Casper

LIKE THE GHOST

[casperbarris]

magicalastair‌:

‘Casper that’s crazy.’ Alastair laughed. The waiter came over for their drink order and Alastair asked for a pint of beer - he found he was drinking more of it lately. Maybe it was the whole Aspen stuff. ‘Sometimes you just need your own space. As long as you keep in touch that’s all that matters. A text here and there, you know? Don’t let it get to you.’

Casper ordered some water and some nuts. He was going through stages, where he found he’d drink quite a bit one week and then the next week he couldn’t think of anything worse. “That makes sense” he smiled, “So is there anything new in your life?”

[casperbarris]

theaspenbarris‌:

Aspen sobbed a little more before finally calming down and leaning against her brother as he comforted her. “I.. I’m really happy about it.. Terrified, Elated.. I don’t know..” she mumbled and licked her bottom lip now salty with tears. 

“I want to keep it, of course I do. I think.. I really want it..” she whispered and looked at him finally pulling away..”I haven’t told dad yet, I’m too scared too.. I don’t want him to be disappointed.”

“I’m sure he won't be” Casper tried to reassure the other, “And heck if he is. He’ll have to get over it.” Hugging her again, “Everything will be fine. What a storyline that would be. You winning a tony and then taking a break for your pregnancy. Everybody would be talking about it, like the star you are.” “This is exciting, I get you’re scared. But we’re all here for you. I wont disappear, i promise.”

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thelanamiddleton‌:

“Busy job would be the easy explanation.” She laughed “I’m a surgical resident at New York Pres.” it was said proudly. She frowned, the poor kid. “It sucks.. I know it sucks.. But.. I’m new here.. Kind of.. Just under a yea but like..  my life has changed, so much… so so much. I’ve lost people, I gained people but.. It’s all apart of life… Part of who makes me me.. The buildup? You know?” it made sense to her but she could have just been chatting shit.

“You seriously think that’s oversharing. Cute.”

“Oh, god” he exclaimed loudly, before shaking his head “Sorry, that sounded rude. But that must be a lot of effort.” He really respected people that had serious jobs like that, but he honestly didn’t know how they could do it. “That’s fair, I get what you mean. I know that I will feel comfortable here again soon enough. Just weird.” “Not oversharing as such, but somewhat to a new stranger. But I’m in a family of talkers, but I’m usually the quiet one.”

[casperbarris]

eviee-james‌:

“Yeah yeah yeah, I know you’ve always secretly hated me,” Evie teased. Of course, she knew that she wasn’t the kind of right winger he was referring to. “Is he like that? Or is he a bit more like me?  Secretive only works if it’s what you want. Like for me. If it’s not what you  want then it doesn’t work.” Then she gasped, “You deleted Grindr? Wow, you are a changed man.”

“Of course, Evie” he chuckled, “I think you’re an absolutely horrible human being.” Chucking one of his potato chips at the other jokingly, “Y’know i love you.” “He’s just all sneaky, and trying to act like something he’s not. I don’t like it.” “Tell me about it, it seems weird to not browse most evenings but I think it is for the best.”

[casperbarris]

qweenpax‌:

“I imagine once I meet the right person and do all that family stuff then I’ll know. I wouldn’t want to have kids without being part of a happy relationship, you know? Make my family like how it was growing up.” Pax nodded, reaching forward for his glass to hide the sudden but subtle shake of his hands. “Yeah, I am. Identical, here,” he pulled his phone out of his pocket and slid it towards Casper. His lock screen was a picture he and Rusty had taken after their first non-accidental drag show. It was the only picture they had together as adults where they looked happy.

Casper nodded, he completely understood what the other was saying and he definitely respected that mindset. “I understand” he nodded, “Better to raise them when you’re ready and in a happy and loving environment.” Casper smiled when the other showed him, and was shocked “God, you two do look alike. You might know my Sister, Aspen. She’s on Broadway, but if not here’s a picture” he showed the other, “I don’t have many. To be honest most of the photo’s on my phone are of my cat.”

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magicalastair‌:

‘A 35 year old Grandma?’ Alastair raised an eyebrow. How was that even possible?  ‘Wow… well at least I’m not 35. Then I’d really be concerned.’ There was still concern there, slight disappointment but some excitement too, he supposed. He just needed to get used to the idea. 

‘You’re going to be an Uncle, though. You’ll be the fun one I’m sure. The one where the kid comes to you and asks you for help - like your Uncle is for you guys.’

“Yeah, the Grandma was 35, had her child at 18, and then her child had a baby at 17″ he explained the situation to the other, “Crazy news isn’t it.” “Yeah, I hope I’ll be a fun Uncle. Not the uncle that disappears all the time, so I really need to stop doing that.”

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theaspenbarris‌:

“Casp.. Casper.. No.. This.. This isn’t about..” she shook her head tears now spilling freely down her cheeks. “My.. I.. Oh fuck..” she mumbled and just fisted her tshirt. “Casp.. I’m pregnant..” it barely came out, it was a harsh whisper, of course she was over the moon with her pregnancy, a little her or a little Ocean running around, and they were in a good place and she was happy.. And a Tony nominee, but… How was she going to tell her dad. Was he going to hate Ocean forever. This just wasn’t how she expected it to happen - but is has and she knew she had to settle with the reality of it. 

He held the other in his arms, and try tried to comfort her. When he heard the next thing he nearly spat his drink out, before quickly gulping it. “I...” Casper quickly yelped, “What??” “That’s insane. How do you feel about it? What are you going to do? Do you want to keep it? I’m assuming you do, wow that’s news. Have you told Dad? Sorry, I’m asking so many questions.”

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itsivytaylor‌:

“Yeah the … Illusion of a higher power, of something at the end.. It’s… It’s a safety thing I think.. Or so I used to think.. I don’t know anymore - and that’s okay too…” shrugging unsure of why she was emotional then it hit her like a tonne of bricks. “I…. I go to rehabilitation meetings.”

“Yeah, I get that” he shrugged. When he heard the next comment he nodded. He knew quite a few people who attended rehabitation, so he wasn’t going to pry too much. If she wanted to talk, he was sure that she would. “I see” he lightly smiled, “I go counselling. We all have our own demons, it’s good we’re trying to defeat them.

[roseperfume]

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[casperbarris]

thelanamiddleton‌:

“Oh god. I couldn’t do that.. My life makes me so antisocial I force myself to find time to go out, otherwise I’d never actually live”  she admitted and did a shot before looking at the guy, “You’re young… You’re cute… Why don’t you go out?” knowing that she was prodding but also just interested in what he had to say  - who could have more of a reason to avoid being social than her.

“Your life?” he asked, “Do you have a  really busy job or something?” Before chuckling at the next comment, shaking his head. “I don’t know, I need to go and have more fun. But I just can’t. I don’t know, I can’t explain it. I feel like I had everything -  and then I went travelling for two years i’ve come back expecting it to be the same. But it’s not - people have died, most of my friends have left. Like it’s weird.” “God, I just overshared so much sorry.”

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itsivytaylor‌:

“Oh please.. I just.. I learnt along the way that you’ve got to really live life for you, and to the fullest - because… Well at the end of the day.. We’re living to die.. Which sucks.. But its the harsh reality of truth and its bullshit..” she laughed softly. “My meetings really helped me see that.. You know?” not realising what she said.

Casper took the last sip of his drink, before swirling his empty cup around a bit. “Yeah, that’s a good point. I understand why people are religious, it gives the illusion of purpose. If that makes sense. Like, I’d love for it to be real - but I’m not even sure what i believe.” Casper didn’t know how to take the next comment, he didn’t know whether it was a slip-up or intentional. “Meetings?” he asked.

[casperbarris]

magicalastair‌:

God, was he excited to be a grandad? Alastair supposed, yes, deep down he really couldn’t wait. It would be nice to have babies around again, even if it was his baby that was having the baby.

‘I suppose so,’ he replied anyway. ‘I’m up and down about it.’ Alastair didn’t expect Casper to understand but he was sure he would when he was a parent himself. ‘I don’t feel old enough to be able to be a grandad!’

He knew his Dad was freaking out, even if he was trying to act like everything was fine. But Casper, was actually excited. It might finally give him some purpose, sure - he’d doubt Aspen would give him a lot of responsibility. But he hoped that he’d finally sort his own life out, to be a role model for his niece of nephew. 

“You’re going to be a young hip Grandad” he jokingly budged the other, “Even though, I hate to break it to you Dad. But I was watching one of those talk shows the other day and there was a 35 year old Grandma on there. Crazy” 

[casperbarris]

theaspenbarris‌:

Aspen blushed and nodded when he mentioned getting water, sitting down on the couch where she suddenly felt overwhelmed with everything that was happening in her life that she just burst into tears, sobbing into her hands - not even realising that Casper had brought the water into her. 

“Casp.. I’ve fucked up. I fucked up so bad..”

Casper took a sip of his own glass of water, before placing the others down on the table. He was guessing she was too hysterical to drink the water at the moment. “What the fuck, Aspen” Casper placed his hands firmly on the shoulders of the other. “You, you’re nominated for a Tony. You’re going to win THE tony” he grinned, “calm down. calm down.” “What have you fucked up? You’re the best person I know.”

[casperbarris]

magicalastair‌:

Alastair had been so busy he’d barely had time to stop and think about what was going on. In between working, doing his YouTube stuff, learning how to play the piano, saving money, planning what the fuck he was going to do about Aspen being pregnant… it was a lot and he felt like he hadn’t had time for his other children. So when Casper asked to meet up, Alastair was thrilled. Their relationship had been going well recently and he wanted to keep that going.

Not late, Alastair spotted his son sat at a table and made his way over with a smile on his face. ‘Hey!’ Al grinned, giving Casper a quick hug before sitting down opposite his youngest. ‘How have you been?’

Casper was finally starting to feel relaxed in New York again. Something, he hadn’t done in many years. Heck, he doesn’t even think he was relaxed in New York in his teens. He was constantly that teen who just sneaked out, like sure all he was doing was sitting in the park by himself at night. But, still he was constantly trying to escape - and for once he was comfortable where he was.

Casper hugged his Dad back, and then let a small smile out. “I’m good, I’m good. Nothing new here” he replied, “How about you?” “Excited to be a Grandad?” Casper let out a small chuckle.

[casperbarris]

qweenpax‌:

“To be fair, I don’t know,” Pax replied. “With what happened in my later teen years and the fact that I don’t think I could ever get somebody to want a kid with me…it’s hard to imagine. I think I’d like them if it happened that way, I just don’t really expect it to.” Maybe he was being pessimistic, it wouldn’t be the first time. “Thanks. I’m not sure I’m that talented, but it’s a lot of fun. It gives me a chance to be my own person instead of a twin.” Hearing it called that drag show mad Pax chuckle, Casper truly was a sporty gay. “Yeah, they are. It’s a nice place to be yourself.”

“Oh, okay” Casper calmy nodded, not wanting to impeach too much on the others life but he was so interesting. “Maybe, one day” Casper shrugged “You never know. But better to make sure you definitely want one first.” Hearing the other was a twin, Casper paused a moment.”You’re a twin as well?” Casper asked, “Are you guys identical though?”

[casperbarris]

@magicalastair

Casper hadn’t seen in his Dad in a while. Not intentionally. Casper didn’t even know where time was going. He couldn’t believe it was already May, he felt like it was only Christmas the other day. But there was a lot to talk about with his Dad, the fact there was another Barris baby on the way and his Sister getting a Tony and also he didn’t really know what was happening with his Dad’s life at the moment. They had planned to meet for lunch, and Casper was ten minutes early. He got a table for the two of them and ordered himself water as he waited.

[casperbarris]

qweenpax‌:

“I agree, that’s what I would do with my kids if I was ever going to have any, but I’m not planning on it so,” he shrugged, “I’ve been informally doing it since I was sixteen, but I actually got into it when I turned eighteen. Started doing shows at nineteen, but there isn’t a big scene for it in Virginia. I came to New York for college and now I’m living my life.” Pax cocked his head in genuine interest at Casper’s story because the kid seemed pretty cool. “I wish I had done more, but whatever, and don’t apologize, it’s been a long time.”

“Ah, are you not” he asked. Casper had always wanted to be a Dad. He wasn't sure whether he’d ever get the opportunity to be one, but it was something he really wanted in life. “That’s so cool. You must be really talented” Casper admitted to the other, “Like it takes a lot of nerve.” “New York is definitely the scene for it. I swear half the queens on that Drag show on tv are from New York” he nodded. Even though, he had only watched a few episodes with some of his old friends. “Fair enough.”