Four people have left St Kilda’s Red Stitch Actors Theatre within the past six months, one citing fears for her safety, amid a series of complaints.
This morning I went back to Yoga class, I hadn’t been in well over a week, I needed it. It let me reflect on the last couple weeks and a particular article, you might not all have seen yet, but I’m about to talk about it.
These last 6 months have been tough, to say the least. Confusing, upsetting, eye-opening and heartbreaking are some of the words I would use to describe it. There have also been beautiful moments of kindness, generosity, support and gratitude throughout, but the fact remains that... we need to talk.
I do not intend this to be a ‘woe-is-me’ post. I’m done with that. I’m done being afraid, ashamed, embarrassed and disappointed.
Just in case there is any confusion, I love Acting and Theatre and all the magic that comes along with it. Those of us who are lucky and talented enough to make the good stuff hold my highest respects. I find it to be a sacred experience and should be treated as such. I do not want to ‘ruin’ any establishment that makes it and respects theatre and those involved in making it as much as I do. But no dream or art is worth giving up or losing your dignity, your safety, your happiness, being shouted at (sorry ‘loudly disagreed’ with) or your basic human rights, no career is worth staying silent to mistreatment, injustice or flat-out bullying. So somethings need to change.
I do have good memories of my very brief time there, I am grateful for those and mourn the fact I won’t get to create more. It is disappointing this has occurred and every day I wish it was different. I wish I didn’t ease closer to the group of aspiring actors who changed career paths after their experiences (but, luckily, I don’t quit easily), that it was handled better, that my eye wasn’t avoided in foyers, that I wasn’t afraid to speak up.
Last year the Australian theatre community burst into support of #MeToo & #TimesUp, with the statement of solidarity that appeared within hours of its first publication, on almost every theatre companies site or Facebook page...one particular company remains silent still.
This isn’t just my story. I’m just the only one on the record. We need to talk about this.
If you experience bullying in the workplace, please be sure to contact your union immediately, I did and their support has been invaluable to me.
This is a confronting conversation to start, but those are usually the best kind.
there’s nothing wrong with admitting you were once toxic.
there’s nothing wrong with admitting you made a couple people feel like shit.
there’s nothing wrong with admitting you fucked up and were horribly arrogant and parasitic.
there’s nothing wrong with admitting you did anyone wrong, especially if you’ve learned from it. If you’re humble enough to admit it, I guarentee there’s a bit of a good person inside of you.
“ I used to feel like the Ocean, but lately it’s more like I am a puddle.
Too scared to dare to be mighty.
Give me that gusty air,
Give me the night sky,
Give me my roaring waves.
Watch as I seep out and form myself.
The tide is coming in.”
when I love you, I’m going to love every single thing about you. I’m going to love the middle of the night breakdowns. I’m gonna love the midday happy FaceTime calls. I’m gonna love the sound of you sleeping. I’m going to love the sound of your voice, no matter what emotion you’re feeling. I’m going to love the way you look at me. I’m going to love the way you kiss me. I’m going to love the way you say “I love you.” I’m going to love your smile. I’m going to love your past. I’m going to love your passions and dreams. I’m going to love every little thing about you and I’m going to give you endless support because when I say I love you, I mean it.
That’s why it’s love—it’s unconditional. Whether you commit a mistake or a hundred, I would still love you. They say the most romantic kind of love is the unfinished kind. The kind that will forever burn and mark your soul.
I wish people could just say how they feel like ‘Hey I really don’t like when you do that to me’ or ‘Hey I’m in love with you’ or ‘Hi I really miss you and I think about you all the time’ without sounding desperate. Why can’t everyone be painfully honest and just save people the trouble.
I know it feels easier to tell yourself that the person who once loved you, never really loved you. But you’d be lying to yourself just to get through the pain a little easier. And the truth about that? It actually makes it harder. You know they loved you, you know the time you had together meant something. So do yourself a favor; and let it go. Let the time be its time, and keep your eyes always looking forward. You are loved. You were loved, and you are worth every second of love that will come your way. Just because things didn’t work out doesn’t mean they weren’t special to you, doesn’t mean you weren’t special to them. Love doesn’t always have to end in a dramatic disaster. Now a days we live in a generation where everyone tries to make the acceptance of loss into a nasty, grieving, abusive turn out. It doesn’t have to be that. You don’t have to let your heart rage in anger through your words or actions. You can be sad, and bitter, and hurt, and still move on with acceptance that you loved someone and they loved you unconditionally with the best of both of your abilities.
I know we’re broken up, but I’m thankful for your existence. (via shenayetylene)
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