abracadabra

alastair barris 51 magician ENFP-A personality

[alastairbarris]

INSTAGRAM: al-bracadabra posted a photo

abarris it’s #pridemonth so I’m gonna get a little deep here..... for 49 years I hid who I truly am from the world & from myself. I hated everything about my sexuality & was constantly terrified of someone finding out. I didn’t want to be gay; I tried so hard to be in a happy marriage with a wonderful, beautiful woman but ultimately, I couldn’t do it any longer. The moment ‘I’m gay’ came out of my mouth for the VERY FIRST time, I cried. A lot. I cried in shame and I cried in relief and I cried in fear. I didn’t know how people would react. My ex wife was incredibly understanding and supportive. My dad made his opinions very clear and he’s probably the reason why I hid for so long even though he passed 23 years ago. But I’m out now and listen, kids, when people say it gets better IT REALLY DOES. I’m learning to accept myself & my sexuality every day. Sometimes I struggle and I think the heartbreak I recently suffered is a punishment from God for my sexuality, but it’s not. It’s just life. I’m so thankful that so many youngsters can be out and proud of themselves with no feqr. I can only hope to be that comfortable with myself one day. For now, taking it one day at a time will do. Be kind. Be accepting. Be understanding. Be you. 🏳️‍🌈 happy pride month everyone

[connectivitty-blog]

cell phone headcanons

send me “#” for cell phone headcanons about our muses including:                              - what your muse’s name is in mine’s phone                              - what your muse’s picture is in mine’s phone                              - what your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone                              - my muse’s last text to your muse

[rocketcandycouture]

Headcanon meme~

Put a symbol (or several) and a character/characters in my ask box, and I’ll give you a headcanon.  Yes.  Do it.

☾ - sleep headcanon

★ - sad headcanon

☆ - happy headcanon

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

✿ - Sex headcanon

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

♡ - romantic headcanon

♥ - family headcanon

☮ - friendship headcanon

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

▼ - childhood headcanon

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

☼ - appearance headcanon

ൠ - random headcanon

◉ - Any other question of your choosing

[melamemea]

drunken confession.

your muse is drinking with mine and has been given the chance to question my muse anything they want to know. some may be triggering, others won’t. send me a 🍻+ the question you want to ask my muse for a tipsy, drunken ( honest ) answer.

“ what’s holding you back in life ?”

“ is everything alright? ”

“ when did you choose to give up ?”

“ what’s the kinkiest thing you have ever done ?”

“ how many have you slept with ?”

“ what’s your biggest secret ?”

“ do you believe in love ?”

“ what’s the meanest thing you have done ?”

“ what scares you more than anything ?”

“ have you ever considered running away ?”

“ do you love me ?”

“ what’s your dirtiest fantasy ?”

“ who hurt you ?”

“ what made you this way ?”

“ is there anyone special in your life ?”

“ why are you always smiling ?”

“ what lie have you told that hurt someone ?”

“ if you could do anything in world, what would it be ?”

“ who are you, really ?”

“ is there anything you regret ?”

“ what’s your biggest regret ?”

“ tell me about your first kiss ?”

“ what is your deepest, darkest fear ?”

“ is there anyone you regret kissing ?”

“ have you ever cheated, or been cheated on ?”

“ what is the most embarrassing thing in your room ?”

“ who have you loved, but they didn’t love you back ?”

“ is there something you have never told anyone ?”

“ when was the last time you cried ?”

“ how come you keep running away ?”

“ have you ever made someone cry ?”

“ if anything, what makes you hate a person ?”

“ what takes for you to fall in love, trust someone ?”

“ do you believe in true love ?”

“ what have you done that people would judge you most for doing ?”

“ do you regret letting me close ?”

“ is there someone you have a crush on ?”

“ what is the strangest place you have ever had sex ?”

“ tell me your most awkward date story ?”

“ do you ever get scared ?”

“ what do you really think of life ?”

add your own for further development.

[judenolans]

& @billie-g​

[alastairbarris]

therevralphbirk‌:

Ralph couldn’t help how his face lit up, just ever so. The reverend was blessed with quite the… apathetic look to him. One to give Wednesday Addam’s a run for her money but he didn’t mean it. That was just his face. And he loved the beach, “A trip to the beach would surely make the dogs very happy. I have one that I frequent if you’d like to join me some day. Feel free to bring yours. I’m sure Ramses and Alf would love the company.” He smiled, resting his pointer and middle finger against the side of his chin, “The most stage experience I have is co-hosting Gay Bingo for LA Aids fund one every month. Feel free to swing by for that as well if you’re interested. There’s always a theme, and my co-host is one of the local drag queens so that’s always good fun.” 

He tilted his head slightly as Al explained, “Well, there surely is a difference in maturity from 20 to 50, different life experiences which might make things harder. But the key is that you’re both consenting adults, isn’t it?” Ralph didn’t know how he’d feel if Mae or even Eli or John or Grace came home with a partner his age. He supposed he’d just be worried they weren’t being taken advantage of. “It’s just if that age gap bothers you or not. And you’re both in it for the right reasons.”

A nod, humming gently, “I try to be. And it definitely helps. If you can’t talk to me then what’s the point? That’s why people flock away from the church. It’s not welcoming. Too many people feel uncomfortable which is the fault of the church and my ministry to remedy that as best I can.” He smiled, “11am is around when we start if you’d like to stop by. I make sure there’s coffee, don’t worry.”

‘That would be so great. Dexter and Daisy love meeting new people, especially dogs. What kind are yours?’ Alastair talked about his dogs like they were his second and third children; it kept him occupied and less lonely now that Aspen had moved out, that was for sure. Alastair laughed. ‘Gay Bingo? How have I never heard of this before in my life? That sounds great. Just let me know when and where.’

It seemed like they were making plenty of plans for the future; Alastair knew he had made a great friend in Ralph. 

‘You’re doing a very good job at getting me to come back,’ Alastair admitted, sitting back in his chair with his arms folded across his chest. ‘I was so nervous and apprehensive to even come inside but... yeah, I don’t know how to explain it. I just felt immediately relaxed - at home.’ A small smile graced his face. ‘11am is perfect. Not too early - although I do like to wake up early and watch the sunrise sometimes. There’s a great spot in my backyard you can watch it from.’

He was still flicking through the menu, not really sure if he was that hungry to order anything, but enjoying Ralph’s company too much to want their conversation to finish. ‘I may just get dessert and screw what my Doctor says about eating right just this once,’ he chuckled. ‘What do you think?’

[alastairbarris]

theaspenbarris‌:

“Wow. You better bring me back something nice..” she laughed and then nodded “One hundred percent.. They can stay with me and I’ll go check the house every day too..” She couldn’t help but feel a little proud of him, getting his life on track.

“Welll.. Forget the finals for now. What was your audition piece? What would you do for the second audition piece?”

‘Well that’s just it - I need to decide what route to showcase. Do I do sleight of hand stuff or do I do the more hardcore, dangerous stuff?’ He asked. ‘What do you think I should do? I was working on some escape stuff... like, being in a glass box in chains underwater trying to get out while holding my breath. I can hold my breath for almost 4 minutes under water now you know.’

[alastairbarris]

One of Alastair’s favourite places in LA was the beach. There was something about the water and the sand and how quiet it was early in the morning that he loved. There were barely any people around as he walked with the dogs; Dexter and Daisy were off their leashes, dashing in and out of the water, barking and playing with each other as Alastair took a slow stroll, waking up. He felt incredibly grateful that he could do this. 

He’d been looking down at the sand as he walked when he heard a bark ahead and finally looked up, seeing the dogs darting towards another person. Shit. As well behaved as his pets were, they loved meeting other people... sometimes, though, other people weren’t as keen to meet them. 

‘Sorry!’ He called, running after the dogs, who jumped up once at the stranger before running off again. ‘Sorry.’ Eventually, he got to the stranger. ‘Sorry, I’m so sorry, there’s never usually anyone around this early. I would’ve had them on their leashes otherwise. Are you okay?’

@soundlessglass

[alastairbarris]

holli-flynn-at-your-service‌:

Hollis shook his head, “I haven’t but now that I know it’s on Netflix I’ll watch it and report back to you in no time.” He paused as Al continued, “I definitely think I’m a little more… guarded over my heart nowadays. I don’t know if I was in love with my ex right away. It was something that happened over time, and by the point everything fell apart I was in so deep it was devastating.”

A small smile, “I’ve never seen Legally Blonde. To be honest I gravitate to older films, you know old Hollywood? There’s something so… glamorous and interesting about them. I watched so many when I was stuck in bed for a while. I think it was some sort of escapism.”  laughing, “I’ve been told I’m a bit of a stereotype myself. Lots of awkward thumbs up and loving both cats AND dogs.”

Hollis was happy too, honestly, but he wasn’t sure if he could ever be what Al wanted, “I had a good time. And I think the same about you. You know I love your company. I’m just not sure we’re…” He paused to think, “What we need romantically. And I want you to be happy.” He paused to look at Al, stopping them on the sidewalk so they could speak undistracted. He wanted to make sure Al knew he was being genuine, placing a hand on Al’s shoulder, “Seriously, Al, you deserve to be with someone who you really click with. And I don’t know if that’s me.” He didn’t want to create something that wasn’t there, that’s what happened with Sara after all. And sure, he fell for her hard after a while but in the end they both ended up disappointed. “D’you think we could make it work as friends?”

In Alastair’s opinion, there wasn’t a worse feeling than rejection, even if it was said in such a lovely way. Deep down, he knew Hollis was right. Hollis was young, full of life, had everything ahead of him. There was a big gap between them and just because Alastair found somebody attractive and easy to get along with didn’t mean that they were destined to get together. He always got ahead of himself.

With a deep breath and a smile, Alastair finally nodded. ‘Oh yeah, absolutely. Friends is great.’ Isn’t that what kids these days called friend-zoned? 

Al could protest that he clicked well with Hollis, but he wasn’t going to jeopardise a friendship because of his own feelings, and besides he hadn’t really thought about Hollis in that way properly until this date. They could just call it dinner between friends rather than a first date.

‘I’d love to be just friends with you.’ He laughed lightly and rubbed the back of his head. ‘Guess I should head back home now - back to the dogs.’

[theaspenbarris-deactivated20210]

alastairbarris‌:

‘That makes sense!’ Alastair smiled. It was always good to take a break when you’ve worked hard solidly. You didn’t want to burn out. He smiled when Aspen asked about new gigs.

‘Well…’ he started. 'I applied for a show. A talent show.’ Alastair had talked about doing this for ages but had never applied before. 'Britains Got Talent.’

He couldn’t help but grin. 'I know it’s crazy but I just thought why not?’

Aspen nodded, taking the time whilst Al spoke to really spoke up everything, what he was saying, the beautiful atmosphere, gorgeous weather, but most importantly the ice cream sandwich. She was licking her way through the middle when Al mentioned a talent show and she coughed.

“Sorry.. Britain as in.. England.. As in across the ocean?” she asked and raised a brow, this actually really upset her because, well he’d be so far away if he got it and she wouldn’t be able to support him, but then again.. She’d be so proud if he did get it.  She paused for a moment not really knowing what else to say and she couldn’t help but smile at his grin, it was one of pure excitement. Like a child on Christmas morning.

“Oh daddy.. That is just wonderfully crazy. I think you’re going to get it.” she nodded and put a hand on his squeezing lightly. “And you’ll get to see the UK which I’m sure you’d adore. Just don’t fall in love with it too much. Okay?”

[alastairbarris]

'Yeah, England.' Alastair grinned. He was excited, and couldn't believe that he had actually applied. 'Will you be able to look after the dogs? I'll be gone for a couple of weeks.'

Alastair needed to figure out what he was going to do, and he knew that it had to be good.

'I'm so excited! Can you imagine if I got through to the live finals? I've no idea what I'm going to do -- something dangerous, like, something that they're going to love. You know?'

[smilecapsules-deactivated202106]

actor gif meme → @mad-love-for-musicals​​​ asked: hugh jackman + [16] favorite reaction(s)

[theaspenbarris-deactivated20210]

alastairbarris‌:

Alastair sat and listened to his daughter talk about filming, finishing off his ice cream sandwich. He’d always had a sweet tooth so when it came to thinks like ice cream, he’d eat them in a hurry. 

‘What are you going to do when it’s finished? Take a break and relax or audition for something else?’ He asked, turning to look at Aspen. ‘I’m good. Magic is good.’ Al nodded. ‘No updates from me, life has kind of just been… happening. I’ve not been trying to control anything, just going with the flow.’

Aspen smiled as her dad literally finished his sandwich in practically two bites and couldn’t help but remember the old days where they’d try and make them at home but the cookies would be gone before the ice cream was soft enough to scoop.

“I think I’m going to take a break.. There’s been talks and hopefully a season two is going to be confirmed in a couple of days.. So. A break before the craziness of season 2 starts” she admitted and smiled at him. “Yeah? Any new gigs?” she asked and bit into the cookie with a happy little sigh. 

[alastairbarris]

'That makes sense!' Alastair smiled. It was always good to take a break when you've worked hard solidly. You didnt want to burn out. Yeah smiled when Aspen asked about new gigs.

'Well...' he started. 'I applied for a show. A talent show.' Alastair had talked about doing this for ages but had never applied before. 'Britains Got Talent.'

He couldn't help but grin. 'I know it's crazy but I just thought why not?'

[alastairbarris]

therevralphbirk‌:

Ralph laughed, “I don’t know how much I can offer content wise, but if only to spend more time together then I’ll give it a go. My talents are fairly, niche, I have to say.” He doubted Al wanted him to preach. But in reality, Ralph was being modest. He could cook and sing and play instruments, all tiktok worthy things, “I’m happy to pick a card or be your lovely assistant however.”

He tilted his head then, “You mean you missed exploring your sexuality during that time?” he rubbed his chin, considering this, “To be fair my marraige was nowhere near the norm but I can understand the sentiment.” He wouldn’t go too into detail about his open relationship with his lesbian wife. “But now you can explore those relationships with all of the understanding that comes from your 50′s. I find it makes navigating relationships easier.” There was less drama everyone had ‘been there’ and ‘done that’ and had responsibilities to attend to. Ralph, at least, couldn’t – wouldn’t – dedicate too much time to relationships that felt like work.

An amused smile, but he didn’t respond directly, “And if you ever want to talk about anything I’m here. Work, family, being a gay man in LA…” He listed, “I can be of some assistance when it comes to all of those things.” He checked his phone, noting the emoticons and saving that information for later. They were walking the line of what was appropriate, something Ralph did very well.

‘We don’t have to do just that,’ Alastair replied. ‘We could go to the beach, or watch a movie... Go to dinner?’ He suggested with a light shrug. It was nice that somebody wanted to spend time with him that wasn’t his daughter, or somebody he’d slept with. Al seemed to sleep with all of the guys he considered his friends. ‘You’d be a great assistant.’

‘Mmhm.’ Al nodded. ‘I find myself... drawn to people who aren’t in their 50′s.’ He hoped Ralph would understand that. ‘Men in their 30′s... and sometimes their 20′s.’ Alastair couldn’t help but cringe: it sounded awful out loud. No wonder Aspen disliked it so much. ‘I’d like to date someone my age I just can’t seem to find somebody I get along with.’

There was always something in the way, or something that put him off them, or them off him. 

‘Yeah I’d love that. You’re easy to talk to. I guess you have to be, with your line of work, right? Helping people out, giving them advice.’ Alastair smiled. ‘What time are you open on Sundays? I want to come to one of your services.’

[theaspenbarris-deactivated20210]

Aspen licked the ice cream off of her wrist and smiled at her dad, they were sat sunbathing in the meadows eating an ice cream sandwich from ‘MILK’. “It’s so weird that filming is almost over..” she pouted and heaved a little sigh, the past couple of months had been a whirlwind, and with the last couple of episodes filming back to back they were nearly done with the season, of course it had been shorter than a normal series but she’d miss it. “How are you? How’s the magic world?” licking round her sandwich, lapping happily at the frozen treat.

@alastairbarris​

[alastairbarris]

Alastair sat and listened to his daughter talk about filming, finishing off his ice cream sandwich. He’d always had a sweet tooth so when it came to thinks like ice cream, he’d eat them in a hurry. 

‘What are you going to do when it’s finished? Take a break and relax or audition for something else?’ He asked, turning to look at Aspen. ‘I’m good. Magic is good.’ Al nodded. ‘No updates from me, life has kind of just been... happening. I’ve not been trying to control anything, just going with the flow.’

[alastairbarris]

holli-flynn-at-your-service‌:

That surprised Hollis, “What? Get outta here.” he smiled. Al was so personable, Hollis had figured his social circle was massive, “Well, I’m glad to be one of them. Hollis raised his glass to toast, clinking his glass against Al’s before taking a sip. Al was nothing like Hollis’ ex. There were a lot of reason. Al seemed to, like Hollis, feel a lot for one. Sara could be very… robotic sometimes, they couldn’t always give each other what they needed or how.

He sat down his drink, excited now, “Have you ever watched Married at First Sight? If not we have to marathon it. It’s the best show.” A laugh, “Well, I’m a sucker for romance films. I know, ridiculous, but Titanic? Makes me cry every time.”

Hollis was having a good time and by the end of the night he was laughing easily, completely at ease in Al’s company. Sure, Hollis knew Al had money. But Hollis also knew how to be sneaky, “I would but it’s already taken care of.” A smile, “I passed the waiter my card when I went to the bathroom. You’ll get me next time.” A wink.

Hollis took the check back from the server, signing and placing his wallet back into his pocket. He noticed the little looks, the shy blushes, but wanted to hear directly from Al how things were going. This was a good thing, wasn’t it? This way, they could decide properly if things were working or not without any hurt feelings. They could at least say they tried and move on from it.  He began as they were preparing to leave, figuring this conversation was best to be had in the privacy of a cool night’s walk, “So, how are you feeling?”

‘No, never seen it but I feel like I should now. Have you seen Love is Blind on Netflix? That was a rollercoaster and a half but I felt like I was watching myself with these people falling in love within two days. That’s what happened with my ex.’

You weren’t supposed to talk about your ex on a first date, Al suddenly realised, but he was sure Hollis wouldn’t mind so much. He was just so easy to talk to. 

‘Yes! Titanic, The Notebook, all of them just kill me.’ Alastair laughed. ‘Honestly, I love all those kinds of movies - and the ones like Legally Blonde.’ He covered his face with a laugh. ‘I’m literally a walking gay stereotype, aren’t I?’

When Hollis said that he’d already paid, Al blinked at him, surprised. ‘Oh come on! Really?’ Another laugh. It seemed all he did around Hollis was smile and laugh. ‘Alright. I’ll get the next time then. Sneaky.’

He stood and gathered his jacket, the two of them now outside. Alastair had walked to the first bar, so he wasn’t driving. ‘I’m feeling...’ Now was the time to be honest about this situation. If he wasn’t honest, he would regret it. And if Hollis didn’t feel the same way then that was fine; he could just be friends with him.

‘Really good. Happy. I enjoyed this.’ Alastair admitted. ‘And I’d like to do it again. I think you’re great company, easy to talk to, I feel like we have some things in common. I think you’re very handsome... and I’d like to walk you home.’ Al laughed nervously. ‘How do you feel?’ He asked. ‘Be honest.’

[therevralphbirk]

alastairbarris‌:

Alastair smiled. ‘Yeah I have one. It’s doing okay, actually, and I got a TikTok account? You know what all the kids are on these days with those little videos and those dances and stuff?’ It was amusing, and he was fairly sure that he was the oldest person on the social media app now. Who knew. The only thing he did know that a few people liked his stuff, now he had 1500 followers. ‘You’ll have to be in one sometime.’ He grinned. ‘I bet your kids would love that.’

He nodded. ‘Yeah it does feel like that! Everyone I bump into seems to be the same age as my daughter. It’s nice to talk to somebody that’s my age. Makes me feel less old.’ Al laughed. ‘Although I definitely don’t tend to act my age. Is that the same for you? How do you stop thinking you’re still in your 20s?’

Al shook his head, sipping on water. ‘No, you definitely don’t come across as preachy. You’re easy to talk to, nice to look at.’ He shrugged his shoulders. ‘It feels like I’ve known you longer than about an hour.’

Ralph laughed, “Ah already ahead of the game I see. To be honest, I’m not the best with technology…” A pause, “TikTok? No I’ve never heard of it.” Mae, his youngest, has definitely filmed him for her TikTok account before but, of course, Ralph never had any idea what she was doing on her phone. Another laugh, “Oh, I’m sure they would. They’d never leave me alone about it.” He quirked an amused brow at Al, “Will I become a regular on your… what do they even call it? Is it a channel? What would you have me do?”

Al definitely was more spirited than Ralph who leaned closer to phlegmatic. “Theres nothing wrong with being old,” He smiled, laughing, “Age is just a number – I don’t think you have to, but I’m pretty pleased to be in my 50s. Anyway by the time I was 25 I had a child so maybe I didn’t get the full twenties experience.”

His eyes narrowed playfully at the compliment, “We have that in common, then.” Ralph folded his hands on the table, “Well, I’ll be happy to continue to get to know you better.” He slid a card out of his breast pocket, flipping it over to the back and jotting down his cell phone number. “The numbers on the front are the church and my work phone, but, I figure as a friend you should have my personal.” He held the card out to Al between his middle and pointer finger, eyes holding Al’s gaze, “Call me anytime.”

[alastairbarris]

'Yeah, a channel I guess that's what it's called,' Alastair answered with a coy smile, 'you could definitely be a regular. If you wanted. I'd like it.' He shrugged a shoulder, eyes dipping down to the water.

Fingers played with the straw in his glass, teeth biting his bottom lip. Alastair hummed in agreement and nodded. 'Yeah. I feel like I missed out on my 20's too. Especially being a gay man. I mean -- I wouldn't change what happened for the world because I have Aspen, you know? But I wish it had been under different circumstances when I moved out here.'

Alastair was confident that Ralph would understand what he meant. The two of them had been through similar situations. Ralph just seemed to be a little bit ahead in his progress.

His eyes flicked up to meet Ralph's as he held out the card, and Alastair smiled, taking the card slowly. 'A friend?' he asked with a raised eyebrow and a slight smirk. 'Thanks... I'll definitely call you.'

Alastair took his phone from his pocket and punched in Ralph's numbers. He sent a quick text, a smile emoji and a tongue out emoji would do.

'Now you can call me too. If you want.'

[smilecapsules-deactivated202106]

actor gif meme → @snikt-snack​​ asked: hugh jackman + [19] favorite fashion

[alastairbarris]

therevralphbirk‌:

Ralph chuckled at the idea of a claustrophobic escape artist, “I don’t do well in tight spaces either. Lucky for me I’m not paid to be in them.” He considered Al for a moment, “Just a thoughts, (I don’t know much about the logistics of this mind…) but have you considered YouTube?” A half shrug, “Seems like an easy way to grow a following, help get your name out there. Occasionally, I post sermons online, but those are always unlisted and unedited. I’m sure it’s a lot of work, your daughter would know more about it than I do.”

He seemed to have a natural way of connecting with people, Ralph, though to be fair he most often enjoyed his own company or the company of his pets. Al, however, was just as easy to talk to.

Ralph smiled at the offer, leaning back slightly in his chair, relaxed, “That’d be nice. You know, Al, sometimes it feels like we live in a town of twenty-somethings. Is that just me?” He asked, amused, “It’d be nice to spend time with someone closer to my age than to my childrens’.” his eyes seemed to smile, “I appreciate that more than you know. Sometimes I worry about coming off too,” waving a hand as he searched for the words, “Well, for lack of better term: preachy.”

Alastair smiled. ‘Yeah I have one. It’s doing okay, actually, and I got a TikTok account? You know what all the kids are on these days with those little videos and those dances and stuff?’ It was amusing, and he was fairly sure that he was the oldest person on the social media app now. Who knew. The only thing he did know that a few people liked his stuff, now he had 1500 followers. ‘You’ll have to be in one sometime.’ He grinned. ‘I bet your kids would love that.’

He nodded. ‘Yeah it does feel like that! Everyone I bump into seems to be the same age as my daughter. It’s nice to talk to somebody that’s my age. Makes me feel less old.’ Al laughed. ‘Although I definitely don’t tend to act my age. Is that the same for you? How do you stop thinking you’re still in your 20s?’

Al shook his head, sipping on water. ‘No, you definitely don’t come across as preachy. You’re easy to talk to, nice to look at.’ He shrugged his shoulders. ‘It feels like I’ve known you longer than about an hour.’