How God Popped my Catholic Bubble and Unceremoniously Tossed me out of my Comfort Zone: A Memoir
The following text is a talk/testimony that I gave on a retreat recently. The theme was centered around the passage from the Gospel of Luke concerning Zacchaeus, so I tried to reflect that in my talk.
Context: I am from Sugar Land, which is a suburb of Houston, TX. I am a Senior at the University of St. Thomas, and I commute from Sugar Land, where I am currently living.
Let me tell you about a couple of my Sugar Land/ High school Friends- Three wild and crazy guys, in particular. Garrick, Luis, and We’ll refer to the third guy under the pseudonym “bobby”, because of reasons. Garrick was a cool guy and I was his confirmation sponsor, and he really struggled with being Catholic. He’s really just an honorary mention, so we’ll put him on the shelf for now. I’m going to focus on Luis and Bobby. Luis is like St. Augustine before his conversion in many ways but particularly this: knowing the good, but quite frankly not wanting to do it. I don’t think he realizes how much of a complement that is, though. He has so much potential for greatness. Bobby, on the other hand, is just crazy. The last time Bobby and Luis hung out, Luis ended up in the hospital (via Bobby’s partial responsibility). Then, as if that wasn’t bad enough, Bobby ditched him to run after some girl. Needless to say, we don’t hang out with Bobby anymore.
When we hang out, crazy, glorious, insane things are bound to happen. Let me give you an idea- One memorable Sunday evening about a year and a half ago, I went to get some ice cream with Luis and Bobby. The Ice-cream girl behind the counter was cute and funny and probably in high school, actually, and we had that *spark* of something or other, which is really uncommon. Anywhoo, we get our ice cream and go outside, AND MY FRIENDS LET ME HAVE IT. “DOOD”, they say, “IT’S now or never. You need to ask her for her number.” I’m like “NO, ha, you guys are insane”. And they were saying things like “what if she’s the one?????? Watch, you guys are going to get married and have like twenty babies. Bruh, life is short. Come on. She’s looking at you, see?” and this went on for at least AN HOUR. At last, I, weak from being pecked as by an absurdly colorful and persistent bird, gave in to their pressure. It was not my proudest moment, but *le fist pump* she gave me her number. When I called her, she was excited, but she had just broken up with a dude who thought they were still dating. I backed off. Nothing happened.
This was the straw that broke the camels back. I was concerned that these guys were a bad influence on me, and at the time, it seemed as if they were. However, they never actually pressured me to do anything morally wrong. Both I and Luis had some personal growing to do before our friendship could be healthy.
After I graduated from High school, I had already been trying to avoid these guys, which was really easy because I was really busy. After I transferred to the University of St. Thomas, and for what seemed the first time in my life, I had found a community of people who were very Catholic that I could relate to and things were sweet. One of the things I wanted the most throughout High School was a Catholic crew, a group of really catholic friends. It’s important to mention that having a community of Catholic people is absolutely necessary to living the spiritual life, and no one becomes a saint alone. However, this sort of community became dangerous for me, because it turned into a safety bubble where I hid away from the outside world. I grew proud, and the “us and them” mentality took over. Truly, a community that doesn’t breathe will fester and become insipid. I conveniently used this community to abandon my old friends.
However, the lord was coming for me in my comfortable satisfaction. Around the same time that the ice cream shop happened, I got a job at a pizza restaurant down the street from UST. At first, I was a bit overwhelmed. I was actually bothered by the secular music which played in the restaurant. Interacting with co-workers who were far from being catholic was difficult at first, and I struggled. Gradually, I learned to relate to people in a way that is more human, more universal. Over the course of the past year and a half where I worked at this restaurant, God slowly broke down much of the walls that I had erected between myself and my fellow man, and I managed to connect with some of my co-workers in ways that were at times vulnerable and real. This was good, especially considering the fact that I had originally intended to distance myself from my coworkers.
It’s also important to note that more recently I reconnected with Luis. I can confidently say that our friendship has been healthier than it’s ever been, despite both our shortcomings.
One thing from the passage about Zacchaeus that has weighed heavily on my heart over the past couple of years is that thing that Jesus is always doing in the Gospels where he dines with tax collectors and prostitutes. He enters the house of a sinner. Here in the Zacchaeus narrative, he goes to stay with Sacchaeus and the people grumble. “He is going to be the guest of a sinner” they say. SO Jesus hangs out with sinners. He dives into their brokenness, totally unfazed by the general opinion that he’s going to get dirty, or something, if he hangs out with them. This is one of the ways that Christ shows me who he is and, by extension, in some way, who I am called to be. He isn’t afraid to meet people where they are. He isn’t afraid to dive into the culture, and meet people in the culture, and take on the scent of his flock, and be in the world without losing his flavor. I learned that when I meet people where they are in the culture, I shouldn’t be concerned if I feel a bit dirty. This is normal and healthy, and even a little good for your spiritual immune system (so long as you do not sin and are not in danger of sinning. Discern for yourself) If you consider the reality, though, we’re all dirty. We all sin. My own house is the house of a sinner, so how can I turn my nose up at staying in the house of another?
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