everything sucks and im tired

hi im natalie, im 23, and my back hurts. (header belongs to lgbtq-flags)

[roaminromans]

[raptorific]

I was about to say “how do you know someone has done that unless it’s you, OP” but then I recognized the name and I went on twitter to check and sure enough he was my creative writing professor in college

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Some girl in my class was talking about McDonald’s shamrock shakes and this yeehaw dude in cowboy boots said they suck and then he looked me in the eyes and said “what you’re gonna do is go to Arby’s, and get yourself a mint chocolate chip shake.” And he said it with such authority and certainty that I did so as soon as I got in my car

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I see your concern y’all but this wasn’t a man telling me what to do. This is a man who had important knowledge and shared it with me. He was aiding me on a quest I didn’t even know I was on.

[forrestsandfeathers0]

You fool, that was Arby himself.

[guildenstern]

i always use 💛and i am always hoping deep in my heart that one day i will send it to someone still on android 4 so it appears as 

[bisopod]

[my-nameis-jasper-deactivated202]

I asked my kids if they’d prefer a secret garden or a secret library and my son shook his head and was like “I don’t trust the secret gardeners and librarians”

[my-nameis-jasper-deactivated202]

Me: what if there aren’t any gardeners or librarians.

Son: there’s always a librarian. Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t there. And it’s a garden, there has to be someone taking care of it or it isn’t really a garden.

Me:

Me: this was supposed to be lighthearted

[my-nameis-jasper-deactivated202]

Daughter: don’t trust the secret librarian.

Son: any librarian who hoards a library to themselves is hiding something.

Daughter: /nods seriously/

Me: why are you two talking as if from experience should I be concerned

[skiplo-wave]

The kids are right Jazz

[supreme-leader-stoat]

But what if I want to be the secret librarian?

[my-nameis-jasper-deactivated202]

Me: what if you were the secret librarian?

Son: wouldn’t be a secret library. I have nothing to hide.

Daughter: so not a secret librarian. A good librarian.

Me: you two are on a wavelength I can’t understand

[brawltogethernow]

What a way to find out your kids went on a whole-ass portal fantasy adventure at some point.

[actjustly-deactivated20181001]

[bumpintheroad]

[one-time-i-dreamt]

[mynameischynna]

God, I want Mamma Mia to become the Fast and Furious franchise of musicals. They just keep making them for no reason, and the more they make the more you don’t even care that there isn’t a plot.

You think we care about a plot? The first movie could have been solved in 2 seconds with a DNA test, but instead they decide to sing about how this girl doesn’t know which of these 3 men is her dad for 2 hours and in the end THEY STILL DON’T HAVE AN ANSWER. AND NO ONE CARES.

The plot is ABBA karaoke, and it brings me joy. That’s all you need to know.

[fluffygif]

Great art techniqu by Binluo8102

[weaver-z]

Hannibal was a weak b*tch for succumbing to nominative determinism. Oh you eat people cause your name rhymes with cannibal? Boo, foh with that shit what kind of spineless puppet are you. I'm going to name my son Brenocide and raise him to be a Zen gardening consultant to flex on the Fates.

How does it feel to be the funniest motherfucker to ever grace my inbox

[stream]

Larry, if we make an effort today, we might be able to save August. Jaws (1975) | dir. Steven Spielberg

[cryoverkiltmilk]

[cockroachqu33r]

YES. Thank you

[marxism-leninism-utenaism]

this is because the writers of korra have a condition peculiar to authors where they are unaware of adult occupations other than “schoolteacher” or “cop”. i call it “jk rowling disease”

[paulthebukkit]

give me the ball papa

[kibumkim]

Pour water on the sun Get rid of that big yellow blinding orb of despair

[notkatniss]

cant get over the fact that the mandalorian has very little plot and is literally just sexy space cowboy single dad pedro pascal flying around doing freelancing gigs for gas money to protect his 50 year old green son who is an infant. star wars has peaked

[c3po]

i wish i could be brave like brave from disneys brave but instead i am coward from real life

[rcktpwr]

im rattatooie from the kitchen

[lightspeedsound]

I think ppl need to stop dismissing films like “crazy rich asians” and “to all the boys I loved before” as “cool for representation but just rom com fluff.”

Because like damn guys, sometimes I just don’t wanna deal with super deep narratives about identity and misogyny. Sometimes I just can’t handle the secondary trauma of movies like the joy luck club and maos last dancer. Sometimes I just need to escape into a happy place of light humor and hot people. And sometimes I want that happy place to show ppl who look like me.

Don’t knock escapism representation y’all.

[lightspeedsound]

Ppl are asking if it’s ok for white ppl to reblog

Answer: yes.

Would rather y’all reblog than speak over .

[altsexy]