Pairing: Leon S. Kennedy x Fem!Reader (Death Island Leon bc I’m a whore for him)
a/n: I'm so sorry this was supposed to be a drabble but I js couldn't stop writing</3 Based on this request!!
WARNINGS: complicated relationships, situationships, angst?? mentions of sex & alcohol consumption, they 're kinda toxic but there's a happy ending // Part 2 of Situationship!Leon but can be read as a standalone :)
Hope was a small word for something that could take up so much space. It didn’t arrive like an overwhelming blinding light but rather as a quiet presence, settling at the edge of your thoughts, lingering in the corners of your mind, whispering “not yet, but soon.”
It was gentle enough to believe, but dangerous enough to stay.
You had carried that hope for Leon longer than you cared to admit. You had told yourself countless times there was a reason for the distance he kept. That one day he would explain what held him back from loving you openly.
He cared for you, you knew that much. You felt it in the way he showed up when you needed him, how he always made sure you ate something even when you were busy with reports, how he always reached out when he was out of town to make sure you were okay.
He had been your friend for years before you even started sleeping together, you knew he loved you, just not in the way you wanted him to. And so you waited, hoping to make him change his mind.
That was your first mistake.
You asked him softly at first, like you might scare him off if handled too roughly.
“Do you ever think we could be something more?”He didn’t hesitate. “You deserve better than me, sweetheart.”
It should have been enough for you to realize the truth then, but instead his answer sounded like it was wrapped in something that sounded almost like kindness, it gave you hope.
So you asked again, and again. Until the questions began to feel like knocking on a door that would never open.
“Not even a maybe?”“You don’t deserve something as uncertain as a maybe.” A faint smirk flickered across his lips, his expression carefully neutral.
You laughed then, because that’s what you always did. You fill the silence with jokes and sarcastic remarks, anything to make him stay a little longer.
Sometimes when you were alone in your room you almost wished he was cruel, it would be easier to hate him and make your heart understand that he didn’t want to be with you. But Leon wasn’t a cruel man, he was careful with the way he treated you, distant in a way that never fully pushed you away, but never let you get too close to his heart. He let you see just enough to keep your hopes high, but never enough to let you in completely.
Deep down, your heart had always known the truth.
Every moment he made you feel special it meant nothing. Every time he whispered sweet nothings against your skin when he was making love to you, it had meant nothing. Every time he turned another woman away without hesitation, only to choose the seat beside you instead.
You had taken those moments and held them too close, let them bloom into something they were never meant to be. Let them convince you that you were different, that you mattered in a way no other woman in his life did.
It all meant truly nothing in the end.
So with that realization, the questions you used to ask yourself, changed.
Not “Why doesn’t he want me the way I want him?” but “Why am I still waiting for something that may never happen?”
There was nothing left to say, nothing left to ask. No version of you that could make him choose differently.
You stopped reaching out first, stopped letting your gaze linger a second too long, just waiting for him to meet your eyes for that brief, electric thrill of forbidden feelings. Stopped searching his words for meanings they didn’t hold. You told yourself you were done hoping. Even if, somewhere deep down, that quiet voice still whispered, soon.
Leon knew something was off the moment you didn’t greet him the way you always did when he came back from a mission.
There was no teasing remark waiting on your lips, no easy smile that used to find him without effort. Just a soft, almost absent, “Hey, you’re back,” and a brief glance in his direction before your attention slipped elsewhere.
It was enough to unsettle him, but he told himself it was nothing.
Maybe you were just having a bad day.
By the next day, your behaviour was harder to ignore.
He found you in the breakroom, genuinely laughing at something another agent said, the kind of laugh that was secretly reserved for him. It killed him the way you didn’t even acknowledge his presence at all when he walked into the break room, that unspoken invitation he had grown so used to, the one that always pulled him toward you without thinking was gone.
When he finally spoke to you, you listened, but your attention didn’t stay. It drifted too easily, slipping away to the person standing next to you, like sand through his fingers.
“Everything okay?” he asked casually when you were finally alone, like it didn’t matter.
“Yeah,” you said just as easily. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
He didn’t have an answer for that.
After a week of your quiet distance, Leon decided to reach out first.
He leaned against your desk, arms crossed, like he had a hundred times before. “You busy this weekend? Haven’t seen you much,” he added, a hint of a smile. “Miss hanging out with my girl.”
You didn’t look up right away.
“Yeah,” you said after a second, like you had to check your memory. “I’ve got plans.”
That made him pause. Plans?
“With who?” he asked, lighter than he felt.
You hesitated briefly. “A friend.”
Something about the way you said it didn’t sit right with him.
“A friend,” he repeated, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. “Should I be worried?”
You huffed a quiet laugh, but it didn’t linger. “No, we’re not together, remember?”
Leon didn’t press, but he couldn’t ignore the way something in his chest throbbed, because you were right.
Later that week, he tried again.
“We hanging out this weekend, or is your mysterious “friend” kidnapping you again?”
Your reply took longer than usual.
“Very funny. I’ll have to pass, but maybe another time.”
He stared at the screen, thumb hovering before typing again.
“So this friend got a name?”
This time, the pause was even longer.
“Do you wanna grab dinner next weekend then?”
The notification lit up your screen, your thumb hovered for a second before you tapped it open.
Staring at the message longer than you needed to. You didn’t know how to answer, or if you even should.
You were trying to put distance between the two of you, but he made it so hard. Just when you thought you were getting somewhere, he reached out again, messing with all of the progress you had made.
Five minutes passed. Then fifteen. Then an hour.
On his end, Leon frowned at the lack of response. He knew you’d seen his message, the very obvious “Read” made it clear.
Then suddenly, three dots appeared.
His attention sharpened instantly, thumb hovering over the screen.
Then disappeared completely.
That weekend, he didn’t hear from you.
It was a very busy Monday morning when Leon finally caught you alone in your office.
“Didn’t know you were seeing someone,” he said, almost teasing.
You blinked at him. “I’m not.”
“Then what is it?” he asked, quieter now. “You blowing me off for ‘Blake’. You don’t want to hang out anymore. You upset with me?
Your expression didn’t change.
“I’m not blowing you off,” you said with a tired expression. “I just have plans.”
It shouldn’t have bothered him the way you brushed off his questions, but it did. More than it should have, more than he usually allowed himself.
“Right.” He said awkwardly, this time he didn’t have any sarcastic response to that.
“Look, Leon, I’m not mad at you,” you said, your voice steady, even if it didn’t feel that way. “It’s just…I want more than what you can offer me. I want to meet new people and make new friends.” You swallowed, the words getting a little harder to say.
“My world revolved around you,” you said quietly. “But at the end of the day, we’re not together, and we’re not exclusive. You made that very clear from the beginning.”
“It took me some time, and more than a few tears to actually understand that, but I do now.”
Your eyes met his, unwavering this time.
“So I don’t understand why it bothers you,” you continued quietly, “that I’m spending time with someone else when I gave you a thousand chances…”
Your voice faltered, just slightly.
“and you turned me down every single time.”
Leon’s jaw tightened. But then he exhaled, short and quiet, like he was brushing it off.
His gaze shifted away from yours, landing somewhere over your shoulder instead.
“Look, if you wanna go out with someone, go out with someone,” he added with a casual tone, like he hadn’t just been affected at all. “You don’t need my permission,.”
You knew him well enough to recognize it for what it was.
Just too proud to admit it.
“Yeah,” you said softly. “I know.”
He shifted his weight, already turning toward the door like the conversation was over. Like leaving was easier than staying and actually facing you.
“I’ll see you around, then. Call me if you need anything”
He hesitated, just for a few seconds. Like something (someone) was holding him there.
Ultimately, the door clicked shut behind him.
You let out a slow breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, your chest tightening almost immediately after.
Your heart ached, it was agonizing at the fact that you had hurt him.
But you told yourself you did the right thing, the whole day.
The hurt in his beautiful blue eyes was the last thing you saw before sleep took you that night, haunting you even in your dreams.
You told yourself you did the right thing, and repeated it to yourself all day, like it might eventually feel true.
A buzz slipped into the haze of them, slowly waking you up.
You frowned, shifting under the covers, reaching blindly toward your nightstand until your fingers brushed your phone.
You stared at his name for a second too long before answering, your voice thick and groggy.
His voice sounded a little off, low and rough.
You pushed yourself up slightly, blinking the sleep from your eyes. “Leon? Are you okay?” you squinted at the time, “It’s late.”
A quiet huff came through the line, almost like a laugh.
You pulled the blanket tighter around yourself. “Then why are you calling me at two in the morning when we have to be up early?” You paused, listening to the uneven rhythm of his breathing. “Don’t tell me you’re drunk.”
He exhaled slowly, like he wasn’t sure how to answer.
“I was out,” he said finally. “Had a couple drinks.”
You sighed softly. “I know you, Kennedy. You don’t just have a couple drinks.” A small pause. “Do you need me to pick you up? Don’t even think about driving like that.”
“You really going out with that guy?” He ignored your rambling.
You closed your eyes, exhaustion and frustration mixing together. “Now is not the moment, Leon. Send me your location, I’ll pick you up.”
There was a pause, a shaky inhale came from the other end of the line.
“I need to know, sweetheart,” he said, quieter this time, “Please.”
Your grip on the phone tightened.
“I didn’t lie to you,” you said tiredly. “I’m not seeing anyone. Why do you care so much, anyway?” you asked, your voice quieter now. “It’s not like you want to be with me.”
“Not true.” He didn’t even hesitate.
“Not true?” Your voice wavered, but you didn’t stop. “Whatever this is-” you shook your head slightly, like even that felt pointless, “God, I don’t even know what to call it. Us.”
You let out a shaky breath, frustration and exhaustion bleeding into every word.
“It’s not enough for me,” you said, your voice unsteady now. “I want to be more than someone you call whenever you want to fuck, or a casual dinner after work when you feel guilty about using me.”
Leon whispered your name, but you cut him off before he could stop you.
“You told me you can’t give me what I want,” you continued, your voice tightening, “and I thought I could live with the little pieces of affection you give me, but I can’t.” Your grip on the phone tightened. “So tell me, Leon. Where does that leave me?”
You swallowed, the words growing heavier the longer you held them in.
“Sometimes I wish you had never crossed that line,” you admitted quietly after a moment of silence. “I was happy being your friend.” A small, broken breath left you.
“Having a stupid crush on you was easier. At least it didn’t hurt like this. So tell me,” you said softly, but there was nothing fragile about it, you just wanted to be freed from the pain. “What do you actually want from me?”
Silence stretched between you.
The other line went quiet, disappointment washed over you. You had gotten your hopes up again, let yourself believe that this time might be different. You let out a small breath, already bracing yourself for him to pull away like he always did.
“You’re going to have to be more specific,” you said, your voice sharper now, trying to steady your uneven heartbeat. “You owe me that much.”
“I don’t want you with someone else,” he said, the words rushing out, unfiltered.
“I don’t like it. I don’t like thinking about you with someone else,” he added, cutting himself off, breath uneven. “Or you looking at them the way you used to look at me.”
“I know what I said. I know what I told you,” he continued, quieter now, strained. “About us not being together."
“Jesus Christ,” he muttered under his breath. “I love you, okay?” His voice dropped, almost pleading now. “It’s complicated and I wish it was easier for me, but it isn’t, baby. But I want to try, with you.”
“You’re drunk,” you said softly. “So if you really mean it, tell me when you’re sober.”
You don’t remember grabbing your keys, or throwing on a jacket, or the drive itself. Just the way your hands tightened around the steering wheel every time his words replayed in your head.
Your chest ached with longing by the time you pulled up to the bar, you had waited years to hear him say those words, but for some reason you didn’t feel happy. It felt like he was just doing that to avoid losing you to someone else.
He was standing next to his bike outside the bar, one hand resting against the seat, head lowered like he was trying to hold himself together. The streetlight above him cast a dull glow over his signature leather jacket.
He looked up at the sound of your voice, eyes glassy and unfocused but the moment they landed on you, something in his expression shifted.
You swallowed hard. “Yeah. Let’s go. It’s pretty late.”
He pushed himself away from his expensive bike, a little unsteady. You stepped closer out of instinct, your hand hovering near his arm, just in case.
“Mm.” You didn’t argue. “Car’s this way.”
The ride back home was quiet, and a little awkward. There was so much left unsaid, but you knew that wasn’t the correct moment.
Leon’s head rested back against the passenger seat, eyes half closed, one hand loosely in his lap. You kept your eyes on the road, gripping the wheel a little tighter than necessary.
Neither of you mentioned what he’d said.
By the time you got home, he was barely awake.
“Hey,” you said softly, nudging his shoulder. “We’re here.”
He blinked slowly, disoriented. “Mm.”
“Come on.” You stepped out, walking around to his side. “Let’s get you inside.”
He let you help him this time, which felt strange, he’d never let you see him this vulnerable. There was always some excuse, some way to gently pull away before you could glimpse anything real.
His hand wrapped loosely around your wrist for balance, the familiarity of his warmth was overwhelming, and your chest tightened at the contact.
You got him inside, guiding him toward the couch.
He dropped down without protest.
You grabbed a blanket, hesitating for just a second before draping it over him.
“Drink some water,” you said, handing him a glass.
He took it, fingers brushing yours lingering for half a second too long.
You nodded, stepping back.
“I meant what I said.” he said in a low tone, rough with exhaustion.
Your chest tightened painfully.
“We’ll talk more tomorrow morning when you’re sober,” you said softly.
And then you walked away.
You woke to the smell of coffee.
Your brows furrowed as you pushed yourself up, still half asleep, confused as to why someone was making coffee in your apartment.
Flashes of the night before came to you, Leon’s call, and what he had said to you.
You were out of bed in seconds.
He was in your kitchen, his usually neat hair a mess, sleeves pushed up, standing there like he didn’t know what to do with himself as he poured coffee into two mugs.
“Morning gorgeous,” he gave you a small smile, his tone softer than his usual sarcastic one.
You crossed your arms slightly, leaning against the doorframe. “You’re up early for someone who couldn’t even walk by himself yesterday.”
“Couldn’t really sleep.” He held out a mug. “Figured you’d want this.”
Your fingers brushed again, but this time, neither of you pulled away immediately.
“Can we talk about yesterday?”
“Sure, I’m listening.” This time, you weren’t going to do the work for him. If he really meant what he said, he’d have to prove it.
“First of all, I meant everything I said yesterday, but that’s not how I wanted to say it.” He couldn’t quite bring himself to look at you.
“Why now? It feels like you only did it when you noticed I was trying to move on.”
“I know what it looks like,” he admitted, finally looking at you. His eyes were troubled and despite everything, something in you still ached to comfort him.
“Seeing you move on from us, maybe it pushed me,” he said, looking you right in the eyes. “But it doesn’t make it any less true. I’ve always liked you even before we started sleeping together. There's been no other woman in my life but you since we started seeing each other, it’s always been you.”
His gaze dropped for a second before finding you again.
“I’m not good at this, I haven’t been in a relationship in years.” He confessed. “It’s easier for me to keep things simple, I realize now that’s not fair to you.” There was a long pause. “I don’t really know how to do this right,” he admitted, almost under his breath. “And I don’t want to lose you because I was too afraid to figure it out.”
“I’m probably going to mess this up at some point.” A faint version of his usual sarcastic smirk tugged at his lips. “But I want to try anyway, with you.”
His voice softened again. “If you’ll let me.”
For a moment, you didn’t say anything.
Instead you stand in the middle of your kitchen, as you absorbed every word he said, holding them close to your heart. You were speechless, but not in an entirely bad way.
Your grip on the mug loosened slightly.
“Thank you for explaining it. I appreciate it.” Your eyes softened as you gave him a small smile. “I can’t pretend it fixed everything, but I appreciate you letting me in.”
“It’s going to take time,” you added softly. “And I need you to understand that.”
Your gaze held his this time. “But I’m willing to try too.”
He didn’t say anything immediately.
Instead, he stepped closer, gently pulling you against his chest, careful not to spill your coffee. His familiar warm embrace wrapped around you, and you welcomed it with open arms.
“All the time you need, baby,” he murmured.
He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.
“Let me drive you home,” you said, pulling back just enough to look at him. You scrunched your nose slightly. “Your clothes reek of alcohol, and your bike’s still at the bar.”
“Yeah?” he murmured, glancing down at himself before looking back at you. “And you still let me hug you like that.” His hand lingered lightly at your waist, not pulling you closer, but not letting go either. “You must be getting soft on me.”
“Don’t get cocky, Kennedy. You’re walking on very thin ice.”
You turned before he could respond, heading to your room. Then paused, glancing back at him with a small squint.
“Whatever you say, gorgeous,” he said, a crooked smile tugging at his lips.
Much later that day, you and Leon were in the break room.
“Hey,” you said casually, stirring your coffee, “I think I should come clean and tell you that Blake is actually a girl.”
He blinked at you, clearly confused.
“Wait… so you waited until after I told you I loved you to tell me Blake was a chick this whole time?”
You took a slow sip of your coffee, humming lightly. “Pretty much, yeah.”
He stared at you for a second longer, then let out a quiet scoff.
“You know what?” he said, shaking his head. “I think I like my women a little toxic.”
You raised a brow. “Women? As in plural?” A beat. “Bold of you, Kennedy.”
“Too soon?” he asked, offering you an innocent smile.
You tilted your head, considering him for a second.
“You’re not hitting it anytime soon,” you said sweetly.
Then you turned, grabbing your coffee and walking out.
❀࿔˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ೃ❀ᮬ࿔˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ೃ❀࿔˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ೃ❀ᮬ࿔ .˳˳.⋅ॱ❤︎ᩙ.˳˳.⋅ॱ❤︎ᩙ.˳˳.⋅ॱ❤︎ᩙ.˳˳.⋅ॱ❤︎ᩙ.˳˳.⋅ॱ❤︎ᩙ
idk how to feel about this one:p but hope it's not too bad</3