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@carebayres
Sometimes I hate it here.
Thankful for my little family, this life we are living together and all the new adventures we’ve yet to take. #melodylove #mylove #thanksgiving2019 https://www.instagram.com/p/B5bgvw1FS-IrUkupxTcmFFUXiUJFGF_Ag3sMnM0/?igshid=1dlobrvdo7lnv
#emily prentiss in her fbi vest #a LOOK
Lockscreens: WWC 2019 final - random
kelley maureen o’hara (x2 world cup champion)
(cartoon by David Horsey)
I’m glad this child has a good role model.
I was walking through the toy aisle at Target when I found this thing and had a VIOLENT AND IMMEDIATE FLASHBACK to when JP first came out and they had a bunch of REALLY COOL T Rex toys that I would have sold one of my scrawny small-child limbs for but my mother wouldn’t get me one because they were “too violent and also ate people” :(
hnn I WANT IT SO BAD
on closer inspection, it makes a lot of really obnoxious noises and is also Too Expensive. BUT FEAR NOT I found this slightly smaller dude wedged in the back!
IT HAS BITE ACTION, AND THAT’S THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS
now we enter the testing phase
yup. looks good.
Extreme Chompin T-Rex says IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS
Can we take a moment to appreciate that we can use this as a rosetta stone to say “EXTREME CHOMPIN’ “ in four languages?
OH SHIT YOU’RE RIGHT, let me check the garbage to see if it’s still there! hopefully I didn’t destroy it in my excitement
*roar sound effect*
IMPORTANT UPDATE:
update update: I re-sized her collar and found a bag of toy bones at the craft store. I haven’t put this much effort into a non-school thing since my last job search, help
(secret bonus: the other side of her tag)
There’s more!
I love.
I saw that people are reblogging the thread again, so I thought I’d give you all an update on how Wexter is doing!
(just fine)
Wexter And The Case Of Her Continuing Marvelously Naughty Garden Adventures
OP and Wexter can break all my toes and I would still send a thank you card
Wexter says SHE WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING (but she might chew your ankles a little bit maybe)
so it’s come to my attention that at some point this weekend Wexter blew past 100,000 notes, and I for one think that’s very cash money of her.
I love the way they divided up the floats: you've got the party content float, with Ashlyn, Pinoe, and allie. Then the drunk children float, with JMac and child to try to taper them, then last but not least, the adult float; or the we haven't been drunk for three straight days float.
The “Sobriety? Idk her” Float
- USWNT staff had to add Becky and Uncle Naeher to balance the pure, gay, drunk insanity of Pinoe and Ash, supervise “I’ve been drinking since July 7th” JJ/Alex, and provide emotional support for Ali, who cannot control her fiancé by herself.
- While most of the people wearing sunglasses are doing so to hide their hungover eyes, Carli is wearing them to hide the tears she cried after learning she’d be on this float (she thought she was getting her own)
The “Drunk Children Noobs” Float
- Features hype man Sonnett, Panic Petunia, Pale Rose, The Great Horan, Confused Mal, and Frat Daddy KO
- Since KO is technically only 1/5 of an adult, USWNT staff were legally forced to add the only actual mother on the team, Jessica McDonald, to watch over them and make sure no one died. She brought her son in hope that his presence would keep the young drunk’s shenanigans to a minimum. It failed.
The “Play Hard, Hard Chill” Float
- Features 4 gays in committed relationships and some straights, but they all share the enjoyment of holding up 4 fingers ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
- The most sober float and they’re still drunk
- The youngest player on this float is also the most responsible
So I just went with my buddy while he got a rib tattoo, and they hurt like a lot, so he’s over there grimacing and being a huge manbaby so I just reach over and grab his hand so he can squeeze it because I’m a good person who helps others
And he’s clinging to my hand like it’s a life preserver and I’m being me and talking about nonsense like Grimace from the McDonalds commercials and how R2D2 is always ready to throw hands, and whatever, and the artist keeps glancing over at me and I’m like do your tattoo bro I’ve got my buddy handled
But then I realize he’s like, looking over because he can’t tell if he’s seeing something or not, and I glance down and I see my rainbow scalemail bracelet, and how I’m talking to my buddy all fondly and I’m like stroking his arm like he’s a wounded animal, and right as it clicks in my head the tattoo artist asks in his most nonchalant voice possible, like intentionally bland, I’m just talking about the weather haha what do you mean voice:
“So, are you guys close?”
And my gay ass is over to the side internally screaming because yeah, I am gay, but like this is just me being a good bro and my buddy is COMPLETELY OBLVIOUS TO WHAT IS HAPPENING BECAUSE HE’S A GARBAGE STRAIGHT PERSON AND HE SAYS
“Yeah of course, that’s why I asked him to come”
SO NOW THE TATTOO ARTIST THINKS HE’S RIGHT AND HE HAS A GAY COUPLE GETTING A TATTOO AND MY BUDDY HAS NO IDEA AND I’M AWKWARDLY SITTING HERE LIKE SHOULD I STOP HOLDING HIS HAND??? SHOULD I CORRECT THIS TATTOO ARTIST??? SHOULD I LET MY BUDDY KNOW??? MY GAY ASS DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE BEING INCORRECTLY ACCUSED OF BEING GAY, WHAT DO YOU DO
So that tattoo artist is like “Cool man, that’s great. Good for you.”
So then my buddy is like can I get some water, and the guy comes back with one bottle of water and my buddy takes a drink and then hands it to me, and I’m like obviously he has to lay down and needs me to hold his water so I just hold it in my hand, but turns out he was offering me water, so he turns to me and is like Colton, drink some water, and I take a drink and my garbage lizard brain is like “You’re drink sharing in front of the tattoo artist, now he KNOWS he’s right”
So we’re talking about tattoos with the artist and I mention that I’m getting a tattoo in September and my buddy is like “Yeah I’m gonna go and hold HIS hand for that one haha” and the tattoo artist FUCKING SAYS “I mean, I should hope so”
I MEAN, I SHOULD HOPE SO
I MEAN, I SHOULD HOPE SO
AND NO ONE ACTUALLY BROUGHT IT UP. I KNEW WHAT THE TATTOO ARTIST WAS THINKING BUT DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING TO CORRECT HIM. NOW WHEN MY BUDDY GOES BACK AND GETS HIS NEXT TATTOO IN THE FUTURE AND I’M NOT THERE HE’S GOING TO GO “OH WHERE’S YOUR BOYFRIEND”
cafeterianyc: Congratulations to @uswnt Champions on winning the World Cup! #EqualityForAll #LoveIsLove #CafeteriaNYC
LOVE IS LOVE 🏳️🌈
hi helo greetings here is an opinion by ME.
The Swewnt arrived in Gothenburg today, and they recieved a warm welcome! (Source tweet: https://twitter.com/applessquabble/status/1148264796413931521?s=21)