i'm a work in progress.

Carmen Valdez. 28. Personal trainer. DJ. "Look, my workout didn't kill you, so I don't know what you're complaining about."

[carmen-valdez]

lewiszach:

“Yes, we know. You’re absolutely terrifying.” He stepped forward with ease, only masking the distraction of speaking in niceties. Smacking the ball out of her grip, he allowed it to bounce a few times before he grabbed it and ran, speaking as he did so. “Never said I had to back off! But yes, Vero and Rafe and wings – especially wings.” He called back. A few dribbles later and he aimed the ball toward the basket, watching it sink in. Turning on his heel, he stuck his tongue out at her. “See what being nice to me does, Valdez? I bring the heat. You can’t even deny it.”

“And don’t you forget it—” she started but was cut short the moment Zach snatched the ball from her. She cursed under her breath, trying to sneak by his sides and smack it out of his hands. But her attempts were proven to be in vain as the ball swished through the net. Then she glared at Zach— not hard, but just enough to scare him a little. “Fuck you, Lewis,” she replied curtly. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t be gettin’ cocky on me now. ‘Specially now that I know we playin’ dirty. Let's see whatcha got, fratstar.”

[carmen-valdez]

callum-reynolds:

Callum couldn’t say that he disagreed, but he also knew it wasn’t nearly that simple. He’d thought, once upon a time, that he’d been ready for marriage, and if he hadn’t walked in at the right moment, he probably would be right now. Sometimes love just made you stupid or blind… “Well, if people who weren’t supposed to get married didn’t, then I’d probably be out of a job. So, three cheers to immaturity…”

Carmen snorted by way of a noncommittal reply, though there was no humor to it. She simply clicked her tongue and took another swig of Coke. “Mhm, yeah, whatever.” Then she folded her arms over the bar and turned to him fully. “So what leaves you so bent up you gotta break off marriages for a living? S’always a story behind someone’s job. Mommy and Daddy split up so you don’t believe in love? Or are you just too cool for it and never dropped the casanova act after high school?”

[carmen-valdez]

erin-lhakpa:

Erin looked at the ground. Part of her wanted to cry and scream. Part of her wanted to punch Carmen in the face. And a little piece of her, buried deep down, wanted to give her a hug. But none of those things could happen. So she stayed transfixed on her feet, trying to pretend like she wasn’t about to lose her shit.

But she couldn’t hold her tongue. Erin knew ten years was a long time to hold a grudge, especially against someone she had once loved. But she also knew she couldn’t pretend like nothing had happened.

“Don’t what? Don’t say the things I’ve been wanting to say for ten years? Yeah, we weren’t together and we weren’t talking. But I didn’t know that meant I was never going to see you again.” She looked back at her feet, unable to make eye contact when she softly added “I think you owed me a goodbye.”

Erin just stood there for a moment, unable to think of anything else to say or do. She must’ve imagined seeing Carmen again hundreds of times and planned what she would say to her. But now, standing in front of her, Erin was at a loss. “Okay. I get it. I just don’t get why you’d move back here.”

That was Erin’s whole game. She would puff up, flex her entire body in hopes of turning it to stone. And once all of her defenses were down, it was easy to find that soft interior that no body of armor could hide. Carmen didn’t need boxing or any other fighting technique to know that everything had a weak spot. She knew the game, because she so often played it herself.

“Okay, I guess I did. I can’t really go back in time and change that, so, like, I don’t really know what you want me to do about all that.” She kept her eyes pointed toward Erin, whether or not they kept contact with hers was based on how Erin’s head was tilted. It wasn’t a way of asserting dominance, it was to let her know that she had Carmen’s full attention. That what Carmen had to say wasn’t just for the flare of it. She was trying to be real, and that was something that didn’t come easily to her.

“I’m not stalkin’ you or nothin’.” The joke felt a little out of place, like it didn’t quite fit her mouth or maybe it was the air around them that bent it out of shape. But she let it into the open, a white flag she waved halfheartedly. “This was home for me too, Erin. I got friends here, I got people here...” She had people in Arizona, technically. But her family had started to feel more like strangers, and she couldn’t bear their presence in her life for more than a few hours at a time without wanting to scream. “And I really need that right now, okay?”

[haimtheblog]

haimtheband: ✌

[carmen-valdez]

rafedelgado:

+ “Stupid,” he mocks her in the same way he always does, with a boyish smirk on his lips asking for it to be wiped off. Despite his efforts, Carmen finds a way in to wriggle in, but Rafe remains anchored in his position, refusing to budge any further. Besides, they always ended up moving into their own spaces anyway. Taking the can of coke in one hand, he wraps his arm around her shoulders to keep her still as he shakes the can vigorously in front of her, threatening to unleash the fountain of a shit load of chemicals and sugar as his finger slid under the pull-tab. “Fuck you, tell me I’m a sweetheart. Right now.”

The moment she slips into her place, she shoots him a glare. It’s a warning or a thin threat, depending how you look at it. And when she’s finally comfortable, his stupid strong arm straps her into place. She doesn’t flinch though, eyes flickering between him and the soda. When her voice leaves her lips, there’s something primal in her tone, and that’s his second warning. “Do it, Delgado. I fuckin’ dare you. See what happens.” Because she knows he will.

[desperate-housewives]

[carmen-valdez]

@rafedelgado

[carmen-valdez]

lilygracebelrose:

Once all the mats were away and Lily had come back to standing after picking up her last coupe of bits, she flashed a smile in the other woman’s direction. She nodded as her name was repeated back to her and she moved to casually rest her hands on her hips. “That would be yoga,” she answered. “First class of many I hope.”

“Yoga?” Carmen repeated, one eyebrow arching as she looked around the room. She wasn’t necessarily opposed to yoga, she just never quite had the patience for it. Her mind practically rejected it, and she was always annoyed by other people’s deep breathing. “Damn. You get all of Lanford in this place? Y’all must’ve used a shit ton of equipment or somethin’— I didn’t think it’d take that much to clean a room after yoga. S’normally just mats, ain’t it?”

[carmen-valdez]

charliecowen:

“Oh shit, yeah, heard of her but we’ve never talked or anything,” they took another sip of their coffee, watching as Carmen’s fingers slid from one record to the next, pulling things out without even properly looking at the cover. It was as though she knew a language he didn’t. “Invite me on Facebook or something whenever you’re DJing. I’ll stop by. Maybe. Probably.” Charlie was never really known for his ability to show up for friends’ events. 

He wasn’t sure if he should frown, or smile at her words. There were very few people who knew Charlie well enough to know talking about their problems was never something they were good at. So, instead of showing any sign of emotion, he remained stoic. “Uh…” He said before taking another sip of his coffee. “Dunno. Honestly, I just wanna fucking leave Lanford right now.”

“Mhm,” Carmen mused, only a thin trace of sarcasm lacing her tone. She never expected much from Charlie, which was not to say they disappointed her. He was simply selective. In almost everything he did, it seemed. And it was rare that her interests coincided with theirs, so she never asked them along to things they wouldn’t enjoy. Together, they could go to outings with mutual friends, art galleries, maybe the occasional dimly lit bar, but a sweaty night club with people partying too hard and rubbing up on each other was not a place Carmen would ask Charlie to any time soon.

She nodded in response to the few words he gave her, then immediately walked passed him. “Aight, we’ll field trip it then. I bought my ‘rents lil cabin upstate. S’only a couple hours from here. Day’s still young—we can take a day trip if you’re down. Play iSpy and drink slushies and eat beef jerky ‘n all that shit.”

[dailytelevision]

[carmen-valdez]

@lewiszach

[carmen-valdez]

lilygracebelrose:

At the other woman’s words, Lily nodded her head, knowing now that she was more than likely right. It was all a learning curve, though, and she’d get there eventually with things. Just a case of learning the ropes. “I’ll try and remember that for next time,” she responded with a smile, continuing to tidy things away. “Thanks for the help.” As she rolled up another mat, she glanced to Carmen and nodded. “Lily-Grace… and I guess that we will.”

“Don’t mention it.” Stacking some of the rolled mats in the storage closet in the back, Carmen turned on her heel. Lily-Grace she said her name was. She was pretty in a doll-like way, all pearly skin and rosy cheeks. “Lily-Grace,” she repeats, folding her arms but managing a smile as she looks at the other. “So, Lily-Grace, whatchu been teachin’ that requires so much maintenance? I wanna guess plyo, but I’m shit at guessin’.”

[carmen-valdez]

rhystaylor:

Rhys wouldn’t have been doing this if he hadn’t been drinking, that much was pretty obvious. Two pints of cider and he found himself dragged into the mirror maze as he passed by. It had all happened so quickly he hadn’t even had a chance to see who was responsible. But he was in there now and the lights were low, which meant he was walking into walls more easily than he was finding he way around. As he turned a corner, almost walking into someone, a laugh escaped him and he shook his head. “I think it’s this way…” he commented, pointing to the left. “Please tell me you’re as lost in here as I am.”

Walking into the maze had been a bad idea, and Carmen was too stubborn to admit it. She was almost sure the clues she had been following led her in a circle somehow. She was dizzy, irritated, and seconds away from trying to climb over the damn thing when she practically slammed into a broad chest. Sucking in a breath, she looked up at him and quirked a brow. Then she nodded vigorously. “Oh, I’m fuckin’ lost... But if you’re lost too I dunno why you think goin’ left is gonna help us... Are you gettin’ like half of these riddles? ‘Cause if we don’t get outta here, this is gonna turn into some straight up horror movie shit.”

[carmen-valdez]

callum-reynolds:

Callum raised his glass in a makeshift toast, celebrating his most recent victory in court. “Another sadsack, son of a bitch saved from the shackles of matrimony…. The lord’s work has been done today,” he announced in a sarcastically grandiose tone.

“Gimme a break,” Carmen sighed without much thought. She wished the Coke in her hand was a beer, but she knew why it couldn’t be, and that really just added to the rush of bitterness pressing down on the back of her skull. This guy was probably one of those assholes who owned a Game Over shirt with a ball and chain attached to the groom’s leg. “The only shackles that fool was in was from his own damn immaturity. If you ain’t ready for marriage, don’t fuckin’ trade rings. It ain’t that deep.”

[carmen-valdez]

rafedelgado:

+ There’s little movement from Rafe – much in the same way pigeons have grown resistant to humans – the threats from Carmen do little to affect him as his eyes remain fixated on the TV. Instead, he extends a hand, expecting a coke to be passed to him, whilst his free hand pats his lap. “Ha ha, it - must - be the ASS,” he says, imitating Ja Rule in Ain’t It Funny before smirking smugly to himself. “I mean… if you really mad, porque no los dos, V.”

One day she was going to kill him. Or at least that was what her internal monologue preached at least five times every time they spent more than an hour with each other. “Stupid,” she muttered under her breath, pushing at his head, then his shoulder. She shifted him just enough to get halfway into her spot. Then she hooked her leg around his knee and crammed herself into position as she handed him a Coke. “Who’s gonna have to kick your ass to make you stop bein’ such a fuckin’ douche, ah?”

[carmen-valdez]

erin-lhakpa:

Erin’s thoughts were going a mile a minute, too fast for her to process them. And yet she felt numb. It dawned on her that the Erin that Carmen had known was very different than the Erin currently standing in front of her. Her thick, dark hair, which once fell to the small of her back, now grazed her shoulders. Ten years ago, Erin had three tattoos, all in places she could hide from her parents. Now, there was ink on most of her body, with heavily tattooed arms on full display in her workout gear.

But more importantly, who she was had changed. Erin had always been brash, tough, and argumentative. But as a teenager who had only recently fallen down the rabbit hole of drugs, she was naive. She had believed she was invincible. That she was always right. That nothing could hurt her. Erin now knew these were all far from the truth. Parts of her that were once impenetrable were now torn, and parts of her that had once been soft had turned to stone.

People say that you never forget your first love. As Erin looked into Carmen’s eyes for the first time in a decade, she realized just how true this was. And she became angry. Angry at Carmen for leaving. For not saying goodbye. And angry that her first love taught her to close herself off and stay protected. Erin’s difficulty with relationships wasn’t a coincidence. It couldn’t be.

“You didn’t know? Or whatever?” Erin repeated, her blood rising. “My parents live in the same house. I hang out in the same places…” She shook her head. “If you actually wanted to know, it would have been easy to figure out.” Erin sighed, crossing her arms in front of her chest in a conscious effort to look tougher and a subconscious effort to protect herself. “So, are you going to tell my why the fuck you’re here, or do I have to find out from your friends?” 

Like they often did, Carmen’s teeth bared. They set into place like liquid metal cooling in a mold. Then she caught herself. It was a habit she so desperately wanted to break, but the fire licking her spine prevented it. There were things she couldn’t quit, and Erin Lhakpa was at the top of that list. 

She thought it would be easier, leaving without a trace. Maybe if she disappeared from Lanford, Lanford would disappear from her. But she spent too much time in her own head, a place where the memory of Erin seemed to take shelter.

“Don’t, okay? Don’t,” she hissed, eyes finding Erin’s, hardened but not quite cold. “I fucked up, aight? I get it. But we weren’t together, we weren’t talkin’, so don’t act like I fuckin’ owed you anything.” She swallowed and her throat felt impossibly thick, mouth dry with the sand forming somewhere underneath her vocal chords.

Then she sighed. She wasn’t angry. It felt like anger, but it dissipated too quickly. It was old wounds being pried open by the sight of a women she fell too hard for, too quickly for. For someone who took her breath away and never brought it back.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never said nothin’, I’m sorry I went AWOL. Just seemed like it was for the best. I already told you why I’m here. I moved back. I moved away from my family there... There ain’t much left of a story, okay? Can you stop lookin’ at me like I killed your fuckin’ family or somethin’?”

[carmen-valdez]

lilygracebelrose:

“Yeah yeah, I’m good… just completely unorganised,” Lily admitted with a shake of her head. “It was the first one today, so I guess that’s maybe why you didn’t know. They didn’t get around to mentioning it yet or something?” she queried, glancing around as she spoke. “I think I definitely should have brought someone with me to help clear up. It’s taking a lot longer than I thought it would.”

“Word of advice,” Carmen started, already stepping in to wipe down one of the mats that was spread across the floor. “It always takes longer than you thought it would. You’re prol’ly gonna wanna block out half an hour more than you think you need.” Finishing with the wipe, she rolled up the mat and tucked it under her arm. Then she held out her hand. “I’m Carmen Valdez, personal trainer here. Figure we’ll be seein’ each other a whole hell of a lot now.”

[carmen-valdez]

veronica-spencer:

@carmen-valdez

One, two, three punch and Veronica let out a victorious cry, taking a step back from the punching bag to look back over at Carmen. Since being back in Lanford, there had been a handful of people that the blonde found herself reconnecting with. Whilst the two women had never been the best of friends, they had run in the same social circle in high school and Veronica genuinely didn’t have a negative thing to say about the girl, which was pretty rare. “Have I mentioned how much I love beating the shit out of inanimate objects?” the blonde chuckled quiet, reaching for her water bottle and taking a long sip. Lately, it seemed like working out and releasing all the pent-up aggression that was plaguing Veronica day in and day out were some of the few times that she actually felt calm. “I think I’m gonna put one of these in my basement,” Veronica pointed towards the punching bag, “What do you think? Good idea or bad?”

Veronica was someone Carmen didn’t see herself coming back to. Not because they were at odds, not because they never clicked, but because Carmen didn’t think reconnecting was something that was possible for her. She had left the person she was back in Lanford a long time ago, and yet there were little bits of her she couldn’t help but cling to. And those bits led her right back to Vero, someone she had always admired in a silent kind of way. Someone who was always so in control.

And, being in control, she managed not to miss a beat the entire time she punched out a bag in the gym. Carmen snorted, shaking her head, albeit affectionately. “Jus’ once, or... five times,” she says with a gentle smirk. “Shit, if it means you don’t gotta knock these down and make me put ‘em back up every ten minutes, I’m all for it.” She readjusted the bag and stepped down from the box she had moved to readjust it yet again. “Tell you what, you buy a bag, I’ll even help you set it up. One more time, for old time’s sake or whatever the hell.”

[carmen-valdez]

charliecowen:

“Oh,” he said, rather startled that she would ask. Carmen wasn’t necessarily known to delve too much into his personal life. And normally, that’s what he preferred. He took another sip of his coffee before answering, eyes focused on the records she was flipping through, inspecting each one as though they were a prized jewel or treasure. “I think that’s just my face,” he said, not wanting to own up to any of the shit that seemed to be going wrong all at once recently. 

“I’ve just had a lot of shit go down and I’m kind of riding the wave out of it right now. Easing myself back into the real world.” He nodded at the record under her arm, “You got a big gig comin’ up or what?”

She knew how to play Charlie’s game fairly well. It was something of a dance, where he would guide them left and right and hope spinning her would be enough to disorient her. It never quite worked, and Carmen was just a little too bull-headed to let anything go easily. So at first she played along, shrugging her shoulders as she slipped an EDM record out of the crate. 

She knew to answer first and ask second if she was going to get anything out of him. “Kinda. You know that Dakota King chick? She was askin’ me ‘bout workin’ at her club more often. Thing is I ain’t really gotta feel for the scene yet... I know you prol'ly don’t wanna talk about it or nothin’, so why don’t I ask how I can distract you? Get your mind right.”