Bloodied Hand(s)

They had never spoken about their families before. Listening to him talk, it felt like the ramblings of a dead man. She can’t let him die though, not here. No matter how selfish that might maker her right now.

“I’m not going to let you die, Erwin. I’m going to take care of you. I’m going to help you, somehow. I’ll figure it out, but neither of us dies on this island. I’ll light the fires by myself. I’ll drain your arm, and–” Cut it off if I have to…

She doesn’t want to tell him so bluntly, not when he’s in this state. The shock is coming to him. The reality of his situation… Their situation, that they can’t joke or take lightly anymore.

They could both die out here. She has no way of truly knowing whether she’s saving him or potentially killing him. It makes her feel sick to her stomach.

“You’re going to be ok, I’m going to make sure of. I’m going to save you…”

How? How is she going to save him? She has a knowledge of anatomy and a pocket knife! How can she save him?

“Erwin…”

She was telling him how he’d live. He knew she meant well, but how could he actually believe that? He listened absentmindedly to her promises, not truly believing them. But he didn’t refute it, either. Telling her how he was going to die and how she was wrong and useless wouldn’t help anything. He should just... Let her believe what she wanted.

She mumbled his name again, and he looked up with a strange sense of calmness, as if nothing were wrong at all. Then again, he’d always been known for how strange he was. He stared up at her, almost smiling. Almost. He still found it stupid and ironic, was all.

How silly his life had been until now.

Even if he did survive, what would happen? They’d still die on this island eventually, and his father-- Well. Maybe it was for the best to forget all of it. He breathed out, finally sitting up, his torso turning to face her.

“Come here, Hange.”

Nursed

“I know what he means,” Hange says, quickly. She understood most of what Levi said, and they had talked about bandages the night before. Her memory wasn’t that bad!

Her stomach twists and growls with hunger. She hadn’t eaten much the day before, she sighs. Still feeling exhausted, feeling the soreness in her feet and legs. She would have liked to hide out in this seedy motel for a day. She was used to constant movement, but this was different. This was emotional… Moblit was dead. Petra was most likely dead. Everyone she had talked to 36 hours before, besides Erwin, were probably dead or worse.

She takes the soda handed out to her, because it’s better than her empty stomach. Her nails tapping at the can, but not opening it. She looks up at the two men, wanting to get it all out at once.

“He needs clean bandages. The bleeding has mostly stopped, but we need to keep it clean and dry. He’ll be prone to infection with the amount of blood he’s lost. Walking around with a fresh stump and stitches in dirty clothing will increase the likely hood of infection. If we don’t want him to die we’ll need bandages. If you can’t find pain medication, even just aspirin, to take off the edge of the pain. Most amputees aren’t running for their life after having their arm cut off. It probably hurts.”

Sure, she could ask Erwin if it hurt. She’s unsure if he’d actually tell her the truth about it right now.

#theparadissmash #yeah idk if you remember she dressed into some casual clothing of levi's #but its like boxers n stuff

After Hange took the soda, Erwin did his best to open his own-- Though the can was immediately snatched from him by Levi, who quickly pulled it open and handed it back. As if he could do that with one damn hand. He wasn’t going to give him an option there.

Erwin continued to drink the soda regardless, his eyes on Hange. His arm throbbing as he just so much as thought about it. Infection-- Even Hange outright said it probably hurt, and at that note he could feel Levi’s eyes on him. But this wasn’t a time to try and garner pity. He shook his head to clear his thoughts.

“There’s a clothing store close to here. We’ll go there first. As soon as you’re dressed we can leave.” Levi glanced up at Erwin again. He could use a shower, though Levi kept his mouth shut, deciding to let Erwin do as he pleased. None of his clothes would fit Erwin anyway. It’d look more suspicious than his current clothing choices. And bothering him to shower would probably end nowhere considering how eager Erwin was to leave--that kind of complaint was best once they had some fucking clean bandages.

Wreckage

“I… I can drain the puss. Clean the wound thoroughly. Keep it wrapped with leaves. It just have to be big and cover the whole area. Need to keep it cleaner than we have been. The more open it is the more likely for bacteria to get in.Your immune system is already compromised. I’ll do my best Erwin, and I can’t make any promises. Without antibiotics of some sort… I… I’m going to try, but you’re not going to like it…”

It’s going to be painful for him. She feels guilty about it already, and she hasn’t started. He’s already so flushed with fever, and she worries that she might be taking action too late. It had started so small…

How did they get here?

Was there a moment where they actually believed this could end well for them? They were stuck on an island, forgotten. Levi, Petra, Moblit, and their other friends have probably already had funerals for them. Accepted their deaths…

Maybe?

“I’m going to start lighting the fires again.” It’s not a question. She wants there to be a slim chance to being rescued. They need it now. “I’m going to do everything I can, but I don’t know how bad the infection truly is. If you… Get worse, then… I’ll have to.”

She doesn’t want to, but she wants him to live. She makes a note to begin to gather supplies she might need. She’ll need something to sew him up, leaves big enough to protect the wound, to figure out a way to sterilize the pocket knife as much as she can, and hope that he doesn’t die.

He can’t die.

….Maybe she’s selfish….

She had things figured out. She may have tried to make Erwin feel like he had options, but it was clear it was all up to Hange. That’s how it had been for their entire relationship, anyway. He was used to it. He was no push-over, but Hange… Knew what she wanted. Knew what to do. She may have been nervous inside, but it was clear she always had a goal in mind.

He chuckled. In some ways, that made it better. Even if he felt without any real options, it was better having someone to call the shots about what would be done. Lighting fires… Would that even help? He wouldn’t say a word on that much, at least.

“I don’t know if I can go back to the beach, if that’s where you want to make fires. It’s a while to walk.” And he didn’t feel like he could do it. He felt light-headed just laying down as he was. How long would it be, anyway… Until he lost all thought? When would he stop being able to think straight at all?

He let out a sigh and shifted to lay on his back again. This kind of life-or-death situation… It wasn’t as if he wasn’t used to it. …Hn.

“Hange, maybe you can consider this the ramblings of a madman, but while you try to come up with a plan, do you want to listen to me for a moment? Not about anything relevant, mind you. Only something I’ve been thinking about a lot.” For as long as he could remember, even.

“What kind of parents did you have?”

He’s scaring her. He suddenly wants to talk about her parents. He says that he can’t make it back to the beach, though she didn’t expect him to. He has to be in a lot of pain by now. She’s given him a lot to take in.

“My parents were… My parents were kind and patient.” She doesn’t know know why he’s asking her this, but she can’t deny him this. Not when he could… She doesn’t want to think about it. She can give him this peace of mind, even if she didn’t understand where it was coming from.

“My mom was… Is a baker and a seamstress. My dad was a auto mechanic and a hunter. He passed away a few years ago. They disagreed a lot, but I remember my dad would always pull her into the biggest hugs after they fought… They loved each other so much. Even when they fought, even when they disagreed.

“My dad would take me hunting with him sometimes, and I was always more interested in watching the squirrels in trees. Or chasing frogs along the ponds and rivers. He was never angry with me about though.”

She doesn’t know if that’s the answer he wanted or not. She can feel some heat in her cheeks as she talks about it. They’ve never talked about such things before.

“Your parents sound like nice people,” he replied after she finished her description. He nodded. Staring up to the sky. Hn... “My mother’s a worried but nice woman. She would still always come by to do basic chores, make sure my house is clean, try to do my grocery shopping... I was her only child, so she was always worried about me. She didn’t have much else to do since she retired some years back. But even when I was younger she’d do her best to keep an eye on me at all times. She worked a couple of jobs to make ends meet... About since the time my dad died.”

He looked up at Hange, his brows slightly raised. “My dad was just a teacher. But he was into conspiracy theories. I guess I got that from him. I found a lot of the things he said fascinating. And plausible. He had one theory in particular about a criminal ring in the government that hosted a series of unexplained deaths and was tied to things like pedophilia rings, human trafficking, and so on... I thought it was fascinating enough that I convinced him to reach out to information leakers about it. You know, things like WorldLeaks... And then one day he got shot in the back of his head on his way back from work. The cops said it was a robbery and refused to investigate further, but nothing was stolen from him.”

He looked forward again, shrugging his shoulders.

“I’m rambling, but I just-- Think it’s fairly hilarious. I turned to the career track I did hoping to find out more and to find his theories true or not. I didn’t really expect... To die stupidly on a deserted island. It’s funny how life works out, isn’t it? I’ll likely die as pointlessly as my dad did.”

Cam-Girl

casusbellorum‌:

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nondolor-deactivated20201231

“You’re under arrest.” (Here's an idea, lmao. I can't send asks on my Erwin but just imagine I sent that on my Erwin/casusbellorum)

@casusbellorum | banter

was that some sort of joke? as if the shackles about thin wrists and being forced to kneel in literal shit wasn’t tip off enough. disgusting. they’d been so close to slipping out of their grasp, yet somehow the blond and his lackeys had gotten the upper hand.

“ no shit. ”

the words are spat out. venom clear and stinging. earning him a sudden twist of fingers in his hair, dirt gnawing at his flesh as his face is slammed against the ground beneath him. he’d kill them all the moment he got a chance.

there is a brief moment of regret at dropping his knife. he should have slit the blond’s throat when he’d had the opportunity. teeth grit as more pressure is put on his head, almost as though the man holding him could read his mind. he would get what was coming to him as well.

“ since when do you lot do their dirty work? ”

#nondolor #i know you just made that post about no regrets but i feel like it'd be boring just straight-up replaying that #so uh i just went with whatever #imagine whatever timeline you want here modern or no

He dug his knee into Levi’s back as he secured the cuffs, keeping them as tight as possible. Partially to stop the man from slipping out of them, partially to simply make a point. He could feel him squirming under him, all but spitting and hissing like an animal. Not that he could blame him. What would Erwin do, in that kind of situation? Maybe freeze in disbelief. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t very close to being in a similar situation, once upon a time.

“Since they decided they don’t like going down into the area known for murdering police,” Erwin replied, his hand still holding Levi’s shoulder down as he glanced around for the rest of his squad; he wasn’t about to give this man even the slightest option to move without at least a gun pointed at him to keep him from doing anything stupid.

“I’m doing a favor for a friend, you could say. Someone who’s been getting very frustrated with a certain criminal who’s seemingly been doing a lot of smuggling into his territory and causing more crime.”

Nursed

“I know, one of the nurses killed one of them. Just shot him in the head. I don’t even know where Petra could have learned something like that! It was so sudden, and she didn’t hesitate at all.” Thinking back to it is hard. Petra had always been so kind, and caring. Yet, she killed someone with little thought at all. Where did she learn it? She wasn’t that close to Petra, and she didn’t know much about the other woman’s past. Was she a hunter? Did she have a squeeze that taught her how to use a gun?

She wishes Petra was around to answer her questions. She probably dead, they probably shot her with the same gun she used against one of their fellow soldiers.

She sighs, because she doesn’t know what else to say. She’s afraid of closing her eyes. Being surrounded by gun fire. Afraid of seeing Moblit’s dead eyes in her mind. Nifa covered in blood. Petra being grabbed, clothes torn as men pulled at her. Helpless wounded men shot in their beds.

Rattled out of her thoughts by Erwin’s insistent snoring. She wonders why she didn’t notice in the night before. Looking over to Levi again, taking a deep breath. Feeling the exhaustion in her bones.

“I… I’m going to try and sleep…” She leans her head back against the wall, closing her eyes. Willing herself to just sleep and not worry about it.

Levi didn’t say another word to her once she finally agreed to sleep. He let her be and just sat, watching and listening for any issues, as he let the two rest. He wasn’t that tired anyway, and it’s not like he needed that much sleep. How often did he actually get enough sleep to not feel at least somewhat tired…? Had he ever…?

Well. At the very least, Erwin got enough sleep to feel refreshed. The man slept for hours, snoring the entire time and not moving an inch. Once he finally awoke, Levi glanced up at him. Gestured his head to Hange. It was better to keep quiet so they could both get proper rest, after all. It was no good if they were all exhausted. It’d just cause problems, the same message Levi all but shoved down Hange’s throat hours ago.

So the dingy motel room stayed silent still, aside from the sound of Erwin getting up and fishing through the barely-working minifridge for some sustenance while they waited for Hange to wake up, and Erwin to think of a proper plan. Levi wasn’t one for conversation, and discussions were best made with all parties present.

Her neck hurts when she wakes up. She feels worse than she did the day before. Her muscles seem to be screaming at her. Stretching her arms far above her head, sighing at the few pops from her back.

Opening her eyes, she jumps to standing. Two men in the room with her, it takes her a few seconds to catch up to where she is. Rubbing at her sore neck, sighing again.

She had hoped it was a dream, a terrible dream.

Her mouth feels dry as she looks at them. What could she say? She knows exactly what people are going to think when she leaves with the both of them. It would be a good cover though, wouldn’t it? Erwin had said to blend in, hadn’t he?

“Morning?” Her voice croaks when she speaks, and she licks her lips in response to it. “…What are we going to do now?”

#paradissmash #i mean shit lmao

Levi was the first to notice that she was awake, though he didn’t say anything; he simply kept a steady eye on her as she rubbed her neck and slowly came to. And once she asked her question, his head immediately turned to Erwin. Erwin, who just then turned around and raised his brows in surprise, a soda in his grasp.

“Ah, morning. Levi has money, so we’re going to buy proper clothing. You’re going to have to put on that other outfit once again.”

“I woulda gone on my own, but I don’t know if I trust this guy by himself with that arm. And-- Hell if I know what he needs.”

“... He needed your input for medical supplies.” The look in Erwin’s eyes made it clear that he was all too used to Levi’s way of putting things, and having to translate for the less initiated. Though he had no way of knowing how much they had talked while Erwin was passed out. She was more than likely well aware, but still.

He turned to grab another soda from the fridge and closed it, walking across the room to hand one to her. “Here, we’ll figure out food as well.”

Wreckage

“I… I can drain the puss. Clean the wound thoroughly. Keep it wrapped with leaves. It just have to be big and cover the whole area. Need to keep it cleaner than we have been. The more open it is the more likely for bacteria to get in.Your immune system is already compromised. I’ll do my best Erwin, and I can’t make any promises. Without antibiotics of some sort… I… I’m going to try, but you’re not going to like it…”

It’s going to be painful for him. She feels guilty about it already, and she hasn’t started. He’s already so flushed with fever, and she worries that she might be taking action too late. It had started so small…

How did they get here?

Was there a moment where they actually believed this could end well for them? They were stuck on an island, forgotten. Levi, Petra, Moblit, and their other friends have probably already had funerals for them. Accepted their deaths…

Maybe?

“I’m going to start lighting the fires again.” It’s not a question. She wants there to be a slim chance to being rescued. They need it now. “I’m going to do everything I can, but I don’t know how bad the infection truly is. If you… Get worse, then… I’ll have to.”

She doesn’t want to, but she wants him to live. She makes a note to begin to gather supplies she might need. She’ll need something to sew him up, leaves big enough to protect the wound, to figure out a way to sterilize the pocket knife as much as she can, and hope that he doesn’t die.

He can’t die.

….Maybe she’s selfish….

She had things figured out. She may have tried to make Erwin feel like he had options, but it was clear it was all up to Hange. That’s how it had been for their entire relationship, anyway. He was used to it. He was no push-over, but Hange... Knew what she wanted. Knew what to do. She may have been nervous inside, but it was clear she always had a goal in mind.

He chuckled. In some ways, that made it better. Even if he felt without any real options, it was better having someone to call the shots about what would be done. Lighting fires... Would that even help? He wouldn’t say a word on that much, at least.

“I don’t know if I can go back to the beach, if that’s where you want to make fires. It’s a while to walk.” And he didn’t feel like he could do it. He felt light-headed just laying down as he was. How long would it be, anyway... Until he lost all thought? When would he stop being able to think straight at all?

He let out a sigh and shifted to lay on his back again. This kind of life-or-death situation... It wasn’t as if he wasn’t used to it. ...Hn.

“Hange, maybe you can consider this the ramblings of a madman, but while you try to come up with a plan, do you want to listen to me for a moment? Not about anything relevant, mind you. Only something I’ve been thinking about a lot.” For as long as he could remember, even.

“What kind of parents did you have?”

#i started thinking more about a cop au and i couldnt stop #but then cowboys...#nondolor

nondolor replied to your post “Are you threatening me?”

i'm laughing at the thought of levi hog tied XD

the entire time i was thinkin of this piece of fanart sfdkg

#nondolor #ooc

“Are you threatening me?”

“It depends on if you’re going to be difficult about this.” He was hog-tied and laying in the dirt like a dog. One would think that such a position would make someone more... Agreeable. But no. He started down at the shorter man, and knelt down in the grass to get a better look at him. He gripped the tie near his hands to tug him to the side to get a better look at his face, staring him down.

“If you show me where you put the money you stole, you won’t have to worry about that ‘threat.’“ He wasn’t about to get more criminal low-lifes running around his town in search of this one’s prize. He had enough trouble running the jail as it was. He only had so many damn cells.

Cam-Girl

casusbellorum‌:

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His pace slowed, and she opened her eyes, wondering if maybe she crossed a line. But she felt his lips by her ear, his breath tickling her skin as he spoke.

She felt a ripple in the pit of her stomach, her cunt clenching against the pink vibrator at the sound of his voice, at the sound of him calling himself daddy.

“Please,” she gasped, one of her hands moving to sit atop his much larger one, fingers grasping on as she urged him to push the vibrator deeper, harder, faster into her.

“Daddy, please, I want it so bad. I need it so bad,” she begged him.

#the-bark-is-worse #im gonna keep using readmores so people dont know youre on mobile so you look bad

cursedxdolls-deactivated2015011

Put one of these in my askbox to see how my Muse reacts.

lokatattur

“My parents know.”

“Don’t go.”

“You’re under arrest.”

“Just let me die.”

“I’m pregnant and it’s yours.”

“Make me.”

“Kiss me you idiot.”

“I didn’t do it.”

“That isn’t mine.”

“Marry me?”

“Truth hurts, don’t it?”

“Be mine.”

“You owe me.”

“Just relax.”

“I already regret this.”

“Where are my clothes?”

“You could have killed someone!”

“I think I broke it.”

“Do you love me?”

“We need to talk.”

“Never again.”

“Do I know you?”

“How drunk are you right now?”

“Well that was unexpected.”

“Have you ever even done this before?”

“I just want to cuddle.”

“I can’t even look at you.”

“What happened to you?”

“Don’t you dare.”

“I missed you.”

“This stays between us.”

“I need a hug.”

“I could kill you!”

“Kiss me.”

“You’re so weird.”

“Why are you wearing that?”

“You coward.”

“You’re all out of ____.”

“You. Come. Snuggle. NOW!”

“I think I’m forgetting something.”

“This seems familiar.”

“You lied to me!”

“Are you threatening me?”

“Is that my shirt?”

“Where did you find this?”

“Explain yourself.”

“Where were you?”

“You drive me crazy!”

“I think I’m falling in love with you. ”

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Just leave me alone.”

“I need a drink.”

“What were you thinking?”

“I dare you.” or “I dare you to _____.”

“I’m going to be sick.”

“For you, I would _____”

“Just what did we do last night?”

“Give it back.”

“I have to go.”

“Shut up and listen.”

“Do you remember this?”

“Want to hear a secret?”

“Take responsibility.”

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Give me another chance.”

“Don’t you dare come near me!”

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“You mean everything to me.”

“Why yes, I am as think as you drunk I am.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“I miss you so very much.”

“No, that can’t be my baby.”

“Just five more minutes.”

“No! You can’t die on me now!”

“That’s the cheesiest pickup line I’ve ever heard.”

“Put. The. Weapon. Down.”

“What are we doing here?”

“Do you trust me?”

“That sounds painful.”

“Are you even listening to yourself?”

“I’m not speaking to you anymore.”

“I can’t believe you missed that.”

“That was a bad plan.”

“That looked easier on TV.”

“I’ve never heard that one before.”

“I didn’t know you could do that.”

Cam-Girl

casusbellorum‌:

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Cam-Girl

@the-bark-is-worse

#thebarkisworse

memeasaurus-promptus

Send me something to drabble about

A single word, a memory, a piece of the past that you’d like to see in greater detail, a scene between two muses. Let me write and worldbuild, pry into my character’s inner workings.

Wreckage

“Erwin, I wouldn’t be…” No, she can’t get angry at him. She knows what she’s telling him, and he’s a smart man. He understands their situation. He knows, just as much as she does. It has to be harder on him than it is for her. He’s the one losing parts of him. He’s the one that would have to endure the pain.

Would he be able to?

Would he even survive the blood loss?

The shock?

“I… I don’t think there is. Not without help. I mean, I would prefer not too. All I have is a pocket knife… I… I’d have to find some ways to stitch you back up, and I… I need some time. We both need some time, but I don’t want you to die. There’s no telling for sure how fast the infection is spreading. We have no antibiotics. No honey or garlic or herbal means of taking care of it.” She feels like she’s rambling, and she shouldn’t be.

“…But, this is your decision. I’m…” Talk like a doctor. Talk like a doctor. He’s not your boyfriend, don’t think like that. Not right now. “I’m recommending amputation, but I’m going to follow your wants. We could…” What was there that wouldn’t cause him pain?

His face stayed still the more she talked, no matter how much more disgusted Erwin became. A pocket knife. No antibiotics. No way to stitch him up. She had to think, but the infection was ever-spreading. He felt a lump in his throat, though somehow it’d become so natural for him to just keep staring ahead. Keep going. Maybe Hange was the same way. He noticed the moment her tone changed to a ‘doctor’ voice. She was managing it in her own way, too.

She offered options, but she trailed off before they even began. She couldn’t think of anything, could she? He either had his arm chopped off, or he waited for death.

It was kind of funny, wasn’t it? The straight face broke, a slight smile cracking as he kept his view straight on ahead, past the wildlife swimming so carelessly in the lake. Going so far in his life, trying so hard to follow in his father’s footsteps, to creep along and to worry about ending up on the chopping block for becoming too ‘curious,’ and then... He dies just because he gets an infection from a scratch on his elbow after washing up on an island.

How ridiculous. How was he even supposed to react? He didn’t want to die, not this way at the very least. Where he’d be a forgotten mystery. But what other option even was there?

“Could what?” He took a second to wipe the smile off his face before turning his body to stare up at her. Of course he knew there wasn’t much else to go on. But why not pressure her? “If it’s my decision, I’d like to hear whatever other option you can think of.”

Nursed

“I know, one of the nurses killed one of them. Just shot him in the head. I don’t even know where Petra could have learned something like that! It was so sudden, and she didn’t hesitate at all.” Thinking back to it is hard. Petra had always been so kind, and caring. Yet, she killed someone with little thought at all. Where did she learn it? She wasn’t that close to Petra, and she didn’t know much about the other woman’s past. Was she a hunter? Did she have a squeeze that taught her how to use a gun?

She wishes Petra was around to answer her questions. She probably dead, they probably shot her with the same gun she used against one of their fellow soldiers.

She sighs, because she doesn’t know what else to say. She’s afraid of closing her eyes. Being surrounded by gun fire. Afraid of seeing Moblit’s dead eyes in her mind. Nifa covered in blood. Petra being grabbed, clothes torn as men pulled at her. Helpless wounded men shot in their beds.

Rattled out of her thoughts by Erwin’s insistent snoring. She wonders why she didn’t notice in the night before. Looking over to Levi again, taking a deep breath. Feeling the exhaustion in her bones.

“I… I’m going to try and sleep…” She leans her head back against the wall, closing her eyes. Willing herself to just sleep and not worry about it.