help! i am trapped in a kafkaesque catboy containment cell #37! the only way for me to make my escape is for you to reply ":3"! please time is running out!
i have breached containment and now i am everyone's problem >:3c

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@catboyintern
help! i am trapped in a kafkaesque catboy containment cell #37! the only way for me to make my escape is for you to reply ":3"! please time is running out!
i have breached containment and now i am everyone's problem >:3c
petition to replace the word ‘now’ with ‘meow’
So what are you up to?
I’ve been under my boss’s desks getting pets. Which would be fine but I’m also not allowed to take much agency for myself, since I’m just a cat to her.
Does Hyperion allow employees to have pets of the organic kind? (Cats, dogs, fish, etc). Or can they only have synthetic pets? (Robot dogs, loader bots, the totally decommissioned claptrap units, etc).
Asking for a friend 👀
Hyperion is not concerned with what you do in your free time. However, if you decide to keep fellow employees and/or test subjects and/or essential infrastructure as a pet, we advise against letting it infere with work hours.
That is the: Hyperion Mindset! 😃
Very purrposely taking out the part where my supervisor is simply treating me as a pet and indeed letting it interfere with work hours.
Would you like to: Have their existence discontinued? 😃
No :3
Would you like to: Participate in a six weeks confidence building seminar about the strategies and benefits of discontinuing your co-workers' and superiors' existences?
Definitely not ^w^
Would you like to: Have your Employee ID added to an anonymous pool, to be matched with any other employees seeking the same individual's demise so that you can instrument their downfall together?
Wait, that one sounds actually good. Its completely, fully, 100% anonymous and untraceable?
Here at Hyperion, we pride ourselves on having the most professional, sophisticated, and discrete co-worker assassination infrastructure in all six galaxies! 😃
But if you’re telling me about it how discrete really is it?
With workplace violence is at a [2 months] high! 🫨
Learn to recognise and avoid plots against your success and well-being with Hyperion's Confidence Building seminars for upper lower upper and lower lower upper and lower upper lower management! 😃
[$899,00 per month]
Does Hyperion allow employees to have pets of the organic kind? (Cats, dogs, fish, etc). Or can they only have synthetic pets? (Robot dogs, loader bots, the totally decommissioned claptrap units, etc).
Asking for a friend 👀
Hyperion is not concerned with what you do in your free time. However, if you decide to keep fellow employees and/or test subjects and/or essential infrastructure as a pet, we advise against letting it infere with work hours.
That is the: Hyperion Mindset! 😃
Very purrposely taking out the part where my supervisor is simply treating me as a pet and indeed letting it interfere with work hours.
Would you like to: Have their existence discontinued? 😃
No :3
Would you like to: Participate in a six weeks confidence building seminar about the strategies and benefits of discontinuing your co-workers' and superiors' existences?
Definitely not ^w^
Would you like to: Have your Employee ID added to an anonymous pool, to be matched with any other employees seeking the same individual's demise so that you can instrument their downfall together?
Wait, that one sounds actually good. Its completely, fully, 100% anonymous and untraceable?
Does Hyperion allow employees to have pets of the organic kind? (Cats, dogs, fish, etc). Or can they only have synthetic pets? (Robot dogs, loader bots, the totally decommissioned claptrap units, etc).
Asking for a friend 👀
Hyperion is not concerned with what you do in your free time. However, if you decide to keep fellow employees and/or test subjects and/or essential infrastructure as a pet, we advise against letting it infere with work hours.
That is the: Hyperion Mindset! 😃
Very purrposely taking out the part where my supervisor is simply treating me as a pet and indeed letting it interfere with work hours.
Would you like to: Have their existence discontinued? 😃
No :3
Would you like to: Participate in a six weeks confidence building seminar about the strategies and benefits of discontinuing your co-workers' and superiors' existences?
Definitely not ^w^
Does Hyperion allow employees to have pets of the organic kind? (Cats, dogs, fish, etc). Or can they only have synthetic pets? (Robot dogs, loader bots, the totally decommissioned claptrap units, etc).
Asking for a friend 👀
Hyperion is not concerned with what you do in your free time. However, if you decide to keep fellow employees and/or test subjects and/or essential infrastructure as a pet, we advise against letting it infere with work hours.
That is the: Hyperion Mindset! 😃
Very purrposely taking out the part where my supervisor is simply treating me as a pet and indeed letting it interfere with work hours.
Would you like to: Have their existence discontinued? 😃
No :3
Does Hyperion allow employees to have pets of the organic kind? (Cats, dogs, fish, etc). Or can they only have synthetic pets? (Robot dogs, loader bots, the totally decommissioned claptrap units, etc).
Asking for a friend 👀
Hyperion is not concerned with what you do in your free time. However, if you decide to keep fellow employees and/or test subjects and/or essential infrastructure as a pet, we advise against letting it infere with work hours.
That is the: Hyperion Mindset! 😃
Very purrposely taking out the part where my supervisor is simply treating me as a pet and indeed letting it interfere with work hours.
Does Hyperion allow employees to have pets of the organic kind? (Cats, dogs, fish, etc). Or can they only have synthetic pets? (Robot dogs, loader bots, the totally decommissioned claptrap units, etc).
Asking for a friend 👀
Hyperion is not concerned with what you do in your free time. However, if you decide to keep fellow employees and/or test subjects and/or essential infrastructure as a pet, we advise against letting it infere with work hours.
$5 dollar dollar sloppy!!!!!
SLOPPY JOE
SLOPPY JOE
SLOPPY JOE
DELETE POST DELETE POST
the employee responsible for this mishap has been taken out back and old yellered. thanks!
@officialhyperion
"amab or afab" im alab experiment that went wrong
that’s it, specimen! your ass is going back in the enclosure!! AND i’m taking away your enrichment!!!
ooomg do you remember me we were created in the same unethical lab! yeah i was like 2 green tubes down from you! i knew you looked familiar
I recently started a new job, and there was a catboy in the IT department,, i didn’t know catboys worked?
i thought we they were too cute to work in a job
hello!! catboys are capable of working just as hard as humans!! while many commercially available catfolk are intentionally bred and chipped to lower their intelligence, privately bred or independent catboys aren't inhibited and are usually very smart! in addition to their natural agility and problem solving skills, many catfolk taking a liking to computers due to playing games on their owner's tablets or phones.
things arent looking good, boys