im not ready @carolinedianaaa - Tumblr Blog

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remanence-of-love

introvertsnation

Can we normalize not confusing someone's free time with their availability.

regularpsychopath

Gerascophobia- Fear of growing old

“When I was younger…….. I’d put my arms in my shirt and told people I lost my arms. Would restart the video game whenever I knew I was going to lose. Slept with all the stuffed animals as a child so none of them got offended..Had that one pen with 4 colors, and tried to push all the buttons at once. Poured soda into the cap and acting like I were taking shots. The hardest decision was choosing which Nintendo game to play. Waited behind a door to scare someone, then leaving because they’re taking too long to come out or you had to pee. Faked being asleep, so I could be carried to bed. Used to think that the moon followed my car. Watching two drops of rain roll down window and pretending it was a race. Went on the computer just to use Paint. The only thing i had to take care of was a Tamagotchi. The only ‘fake’ friends i had were invisible ones . I used to sing in the shower. (Now? I make life decisions in there now). Swallowed a fruit seed I was scared to death that a tree was going to grow in my tummy. Getting a bruised knees heals better than a broken heart. Remember when we were kids and couldn’t wait to grow up…what the hell were we thinking?” -ispeakforboys

iamcar-blog

Six Signs I'm Getting Old

My friends are all getting married having babies.

I like furniture now.

Getting called “ma’am.” Not so much that I get called that, but the fact that it now bothers me.

I understand why my parents used to ask me to turn the music down.

I had a good one for number 5 but I’ve already forgotten.

Am horrified to discover the Harry Potter series just marked its sixteenth anniversary.

theladwhoisweird

Chronophobia (sprinkled with gerascophobia) is when you feel you would d'e the next day and this is your last time on earth but you're just turning 21 the day after.

p.s. this applies in every day before your birthday.

crumbleclub

i think i've upgraded from a fear of growing old to a fear of the passage of time in general

sevenwinged

i’m still holding onto childhood,

weaving the threads of it between my fingers to try to keep it close to my heart,

but i’m moving beyond it at an exponential rate,

threads cutting into my skin and my circulation,

and i fear if i don’t let go soon

i won’t have fingers left to hold onto it with.

gor3sigil

I spent the majority of my life being scared to DEATH about getting older. When I was 10, I listened to a song about growing out of the innocence of childhood and cried for hours. When I was 13, I could have panic attacks and crying fits because I was terrified of not being passionate about music as much if I grew older. I cried when I reached my 20s. And I'm scared shitless about turning 30.

The adults in my life were MISERABLE. I was told almost every day that growing up meant giving up, making sacrifices, having to bury inside everything you ever were as a child and teenager to fit in the mould or you were going to be the scum of society, useless, not worthy of anything.

The adults in my life were traumatized and never did anything to address their traumas. And they openly didn't want to. They were persuading themselves that they were fine or that it wasn't important to heal from the past. But their traumas transpired in everything they did, every decision they made, and the way they treated me.

And look, I'm not old by any means. I'm almost 27. But I spend every day that makes me closer to 30 like a waiting room before my inner death. Like one day I'll wake up and become a zombie and everything I ever loved and was passionnate about will be erased from my mind and heard, only to be replaced by the excruciating burden of responsabilities, chores, work, filling papers and wondering how I ended up living this way.

That's why I left my family. Because I was so sure that they would shove me into the same patterns they were in that I just dropped everything and went away. And the reaction I got in return was "Well, do you think WE'RE happy ? No, but life goes on anyways." I felt my inner child scream in agony. I packed, took a train, never returned.

And thank god I did.

It warms my heart so much when I see peolle here in their 30s still engaging in famdoms, nerdy hobbies, passions like writing, drawing, make music. Know that you're the reason I keep going and am a little less scared of being myself and growing into who I want to become.

agirlsharing

I’m an adult btw lol 19 and I’ll be turning 20 this year I’m seriously not ready to not be a teenager anymore 😔

carolinedianaaa

I’m going to be 27 next month and still not ready to not be a teenager anymore and it’s almost 10 years since I’ve been 17.. almost 10 years since I graduated high school. As depressed as I was for my entire preteen and teenage years a part of me misses that time. I feel okay now and I don’t think I’m okay feeling okay. Why do I crave going back to those years? The time when I didn’t want to exist? There’s really something sick and twisted about it. I’m not ready to be an adult, I never wanted to get to this point.

lazyyogi

The secret to adulting is this:

Learn how to reduce your resistance against the things you know you have to do.

You don’t have to like it or enjoy it. You just need to stop avoiding, delaying, or ignoring what you know to be in your best interest.

With repeated experience of the benefits, you will learn a new kind of appreciation for the practice we call “adulting.”

classycookiexo

that-gum-wrapper-on-the-street

I have such trouble with the passing of time. It's not fair. I can't help that although my existence is short, I can't seem to feel it slipping through my grasp until it's too late. Why can't I wander back in time, like one does in space? Why can't I remember? I wish so dearly to know all the moments I have forgotten, I have failed to appreciate, I have misremembered. I crave to be able to travel freely across our dimension of time, if only to observe how much happier I was so long ago.

bananonbinary

one of the hardest things to learn as a depressed former Gifted Kid™ is that half-assed is better than nothing. take the 50%, 40%, even 20% job. scrubbing your face is better than not taking a shower at all. picking up your clothes is better than never cleaning. nibbling on some bread is better than starving.

DO THINGS HALFWAY. NOW YOU’RE 100% BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE BEFORE.

redheadhatchet

One of my college professors used to say “anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.” I didn’t understand that for years because I didn’t do anything poorly, I couldn’t do anything poorly, I had to Do Everything Perfectly.

But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting. Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible. Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible. Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because I don’t have the energy to go anywhere.

Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly… because doing it poorly is better than not doing it.