like a rainbow with all of the colors

cassie croft. 26. sister. teacher. dancer. laugher. friend. seller of candy. whovian. :) "i got no a-levels, no job, no future, but i tell ya what i have got; jericho street jr school, under 7s gymnastics team; i got the bronze"- rose tyler

[casscroftgymnast]

↳INSTAGRAM: @cassie.oh uploaded a photo

lou and scotty are gone for a WEEK doing promo can you tell i’m already bored!!!

[casscroftgymnast]

journal entry // 14.09.2022

Dear Diary,

It’s been a while! I’ve been busy, but today I’m feeling conflicted.

Dean wants to me by friend — or, well, he thinks we already are friends? Which is crazy. All he ever does is shout at me. Well, not always. Sometimes he’s actually really patient and nice, but… the past shouting used to make me think he hated me, but I guess not.

Just, even when he’s mean to me, I don’t hate him. And maybe Lou was onto something? He said Dean is totally my type, but… all of my exes have hurt me. Is that the kind of guy Dean is too? He seemed angry when I talked about my exes, like he wanted to hurt them for hurting me, but… I dunno. Lou and Dean seem to always wanna talk with their fists too. Not like Scotty does — he wouldn’t hurt a fly! But am I destined for that? Guys who would rather punch their way through life than talk?

I dunno. I don’t think Dean is like that, not really. And Lou has just been through so much! I love him and he’s the best, and sometimes I wonder if maybe we could be something, but then Dean…

And it’s so stupid! I don’t like him like that, do I? He doesn’t like me like that, that’s for sure! Ugh, who am I even kidding? Nobody likes me like that.

Diary, my head hurts. I’m gonna go annoy Killian! He’ll know what to do.

Love, Cassie.

[casscroftgymnast]

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh nah. someone just needs to look after you, eh?

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop maybe we can look after each other :)

[casscroftgymnast]

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh we are friends, dummy.

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh also, you're not the person in this situation i'm judging.

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop hehe, you're the dummy :)

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop thanks, dean. see? you really are the cutest guy there is.

[casscroftgymnast]

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh sometimes annoyance but mostly reluctant friendship?

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh .... no, cass. not everyone has that.

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop well, even if i annoy you, i wanna be your friend :)

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop oh. okay. um, try not to judge me, then.

[casscroftgymnast]

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh it's not obvious to me? i don't hate you.

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh YES?

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh with his knob, cassie... what do you mean, you have exes for that?

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop huh... then what DO you think of me? it sure FEELS like hate

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop aw crap

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop EW!!!!!!!!! no!!!!! i thought you meant, like, PUNCHING! hence, um, the exes. everyone has at least one ex like that, right?

[casscroftgymnast]

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh what? i don't hate you

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh there's a delete button right there, croft. also a backspace button. maybe utilise it, eh?

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh or get your mate to sort you out

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop sure ya do! it's pretty obvious!

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop you can DELETE tweets?

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop sort me out? with his fists?? i have exes for that, thanks. jeez.

[casscroftgymnast]

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh i... how did this lead to your mate wanting to fight me? it sounds like i'm the victim in this scenario... of being sexually objectified.

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh oh i'm definitely calling HR

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop ummm he thinks it's stupid that you hate me when i think you're neat? i can't remember. so you should ALSO forget this happened!

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY!!! I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD SEX IN LIKE 3 YEARS

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop wait you didn't need to know that i hate twitter i think

[casscroftgymnast]

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh you definitely can't unsend tweets but you CAN explain yourself

deanbishop: @cassie.oh i don't think pushing around small blonde women makes him much of a man, does it? he could probably do with a pointer or two himself.

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop you have a cute butt. what more do you want me to say? just because you're sometimes a jerk to me doesn't mean i can't also objectify you in the privacy of my text messages!

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop hey, i'm not small! i'm big and strong and could have you on your back in minutes!

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop wait... i didn't mean... unsend?

[casscroftgymnast]

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh genitalia is bloody hilarious

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh .... what did i do now? why's your fit poet boyfriend always trying to fight me?

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh i never called you a fairy princess. maybe one or the other, but never both squashed together!

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop nothing, actually! we were just chatting! and i said that i think you're neat and you have a cute butt!

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop wait, can i unsend tweets?

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop anyway! he isn't my boyfriend. and you didn't, but what if that guy saw me giving a manly man like YOU tips in this manly male gym?! :O hehehe

[casscroftgymnast]

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh knob. dick. willy.

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh who's my competition?

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh yeah, that'd be alright by me. i think i could give you a few pointers. i'm sure you've got some for me.

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop hehehehe willy! lol!

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop umm lou lou! that's funny wording too because it's you he wanted to fight! well- no, not that he wants to fight you? nevermind

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop i dunno. i didn't think you'd take tips from a fairy princess like me!

[casscroftgymnast]

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh you know. the end of your knob. bellend. and sort him out with... my fists? i thought you watched a lot of british telly?

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh it wasn't a landing you could have anticipated, and piss poor sportsmanship from the other guy. next time we train together, do you wanna point him out to me?

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop the end of my WHAT?! and i do, but they don't say THAT in doctor who!!

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop you're the second guy that's offered to beat someone up for me today. there must be something in the water.

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop it's okay. but, hey... you wanna train together again? :D

[casscroftgymnast]

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh he SHOVED you? absolutely bellend. want me to come sort him out?

@deanbishop: @cassie.oh you alright?

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop what's a bellend? and sort him out with what? brits are confuuuuuuuusing

@cassie.oh: @deanbishop i'm fine. grazed palms from a weak landing (i could practically hear you telling me i should know better!) and a bruised ego. nothing a few tears didn't fix.

[casscroftgymnast]

@cassie.oh: a man at the gym just shoved me, told me to "go back to my fairy princess castle" (not the insult he thinks it is), and to "quit taking up male spaces". i am a pacifist but i'm beginning to wish i was a trained FIGHTER rather than gymnast! ugh!

[casscroftgymnast]

TEXT: LOU LOU

Louis: Only like every day, sweetheart. But I did keep trying to fuck her boyfriend. I think you'd be safe.

Louis: You're very easy to love, Cass. You're sexy and funny and you care. He'd be stupid not to like you.

Louis: Buy him candy. Hell, buy him flowers. It's a very Cassie thing to do.

Cassie: yeah, that makes sense... your relationship with scotty is kinda weird. (but murder?!)

Cassie: aww. thanks baby. i dunno... i think maybe i hate me enough for everyone, but dean... ugh, why can't i just let this go?

Cassie: thanks, lou. i think i'm gonna do that :)

[casscroftgymnast]

TEXT: LOU LOU

Louis: I maybe wouldn't hate that.

Louis: Scotty kinda has this way of making people melt around him. An effect I didn't have on Indra, who wanted me dead and maybe even had the means to make it happen. But something about them just kinda clicked.

Louis: Cassie, there's tons of reasons to like you. You should like you, we all like you. We fucking love you.

Cassie: WAIT WHAT???????????????????????????????????

Cassie: did she threaten you? would she treaten ME? why would scotty date such a MONSTER?????

[a minute passes]

Cassie: sorry that might have been an over reaction.

Cassie: but aw! i love you! i dunno if that's super true, i can't think of any reason he - or anyone - might like me, but i appreciate it.

[casscroftgymnast]

TEXT: LOU LOU

Louis: THIS relationship. Meaning the three of us. Platonic, not romantic. Friendship, relationship, whatever you wanna call it. At this stage we all might be dating Scotty.

Louis: Big fucking question. I don't know if Scotty will ever be over her. She's a hard woman to get over. As for me, I've got a poetry collection I'm flogging if you wanna try and read between the lines?

Louis: Cassie, this guy IS a jerk. But I'm being nice because I wanna see you happy. And for whatever backwards-ass reason you seem to like this guy.

Cassie: ohhhhhhhhh my bad. hey, maybe we SHOULD date him!

Cassie: yeah, that's true. don't ya think she's kinda scary? it's hard to see scotty with her... i mean, you've met her a bunch and i haven't but... scary! also i have like six copies at home and another three at my dad's apartment, babe! but i get it.

Cassie: oh. well, um, i don't LIKE like him, i just like him the same way like you! and i want him to like me because when people don't like me it makes me think about why and when i think about why i start thinking about why i also don't like me!