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Sweet Seals For You, Always

Product Placement
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@catedevalois
I love Jeff. He takes no prisoners.
gatekeep, gaslight, girlboss
Howdy, folks! Today we will be heading down south to the Atlanta suburbs to view what may be the most yassified house in existence.(The quality of the photos is proportional to the quality of the estate, my apologies.) Also, special thanks to my friend Kristjan who contributed to finding the house and also some of the captions (fondue machine all was him.)
Built smack dab in the Pimp My Ride era (2007) it's got 8 bedrooms and 8.5 bathrooms, totaling a completely reasonable and not at all absurd 17,500 square feet. $7,750,000, it's up there as one of the more expensive houses on the blog in its six (6!!) years. (Happy Birthday McMansion Hell!)
Without further ado:
Lawyer Foyer
I know what you're thinking but we keep it PG with the chair jokes here.
Office
Great Depression humor is back, baby. It's recession time.
Dining Room
If this house got any more into metallic surfaces there'd be lead in the water.
Great Room
Whole house smells like $14 body spray called something like "tempting pink."
kitchen
"Braighlynne if you get one drop of apple juice on this rug mommy is going to need a valium."
Bedroom
Are we finally done with mirrored furniture???? Are we?????? (Also the SIA-line is a Kristjan one.)
bonus:
room
(this is a top-10 joke for me. i am patting myself on the back.)
And finally, we exit our tour:
Usually the rear exterior is less unhinged than the front, but not so this time!
Anyway that does it for this edition of McMansion Hell. Hope you enjoyed, and from sunny Ljubljana, see you next time!
If you liked this post, consider subscribing to the Patreon, where you will get access to livestreams, bonus posts, and the best lil discord community on the whole dang internet
Not into recurring payments? Tip me – because inflation is ruining my entire life.
OMG - Harry Potter…
I can’t breathe
everything's bigger in texas
Howdy folks! Pardon my July hiatus, as I was uhhhh covering the Tour de France. Anyway, before I get started, I'm back now and have some good news, which is that the McMansion Hell Patreon tiers have been updated -- it's never been such a good time to support McMansion Hell.
For $1/month you can get access to the Good House posts (McMansion Eyebleach) and the wonderful McMansion Hell Discord, a great, friendly community which is where many houses on here now come from. $3/month tiers will now receive an entire bonus MMH post in addition to the Good House posts that follow every edition of MMH. $5/month tiers still get a monthly house roasting livestream complete with bingo. $10/month tiers now get a bonus livestream that's much more intimate and also includes voice chat participation. All in all, it's more of what you want from McMansion Hell. Tiers above $10/month get a selection of exclusive merch along with other benefits.
Ok, awkward marketing moment over. Let's get down to business. Big business.
We're back in Denton County, Texas, one of the ground zeros of McMansion Hell, with a "Greek Revival" house built in 1989 but remodeled in the early aughts. Sitting at $2.5million (that's a lot of oil money) and 6500 square feet, it's just another example of how everything's bigger in Texas. Let's continue.
Lawyer Foyer
Whomst remembers swag? Absolutely dated bit of millennial slang now. Also get used to weird stairs because nothing in this home seems to be on the same level.
??? Room
I guess this is an office? It's mostly a collection of things just for the sake of things. Peak McMansion.
Living Room
My mom did the red/green thing in her bathroom back in the day so I'm weirdly nostalgic for it. Still it was real. A lot of talk on HGTV at the time about mixing opposing colors (warm/cool) and pops of color (which were kind of missed in the greige era though they are coming back.)
Kitchen
The kitchen was probably renovated later than the rest of the house (I date it around 2009 or so - mismatched islands were kind of a thing then.) Still, no one really knows what to do with that much space and the result is almost always not very economical.
Speaking of...
Bedroom
If you don't have a stuff corner in your bedroom are you even wealthy?
Bathroom
See the white carpet thing is only a problem when people actually use the tub which they almost never do.
bonus room
What's the point of having all them trinkets if yer not pondering em???
Well that's all for this edition folk--- wait. wait.
What?
Bonus house-cels coping and seething at pool-chads.
Anyway, let's look at the back of this thing:
The Dyingest Lawn In Texas is a free album name for anyone who wants it. (Did I mention I was born in Texas yet? That's a fun fact.)
Anyway, that does it for this edition of McMansion Hell. See y'all soon.
If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including extra posts and livestreams.
Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar, because inflation is ruining my life and coffee is like $4/cup now.
I AM DYING! the kitchen comments!!!
Still, hands down, the best blog ever
hey so the Democrats are in charge at this very moment. They could enshrine abortion rights in the constitution at this very moment. Why would they wait until after midterms to do something, and if they aren't gonna wait until after midterms, wtf does this have to do with midterms?
The only way to "enshrine it in the constitution" would be to make it an amendment. This requires a 2/3 vote from both the House and the Senate.
Which... wouldn't pass.
I know this is shocking. But "being in charge" doesn't actually mean unlimited power.
This post mentions the midterms because it 1. Could give us a super majority needed for this kind of amendment and 2. Would affect STATE governments which could safeguard abortion on a state level.
Vote these midterms. It has never been more critical to stop this shit. Those playing the long con game have been waiting for this most of all. The more freedoms they remove from us the stronger they get. Stop the backwards slide to remove rights from everyone but the rich white male.
Vote these midterms. If Republicans win any more seats in The House or The Senate, they’re going to use the opportunity to enshrine THEIR beliefs as much as they possibly can. It takes votes from two-thirds of Congress to overturn a presidential veto and force a law into place. HELP KEEP, AND FLIP, AS MANY SEATS BLUE AS POSSIBLE.
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
Hey Sandra Day O’Connor and Anthony Kennedy since you’re both still alive
#Satire #Opinion #PutinWarCriminal #StandWithUkraine #ArmUkraine #SaveDemocracy
Kenneth Branagh attends the 94th Annual Academy Awards (March 27, 2022)
Yep, it’s trending again.
If we can take Florida and Texas the Republikkkans will be broken.
Secede already!
I don’t want to feel addressed
Ways to support Ukraine 🇺🇦
More than 500,000 people have already left Ukraine due to the invasion by the Russian Federation. The European Commissioner for Humanitarian Aid and Crisis Management estimates that roughly 18 million Ukrainians will be affected by the conflict in humanitarian terms, with 7 million internally displaced and 4 million seeking refuge elsewhere. To help those still in Ukraine, as well as Ukrainian refugees, we’ve compiled this list of resources.
HelpUkraineWin.org has a collection of vetted and trusted resources, charities, and organizations to help Ukraine.
Some additional ways to donate:
Vostok SOS provides immediate evacuation support.
Malteser International provides essentials for Ukrainian refugees.
Ukraine Crisis Media Center provides fundraising links and a list of tips for sharing information.
Misinformation spreads fast on social media. It is more important than ever to share accurate, verifiable news and information. Here are some resources to learn how to identify misinformation:
This link from the nonprofit WITNESS shares tips for identifying authentic video sources (available in English, Spanish, Ukranian, Russian, and Arabic).
These visual verification tips, also from WITNESS, provide information on verifying images and videos (available in English and Spanish).
This interview with NPR contains tips for identifying fake TikToks.