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Shaman of the House of Riot. Captain of The Ship of Fools - old queer - 55

[ledbythreads]

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collected fanfiction works of ledbythreads by L. B. Threads Esq is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

Based on collected works at https://archiveofourown.org/users/ledbythreads.

[capybaralovers]

[rastronomicals]

1:31 AM EDT May 30, 2026:

Led Zeppelin - “For Your Life” From the album Presence (March 31, 1976)

Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm

Much in the same way that the lyrics to The Beatles’ “Glass Onion” acknowledged with a nod and a reluctant wink the gnostic cult of Paul-is-Dead, the packaging of Led Zeppelin’s Presence acknowledged the I’m sure at-least-somewhat-discomfitting fact that their group had long since become the most humongous rock band in the world.

By the time of The White Album, and by the time of Presence, respectively, things had gotten to the point where expedience was no longer expedient. The Beatles had tried not to feed the conspiracy theorists, and Zeppelin–modest at least in this one regard–had stayed away from licensing lunchboxes and appearances on Don Kirshner’s Rock Concert. But at a certain point, things get so big, and so plain, that they become the elephant in the room.

Presence seems to be Zep’s acceptance of their own status (beyond even their own control) as Big Dumb Object, an enormous artifact of unfathomable consequence.

That’s dumb as in “incapable of speech,” not as in “stupid,” just so we’re straight. But since we’re there, let me note that Presence perhaps more than any Zeppelin album save II demonstrates that a certain amount of stoopidity is unavoidable or even desired if you’re going to play the cock-rock game.

Plant’s lyrics to “Achilles” reference some etching or the other of William Blake’s, so my point is not to disparage Zeppelin’s obvious operational intelligence. Still, Zeppelin were all about contrast: I dare you to check out the live video from ‘77, and tell me that Plant’s suggestive mannerisms as he sings the band’s 11-minute epic aren’t a little stoopid … .

Ah, but I digress, ‘cause the key concept here is not “Dumb” but “Big.” Think thunder. Think “Hammer of the Gods,” if that helps.

After four albums where at least part of the idea had been to leaven the heaviness with keyboards or acoustic instruments, Presence was a return to the undiluted bombast of the second album. Guitar bass drums voice recorded in a mere 18 days–not necessarily simple, but certainly direct.

The instrumental contrasts that for good or ill had been there on III, IV, Houses of the Holy, and Physical Graffiti were absent on the band’s seventh album–and maybe that’s why it’s long been their least popular. Funny thought, that: maybe Zeppelin were so goddamned popular not because of the parts that rocked, but because of the parts that didn’t!

I don’t want to go overboard, however. I don’t want to make it sound as if Presence were a piece of the nascent pub rock of the time, because the very first track belies that. “Achilles” is the third longest studio track for the band and features perhaps Page’s most intricate guitar orchestration, with as many as 12 overdubs. It’s routinely described as proggy, or even Yes-like (and if you don’t believe that, consider that Dream Theater is one of the many acts who have covered the song). And note that Jonesy is playing an eight-string bass.

Leave it to this band of contrasts to feature a 10-½ minute song about a Greek demigod with painstakingly multitracked guitars on their back-to-basics record … Presence is perhaps Led Zeppelin’s most misunderstood album, but for Page Plant Jones & Bonham, that may have been The Object all along.

File under: The Object Of It All

–

  <647x649>

[ledbythreads]

The elephant in the room is, as it were, an elephant cock. Actual cock, gay gay gay cock. Presence artwork is about having to keep it, the big gay cock of it all, hid in the world of stereotypical normie family values.

OP you are so so close with ‘as in no language’ but no fucking cigar.

The cover art is all about what cannot be said but which is by now completely fucking obvious.

Achilles is about Jimmy and Robert going to Morocco. Morocco is about Jimmy and Robert being so into each other they follow the established gay gay gay orientalist dream of running away from the closet to north Africa - but then they bail, and slink back to the circus and the wheels come off in an actual near fatal crash.

The title is a typical Robert joke about the horrible awful aftermath.

Achilles means he can make a joke about his busted ankle AND TALK ABOUT GAY GAY GAY at the same time. Achilles is the gayest golden demigod with an odd dark haired male lover you can lay your hands on with only a passing knowledge of Greek myth. Achilles is not in the song at all. They are.

The whole album is unusually written just by those two. It sounds different because it is not leavened by John Paul Jones’ arrangements. It has 12 guitar overdubs because Jimmy was out of his mind with tragic love, anxiety that his baby (Zeppelin) might not walk again, and he was not sleeping for 3 days at a time while he recorded them.

I wonder why people rarely wonder why when the instruction to wonder why is slapped on the front back like a huge penis saying LOOK BIG OMINOUS SECRET please wonder why. Signature move.

[maurruce]

has this been done

[maurruce]

considering starting to call my cat G.

arguments for:

his name starts with a G

he is larger than most cats

he is somewhat of a bully

arguments against:

he does not manage a band (yet?)

[ledbythreads]

ooh yes!!

start him off as a wrestler

[xukies]

happy pride to the most bisexual old man in bisexual lighting to ever exist

[My commissions are open, check my pinned post for details!]

[oldpaintings]

Mermaids and Sea Nymphs by Eric Pape (American, 1870-1938)

[bowieography]

[soraismycat]

The gayest he’s ever looked

[another-little-hippie]

if i may…. bisexual jumpsuit, two belts and ballet flats

perhaps a close second to mullet, sparkle polo and tight leather pants

[snoopyoftheday]

snoopy of the day

[bad-love]

I just wanted to add this quote from the peppermint patty peanuts wiki page about Charles M. Schulz and his relationship with his gay cousin. The source here leads to a book that I did not read but the original source is Schulz's wife who confirmed this in an interview. If I can find the interview again I will link it here but uh. just in case someone tries to claim Schulz was a homophobe on this post again.

[sophsun1]

The Muppet Show (1976 – 1981)

[thegroovyarchives]

1975 Pittsburgh Paints Advertisement (via: eBay)

[cokesympathy]

JIMMY PAGE photographed by Gijsbert Hanekroot during a performance at Oude Rai in Amsterdam, May 27, 1972

[daytrippergilmour]

"Led Zeppelin exclusive interview" (Hit Parader, Fall 1986)

No band in rock history can ever hope to approach the sonic majesty attained by Led Zeppelin during their decade-long reign as kings of heavy metal. Together, Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, John Paul Jones and the late John Bonham were the ultimate rock machine - a band capable of churning out gut-wrenching anthems like Whole Lotta Love as easily as they produced eclectic masterpieces like Stairway To Heaven. Now, for the first time, one of the band’s members, bassist Jones, has stepped forward to shed some light on the mysterious, exciting and always bombastic unit, the might Zeppelin.

Hit Parader: It’s been six years since the end of Led Zeppelin. Looking back, have you begun to get some perspective on the important role the band played in rock history?

John Paul Jones: Not really. The only way I can do that is by hearing what those around me say. Sometimes I’m taken aback a little by the reverence shown the group. I’m not saying we weren’t a very special band, but I’ve never pictured us the way many fans today seem to see us - as some sort of patron saints of rock and roll.

HP: How did it feel at Live Aid to get back onstage with Plant and Page after such a long hiatus?

JPJ: Actually, it felt quite natural. When I looked around and saw the same faces as always, it seemed like it was the day after our last gig at Knebworth, not six years later. There was always a very strong feeling between all of us onstage, and that’s the sort of thing that doesn’t disappear.

HP: Of course, the question on everyone’s mind is if there will be more Zeppelin reunions in the future?

JPJ: We have thought about getting together every once in a while to do something special, and I’m sure if the proper occasion arose, we would do it. But it really hasn’t been formally discussed. After all, everyone is very involved in his own projects at the moment. Jimmy and Robert have successful solo careers, and I’m involved with writing contemporary classical music with computers. We don’t want to compromise what we’ve worked the last six years to create.

HP: But like that James Bond movie, you’ll Never Say Never Again when it comes to Led Zeppelin.

JPJ: That’s exactly it. But it would be a bit of a sham for us to hire another dummer, and set off on some Led Zeppelin’s Greatest Hits tour. That would be awful. If we were to do something together, it would have to be like Live Aid, where there was a special environment and a special reason to get together as Led Zeppelin.

HP: It seems like so many legendary bands from a decade ago - Deep Purple, ELP - have gotten back together again. What do you miss most about the Zeppelin days that might inspire you to get back together?

JPJ: I guess it would be the camaraderie between musicians. Sometimes I miss the opportunity to bounce new musical ideas off people I respect as musicians, even though working alone has its benefits. One thing I certainly don’t miss is touring for half the year or more. It’s incredibly time-consuming to be on the road. You may only play for two or three hours a night, but the rest of your time is taken up with traveling or waiting for the show to begin.

HP: Speaking of the road, was there a single highlight, and lowlight, you recall from the Zeppelin days?

JPJ: Well, there were so many highlights, it’s hard to pick one. But I do remember this one show we played - I don’t even remember where - when, at the very end of the set, after we had finished Stairway, people suddenly started lighting matches and holding them in the air. First there was one, then a couple and, before long, the whole arena was being lit up by matches held aloft. It sent chills up and down my spine.

HP: And a low point?

JPJ: Thankfully there weren’t many. There was one night in Pittsburgh, when all these fans dressed in hardhats literally stormed the stage minutes after we went on. I think they came to the arena to have a rumble - they didn’t care about the music at all. Another night I’d prefer to forget was in the Silverdome in Pontiac, Michigan. There we were, in front of 60,000 fans, and the barricades had been set up so far from the stage that we literally couldn’t even see the front row. I kept thinking to myself, “These poor people. They should have just stayed home and listened to the albums.”

HP: Recently, a book came out called Hammer Of The Gods which portrays Led Zeppelin as a rather depraved lot with sexual and drug debauchery going on constantly. How accurate is that representation of the band?

JPJ: That’s a very nasty little book. There are snippets of truth mixed in with a lot of other things. What emerges is a very cloudy and very somber view of what Led Zeppelin was like. The thing that bothered me most was that there was no humor in the book, and if there was anything that Led Zeppelin had plenty of, it was humor. We were having the time of our lives.

HP: Was there any friction between band members? With all the attention paid to Page and Plant, did you and Bonham get upset at times?

JPJ: Not really. I’m very content to play my role in the background. In fact, I prefer it that way. Perhaps the only time it bothered me was when I’d see photo essays done on the band and only two members were featured. I once asked a photographer why there weren’t any pictures of me, and he said it was because I never had any spotlights on me. That was one thing I did change. It wasn’t so much for my ego. I figured might as well see me onstage.

HP: You just released the soundtrack album for a movie called Scream For Help. Jimmy Page appears on it while Robert Plant does not. Was there a reason for that?

JPJ: A very simple one. Jimmy’s a brilliant guitarist who can make his style fit a variety of musical styles, which is what I needed. Robert’s voice is so distinctive that I didn’t have any songs he could work on. Maybe the next project I work on, I’ll write something specifically for Robert’s voice. We’ll have Jimmy play guitar, and we’ll have a go at it. That would be fun. (By Rick Evans)

[singemall-stayallnight]

Robert Plant and Jimmy Page in Tokyo, February 1996.

[another-little-hippie]

i’d like to point out that when Jimmy hugs Robert, his hands naturally go around his waist

[cokesympathy]

JIMMY PAGE performing at the Atlanta Stadium, May 4, 1973

[jerreeeeeee]

not every mutual fits neatly into an archetypal medievalism but there are some mutuals that im like yeah addressing you as “my liege” would come strangely naturally

[jerreeeeeee]

what mutual is prev

my liege lord

my loyal knight

my wise wizard

my evil advisor

my brother in arms

my lady muse

my wild mermaid friend

my fellow alchemist

my dashing rapscallion

my monstrous foe

Remaining time: 2 days 9 hours

[peanutscomics]

[ledbythreads]

reblog image description: Comic panels showing Woodstock working hard on his farm driving his tractor and forking up hay. Sitting on Snoopy's doghouse Snoopy chides Woodstock for looking exhausted. Woodstock cheeps !!!!!!!!!!!? in frustration. Snoopy follows Woodstock saying he doesn't mind helping out. Last pannel shows him stuck in a field in a big old red coat and straw hat saying "but I hate being the scarecrow". End image ID.

image descriptions: three edits showing Jimmy Page looking very thin and dishevelled, clothes hanging off his frame, holding up his very heavy double neck guitar, seemingly effortlessly. Each edited picture is Robert Plant at home on his farm with Jimmy edited in as the scarecrow. 1) Robert plays with a big white goat in a field with Jimmycrow in the background 2) Robert on a motorbike with his dog strider on his lap, Jimmycrow up the lane in the kitchen garden 3) Jimmycrow alone in a field planted up to his thighs - in original Robert and Maureen stand in the same place. end ID