TEXTING MEME ⟶ WELCOME TO NIGHTVALE TWEETS ( 2013 / part two )
always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.
[ text ] –– the bee pit is closed for renovations.
[ text ] –– if you could only see the world as it really is! it’s beautiful and on fire and awful.
[ text ] –– don’t forget there’s a BIG GAME this weekend. no one’s sure what the game involves, but there will be consequences.
[ text ] –– let’s pretend this never happened.
[ text ] –– the hideous screaming coming from inside your walls is technically a haiku.
[ text ] –– when you die, try to rot quickly. the cemetery trees look underfed.
[ text ] –– centuries ago, scientists learned the sun doesn’t revolve around the earth. the sun, they proved, is just a blind god wandering in circles.
[ text ] –– the stars don’t mean anything. they’re just being ironic.
[ text ] –– measure a man by his actions. then measure him by each of his limbs, weighed separately, refrigerated, blood drained.
[ text ] –– most owls are staying in the forest to plot important things. the superb one speaks of mice and alchemy and prophetic dreaming.
[ text ] –– no one is talking about mountains. why is no one talking about mountains? secretive mountains control the media, that’s why.
[ text ] –– a bird in the hand is worth a plastic bag full of miscellaneous animal hearts.
[ text ] –– should crippling fear of life be taught in schools?
[ text ] –– the sky is a conspiracy.
[ text ] –– when life hands you lemons, use them to cover the smell coming from the floorboards.
[ text ] –– turns out the screaming in your home is just a ghost child who’s haunting the house that cursed her soul.
[ text ] –– the optimist sees a glass that is half-full. the pessimist sees a rotting deer.
[ text ] –– listen to your heart. just hold it up to your ear and listen. it should sound like chili being stirred.
[ text ] –– unearthing a time capsule dated 1913 that contains the bones of a six-armed man, two ukranian hymnals, and an eight inch statuette of a honeybee.
[ text ] –– are other people even real? probably not.
[ text ] –– there are painful consequences for kindness.
[ text ] –– missed connection: you were a bird, so was I. we lived centuries apart and time is weird.
[ text ] –– the post office doesn’t exist, mail is not a thing. communication is fake.
[ text ] –– hey girl you must be tired because you’ve been running all night from that basilisk.
[ text ] –– let’s stare at the sky until we forget who we are.
[ text ] –– passengers on the left have a nice view of themselves dying, on the right you can see mountains or something.
[ text ] –– filled with blood? got bones all inside you? covered in skin? we can help.
[ text ] –– the long debate over whether or not skin is necessary is finally over.
[ text ] –– i’d like to thank the eyeless deer that silently stalk my dreams for believing in me.
[ text ] –– smdh if you don’t grow oak trees from your chest.
[ text ] –– I like my coffee like I like my nights: dark, endless, impossible to sleep through.
[ text ] –– life is like a box of lonely, terrifying, painful chocolate.
[ text ] –– keep some bees in your chest cavity, just in case.
[ text ] –– the bees are dying because they never learned how to love.
[ text ] –– enthralled by the moon? staring at a lot of clouds and flowers? you may be entitled to compensation.
[ text ] –– do you want to know a secret? me too. let me know if you find out any.
[ text ] –– if we’re both unmarried at 35, let’s agree to become trees.
[ text ] –– thankfully, mathematics cannot be proven.
[ text ] –– don’t let numbers tell you what to do. you are blood and earth, not theory and chalk.
[ text ] –– the human soul weight 21 grams. it’s a dense lump of grey clay wrapped in a cloth and buried beneath an unfound tree.
[ text ] –– foxes are built like nesting dolls.
[ text ] –– if you love something, set it free. if it returns to burrow into your chest and die, it’s meant to be.
[ text ] –– love ain’t nothing but a number.
[ text ] –– things that hurt: knives, lightning, breathing, reading, talking, looking at the moon, paraphrasing, and recycling.
[ text ] –– anything is possible if you believe in yourself and only in yourself and don’t care about what’s real.
[ text ] –– it’s fine if you believe in thermodynamic laws, but you don’t need to force everyone else to believe it.
[ text ] –– here’s a creepy thought.
[ text ] –– an ouija board, but instead of letters and numbers, pictures of cats.
[ text ] –– it is not only illegal, but physically dangerous to answer a rhetorical question.
[ text ] –– somewhere in every mirror is a faceless old woman standing very still.
[ text ] –– you’ll sleep when you’re dead.
[ text ] –– a name is a lie that keeps you from thinking you might be more than one single being.
[ text ] –– it takes more muscles to shriek in terror than to smile.
[ text ] –– loss is an illusion. you’ve never actually had anything.
