slightly as you recall how terrible Hyunhee was to you since she became the team manager. “I don’t get it, though—don’t get me wrong, she’s a nightmare to everyone, but it feels especially bad when it comes to me.”
“How come?”
“It might be because on her first day, I had a septum piercing, and she called me out on that saying it’s unprofessional and that I should remove it,” you explained, the design on your computer long forgotten as you shifted in your chair to face Seungcheol. Your brows furrowed upon a realization, “Wait, why are you still here?”
“I left at six, but came back because I forgot my phone charger,” he explained, “and since the janitor was mopping up the area in front of the lift, I chose to go down the stairs and walked past here and noticed the light in your cubicle.”
“It must be nice having an overbearing manager,” you mumbled, adding, “you can leave once work hours are over.”
“Why don’t you continue it tomorrow, Y/N?” He takes a gander at your work. “It looks good, too, you can do finishing touches tomorrow morning.”
“Because Hyunhee wants it tomorrow, before she comes in,” you responded, the urge to cry out of frustration growing stronger. “And this design is the one that she rejected, all of it.” You couldn’t but chuckle at Seungcheol when he stares at you with widened eyes, shocked.
“Is this even allowed? I get staying an hour after work hours end, but it’s almost nine, Y/N.”
“She doesn’t really care, just cares that the project is complete and placed on her desk when she asked for it,” you informed him, and immediately looked away as he stares at you in pity. It’s pathetic, really, to feel obligated to invest so much time and energy for something you knew could be completed within working hours. Maybe you were scared of Hyunhee. Rumors say that she got the job as team manager because she is indirectly connected to the Chief of Operation in your company, and you didn’t want to find out what would happen if you crossed the line.
Or in this case, submit a late project.
“Do you want me to accompany you while you work on this? I don’t mind staying in late,” Seungcheol offered, and your heart couldn’t help but melt at his offer. You couldn’t lie that being accompanied by an attractive guy as the hours grow late wasn’t a bad thing—it could help keep you awake, too, but you felt bad. This wasn’t Seungcheol’s project to complete, it was (unfortunately) yours.
So, you shook your head, giving him a reassuring smile, “No need, Cheol. I might go home in twenty minutes, and continue then.”
“I’ll accompany you until then, Y/N,” he states, sitting back and crossing his arms over his chest to indicate he wasn’t going to move.
“Seriously, Cheol, you can go home, I’ll be fine.”
He only shakes his head, standing (or sitting) his ground. He then nods his head towards your abandoned project. “Go on, Y/N, move it to your USB.”
As you move the files to your flash drive, Seungcheol stood from the chair, eyes wandering around your cubicle space, noticing the little pictures you had all around the walls of the divider—there were a few of you with your friends and family, none that came off to be anything more than platonic.
Why was he even looking to see if you had a partner or not? His cheeks heated at the realization when his heart raced at the possibility of you being single.
“Seungcheol?”
“I’m sorry, Y/N, what?” You couldn’t help but chuckle seeing his flustered face beneath the dim lighting of your cubicle. Your interactions with Seungcheol aren’t daily, but they’re enough to have you form an interest towards the Marketing division employee. He’s also the only one from the Marketing division that doesn’t give ridiculous deadlines like the rest of his team.
“I’m ready,” you repeated, and he nodded, taking a step back to allow you to walk ahead of him after turning off your desk lamp and the two of you left the office.
“Do you usually stay at the office this long?” Seungcheol asks as the two of you stepped into the elevator, and you shake your head no before answering, leaning your back against the metal walls.
“Not really, I get really bad headaches if I stay up too long, so safe to say I’m going to have a blast tomorrow at work,” you answered with a bitter chuckle. “It wouldn’t be a problem if right when I get home, I sleep, but I still have a lot to fix before tomorrow morning, so…” You trailed off with a shrug, Seungcheol’s look of concern not going unnoticed, causing you to chuckle. “It’s fine, Cheol… I’ll be fine.”
He only nodded, not convinced enough but didn’t press on. “Did you drive here?”
“Yeah, I did.” He nodded, and that was the end of your conversation as the two of you bid goodbye before climbing into your cars and driving separate directions towards your homes. As you had told him, the moment you stepped into your apartment, you didn’t directly fall into the soft covers of your bed, knowing well enough that the second your head touches your fluffed up pillow, you’d be out like a light.
So, you placed your work laptop onto your coffee table, arranging your pillows in a way that allowed you to sit on your wooden floor without flattening your butt. You brewed up a shot of espresso, ordering something to snack on as you turned on your personal laptop for an ambience. Once you felt that you could comfortably continue the project, you put on your headphones and got to work, eyes flickering between the laptop and the sheet of paper that Hyunhee had revised, making sure that all details she demanded of were there.
It was 4:52 AM when you finally finished everything, double checking and adjusting all elements before saving and resting your head on your arms that were folded on the coffee table. Despite downing two cups of iced coffee, the caffeine could not completely erase your exhaustion and soon enough, you awoke to your alarm, indicating that it was already eight in the morning, and you needed to be in the office before nine-thirty.
As you pushed yourself up, your head immediately spun, your vision blurring and for a couple seconds, an aching feeling pierced through your skull, forcing you to have to sit for a minute to let it pass. Damn it, today was going to be difficult to get through with your obvious sleep deprivation. Not even taking an ibuprofen could aid the headache that was going to worsen the longer you stayed awake, but you couldn’t call in sick, especially an hour before the day starts. Hyunhee has always nagged about last-minute excuses, asking (demanding) all of you to inform her 24 hours before, and anything after would not be allowed.
Pushing yourself, you quickly showered, deciding to grab breakfast on the way and within twenty minutes, you were out of your apartment and on the way to the office. Upon arrival, you practically sprinted to your office, eyes locking with your co-workers as they stare at you and shake their heads, indicating that Hyunhee hasn’t arrived yet. With a sigh of relief, you tip-toe into your supervisor’s office, placing the printed results and found your cubicle, practically falling onto your chair.
“Hey, Y/N, you okay?” You glance over at Yeeun, finding her staring at you with a look of concern. “You look really pale, Y/N, how much sleep did you get last night?”
“Barely any,” you answered with a pout, grabbing your phone to see your face. Although, you couldn’t really tell the difference. You did feel terrible, but safe to say, work isn’t that fun for you to put on so much effort for a job that doesn’t pay you enough. “I finished the Youngbok project just this morning.”
“Seriously? You’re still working on that?”
Before you could answer, Hyunhee bid everyone a good morning as she entered the department, her heels clicking against the ceramic floor as she walks into her office. You could only share a knowing look with your co-worker as you sunk into your chair.
It was good twenty minutes of peace in the Graphic Designs department, the clicking of keyboard and mice, and soft murmuring of the employees filling the air before a shrill yell emerged from Hyunhee’s office, a shiver running up your spine as you realized in your sleep deprived state that she had called you.
Yeeun shared the same look of genuine fear with you, as everyone stared at you with wide-eyes. You stood from your chair, the steps you took to Hyunhee’s office felt heavy, as if the soles of your shoes were filled with lead. Dread began to fill your body to the tips of your hair as you gently knock on your superior’s door, her eyes glaring at you before staring at the sheets of printed out designs you had laid out. You entered her office after excusing yourself in a tone nothing higher than a whisper, and she glances between the door and you, signaling you to close the door.
This isn’t going to end well, you couldn’t help but think as you push the door, the clicking of the lock practically echoing throughout the department, everyone outside of where you were, were sat at the edge of their seat, fearing for what was about to happen.
There was a deafening silence as you stood in front of her desk, watching as she flips through your designs, and you felt yourself disassociating for a second, in a daze as your eyes gloss over while staring at her crossing out everything with her wretched red marker.
A slam of the compiled prints against the ceramic floor broke your daze, and you found your designs by your feet, on the floor.
If you were pale from sleep deprivation then, you were now pale from pure fear.
“What the hell is that?”
“I-it’s the revised designs you asked of me,” you stutter, internally beating yourself up for sounding so scared.
“Are you sure? Because I asked for designs, not pure rubbish, Y/N,” she insults, her words laced purely with venom as she stares you down. Not knowing what to say, you stayed quiet and she took that opportunity to berate you even more. “I don’t understand what Mr. Kim had saw in you, but it sure as well wasn’t anything good, because how is that you have worked in this department for so long, and yet, are incapable of providing compelling designs, hm?”
“I’m sorry, Hyunhee, I will work on it and fix everything I did wrong,” you quickly apologized, kneeling down to pick up the papers.
She leans forward, resting her chin atop her hands, as she glares at you. “I want them today, before you leave the office—even if that means you have to spend the night here, I don’t care.”
“I-I understand,” you muttered, ducking your head.
“Leave.” She didn’t have to tell you twice before you dipped out of her office, tossing the paper onto your desk and slumped into your seat. You wanted to cry. You wanted to cry and scream, but you didn’t want to give Hyunhee the satisfaction that she actually broke you apart. All eyes were on you, however, everyone knew better than to bother or ask someone after they had faced the devil incarnate. Yeeun found it difficult to turn a blind eye on your obvious disoriented state, from both sleep deprivation and having faced Hyunhee so early in the morning, but she knew you’d snap if she even poked you.
You wanted to leave, walk out of the office because you believed you didn’t deserve to be treated like that unwarranted, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t bring your feet to stand up and walk out that door knowing well enough that you can never come back in. You would have lost your job—all the work that you put into this job for the past year would be thrown out the window because a woman that has barely sat in that office feels that she has power over you, and your future. In a way, she did. Her words will always go against yours, and hers—backed by the connections that got her this job with minimal experience in graphic design—would always prevail.
So, all you could was listen and work on the revisions she had given. No word had left your lips since you had left Hyunhee’s office, and no one bothered you as you put on earphones and focused on the project opened. Your break times consisted of staying seated in your chair, opening YouTube to watch some video that you couldn’t pay attention to, watching it for five minutes before closing and continuing the project.
Before you knew it, shades of orange had begun to bleed through the blinds of the office, people were packing up and sparing pitiful glances as they bid each other goodbye, their wary gaze not unnoticed by you. Nonetheless, you paid them no mind, completely set on finishing everything before the day ends. You were lucky enough to gain at least thirty minutes of sleep because Hyunhee had left the office early, allowing for you to close your eyes with no fear of being woken up by the she-demon.
You were tempted on sleeping, anyway, knowing well enough you’d wake up with an ache in your neck and an unfinished assignment. Your eyes were closing slowly, your screen blurring as you felt sleep take over you, only to jump, a scream exiting your lips when you felt a hand grasp your shoulder.
“Oh my—I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Seungcheol profusely apologized when he noticed the tears brimming at your eyes from the genuine scare. “I called you earlier, but I didn’t see you wearing earphones.”
Too tired, too angry, you couldn’t muster up a comment, only shrugging off his hand as you turned your head to your computer, the jolt from Seungcheol giving you a bit of energy to work off of.
“Hey, I heard, by the way, from everyone that Hyunhee gave you an earful,” he stated, sitting besides you.
You couldn’t help but scoff, “An earful? That’s an understatement.”
“Are you okay, Y/N?”
Aggravated, you removed both earbuds from your ears, spinning with a sharp turn on your chair to face Seungcheol, your brows furrowed and fury running through your veins. All you ask is to not be disturbed until you get this stupid, cursed project done, was that so much? “Do I look okay, Seungcheol?”
Noticing your hostile behaviour, his expression mirrored yours, with a touch of worry found in the glint of his eyes. “I’m just trying to make sure you’re okay, Y/N. I don’t mean to be rude, if that’s how I come off right now.”
“Well, you do, alright?” You lifted your earphones, waving it in front of him. “If I have these on, it’s a universal sign that I don’t want to talk to anyone—you noticed them, why are you bothering me right now?”
Taken aback by your words, he was stunned—his mouth opened then closed, unsure on how to react to your sudden behaviour. He has never seen you this angry, not even when ranting about Hyunhee. You watched as his jaw clenched, momentarily looking away as if that would allow him to cool down, before he clapped his hands on his knees and stood from his chair.
“You’re obviously exhausted, Y/N, Yeeun told me you barely slept that might be why you’re being the way you are right now,” Seungcheol pointed out, “I’ll leave you alone, alright? I’m so sorry that I actually give a shit about you, and wanted to make sure you were okay.” Before you could take back all you had said, Seungcheol was out the door, leaving you in your office alone, the darkness encompassing you, seeping deep within to your bones.
The one person that genuinely was there for you, only ever cared for you, and put him on the receiving end of your shitty day. Way to go, Y/N.
Rubbing your eyes with the heels of your palm, whatever energy you had to work on the project was thrown out the window, and you couldn’t find it in yourself to continue clicking the mouse or tapping the keyboard, not with the guilt from how you spoke to Seungcheol still plaguing your thoughts. You weren’t going to get anything done at this point.
Packing your things, you quickly rushed out to your car, praying that he didn’t completely hate you as you drove to his apartment. You weren’t sure what you were going to do once you got there, but what you were sure was that you’ll grovel, and hope he forgives you for being such an ass, unwarranted. Upon arrival, you practically jumped out of your car, rushing up the evacuation steps to his floor, and reached up to knock, but paused.
What if he doesn’t forgive you? It’s not like your friendship with him was more than as acquaintances. He didn’t have anything to lose with losing you, but you felt you had everything to lose with losing him. He was the first person you got to know in this stupid company—as he mentored you during your internship in the company. Then, after you graduated college, you reached out again, and applied for the Graphic Design division. Seungcheol guided you ever since, and admittedly, you’ve grown fond of him—you admired him as a role model, and more.
He’s not obligated to forgive you, but you already came this far, might as well give it a try?
Taking a deep breath, you gently knocked on his door a few times, hearing rustling on the other side before the door swung open, revealing Seungcheol already out of his work clothes, and in a plain white tee and grey sweatpants. “I thought I said just leave it by the— Y/N?”
“Sorry, I forgot your delivery at the restaurant,” you improved, causing Seungcheol’s thick brows to furrow before he chuckled, your joke successfully amusing him.
“What are you doing here?”
“It’s definitely not to deliver your food, that’s for sure,” you awkwardly smiled, feeling your heart race from seeing him in such a laid-back outfit. You had never seen Seungcheol wear anything other than the button-ups and slacks you were used to seeing at the work, so seeing him look so… cozy, was a sight you wish to never grow tired of.
The corner of Seungcheol’s lips tilted upwards, but he didn’t laugh. Leaning against the frame of his door, he crossed his (muscular) arms over his chest, waiting for an explanation as to why you suddenly appeared at his front door.
“Look, Seungcheol—”
“Delivery for Choi Seungcheol.” A new voice caused you to jump, both your heads turning to see the delivery boy appear from the turn, his eyes looking questioningly at both you and your acquaintance. “Choi Seungcheol?”
“That’s me, thanks,” Seungcheol uttered, reaching out and taking the plastic bags from the delivery boy, the latter leaving with a tilt of his hat towards you and disappearing past the corner.
“As I was—” You turn to face Seungcheol again, but he, too, disappeared. You peeked into his apartment to find him pulling out his order, arranging them on his coffee table before sitting on the floor. He glances up at you, wordlessly waving for you to come in, and unsure what else to do, you obliged, closing the door behind you and slipping your feet out your shoes.
“I didn’t expect company, but dig in if you want,” he uttered, handing you a pair of chopsticks. It was only then did you realize that you barely ate today, too occupied with the stupid project. “If it’s not enough, we can always order more.”
“Seungcheol, I’m trying to apologize to you,” you spoke up, head tilted down at your knees. “I’m really sorry for taking my anger out on you… You of all people didn’t deserve it…”
When Seungcheol didn’t respond, you looked up to find him slurping up jjajangmyeon, eyes trained on his TV. “Are you serious?”
He glanced over at you, stifling a laugh before wiping his mouth with tissue, “I thought you were going to go on a full rant, at least three paragraphs.”
You pouted, “Me coming here was on a whim, I didn’t really prepare anything.”
He found your defeated expression adorable, couldn’t help but chuckle as he pushes a bowl towards you, adding the noodles onto the empty space before tapping the rim, gesturing for you to eat. “You’re really pale, Y/N, did you eat anything today?”
“Probably cup noodles,” you mumbled, eyes glimmering at the sight of the thickly coated noodles. “I couldn’t really do anything other than work on that stupid project.”
“Hyunhee made you stay late again?” You nodded, your cheeks full of the noodles. “Look, Y/N, I know you love being a graphic designer, but do you really think it’s alright to work under someone like her? This seems like she’s abusing her power as team manager, and overworking you.” As he spoke, he reached out with a tissue in hand, wiping the corner of your lips. Why did he look so nonchalant about it, too?
“I don’t want to quit, though, I’ve been here longer than she has, why do I have to leave?” You complained once you swallowed the noodles. “I just… I hate it, you know? I’ve just been trying so damn hard, yet nothing ever works out… Especially since she came into the picture.”
There was a brief moment of silence.
“How about transferring divisions?” Seungcheol quipped, continuing, “I’m sure if you make a letter of intent to the department manager, you could be moved to a different division where Hyunhee doesn’t exist.”
“Is that possible?”
He nodded. “Did you think I was always in the Marketing division?”
“I honestly thought you’d be a finance guy.”
“I was.” Your widened eyes caused him to laugh. “Then I moved, it was a few months before you came in as an intern.”
“Really?” He nods, and you thought about it. “You think I’d be allowed to move divisions?”
“Yeah, why not? If you give a good reason to why you should be moved, then it’s possible.” You pondered over the suggestion, the two of you letting a few minutes of silence pass while eating before you spoke up again.
“But I don’t want to leave the department.”
“Then ask to be transferred to a different division.”
“What about your division?” Seungcheol stares at you with bewildered eyes, genuinely surprised at your suggestion. “I mean, it’s less work for you since I already have experience working with you, and I won’t need a mentor—I already know the head, so that’s also less work.”
“No, not mine, Y/N,”
“Why not?”
“It’s a violation of our code of conducts, Y/N, don’t you know?”
“What about me moving to your division violates the code of conducts?”
“Employees from the same division are not allowed to fraternize with one another,” he explains, “if you move to my division, we’ll be co-workers.”
“So? It’s not like we’re dating.”
“Not yet.”
“Sure—” You froze, the chopsticks you raised to your lips dropping back into the bowl. “—What?”
“What?” Seungcheol asked, nonchalant. His tone might’ve been nonchalant and unbothered, but you could see from his cheeks to the points of his ears were flushed a bright red under the warm lighting of his living room.
“You like me?”
He shrugged, “Why do you think I walk by your office every day?”
“I thought you only did that because the janitor was cleaning the floor.”
He inhaled a deep breath, releasing the heavy sigh before standing to grab water from the kitchen, ruffling your hair on the way. “You’re very oblivious, Y/N.”
“S-so, all this time?”
“Not all this time, Y/N, I just know that I see you more than just an acquaintance,” he explains, tossing you a bottle of water. “But that’s not important right now. Right now we need to get you out of Hyunhee’s team.”
How… How is he able to continue this conversation after admitting to having feelings for you? How is he so calm?
He wasn’t. If you looked closer, the only reason why he tossed you the bottle was because if he handed it to you, then you’d most likely notice his shaking hands. The only reason why he changed the topic was because the longer you talk about him and his feelings, the redder he’ll be and to be honest, he likes to come off calm and collected to you, despite being the complete opposite when it comes to being near you.
“You’ll help me with that?”
Seungcheol nods. “Of course I would—just think of me as a helping hand now, Y/N. I help you, and you can help me when the time comes.”
“And what would you need help with, Choi Seungcheol?”
“I have two tickets to movie Saturday night, I’ll need help to make sure the other ticket doesn’t go to waste, Y/N,” he proposed, causing your cheeks to ache from the smile on your face. “But right now, I need help finishing this food. Are you up for it?”
You chuckled, nodding, “I’ll gladly give you a helping hand.”
author's notes: i tried to keep the reader gender neutral, so apologies if some parts are a bit confusing. Also, thank you for 300 followers !! you guys are the reason why i can never escape my delusions (affectionate) <3
“Y/N, get up, we’re going to be late.”
The incessant knocking at the door of your apartment pulled you out of your slumber, your eyelids peeling open slowly as you blinked at the door, your lips pouted slightly as you tried to collect all functioning braincells to gather.
“Y/N, I know you’re awake.” You sat straight up when you recognized the voice of Minghao. Groggily, you rubbed the sleep from your eyes as you walked towards your door, pulling it open to find Minghao already fully dressed for class today.
“Good morning,” he grinned, eyeing you from your disheveled hair, to your bare feet. “We’re going to be late.”
You groaned, rolling your eyes before showing the time on your phone screen to your friend. 08:52. “Class doesn’t start until eleven-thirty.” You expected Minghao would be flustered because you looked past through his empty threat, but instead, the man in front of you scoffed, as if expecting your reaction.
“You promised we’d get breakfast together.’
“I did?” You queried, stilling.
“Yeah, we reserved a table earlier in the week and we have to be there before nine-thirty.” Oh yeah, you thought, guilt rushing to heat the apples of your cheeks before you wordlessly turned on your heels and grabbed a towel by your door, entering your bathroom. Minghao’s laughter didn’t go unnoticed as you closed the door with a slam.
“What were you doing last night? You don’t usually wake up this late in the day even if your class was in the afternoon,” Minghao asked when you were done showering, and dressed.
“What do you think?” You countered, pulling on a jacket since the weather was getting colder by the hour. “Are you done with Park’s assignment?” Minghao only shook his head. “I wanted to do little-by-little but last night, I had a sudden boost in motivation and am now three-quarters done with it.”
He gave you a look, as if shocked that you were able to do so much in one night, especially for an assignment that isn’t due until next week. “So, you were up until what time?”
“Two,” you answered a sigh. Grabbing your wallet and phone, you stuffed the items into your bag before slinging over your shoulder, “I’m ready, let’s go.” With a satisfied grin, Minghao pushed himself off of your couch before you followed him towards his car, the scent of his cologne wafting in the air as he walked past you. You tried to ignore how the sweet, citrus scent tugged at your heart, by shaking your head.
A little back story of how you and Minghao became friends? Well, he likes you. A lot. He even had the guts to confess his feelings for you, but once again, you decided against having a relationship with him. With anyone really.
You could vividly remember when he confessed to liking you in a romantic way. How nonchalant he spoke as the two of you sat beside one another at the local café you both frequent after classes, how after he spoke the five words; “I really like you, Y/N”, he simply took a sip of the jasmine tea he ordered, not realizing how you were staring at him as if you were a deer caught in headlights. A confession was not your Tuesday afternoon bingo, especially not from Minghao.
Nonetheless, he was understanding when you told him you weren't looking to be in a relationship any time soon. He was respectful, and for some reason, you hated that. You hated how he understood, told you that he wanted the weight off his chest, and continued his day as if nothing happened. You tried to do the same, you really did. You kept talking to him that day like you usually do—complaining about your professors, and how your next door neighbor has the worst sleep schedule on earth. You thought you were able to stay neutral with the situation after Minghao’s confession.
Unfortunately, your brain kept telling you no to having a normal friendship with Minghao. A little voice in the back of your head kept echoing throughout your thoughts how having feelings involved in a friendship is just a recipe for disaster.
So, you did the best thing you could do. You avoided Minghao. However, your efforts were fruitless, Minghao was a persistant guy—not in the way that he’d force you to be in relationship with him, but in the way that if you showcase obvious signs that you’re trying to pull away, he’d at least want you to explain. He’s not the type to leave things undone, especially with someone he obviously cares for.
He looked for you—from classes to your apartment, hoping to finally catch you so the both of you could talk things through. You meant a lot to Minghao, and he didn’t want his uncontrollable feelings to get in the way of a potential friendship that could last if you both tried. College was a tough journey, and having to deal with it alone is a one-way ticket to insanity.
When he finally caught you off guard at your apartment, you caved and let him in, explaining the best you could as to why you distanced yourself from it. You weren’t sure whether you’d be able to have a friendship with him, knowing well enough that by keeping him by your side as simply a friend would hurt him somehow because you couldn’t reciprocate his feelings. You expressed to him that you weren’t looking to have any romantic relationship, joking about how you were dating your major because of how much time and energy you’re already placing onto it.
Minghao, as always, understood. He wouldn’t have stayed by your side if he didn’t understand that feelings are out of our own control.
You smiled at him when he reached out, wrapping his arms around you as he hugged you tight, reassuring you that he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, and that you can’t get rid of him. Not until you both held your diplomas, but he was sure even after that, he’d want to stay in contact with you. You were one of the few people he genuinely enjoyed being around, and you could say the same to him.
Thus, it only took time until the inevitable happened.
Either, you were to start liking him, or he starts unliking you.
“I think it’s happened already but you’re too in denial to realize it,” Jieqiong once told you after you explained about your situation with Minghao. She’s a good friend to you, but you knew she couldn’t be how Minghao is to you. She’s always been supportive of your friendship with him, and although you tell her the possibilities of you and Minghao dating was slim, she lowkey thought you two look good together.
“What?” You asked, glancing back from where you were laying down in her room.
“What you said—either, he’s already stopped liking you or you’re beginning to like him, Y/N,” she points out, and proceeded to ask about an assignment in one of your shared classes, the topic immediately changed.
Her words echoed throughout your head. You hated how easily it had become something you were worried about—if you didn’t care about Minghao that way, why would you worry if his feelings began to fade? If you didn’t see him as more than a friend, why did the thought of having romantic feelings towards him cause an immense fear within you?
Minghao noticed your lack of focus when you were both in class and you barely registered anything the professor had explained, panic enveloping you as a test was announced to take place next meeting.
“Are you okay, Y/N?” He asked while packing his things, noticing you frantically flip through the pages of your binder, trying to find any notes you had mindlessly written down. You found none.
You sent him a weak smile, “Barely got any sleep last night finishing up Park’s assignment, I didn’t focus today.” It wasn’t entirely a lie, since you did finish up the assignment but you didn’t get enough sleep because of the assignment, it was all Jieqiong’s words that kept you up.
“You can borrow my notes, you know?” He offered and you smiled gratefully. “By the way, Y/N—” you turned to him, throwing the strap of your bag over your shoulder, your attention towards your friend. “Mingyu and Seokmin are planning to go to a bar tomorrow night, do you want to join so we can carpool together?”
A night out felt like something you need, and alcohol might be a good idea to let your nerves loose for one evening.
“Are you drinking?” Minghao shook his head, answering, “D-and-D.” Designated driver.
You only nodded, “I’d like that.”
Little did you know the night would’ve ended in a dark blur, and you woke up in your bed, a raging headache stirring you awake as the memories of last night began to flood into your head.
“I like you, too, Minghao, I’ve liked you for a while, but I wasn’t sure how to tell you.” The words echoed throughout your head as you groaned, massaging your aching temples as you could envision yourself hanging onto Minghao’s shoulders as he helped you into his car, deciding that you had enough last night.
“I like you, too, Minghao.”
Fuck, did you really confess your feelings to him under the influence? The blood completely drained from your face, your heart racing as you hoped to whatever entity was out there that you were dreaming—that those words were uttered in your dream and not in reality. You hoped—you prayed that you didn’t just screw up your friendship with the one and only guy you truly cared for in your life, that you didn’t just mess everything up because you allowed yourself to fall for him. You can’t like him, what if he doesn’t like you anymore? What will you do when he slowly starts pulling away, like you did when he first confessed? And what if this time, you don’t chase after him and allow him to leave, just like every other unrequited crush?
You never perceived yourself as a selfish person, but with Minghao, you didn’t want him to leave you.
A knock broke you from your spiral into despair, but when you heard the familiar voice, cold nerves rushed through your veins. “Y/N, are you awake?”
Begrudgingly, you stood up and stalked towards your door, looking through the peephole and seeing Minghao dressed in a hoodie, something in a plastic bag in his hand as the other was stuffed into his pocket, waiting for you to open the door. You took repeated deep breaths, hoping it'll calm your racing heart, but to no avail.
“Hey,” you greeted weakly as you pulled your door open enough to show your face, but give the message that you didn't intend to have him come in.
“Hey, how's your head?” Gosh, can he please not care for once? It's making things harder.
“Hurts, but I'll manage.” Your eyes glanced at the plastic bag by his side. “What's that?”
“I stole hangover soup from Mingyu’s fridge, you'll just need to warm it up in the microwave or stove.” He reached out, waiting for you to take it from his hand. You only stared at it with a hard look, chewing mindlessly on your inner lip. Minghao notices your conflicted expression, his arm slowly returning back to his side. “Are you okay, Y/N?”
You didn't look up. You started blankly at the floor as you uttered, “Forget what I said last night, Hao.”
There was a pregnant pause.
“You remember?”
“Just… forget anything happened, anything I said.” The heavy sigh that left his lip caused you to look up at him, finding an irritated look etched across his face.
He closed his eyes briefly, a crease appearing between his knitted brows as he reaches up at pinched the bridge of his nose. You're doing it again, he couldn't help but think.
“You expect me to forget, Y/N? You expect me to act like you didn't just admit to liking me, when all this time, I still like you as well?” He asked you, almost dumbfounded that you had the audacity to ask him to do such a thing. “Why?”
“Because…” Don't say it, don't— “Because I regret it, Hao. I regret telling you that.”
“Bullshit.” His harsh tone caused you to wince, closing your eyes briefly to avoid the glare he sent you. “You're doing it again, Y/N. You're running away.”
“I'm not—” You exhaled heavily. “I'm not running away, I'm telling you—”
“You're lying to me, Y/N! To yourself, most of all.” You clenched your jaw. You shouldn't have answered the door, you should've acted like you were still asleep. “Let me in, so we can talk about this.”
“There's nothing for us to talk about—”
“Talking about what happened last night is better than either of us acting like it never happened,” he interjected, “at least then, we'd know what we think about it—what I think about because right now, Y/N, you're making all decisions.”
Knowing that he won't back down, with a sigh, you stepped to the side, and Minghao stepped in after taking his shoes off. Without saying a word, you poured the hangover soup into a bowl and placed it in the microwave, and pressed the reheat setting.
“What do you remember from last night?” He leaned against your counter, arms crossed over his chest as he started at you from the across the room.
“I remember everything up until my sixth shot, and everything after that was blurry, but I know that I confessed to you in the car after you helped me in,” you explained, fidgeting with your fingers and avoiding his sharp gaze. “After that I fell asleep… I think.”
He was silent for a moment, eyes locked on the number counting down on the screen of your microwave.
“You forgot one thing,” he said after a while. You cocked your head to side in confusion, waiting for him to tell you. “I asked you something after your confession. Do you remember?”
You racked through the memories of last night, most of which were lost in a drunken haze. You can't remember—the most significant part of last night besides Mingyu doing the robot on the bar counter, was your confession.
You shook your head, and Minghao nodded, understanding. “I asked you why you didn't tell me sooner because you said you've liked me for a while. Do you know what you said?”
Again, you shook your head.
“You said you were scared. You didn't say why because as you said, you fell asleep before I could get more answers.” You froze upon hearing that. You seriously need to rethink choosing drinking as a stress reliever.
Your eyes then widened as you watched him take a step forward, eyes locked with yours. “So, Y/N, tell me—” He was now in front of you “—why are you scared of loving?”
You stared at his deep brown eyes; his gaze was not accusing you of being incapable of love. It was full of sincerity, genuine curiosity, trying to break the wall you've so clearly built all these years, to protect something—and Minghao wanted to know what that something was. What he knew was that whatever it was, it was preventing you from allowing yourself to explore more.
“A lot,” you said, your words barely above a whisper and you weren't sure if he heard, but when his eyes softened, you knew he did. “I'm… I'm scared that by allowing myself to… to love and be loved, that I'm allowing myself to be vulnerable to heartbreak and disappointment, that I'm willing to put myself at risk of emotional turmoil—to get hurt… And, I don't know if I'll be able to get through that alone.”
Your words processed through Minghao’s head, before he sighed softly, and pulled you into him, his hand rubbing reassuringly on your back. The familiar warmth that naturally radiated from him wrapped itself around you, and your arms lifted, returning his hug as you closed you eyes, breathing in his sweet cologne.
The ding of the microwave broke the atmosphere, and Minghao sent you a sheepish smile before retrieving the bowl and gesturing for you to sit. He watched you silently as you took sips of the broth, sighing in content as the flavors danced on your taste buds, the headache fading with each spoonful.
He still hasn't said anything, you noted, and you were almost finished.
“You're not going to say anything?” You finally asked, only the broth left in your bowl.
“I was waiting for you to finish eating first.” You only nodded, pushing the bowl away from you, and then leaned back, staring at him as you waited for him to respond to what you said earlier.
“You wouldn't be alone, Y/N,” he started, drawing random doodles with his fingertip on the surface of the table. “The thing about relationships is that you're not alone. You can talk to me about anything, whatever is going on, all your worries—communication is key in keeping a relationship strong,” he explained,
“Can I guarantee that you'll never experience heartbreak or disappointment? No, I can't, but allowing yourself to be vulnerable to face them is a part of the journey, to allow yourself to grow from those low points, and being in a relationship, it just means you won't face them alone.
“The thing is, there can be a dark cloud hovering over us on a sunny day, but even within that dark cloud, there's a silver lining—bad things are going to happen anyway, but they're never permanent, there will always be a solution and you'll always make it through.” He reaches out placing his hand over yours. “Relationships will make sure you're never alone facing them.”
“I know that… it's just, I'm not sure if I'd be able to commit to one when all I can focus on right now is this stupid fegree
“Take things slow, Y/N, I'm not forcing you to jump right into one,” he reassured, his thumb absentmindedly rubbing the skin of your hand.
You returned his smile, eyes glancing affectionately at his hand atop yours before a light chuckle escaped your lips.
“What?”
“It's just… you're the first guy I've ever liked that likes me back,” you told him, locking eyes. “Kind of the reason why I'm so scared of relationships—I never want to have one if the feelings aren't mutual.”
“So, you've never been in a relationship before?” You shook your head and Minghao smiled fondly, enveloping your hand with his, the warmth from his palm radiating onto yours.
author's notes: jeonghan is the clumsy one for once, and the reader just finds it endearing and runs along with his plans :3
Jeonghan has been an employee in the Research and Development division of the Marketing department for almost three years now, it is safe to say that he knows everyone in the Marketing department, from his seniors and superiors, to his juniors and interns.
However, during a company dinner for the Marketing department, he spotted a face that didn't seem familiar to him. You.
When you had arrived at the Korean Barbeque place in downtown, you were accompanied by three other colleagues. The three he recognized as Sowon, Eunha and Eunbi of the Public Relations division, but when your appeared from behind Sowon, his eyebrows furrowed.
Who is that? He thought, assuming you were a newer addition to the team. Jeonghan wasn't necessarily a curious person, and if he met someone new, he wouldn't think too much into it. He already uses up a lot of his brain power in improving the quality of the company's products, along with researching on how to beat competitors in the same field. Having to satisfy his curiosity over someone that he barely knew wasn't his thing.
Despite that, when Sowon seated herself beside him, he couldn't help but lean over and ask, "Who did you come here with?"
Sowon glanced over at him with furrowed brows, before turning to look over the three others that she came with, "Eunha, Eunbi and Y/N."
"Y/N?" She nodded. Your name was foreign to his ears. "New addition?"
Her brows only furrowed deeper, creating a wrinkle in her forehead, as she shook her head. "No, Y/N has been working here for the past year and a half."
Now Jeonghan was really curious. How is it that he's been working in this department, and yet, never seen you. "Really?"
"Yeah," Sowon uttered, taking a bit of kimchi with her chopsticks before eating it.
Jeonghan proceeded to ask, "How come this is the first time I'm hearing of "Y/N"." He uttered your name as if you were some mythical creature, only being spotted after years of mere folklores.
"Because they don't join these dinners often, I had to drag them for this one," she explained, "and they don't try to stand out—they prefer to just work behind the scenes." He understood now, nodding with parted lips. His eyes glanced past the girl beside him, to where you were seated. You weren't engaging with those around you, however, your eyes watched those talking, listening intently with no intention to join in the conversation.
He could tell your social battery was running out fast, with how your eyes would droop slowly as you tried to keep up with the topic of discussion, and how you'd occasionally purse your lips, as if holding back a yawn.
It has just been forty-five minutes since you've arrived, and you already want to go home.
As you listened to the hearty laughter of your superior as he retold the story of how he almost got the company's director to fall in a puddle of wet cement, you could feel another yawn rise up your throat and tried to clench your teeth to suppress it.
You didn't hate going to company dinners, you just hated going to the dinners where the entire department is invited. You didn't mind when it was only the Public Relations division, as it was a team of less than ten people, and most of them, you were close with, so you don't tire out too quickly. However, tonight was for the Marketing department, including the five divisions under said-department, which consisted of over thirty people cramped up in a local Korean Barbeque restaurant.
To make matters worse, you didn't arrive alone and Sowon had offered to drive you all the way to your apartment, an offer you couldn't deny because you'd be too exhausted to take the bus anyway.
You knew you couldn't find a way out because Mr. Jung, your superior, would notice your absence. All you had to do was hold on and not yawn for another hour or two, however long the middle-aged man can handle is alcohol at least.
"Hey, Y/N." You turned your head to Eunbi, who was beside you, her eyes filled with concern. She was one of the few that can tell when you were beginning to feel drained. "Do you want to step out for some fresh air with me?" You almost cried out in relief, nodding wordlessly as she excused you both to Mr. Jung. Luckily for you, he was beginning to get a little too drunk to pay any mind and waved you guys off.
As you walked towards the exit of the restaurant, you'd pass the free refill table, where Jeonghan was refilling his strawberry juice from the dispensers, only to turn right when you were walking past him, the two of you colliding and cold liquid spilling over your shirt.
"Oh my go—" Jeonghan gasped in surprise, quicky turning to grab the tissues provided, apologies spilling past his lips just as past as the red juice was sinking into the fabric of your white shirt. "I'm so sorry!"
"It's fine," you uttered, but since you hadn't spoken much since the night started, your voice came out barely above a whisper.
"Jeonghan, what the hell?" Eunbi yelled, garnering the attention of others to your exchange, and your cheeks turned as red as your once-white, now stained shirt.
"I'm sorry, I didn't see!"
"It's fine," you try to say louder, but both individuals near your were in a panic, your presence only visible as a victim from the collision.
"Come, let's go to the bathroom, Y/N." Eunbi quickly linked your arms, dragging you to the rest rooms, leaving Jeonghan to stare at the two of you in guilt, the tissue in his hands unused because wasn't sure if he was allowed to clean you up.
"For once, it's not me." Jeonghan's head snapped to the six-foot junior, Mingyu, who approached him, a satisfied grin on his face that dropped the moment he saw his senior throwing daggers at him. "Too soon?"
Jeonghan could only muster a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck as he glanced up at the direction to where you rushed off to, the guilt settling deep.
"Are you okay?" Eunbi asked for the sixth time since you entered the bathroom, and you'd always nod, followed by a soft, "yes."
"You should ask him to pay your dry cleaning, Y/N, strawberry stains are stubborn."
"It's fine, Eunbi, really," you tried to reassure her, but you knew it wasn't your co-worker you needed to reassure. You couldn't get rid of the complete look of defeat in Jeonghan's eyes as he stood there, unsure on whether to help wipe off the juice from your shirt or not. He didn't want to touch you without your permission, but he also didn't want you to suffer from the sticky residue of the fruity drink.
"Do you want me to take you home? I'll borrow Sowon's car, and I can drop you off," she offers, and you smile, nodding, liking the idea to finally escape an exhausting night.
Jeonghan, on the other hand, was hoping to apologize properly when you got out of the bathroom. He stood up as he saw your figure exit the restroom, but paused as he watched you and Eunbi approach your superior, whispering. A firm nod and pat on your shoulder was enough to tell him that you weren't staying any longer, and he slumped back into his seat as you exited the building with your colleague.
"You can apologize to her next week," Sowon reassured him, taking a sip of her craft beer, "her cubicle is besides mine, and I'm confident she'll be there whenever you want to talk to her during work hours."
Sowon's were etched throughout his head as the weekend passed; he'd remind himself on what to do, but wondered: why did he feel so guilty over what happened to you? Granted, he should be because the drink had left a stubborn stain, and even after dry cleaning it, there was a faint pink outline you could make out if you looked closely. However, it wasn't his fault. He didn't see you, you didn't think he'd turn at that exact moment, and he had already apologized. You already forgave him the same night.
But why was the guilt gnawing at him like a hungry rat against a piece of plywood. Was it because he already felt bad for you on the get-go? When he saw you were having a hard time socializing when the dinner started? Or was it because he felt that the incident had worsened your night, adding an extra chore for you to deal with?
Whatever the reason behind the long-lasting guilt was beyond him, and all he wanted to was let it rest by apologizing to you properly.
Jeonghan sought out the Public Relations division, a floor below his, and stood by the door frame, his eyes scanning the area to find Sowon. And where he finds Sowon, he will find you.
Finding his same-age friend, he walked towards her desk, nodding at those passed him before he stood on his toes to see if you were, as Sowon had said, by your desk.
You were, much to his relief; head down, eyes locked on the screen of your computer, and occasionally glancing at the printed out report by your keyboard.
Sowon noticed his presence, nodding towards the clueless you, and he sent her a close-lipped smile before approaching your desk. He didn't want to startle you, since you were so focused, so he gently knocked on the wooden partition wall of your cubicle.
Despite not wanting to startle you, you still jumped from the sudden noise, not expecting anyone to approach you. You locked eyes with Jeonghan, briefly confused as to why he was here, but then realized; Sowon had given you a head's up when you clocked in this morning.
"Hi… Y/N?" Jeonghan greeted, an unsure tone when he said your name, as if he was testing it, making sure he was talking to the same person he bumped to a couple nights ago.
You nodded, "Yes, how can I help you?"
Jeonghan glanced around the office, seeing how everyone seemed busy with their own things, but that does not erase the probability of them eavesdropping. "Is it okay if we talk out in the hallway?"
You looked over at Sowon, as if asking for guidance, and she subtly nodded, an assuring smile on her face. Looking back at Jeonghan, with a stiff smile, you nodded and followed him out in the hallway. With only a step out of the office, you stopped and Jeonghan turned to face you.
"I'm sorry for what happened Friday night, Y/N," he began, brows stitched together, genuine remorse in his eyes and you were taken aback. This was what he wanted to talk to you about? "I'll pay for your dry cleaning."
It took you a second to find your voice. "N-no, it's okay, Jeonghan, it wasn't your fault. It was just bad timing, is all."
"I know, but I still feel really bad over what happened."
"You don't need to," you tried to assure him, but his guilty expression only deepened. You sighed, "You won't give up until you appease your guilty conscience, huh?"
Jeonghan couldn't help the grin that appeared, nodding meekly.
You shrug, feeling bad yourself. "I'm not sure how I can help you with that."
Placing his hands on his waist, shifting his weight, he looked around in thought, trying to think of a way to pay you back, and, as you said, appease his guilty conscience. As if a lightbuld lit up atop his head, he snapped his head towards you with wide eyes, "What about I treat you to lunch? Today?"
"Today?" You repeated, and he nodded. You didn't know how to deny him; you're not one to eat lunch outside of the office, in fear that your boss would suddenly drop work in your cubicle. Also, you usually ate lunch with your colleagues.
Jeonghan could tell you wanted to decline his offer. "Or, tomorrow? Whenever you like really, Y/N."
A huge part of you wanted to decline his offer, and try to convince he doesn't have to go through so many lengths in order to appease the guilt he feels over something that was (to you) miniscule. But, upon seeing the sincerity in his eyes, this seemed like an offer you can't miss out on.
With a small nod, you uttered, "Sure, Jeonghan, tomorrow afternoon is alright."
Thus, you found yourself seated across from him in a cafe across from the office. He offered whether you wanted to eat something heavy and filling, or light, and you preferred the lighter meal, you had snacked on a few things earlier because work was slower than usual.
"Can I ask?" The two of you had talked a bit about work, mostly Jeonghan asking about you since he hadn't seen you prior to the dinner last week. It was silent between the two of you for a minute until Jeonghan asked. You nodded, taking a sip of your matcha latte.
"Are you an introvert?"
You blinked a few times, slightly taken aback, but nodded, "It's a bit obvious, no?" He nodded in agreement. "Why do you ask?"
He only shrugged. "Do you not usually join the company outings?"
You shook your head no. "I join a few, mainly those that involve only the PR team, but last week was because Sowon wanted me to come, and also Mr. Jung pointed out that I should be there, and so, it felt like I had no choice but to show up." Your explanation was followed by a soft chuckle, finding the situation funny.
"So, last week's was the first time you joined that kind of dinner?" You nodded. "Is it the crowd? The reason why you don't join?"
You hummed in response. "There's that. I also just don't necessarily enjoy them…? If that makes sense, I don't know everyone in the company, nor do I follow along with the latest gossip, so whenever I meet them, I'm mostly lost and just listen—most likely, twenty minutes after I arrive, I already want to leave."
Jeonghan couldn't help but laugh at that, relating to your statement. He was quite the same; if he could get out of company dinners, he would, but there was an element of stress relief during them. The sound of beer glasses clinking together in a cheers, the carefree laughters of his colleagues as they rant and make fun of their higher ups with no care of the consequences. He enjoys them because he enjoys the people he encounters during those dinners. He, once again, felt bad that you couldn't experience the same.
"What do you usually do to relieve stress after a long week of work, Y/N?" He decided to ask, looking over at you pass the rim of his coffee cup.
There, you froze. What do I do? you couldn't help but think to yourself. Ever since joining the company, diving into a new environment and new position, all you ever focused on for the past year and a half was to make sure you were doing a good job. You wouldn't like think of yourself as a workaholic, but you did think you prioritized work over yourself more than you should've.
"I don't really do anything," you stated honestly, "going home helps me relieve stress." Which wasn't entirely a lie, but you just chose to not add the fact that you review a lot of your work once you step into your humble abode.
His lips were pressed a small smile. "Sowon tells me that you're quite the employee." You cock your head to the side, unsure what he meant. "I mean, you're drowning in your work, Y/N."
"You know Sowon?"
He nodded. "She and I were in the same university before we both got hired."
Your lips parted, nodding in understanding, before you acknowledged his previous statement. "It's just… I don't know, I never liked feeling like I wasn't doing anything productive, and anything work related feels productive to me."
"You can feel productive without having it be work related, though," he began, "I've been in your shoes before when I first started here, because I wanted to make sure I was doing the most, so the probability of me being fired was reduced—do you take up offers for extra hours or have trouble saying no when asked for something."
You didn't have to answer, your flustered face was enough to tell him.
"I can assure you that some point, you'll feel immense burn out," he informed, leaning back into his chair, "that's why people talk about a work-life balance."
"Work has always been my life though, Jeonghan," you spoke up, and he waited for your explanation. "I interned when I was in my third year of college, then continued at the same place as a part-time employee while I finished my degree, and became a full-time employee once I graduated.
"After a while, I decided to leave that place and seek out a new environment, and so, I came here. But since it was a new environment and a different position from my previous role, I couldn't risk having this not work out—that's why I take up the offers for overtime or extra work to bring home, but after a while, that became the norm for me and I can't find myself not doing anything work related."
"So… what you're saying is…" He pursed his lips in thought, and then grinned at you. "We should go on a journey to find you a hobby!"
How he twisted your words and reached that conclusion was honestly deserving of an applause, because how that one conversation had led you to an adventure, featuring Jeonghan, in finding you a hobby.
It started with baking. Jeonghan took the initiative in signing the two of you up for these classes, ensuring that the people behind the classes only accept ten to fifteen people each session.
Baking was fine, up until pouring the flour and Jeonghan seemed to be a bit out of focus, and poured the flour while the mixer was still on, causing most of it to go flying. Other than that, you found it difficult because of the numerous things you had to take note of to ensure a successful recipe. The eggs had to room temperature. You had to wait until the mix was fluffy. There was a lot of waiting, and being someone that wanted things to be done quickly, it was taking a toll on you—the waiting game.
So, baking was thrown out the window for potential hobbies.
Next was pottery. Prior to the pottery class, Jeonghan brought you to a new cafe, since he told you that they had great ratings for their matcha latte.
"You like matcha, right?" You nodded. "I thought so since you bought it when we had lunch together." Warmth enveloped your cheeks after his statement, finding it endearing how he remembered.
Despite that, the pottery class didn't provide any possibilities of you taking up the clay-shaping activity as a hobby. Shaping the wet, yet solid mixture was a pain and again, a waiting game. What was supposed to be a mug, came out a distorted bowl with a lopsided handle and you couldn't help but laugh when the instructor handed it to you with a look of pity.
Jeonghan, on the other hand, cringed at the two of yours creation. "I'm really sorry, Y/N, I thought we'd be better at this."
"Me too," you added, chuckling. The two of you climbed into his car, as he promised to drop you off at your place, but when he reached to turn the ignition, you stopped him.
"Is there something wrong?"
You locked eyes with him. "I think we can stop finding me a hobby." The color drained from his face upon hearing it. Did he fail in helping you? Waste your time? Did you feel forced to do so just because you couldn't say no? So many thoughts were running through his head, so many and none of which were good.
"I'm sorry?"
"I'll find a hobby at some point of my life, I'm sure, it's just not now," you stated, the corner of your lips tilted up in a small smile, "but thank you, for wanting to help me find one, Jeonghan. I truly appreciate it."
Your statement was that of a goodbye. He knew that after this, you and him might not meet as much as you recently have been, and he didn't want that. He didn't want the two of you to become just co-workers again, or worse, strangers that work in the same building.
"But." He froze.
"But?"
"But is it okay if we keep hanging out?" you asked, and he took note on how your cheeks turned a bright red and your eyes seemed to shimmer more even under the dim lighting of the car in the basement parking lot. "I didn't notice it at first, but Sowon told me that I looked… happier? Yeah, she said that I looked like I was in a better mood than usual after our baking class."
"Really?" The corner of his lips twitched upwards into a smirk.
"It's all thanks to you." If anyone saw the smile that appeared on Jeonghan's face after your statement, people would think he had just won the lottery. He felt like he did.
"I… I think you make me a better person," you say above a whisper, "at least, you make me think there is more to life than working until your retirement."
Jeonghan chuckled, finding your entire being at this very moment endearing. "Sure, Y/N, we can keep hanging out—I like being around you as well."
The two of you mirrored each other's bright smiles, a laugh igniting between you two to fill the silence before Jeonghan turned the ignition and you were both on your way.
"Maybe we could go cafe hopping, and you can accompany me on my journey on finding the best matcha latte," you suggested jokingly, causing Jeonghan to throw his head back in a hearty laugh.
