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@catholicorprotestant
pickup lines
lan wangji going from
“not my monkey, not my circus 😒”
to
“this IS my monkey! and this is OUR circus! and I should’ve said so 16 years ago!”
i can't stop thinking about phil's sweaty ddr tryhard friendgroup. the mental image of him sitting there, having traveled to a whole different city for this, watching one of them ghost play on the floor next to the two on the actual machine and being like "hmm. this is perhaps a bit much." is killing me so bad. and then he starts dating the emo boy of his dreams and he is also a sweaty ddr tryhard like you can't make this up
"14 servings per package" listen man if you invite 13 people over to your house, buy a single "party size" bag of chips, and then you and all your guests each eat seven (7) chips and go "hmm, that was enough, I am satisfied! :)" then I'm coming into your house, and inhaling every single one of you and swallowing you without chewing like a baleen whale filtering krill.
It was super fucked up (as a non-USian looking in) to find out that, at least in the US, these weird serving sizes usually exist because there is no regulation or oversight about what a company can define as a "serving size" for their product, and they frequently abuse this fact to exploit loopholes that allow them to legally lie about what it contains.
E.g., The FDA used to allow any product that contained less than 0.5g of sugar per serving to list itself as containing no sugar. For a long time, this allowed TicTac mints in the US to claim in their nutrition facts to contain no sugar (despite being composed of roughly 90% sugar), because the company defined its serving size as a single 0.49g mint, thus having less than 0.5g of sugar per serving.
Similarly, there's a ton of examples of cooking sprays and oils that claim to contain 0 fat (despite the fact that oil is, by definition, fat) because they define such an absurdly small serving size that the content of fat per serving is just under the threshold that allows them to round it down to 0 grams.
SHOULD I BE HERE FOR THIS
phil's ex: yeah i watched your podcast and i think your boyfriend has really bad jealousy issues btw you should probably address those
phil, who's exactly where he wants to be with said jealous boyfriend:
I said “I know you can only sign one thing but can you please sign my ticket too? I can’t show the flag to my parents” They signed both, then Dan smiled and said “one day” x x
terrible influence tour update: told them how much this meant to me and that I was glad they got to have their own “one day”s 🥹 I said I haven’t had my one day moment yet and Dan said “we relate to that don’t worry” and so I got Dan to write it for me (and Phil drew a smiley!) so I can get it tatted 🥰 also somehow they signed 3 things this time around and I didn’t even notice
My nervous system has only somewhat recovered from this baking video. Femboy Phil will be making an appearance soon too.
Ok then
Dan actually could fight a leopard, but only after Phil flirts with it
phil vision
"and they were in love here, and here and here and here," I scream as they drag me away
hate criming ourselves for your entertainment! Gays Against Humanity 2 https://youtu.be/7M5-ybwEw9o
Sure, Lan Wangji was Lan Qiren's star pupil (and de facto teacher's pet) when he and Wei Wuxian were studying at the Cloud Recesses together as teenagers. But the book never says that Lan Qiren specifically gave Lan Wangji the task of supervising Wei Wuxian in the library pavilion when he was copying texts as punishment. Any Lan pupil in good standing could have done it.
My point is, you can’t convince me that teenage Lan Wangji didn’t volunteer for this job. That he didn’t stubbornly insist, with a completely contrite demeanor, that it must be him who monitors the sexy delinquent one-on-one. It’s a terrible sacrifice, dear shufu, but someone must sit very, very close to the hot bad boy and watch his every move and correct his naughty, sexy behavior and even restrain him if necessary, and—
i saw some comments on tiktok where people were talking bout how they found tumblr too hard to use and part of it being that there was no lack of dates so “what if you reblog or like something from five years ago?!”
buddy… we have posts circulating still from 2011, its literally just how it is
Being on tumblr for years like:
this post is 2 years old and it’s only going to get funnier as it gets older
This is how the entire internet was supposed to be. Before social media we made webpages and a webpage was supposed to be timeless, a permanent “shrine” to something we liked, intended to keep getting visitors and comments for as long as it stayed up. When “blogging” became a concept every blog post was supposed to be the same sort of long term fixture.
The idea that posts have some sort of freshness date comes solely from the poisonous garbage world of the engagement farming business.