It is truly irksome when contenders against Caryl state things like:
"Yeah, Carol may have flirted with Daryl, but he NEVER reciprocated it. Because he wasn't interested in her." Some I think have even gone so far as to say that Daryl was grossed out by it.
So I want to ask:
Where are/were the signs which suggest Daryl's disinterest or that he was disgusted by Carol's advances?
I am not an expert on relationships or body language, but this post is inspired by people who I firmly believe are even more inept at this than I am. So, once again, here we go!
1. Whenever someone is disinterested or uncomfortable with the advances of another, they either verbally say so or do someTHING to create some distance. So I ask: when has Daryl, knowing Carol's flirtatious behavior, ever tried to get her to take a hint by staying away from her? Last time I checked, she is the first person he looks for and asks about. In many of the earlier seasons (1-5) you can find Daryl standing right next to Carol or in the same frame -very near her. No one is forcing Daryl to be near Carol. Not Rick and certainly not Carol. It's called attraction. I would never be around someone if I did not appreciate their flirting with me. I would help us both out by staying away from them. Daryl does the exact opposite. So....so much for that argument.
2. This is an important point and it's one I believe Carylers and non-Carylers, alike, can appreciate. It should be noted, as I pointed out in my earlier posts that Daryl Dixon is not a "young" man. He was not "young" when we were first introduced to him. He was at least mid-thirties. At this point, he is now around fifty or late forties. Why am I bringing that up? Because it should be distinguished that younger men and older men flirt differently. Whereas younger men tend to compliment a woman's physical appearance, older men look beyond that. I will now endeavor to point out some of the ways in which older men flirt. They will be mixed in with other signs of flirting and interest that belong to both age groups, though.
3. The need to feel "needed". Like a superhero. Men are biologically hardwired to want to be the hero to a woman. If the woman makes him feel needed/essential and like he is solving an otherwise insurmountable problem for her, he will be very attracted to that woman. If you'll notice Daryl keeping an extra eye out for Carol and Sophia, put yourself in his shoes. Redneck hick with no one else in the world in a group of people who probably make him feel uneducated and unsophisticated. It will cause him to act like every bit of the image people paint him out to be. But in Carol and Sophia, he saw a real golden opportunity to prove to himself that deep down, he was dependable and loyal and sensitive and caring. His saw his family as broken and Carol's family as broken. Two halves make a whole. In all the seasons after that, you will notice Daryl still has a need to feel needed. He will never be rid of that, since most men have this innately. It comes out as being a provider and protector, which is healthy. The hero complex he has, however, could be a mutation of that trait, and one he has to overcome before the spinoff (hopefully), but please note these two are not the same. The fact that it is proven over and over that Carol is central to Daryl feeling needed in a healthy way is proof of his attraction to her. By the way, even if a man is unaware that he's doing it, if he comes to you/likes you because you make him feel needed, he's flirting.
4. He gives compliments. I want to point out that this is a science fiction/horror genre. Not romantic, slice of life drama comedy. So the expectation of many occurrences of flirting or such like should be kept low. The show is about survival with romance sprinkled throughout. Not the other way around. So antiCarylers need not look for numerous instances of the things I am about to say. The writers have played it this way for a reason and it is has been most effective. Now, compliments from a younger man can differ from that of a older man's. An older man is more likely to compliment on things beyond the appearance. Such as your skills, your mindset, your personality, things like that. Some people think that if Daryl liked Carol, he should have said something morbid like Merle's "sugar tits" or be straightforward like Negan with his gaggle of "wives" and say "I wanna screw your brains out." This is Daryl. Emotionally stunted, abused, insecure, and unsure Daryl. He has not had much or any experience feeling real, pure, true attraction. So look for compliments that are more coated and indirect. For example, when he complimented Carol on her cooking/baking in seasons 4 and 6 or in season 2, when he complimented Carol on making Dale's RV look like a home. Or when he told Morgan about what Carol would do to the Saviors if she were there, he was essentially praising her skills and leadership. People are not quick to notice it. But when a guy does that, he is flirting. And he interested and attracted to you.
5. He teases you. So I wanted to make this it's own little point, since it is a bit different from sheer complimenting. When a guy teases you in a good way, he is flirting with you. It can come off as mocking something the woman likes, if she says something or wears something. For example, when Daryl told Carol "you look ridiculous" in season 5, he was flirting. When he rhetorically asked Carol in season 9 if Ezekiel "snores fancy too", he was flirting. When Daryl says to Carol in season 7 "We gonna eat or do I gotta be a king or somethin' to get food around here?" Yes, he was flirting with Carol again. When he tells Carol in season 10 "Don't wanna play with you anymore if you keep cheating" he's flirting with her. Carol and Daryl's general going-back-and-forth banter is teasing and flirtatious. Notice how it doesn't come off as awkward like it did in Find Me with Leah. Daryl has a nice rhythm that works for him with Carol. Please note, that Daryl can play both sides (older and younger) since he is emotionally inexperienced in some areas. That is to say, just because he is older, he can still tease and joke back which he only really does with Carol.
6. When he gives you space. When younger men tend to give a woman space, it usually spells disinterest/waning interest. But older men give the woman they really like space. Why? Because they appreciate their time and the time of the woman they like. If you notice, Daryl tends to give Carol space, even if he would prefer/wants her close. It's because he respects her. In season 7 at the cabin, he wanted Carol to come back with him, but understood her space (this includes her headspace) was more important to Daryl than his own desires. Or when he stayed away for the duration of Carol's longterm relationship with Ezekiel. When an older guy checks in with you from time to time, he likes you and that's another aspect of giving the woman he is attracted to some space. Canonically, Daryl and Carol's screen time with each other does not add up to a whole lot, but it shows that they do catch up with each other and part from each other out of respect. This is a sign of attraction because neither one of them want to spoil a special thing.
7. He gives mixed signals. Because of Daryl's reticent nature, mixed signals he is prone to do. You will notice that he did this with Carol in the earlier seasons heavily. But he still subtly does this, now. Things like: being mean/harsh with you, then feeling bad and wanting to make it up to you with sensitive or soft gestures; pulling away from you, but wanting to be around you; making eye contact and then looking away. Wanting to be your friend, but pretending not to care about your friendship. Receiving a flirty comment but not really making one back. Being mad at you but wanting to make sure you're good. Mixed signals are these. Daryl Dixon is famous for this. It is one of the reasons his character is so appealing on paper and when acted out. Now, why does he do this? Some reasons include the following: he wants Carol's attention/validation, he is inexperienced at expressing his feelings, he's timid, he's afraid of rejection (which is one of Daryl's fears), he's insecure or nervous, or he can be flirting (some guys flirt by sending mixed signals. And I don't think some men can help that they do.) Daryl has does this with Carol, mainly in seasons 2, 3 and 10 and 11A so far. The mixed signals is one proof of attraction.
8. He doesn't mention other women, specifically. This is another sign of major attraction. If he was constantly bringing up his past relationship (Leah) or another woman (Connie), this would be a sure sign that he has feelings for them. But he never brings them up on his own. Carol has been the one to prompt him that we've seen regarding the two women, (Leah in 10x06 and 10x18 and Connie in 10x06, 10x09, and 10x18). Daryl never brings them up. And on the occasions in which Carol did bring them up, notice how Daryl either becomes upset/exasperated/frustrated or already is? All of those times, it was about the overarching relationship of Carol to Daryl. Can you imagine how frustrating it is not being a good communicator and dealing with someone you like who is misunderstanding your signals? Yup, that is Daryl and Carol. I remember an animated movie from 1991 called Only Yesterday that featured a man who was slightly younger than the main female protagonist. He had feelings for her but she never noticed it. When she sadly recounted her memories of a boy in her fifth grade class not wanting to shake her hand, the man answered and said "he didn't shake your hand because he liked you and didn't want to say goodbye." When the female protagonist argued it, he said "it's like the old saying goes: girls are blind to the love of boys." When she said "do you really believe that?" He, exasperated, responds: "sure, it's obvious. And it has always been so." Daryl is having the same dilemma with Carol as the male protagonist was having with the female protagonist of that movie. And both women were bogged down by their own low opinions of themselves that they couldn't see how the other person thought they were perfect. This creates frustration. Bringing up another woman? Why? When the woman they care about is right before them?
9. Touch. Men are better at showing their attraction to the woman they like through touch rather than verbal communication. This is a plus, because most men who do this are showing that woman they are invested in them. They would not regularly touch a woman they're aren't drawn to. Daryl shines in this area, since the number one woman he touches is Carol. Hugs (long and short) always communicate his needs, longings, desires, etc. Holding of the hand. My favorite is in season 5, when Daryl and Carol are in the van. As he is about to tip the van over, Carol reaches out and covers his hand with hers in order to be closer to him. Daryl responds by touching her hand with his thumb. It is adorable. If he gives a massage, this is a surefire way to know he is flirting/is attracted to you. Daryl has only ever given a massage to Carol. Wiping tears, caressing the head/hair, nuzzling, slight smiles, lingering eye contact (whether or not she is looking at him) are all documented signs of flirting and attraction.
10. Talking about the future. If a man speaks about the future and you're in it, it is a sign of attraction and that he cares about you. Daryl does this with Carol and only Carol. That conversation about running away together has been brought up quite a few times. He uses the "we" pronoun with them. Juxtapose to when he spoke to Leah, he tends to you "I" instead of "us". This creates distance, because he doesn't feel the same about her and/or doesn't trust her. That has never been the case with Carol.
11. Older men will flirt/show they really like you when they are willing to try something that you like, even if it is unusual for them. For example, when Daryl dismissed the idea of going out on a boat for long periods of time. Then after their fight in 10x21 Carol finds a book on being out at sea on Daryl's coffee table. And we can infer that he didn't just get that book. That means during all of season 10 when Carol and Daryl's relationship was on shaky ground, Daryl STILL acquired that book. Even when he was angry with her, he still had that book. He is willing to try new things, as long as he gets to be with her and that is flirtation/attraction. (Note: please do not confuse this with Connie and the ASL book. Do not conflate necessity with personal desire. Connie and Kelly were becoming integral parts of their community. Being able to communicate with them is smart. Strategic. It's like having to learn another language because of the clientele you deal/the market demands it with vs. wanting to do it because the other person is special in a different way to you. That's the Connie vs. Carol situation and those two books). Extra side note: Anyone else ever notice the ASL book is seen in Daryl's back pocket (meaning it's in the open) vs. The Golden Age of Piracy book is in his room (a private space, not in the open)? Well, I would strongly suggest that shows us his relationship with Connie is open and not hidden but his relationship with Carol is hidden in the most intimate spaces like his bedroom. So...I call that attraction.
12. Always taking your side. When a man really likes you, he takes your side. Notice how whenever Carol seemingly does something reckless, wrong or disconcerting, Daryl never openly disagrees with Carol. He never judges her decisions in front of other people and in fact, as in the case with Rick, Richard, and Maggie, defends Carol. But in private, he calls her out. People, that is a major "I am attracted to you and want to be with you" flag.
13. Lastly, he tells his family or people in his circle about you. He does not do this with Leah. Rather, he tells about Carol to other people and asks about her status to other people. Remember, when Daryl asked Hershel about Carol? I do. He singularly points her out. Because he is attracted to her. And everyone else knows it, too. Even Henry picked up on it, for goodness sake. When Daryl asked Ezekiel "you gonna ask about Carol?" Or when Kelly told Carol how everyone in town has heard about her from the "old days". By process of elimination, the only one around from the old days besides Carol is Daryl. I don't hear him keeping Leah or Connie's name on his lips. Because Carol is in a whole distinct category.
So, in conclusion, I would just like to reaffirm that Daryl is not "grossed out" or disinterested in Carol's earlier advances. He also shows clear signs of a man falling in love with his best friend, which is another conversation I think. But jealously is one of them, which Daryl has and taking interest in something of hers in an unusual manner. I understand if others don't ship Caryl. But don't cross a line and make Daryl's character out to be something it isn't. He is not a static character. He has progressed since season 1. In many areas, he's wiser and more mature. In other areas, he still needs help. This is how character progression is supposed to go. You should not think characters remain the same in every aspect since our first introduction to them. For example, when Daryl opened up/confided in Carol about possibly never seeing his brother alive again, that is not the same Daryl "opening up" to Connie about Merle in season 10 after he has had years to come to terms with the loss of his brother. And the showrunners we have had on this show, though bumpy at times, have managed to create the greatest ship on television in my opinion. Greatest ships are slow burns. Not boy likes girl in episode 1. Boy flirts with girl in episode 3. Boy sleeps with girl in episode 5. Those ships are almost never memorable. And flatline quickly.
Lastly, remember that Daryl is different from Negan, Rick, Shane, Glenn, Ezekiel, Abraham, Gabriel, Aaron, Jesus, Mercer, the Governor and other major male characters from the show. To my knowledge, he is the only middle-aged, abuse-survivor, who has experienced child neglect, abandonment and lack of a healthy social support system from early on. This has serious implications on how he views himself, communicates his feelings and how he regards intimacy. His only other match in this area? Carol.
By the way, all of the things I mentioned in this post you can look up on Google.
So just because you don't ship Caryl, that's no excuse for not following the chosen narrative for these characters. Daryl is not only attracted to Carol but as far back a season 2 (and nonverbally in season 1) Daryl has been flirting with Carol.
