back on here to tell y’all that I’m emo again because I miss my little baby boy
I feel like I’m going through a breakup with him.... if that makes any sense. I’m just heartbroken. I’ll be laying on the couch and wishing he was laying on my tummy. Walking around my house and wishing I heard his tiny little foot taps following me around. Wishing I was being greeted by him at the door. All either of us ever wanted was to be around each other and just relax.
The hardest has been two things: sleeping without him and trying to do my homework without him sleeping in his little basket by my desk.
It sounds like he’s dead but he’s not. He just can’t live with me. Sometimes I feel like it would be easier if he was dead, because then there’s a finality and a moving on process. But I’m stuck always wishing.... and at the end, I know I’m going to be so miserable and unforgiving of myself for not being able to make him his happiest in his final years.
I know he misses me too. My parents say all he ever does is just lay in his one spot in the kitchen. I feel like the worlds most awful dog parent.
I try really hard to not cry around the house so that my s/o doesn’t feel my sadness.
I’m just. so sad. but trying.
