Is your OC ever wrong? Big Ways? Small Ways? [adrian pls 🥺]
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Is he ever wrong?
YES. absolutely he is wrong and he's really terrible with dealing with it for a long time. he's wrong about his dad's suicide, about assuming christian didn't think about the impact his death would have on his children, or that he didn't care. he's wrong as a kid/teenager when he thinks his mom doesn't care what he does with his life or where he goes. he's wrong, initially, in thinking that he can handle looking after his sisters alone those first couple of years, he's wrong when he first decides age 19 that college isn't worth it, in an attempt to deal with losing his first chance. he's wrong about seth when he meets him at first.
adrian's issue isn't necessarily that he doesn't handle being wrong about things well, he's failed enough math tests in his life to know that he gets shit wrong all the time. his favourite part of engineering is learning how to fix problems and work through mistakes. what he CAN'T deal well with is being wrong when there's not a good way to be right. he doesn't thrive in the grey area.
he could've gone to college when he was 18, but it would've meant leaving his sisters to live with his grandparents, and rayne especially was too young to really understand everything that happened, and the right option would have been knowing that their grandparents would have been the better option for the girls. but all three of them had just had their lives torn apart in the span of about a month, and all they wanted was to stay together. so adrian went to court and fought for custody so they could live in their house and go to their school, and the girls could have some shred of normalcy in their lives. it didn't always work, it wasn't always okay and nowhere near perfect. but they had each other
this kind of comes back once again to my post about adrian + seth's passive suicidality in a sense, like adrian tends to take the information he knows already to make assumptions about other circumstances, and sometimes struggles to change his perspective on things? specifically when the situation is social/emotional, something less tangible than a machine (which he's a lot better with in general)
like he assumes his dad's reason for killing himself and not leaving a note or anything really behind, was purely selfish, and he kind of starts to resent him for it. and then when he meets seth, finds out that seth did attempt suicide a couple times, and the more he knows about him the more he starts to empathise, you know? like he starts to accept that while he'll never understand exactly why his dad did it, it's not always a selfish action and his dad really just needed more help than he was ever able to get. so that's a case in which he struggles with being wrong and with changing his perspective in response to new information (i explained it better in the linked post)
oh he's also wrong in like. thinking he's an ordinary guy or that close relationships with other people can't really happen for him. my genius guy who is also kind of a dumbass
adrian tags @kevindavidday @absolutely-existing @falafels @catalinaday @you-know-i-get-itt @stardoused @captain-sunshine-11 @the-13th-omniscient @aftgphoenix @sehruncreative @tessasilverswan @belshouseofdreams @codename-adler @arsonistblue @aryrosealynn lmk if you wanna be added/removed
Inspired by Katelyn on my tomodachi life suddenly hating everyone after having a kid:
Katelyn who never wanted to be a mother.
The girls are an accident, and not a happy one either. The kind that has Aaron saying he knew he should have gotten a vasectomy and Katelyn blaming herself for not letting him just in case. Because she always thought "maybe later, when we're older," but it's happening now instead. Which is fine: there's a solution to that problem.
Except she can't.
She can't go through with it. She doesn't want this pregnancy, not right now, and honestly with the panic and stress this is causing her maybe not ever, but she can't force herself to abort it. They caught it early and she still has time left to work herself up to it, but she knows. She's having this kid even though she doesn't want it. Something is telling her she has to and that she'll never have another chance. It's not Aaron, because he's the one trying to help her make the choice she thought she'd make. It's not her family, who despite always asking when she'll have kids are suddenly far less excited when she announces her pregnancy like she's announcing she has terminal cancer. Just... something. Something she can't ignore. It's a terrible idea to keep it; she doesn't want it, but it's one kid, and they both have family who will help. It won't ruin her career. Maybe it won't be so bad.
And then it's twins.
Two girls. It's supposed to be a miracle, but it might be a death sentence. She was never meant to have kids, it seems, because her body is reacting terribly to the pregnancy and there's a high likelihood that someone isn't surviving, be it her or one of the girls or both. The doctors say the risk is high enough that they can still terminate it, but again, she refuses. Aaron threatens to quit his job just to follow her around and dote on her 24/7, and the thought makes her so sick she moves in with her sister for a couple weeks.
Aaron finally gets that vasectomy. He doesn't tell her until it's done.
She keeps working as long as she can, but she has to give up before she's even hit six months. The rest of the pregnancy passes slower than she could have ever imagined. Pain and worry and sitting there doing nothing because these two little parasites are sapping her life out of her. She hates them, and they're not even alive yet.
Aaron, once, brings up the idea of putting the girls up for adoption. He's green as he says it, and she isn't imagining the relief in his eyes as she shuts him down.
Then they're born. She did it, she survived and so did they. It was a close call. The girls were rushed to the NICU and Aaron held Katelyn's hand so tight she thought she would lose it as doctors rushed into her room because she wouldn't stop bleeding. But they all lived. Her, and Josephine and Michaela - Aaron named them, because Katelyn didn't care enough to.
Still, the worst is over, or so she thinks.
Everything gets worse.
It almost gets better, just a little, when she's able to go home but the girls aren't. She focuses on recovering her body. That's the easy part. Her parents move in to help out, because Aaron is still working. She's not sure her mental state will ever recover; the therapist she was forced to start seeing months ago assures her that it will. Eventually.
She refuses meds outright.
Aaron visits the girls every chance he gets, which isn't as much as he would like. He was enamored the moment they were born. Wasn't that supposed to happen to Katelyn? Weren't the endorphins supposed to have her suddenly so happy to be a mother? She doesn't want them to come home. She wants Aaron to be as indifferent as she is. He focuses on her more than anything else, but she can see it, that longing to have his daughters with him. The longing to bring Katelyn with him when he goes and visits them. She just wants to pretend they don't exist a little while longer.
All too soon, there are babies in her house.
Katelyn's parents and Aaron do most of the work, because Katelyn refuses to touch the girls. She's miserable; they cry and then she cries and why the hell did she do this to herself? Katelyn's sister comes over to help more and more often, and even her brother comes once (he's not much help at all, but it's the thought that counts). Aaron's family doesn't come. His cousin is on the other side of the planet and Katelyn banned his brother from the house the day they got the keys.
She only lasts a week before she books herself a hotel room. No one is allowed to visit her; she won't even tell them what hotel she's at. The only one who knows is that fucking therapist who she still calls just because if she gets even worse, someone might take the girls away from Aaron. As much as she hates them, she could never do that to him.
It's her own fault they exist, anyway. She might as well let him keep them.
Finally, Katelyn starts feeling better. She needed to be alone, she needed the quiet. She's not in pain anymore, mostly, and she's sleeping well for the first time in who knows how long. More than anything, though, she's restless. She misses her job, having a purpose. She wants her life back. The thought of going home paralyzes her, but she knows she needs to. Eventually.
She's at the hotel for over a month in the end. But she mostly feels like a person again, and her rational thought has returned. She can't get her old life back. She made the choice to go through with this, and now she needs to accept it: she has daughters, and she's failing them. She's failing Aaron. It's a wonder he isn't falling apart with memories of his own shitty mother with Katelyn acting like this. Maybe he is. She wouldn't know; she's not home to see it.
Her therapist warns her that this resolve may not last when she gets home. She knows. She has to try anyway.
Except when she gets home, no one is there. A call to her mother tells her that the girls are supposed to be with Aaron, but he's not here.
Katelyn has an idea where he is.
The drive is close to an hour, one long hour for her to think real hard about what she's done, and what she's going to do. Aaron deserves better than this. The girls she's still not sure she cares about, but Aaron doesn't deserve a family as broken as the one he grew up in. Maybe Katelyn was never meant to be a mother, but she owes it to him to try. She's never going to be as close to normal as she can until she tries.
Knocking takes her a few attempts. Neil opens the door, and when he sees her his eyes narrow. Is it Aaron he's suddenly so protective of, or his nieces? She's not sure it matters. Regardless, he lets her in, but holds a finger to his lips as he leads her into the bedroom.
The girls are lying asleep in their cribs - she doesn't know when these two even bought cribs - and Aaron is sobbing quietly in his brother's arms. Andrew spots Katelyn immediately, and the look he gives her is so disgusted she's thrown right back to PSU, being threatened against a bookshelf. He makes no move to attack her, though. He makes no move at all, unwilling to disturb Aaron. She's pretty sure he wants her to leave, but she came here for a reason. He didn't stop her before, and he won't stop her now.
She leaves Aaron to his brother and walks over to the cribs. She doesn't know which is which - the girls are identical, blonde like their dad and freckled like Katelyn, but she doesn't know if their eyes are hazel or green. They're bigger than when she last saw them, of course, and look more like humans than weird alien creatures. They're cute. She still doesn't feel much of a motherly pull, but maybe that will come with time. Maybe it won't.
Andrew and Neil are watching her like hawks. She can't blame them. She makes the wise choice to not attempt to touch the girls and instead moves to stand as close to Aaron as she feels safe doing, which is far enough to be out of Andrew's reach. She doesn't know what to say now. She doesn't know how to apologize.
It's Neil who finally breaks the silence, clearing his throat with a pointed glare. Aaron twists around in confusion, and when he sees Katelyn he can't seem to decide between hope and fear. Maybe he thinks she's come to divorce him like she vaguely remembers threatening during a breakdown. Maybe he's the one who wants to divorce now. Maybe she's too late. Maybe she can't fix anything.
Andrew is visibly reluctant to let go, but Aaron stumbles out of his brother's arms and into Katelyn's, and she nearly collapses in relief. Somehow she's going to fix this. Even if she never loves those girls, she's going to fix this.
Thinking about that time in TKM when Neil punched Aaron and “Aaron took a couple of bored steps out of Neil’s reach and calmly checked the corner of his mouth with his thumb.”
Being bored is not 🚫 a normal human response to being hit. Aaron didn’t even flinch, and I think that shows how traumatized he is because of Tilda that being struck doesn’t even phase him anymore.
It also seems like he does the same trick Neil does where he looks at a person’s arms to judge the safe distance away from them, and I think it’s so sad that they both had to learn how to do that.
thinking about miranda steele. how that name came from the last fake ID she had on her when she wound up in south carolina, and so she vowed to make it work for as long as possible. how she only ever felt like herself when she was alone and working on something, or in those early days when she and christian used to sit on the hood of his car and talk about anything. how she felt when she realised he was actually listening. how she fixed that same car for him a few weeks later and he called her a miracle; how she gave a screwdriver to her son for his birthday and he loved it and her mother in law called her a bad influence. how she spent so much of her life running as far away from who she was as possible, until she finally caught her breath and realised the fire she started to hide her past had spread to every fragment of a life she'd tried so hard to keep hold of. miranda steele waking up in a king size bed next to a man who deserves to be loved, but not by her, driving her three children to school and wondering if she could ever just keep going. disappear one more time, run one more time. but the callouses on her hands start to disappear after years of staying home as a good wife, a good mother. she thinks about getting the hammer from the garage and smashing the liquor cabinet to pieces while christian is away. she thinks about setting fire to the house she stays at home in. she cleans the kitchen again. she thinks about the last house she grew up in, the girls who raised her like a sister, the ones she had to run away from again in the end. how do you spend so long trying to build your own life only to succumb to someone else's in the end. she wore her wedding ring on a chain around her neck so she wouldn't lose it at work. her daughters used to fall asleep with their heads on her shoulders while she read to them. her son brought her flowers in the hospital when she was pregnant again. christian still called her andi. thinking about miranda steele's past catching up to her, arrested outside her own home as her son has to hold back her youngest daughter from running to her. her eldest daughter is crying. she can't remember the last time she cried. thinking about her finding out about christian's death a few weeks after her sentencing, being told that his parents hadn't agreed to her temporary release to attend the funeral. tracing lines on the concrete wall beside her wondering how she'd managed to burn it all down anyway.
dan wilds and kevin day becoming siblings. tentative teasing from kevin when dan gushes about a date she has with matt, an encouraging pep talk only siblings know how to give when kevin has to move for the pros (being alone for the first time in years), dinner plans with them and wymack (+ abby sometimes).
dan apologizing for the way she acted when she found out kevin was wymack’s son & that he had kept it from wymack for all the time he was with the foxes. kevin not apologizing for any of his behavior because he’s kevin, but showing regret by talking about all the times he wanted to tell wymack.
what if u went into hysterics while on the clock & keep doing ur job while actively sobbing & someone asks you if you’re okay so you start sobbing even harder & u just feel like shit
this jean moreau suicide attempt one shot is speaking to me in ways no one has ever spoken to me before, like HELLO??? i knew i wasnt doing okay but this is insane
turnnoffyourmind
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kianamaiart
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