pairingsáŻâŠâË ex bsf!jj maybank x kook!fem!reader
summaryáŻâŠâË some things donât endâ they just wait for you to end up in the same room.
word countáŻâŠâË ~4.1k
warningsáŻâŠâË unresolved feelings
authors note: áŻâŠâË im currently raw dogging the eff out of this series, but i hope you guys enjoyed part 2 of you mean more than you should
the party keeps moving around you like nothing happened.
like moments donât split open quietly every day and leave people standing inside them afterward.
someone says your name.
you answer automatically.
someone asks if youâre having fun.
you smile automatically.
itâs almost impressive, honestly, the way your body continues performing without asking permission from the rest of you first.
the music feels louder now.
or maybe youâre just noticing it differently.
conversation folds over itself around you, light and effortless, drifting from vacations to sailing to families youâve known your entire life without ever really knowing at all. laughter rises somewhere to your left. glasses clink again. somebody brushes against your shoulder in passing and apologizes without looking long enough to mean it.
you nod anyway.
everything continues exactly as it should. and somehow thatâs the problem. because now thereâs something underneath it. something slightly off rhythm.
your attention keeps snagging against the same invisible point in the crowd like a loose thread you canât stop catching your fingers on.
even after heâs gone from view.
you hate that.
you hate more that part of you keeps checking anyway.
âyou okay?â
the question pulls your attention back just enough to realize someoneâs looking at you expectantly.
you blink once.
smile again.
âof course.â
easy.
too easy.
the conversation resumes without issue, but your chest feels tight suddenly, the air heavier than it was earlier, thick with perfume and heat and too many bodies standing too close together pretending none of them are uncomfortable.
you glance toward the water without thinking.
the moons' light flickers softly against the ocean.
quiet.
far enough away to breathe.
before you fully decide to move, your bodyâs already doing it.
slowly at first.
carefully.
a hand brushing someoneâs arm in apology, a soft excuse me, a practiced smile over your shoulder. no one stops you. no one questions it. why would they?
youâve perfected disappearing politely.
the music dulls the further you walk.
grass gives way to wood beneath your heels near the path, covered in sand, the sound sharper now less muffled, more real. the breeze hits your skin immediately, cooler near the water, lifting strands of hair away from your neck.
you inhale once.
fully this time.
and for the first time all evening, it feels like the breath actually reaches your lungs.
behind you, the party continues in softened fragments. distant enough now to blur together into something almost meaningless.
out here, everything feels slower.
honester.
you slip your heels off without thinking too hard about it, fingers hooking through the straps as you step closer to the edge of the water. the sand is cool beneath your feet.
the water moves quietly below.
you stare at it for a second too long.
then longer.
your shoulders loosen gradually, tension unwinding in places you hadnât realized were clenched. the expression falls from your face entirely once thereâs no one around to hold it in place.
it feels strange.
being unwatched.
you rub lightly beneath one eye before stopping yourself halfway through the motion, exhaling once through your nose.
âthought i was the only one hiding out here.â
the voice cuts through the quiet before you hear the footsteps.
your head turns immediately.
jj slows slightly when you look at him, like he wasnât fully expecting you to actually still be there once he said something out loud.
for a second neither of you speak.
the breeze shifts between you.
his hoodie hangs loose on top of his dress pants, sleeves shoved up carelessly, hair messy from the wind or maybe his hands. the bruise along his cheekbone looks darker out here without the party lights softening it.
he notices you noticing.
his jaw tightens faintly.
you look away first this time.
âdidnât think anyone else would come out here.â
it comes out quieter than you expect.
less sharp.
more honest in a way you donât fully mean to let slip.
jj huffs a small breath, almost a laugh, but it doesnât fully make it there.
âyeah?â he says. âguess we both needed it then.â
thereâs a pause after that small, but heavy in a different way than before.
not tense exactly.
just⊠aware.
like the space between you remembers things your mouths arenât saying yet.
you glance back at him again, slower this time.
âyou okay?â you ask before you can think better of it.
the question hangs there immediately after you say it, like you didnât mean to give it that much weight.
jj looks at you for a second longer than necessary.
âyeah,â he says, but it sounds like something heâs repeating more than admitting.
and just like that, the silence between you changes.
itâs not empty anymore.
itâs full of everything you both arenât saying.
he stays near the enough at first, like he hasnât fully decided whether heâs staying or leaving yet.
you donât tell him to go.
that probably says enough on its own.
behind him, the music swells briefly when someone opens one of the terrace doors, then dulls again as it shuts.
silence settles back in.
not comfortable.
not uncomfortable either.
just aware.
jj glances toward the water, then back at you.
âit's kinda weird seeing you here.â
your brows pull together slightly.
âhere?â
âoutside all that.â he gestures vaguely toward the party behind him. âusually youâre better at pretending you like it.â
the comment should irritate you.
instead it lands somewhere quieter.
because he noticed.
of course he did.
you look back out at the water before answering.
âusually i m.â
thereâs a pause after that.
small.
but it shifts something.
jjâs posture changes almost imperceptibly, tension pulling differently through his shoulders now, like your honesty caught him slightly off guard.
he steps closer before seeming to realize heâs doing it.
stops.
close enough now that you can hear the dock creak lightly beneath his weight when he shifts.
âso what changed?â
the question comes out rougher than he probably intended.
not casual.
too direct for that.
you could lie.
you almost do.
instead, your fingers tighten slightly around your heels.
âi saw you.â
the words leave quietly.
simple.
completely unprotected.
jj stills.
actually stills.
like his entire body forgot to keep moving for a second.
immediately, you regret saying it.
not because it isnât true.
because it is.
his eyes flick toward you quickly, something unreadable crossing his face before he looks away again toward the water.
âyeah,â he says after a second, quieter now. âthatâll do it.â
the breeze moves between you again.
you watch him from the corner of your eye as he rubs a hand over the back of his neck once, visibly restless.
âyou shouldâve left earlier,â you say before you can stop yourself.
his head turns slightly.
âwanted to.â
âbut?â
he laughs once under his breath.
short.
humorless.
âyou already know the answer to that.â
something in your chest tightens unexpectedly.
dangerously.
the dock creaks softly when he steps closer again this time, slower about it now, like heâs aware of every inch.
âyou disappeared,â you say suddenly.
his expression shifts immediately.
not dramatically.
worse.
like something sharper slid underneath his skin.
âthatâs not what happened.â
âisnât it?â
his jaw flexes.
you can almost see the argument happen inside him before he says anything at all.
âyou think i had a lotta reasons to stay?â
the question lands heavier than the volume of it should allow.
you look at him properly then.
really look.
the bruise.
the split lip.
the exhaustion sitting low behind his eyes like something permanent.
for a second, the version of him standing in front of you overlaps painfully with the version you remember.
summer nights on the beach.
his hoodie around your shoulders because you always got cold near the water even when you insisted you were fine, like saying it out loud would make it true.
his laugh somewhere to your right while the bonfire burned low, the sound of it mixing with the ocean like it belonged there more than anything else.
your head against his shoulder like it was the most natural thing in the world, like there had never been a version of you that didnât know exactly how that felt.
the memory doesnât arrive gently.
it hits.
fast, full, almost disorienting, like your body recognizes it before your mind can brace for it, and for a second it actually feels like the air shifts out of your lungs.
jj notices something change in your expression immediately.
of course he does.
he always did.
âdonât,â he says again, softer this time.
but thereâs something different in it now less sharp, less defensive, like it costs him more to say it this way.
his eyes donât leave you.
âbecause if you keep looking at me like that, iâm gonna forget we ever stopped.â
the words land between you both like something fragile and dangerous at the same time, like they shouldnât exist out loud but do anyway.
you blink once, slower than you mean to, because suddenly the space between you feels thinner than it was a second ago.
and you do remember.
too much, all at once.
not in pieces you can separate or soften or put away, but all of it at once, rushing in so quickly it almost feels like your chest tightens around it.
you remember his hand brushing yours and neither of you moving away, like acknowledging it would have changed everything and neither of you were ready to survive that.
you remember almost-kisses that turned into silence at the last second, the space between you always breaking first, always saving you both from whatever came after.
you remember one night on the beach when he looked at you too long and everything between you shifted quietly into something neither of you knew how to survive, something that didnât have language but still somehow existed anyway.
you remember kissing him anyway.
once.
just once.
salt air.
warm skin.
his hand at the side of your neck like he didnât know where else to put it, like he was trying to memorize you and forget you at the same time.
and afterwardâ
nothing.
not because it meant nothing.
because it meant too much.
jj looks away first this time, jaw tight enough to hurt.
âthat was a long time ago.â
you swallow hard.
âdidnât feel like it earlier.â
the words slip out before you can stop them.
his eyes snap back to yours instantly.
silence.
real silence this time.
dangerous silence.
because now the thing sitting between you has shape.
his chest rises slowly once.
falls again.
âyou canât say stuff like that.â
your brows pull together.
âwhy?â
he laughs softly, but thereâs nothing amused in it.
âseriously?â
he takes another step closer without seeming fully aware heâs doing it.
close enough now that you can see the faded freckles across his nose beneath the summer burn.
close enough that your body registers him before your thoughts do.
âyouâre gonna stand there lookinâ at me like that,â he says quietly, âand act like this isnât already hard enough?â
the words land directly beneath your ribs.
because suddenly you understand something awful:
heâs struggling too.
not politely.
not carefully.
violently.
in the same ugly unfinished way you are.
your grip tightens around your heels.
âjjââ
ânah.â he shakes his head once. âyou donât get to do that either.â
âdo what?â
his jaw flexes again.
âsay my name like nothinâ happened.â
your chest tightens so sharply it almost feels embarrassing.
because the truth isâ
everything happened.
just not loudly.
the breeze moves your hair across your shoulder again and this time jj actually reaches up instinctively before stopping himself halfway.
his hand freezes in the air between you.
both of you notice.
his expression shifts immediately afterward, frustration flashing across his face like heâs angry at his own reflexes.
slowly, he lowers his hand again.
but now neither of you are breathing normally.
âthis was a mistake,â he mutters.
you donât know which part he means.
coming here.
staying.
you.
before you can ask, voices drift down from farther up the dock.
closer this time.
your body reacts instantly.
shoulders straightening.
expression smoothing.
everything soft about you disappearing behind practiced composure so quickly it almost feels mechanical.
jj watches it happen in real time.
and something in his face closes immediately after.
not because heâs surprised.
because he isnât.
because he remembers this too.
the way you become untouchable the second someone else is looking.
you hear it before you see it.
a voice cutting through the dock air from somewhere behind jj, loud enough to carry over the hush between you but familiar enough that it doesnât feel like it belongs to this moment.
for you, it lands instantly.
you donât turn right away.
instead, something small slips out of youâan exhale that almost turns into a laugh as you glance down, already knowing whatâs about to happen.
âjj!â
the voice calls again, closer now.
and the second jj hears it, he closes his eyes briefly, like heâs already accepted his fate.
a long, tired sigh leaves him.
âoh my godâŠâ he mutters under his breath.
you huff a quiet laugh at that, shaking your head slightly, still looking down at the wood beneath your feet like itâs suddenly the most interesting thing in the world.
behind him, footsteps approach quickly.
âjj!â john b calls again, louder this time. âdude, where have you been? iâve been looking everywhere for you.â
jj turns slightly toward him, already wearing that expression like heâs trying very hard not to make this worse than it already is.
âyeahâheyâjohn b,â he says, too fast, too stiff. âlisten, manââ
john b doesnât slow down.
he just squints at him mid-walk.
âwhy do you look like that?â
jj blinks.
âlike what.â
âlike youâre about to tell me someone died,â john b says, completely unaware.
jj exhales again, sharper this time, and subtly shifts his body a fractionâjust enough to angle himself so john bâs line of sight would include you if he took one more step.
âdonât what?â john b interrupts, still not getting it.
jj tightens his jaw.
âjustâlook around you for a second.â
john b finally slows, glancing past jj like heâs trying to follow instructions he doesnât understand.
âi am looking around,â he says. âi see you. i see dock. i seeâwhy are you acting weird?â
jj closes his eyes again for half a second.
you can tell heâs physically fighting the urge to just point.
âjohn b,â jj says slowly, like heâs talking someone through a life-threatening situation, âthereâs literallyâsomeoneâright here.â
john b stares at him.
ââŠwho?â
jj gestures vaguely behind him without fully turning, expression screaming please figure it out on your own.
âyouâre really gonna make me say it?â
john b leans slightly to the side to try and see past him.
âsay what?â
jj gives him a look so loaded it shouldâve been a full sentence.
you let out a soft laugh under your breath, still looking down, shaking your head like this is somehow exactly what you expected.
john b finally stops right behind jjâs shoulder, peering past him properly now.
âjj,â he says slowly, squinting harder, âwho is your friendââ
and thatâs when he sees you.
thereâs a beat where everything in him just⊠halts.
you donât move yet.
you just breathe in once, then lift your head slightly, finally letting the moment land fully.
a small, amused smile tugs at your mouth.
âhey, john b.â
then you turn around.
his reaction is immediate.
shock firstâsharp, unfiltered, like his brain refuses to accept what his eyes are telling him. then recognition floods in, softening his expression into something completely disarmed.
âno way,â he says, almost laughing in disbelief. ânoâno way.â
your name leaves him a second later, quieter, like heâs checking if itâs real.
and then he steps forward and pulls you into a hug.
itâs quick, instinctiveâlike the years didnât fully overwrite what used to be normal. when he pulls back, heâs still smiling, but itâs different now. softer. careful.
âitâs been forever,â he says. âhowâve you been?â
jj stays where he is.
just slightly behind john b now.
watching.
not interrupting.
just⊠still.
john b doesnât notice that part at firstânot fully. heâs too caught up in seeing you again, in the fact that youâre here, standing on this dock like you never really left the orbit of everything they used to be.
but then his eyes flick between you and jj.
once.
then again.
and something in his expression subtly shifts.
not confusion anymore.
understanding.
âyeah,â he says after a beat, quieter now. âokay.â
a pause.
then he gives you a small, genuine smile.
âitâs really good to see you.â
he steps back, hand briefly patting jjâs shoulder as he passes like heâs filing this away for later without forcing it open right now.
âiâllâuhâcatch you guys later,â he adds, already turning. âdonât disappear again, alright?â
and then heâs gone.
back toward the party.
leaving the dock quieter than before.
and heavier.
because now itâs just you and jj againâ
but not the same version of you that existed before john b arrived.
something has already shifted.
and neither of you says it out loud.
the silence after john b leaves doesnât settle the way silence is supposed to. it doesnât soften or fade into the background like it should. instead, it lingers, thick and intentional, like something has been exposed without anyone actually saying what it is. jj shifts his weight slightly on the dock, but he doesnât look at you right away. it feels like heâs giving himself a second to rebuild whatever just got pulled apart in front of him.
you watch him for a moment before speaking, your voice quieter than before when it finally comes out. âyou were really gonna let him keep guessing forever?â
jj lets out a short breath through his nose, almost like a laugh but without any real humor in it. âwas kinda hoping he wouldnât show up at all, actually.â
that earns a faint, humorless smile from you, but it doesnât last. it fades almost as quickly as it appears, slipping back into the heavier quiet between you. âyeah,â you say softly, âthat tracks.â
another pause stretches out between you, the water below moving gently as if none of this is happening above it. jj finally looks at you then, and thereâs something less guarded in his expression now, not soft exactly, but stripped down in a way that feels more honest than anything heâs said so far. âyou know whatâs messed up?â he says.
you donât answer right away, just watch him, and he continues anyway. âi spent the whole night trying not to look at you like i used to,â he admits, letting out a small, sharp-edged laugh that doesnât really match his eyes. âlike that was gonna make it better or something.â
your chest tightens at that, quiet and immediate. âand did it?â you ask softly.
jj shakes his head once. âno.â
the honesty sits there between you for a second too long, unclaimed, uncomfortable in how real it is. you swallow, your fingers tightening around your heels without thinking. âi didnât exactly make it easy either,â you admit.
that finally makes him look at you fully. âno,â he agrees. âyou didnât.â but thereâs no accusation in it, just something steadier and heavier, like heâs stating a fact neither of you can rewrite.
and somehow thatâs worse, because facts donât give you anywhere to go. you look away first, down toward the water, your voice quieter when it comes again. âi donât know what you wanted me to do, jj.â
he exhales slowly, like heâs trying to keep something inside himself from spilling over. âi didnât want you to do anything.â
a pause. then, softer, âthat was kind of the problem.â
that lands differently. heavier. he steps a little closer without meaning to, like the space between you has been shrinking on its own since john b walked away. âwe were fine before,â he says, but it doesnât sound like something he believes anymore even as he says it.
you let out a quiet laugh under your breath, barely there. âwe werenât fine.â
his jaw tightens slightly. âwe were something.â
that word hangs between you both. something. not nothing, not defined enough to survive time or distance or silence, just something that used to exist and still somehow does in the space between your eye contact and your breathing.
you finally look at him again, really look at him, and whatever restraint you were holding starts to feel thinner now, stretched too far by everything thatâs already been said and everything neither of you has said yet. âjj,â you say quietly.
he answers immediately, voice lower now. âdonât.â
you blink once. âdonât what?â
âdonât start talking like that,â he says, shaking his head slightly.
your breath catches, frustration mixing with something sharper underneath it. âlike what?â
he steps closer again without fully realizing it, and now the distance between you feels almost fragile. âlike youâre about to make this real again,â he says.
that should stop you, but it doesnât. instead, your voice drops even lower. âit already is.â
that shifts everything immediately. his eyes lock onto yours in a way that feels sharper now, like that sentence pulled something open neither of you were keeping sealed anymore. âno,â he says quietly, but thereâs no real force behind it, only resistance thatâs already starting to fail. âno, itâs not.â
you tilt your head slightly, studying him in a way that makes his expression tighten. âthen why are you still standing here?â
silence follows, but it isnât empty anymore. it feels charged, like itâs holding its breath with you. jj exhales slowly, like heâs trying to steady something in himself that wonât stay steady. âbecause i donât know how to leave you alone,â he admits, voice lower and rougher now. âapparently that never changed.â
something in your expression shifts at that, small but real. âyeah,â you whisper. âi noticed.â
thatâs what breaks the balance.
not all at once, not dramatically, just enough that something tips. you step closer first, slow and careful, like youâre giving him every possible chance to stop you before you cross a line that canât be taken back. he doesnât move away. he just watches you, breathing slightly uneven now, jaw tight like heâs holding himself in place more than heâs holding himself back.
âdonât do that,â he murmurs.
youâre close enough now that the space between your voices barely exists. âdo what?â
his eyes flick to your mouth for half a second before forcing themselves back up. âtest me.â
your breath catches, because thatâs exactly what this is, and he knows it. you should stop there. you donât. instead, you step just slightly closer again, slow enough that it feels like a decision hanging in the air rather than an action. his hand twitches faintly at his side but doesnât rise, doesnât stop you.
your voice is barely above the wind now. âiâm not the one who stayed.â
that lands hard. you see it in him immediately, something shifting underneath the surface like that sentence hit something already loose. âyou think i didnât want to?â he says quietly, and it comes out rawer than anything heâs said so far, honest in a way that feels unfiltered.
thatâs what does it. not anger, not history, just that kind of honesty that doesnât leave room for pretending anymore. you lift your gaze to his properly, and thereâs no space left now between you for anything safe or distant. the air tightens, your breathing slows, his doesnât.
you lean in first, not fully, just enough to cross the line and see if he moves. he doesnât. he freezes, but he doesnât step back, doesnât stop you, doesnât close the gap. your face hovers just close enough to his that the next breath would collapse everything.
and for a second it feels like it might.
jjâs voice drops, barely there. âyouâre insane.â but thereâs no real bite in it, only something that sounds dangerously close to surrender.
your eyes flick to his again, and you wait, for him to move, for him to stop you, for anything that would make this simple again. he doesnât. so instead, you tilt slightly, and at the very last second, you donât kiss him. you press a soft kiss to his cheek instead, gentle and deliberate in a way that somehow says more than the thing it avoids.
you pull back just enough to look at him once more. his eyes are still closed for a moment too long, like he didnât expect that version of the ending. when they open, youâre already stepping away, not rushing, just creating distance like youâve done before.
your voice is quiet when you speak again. âgoodnight, jj.â
and then you turn, leaving him standing there with the version of you he didnât stop, and the realization that he still didnât.
a/n that i forgot to add: pics in layout were found on pinterest!
pairingsáŻâŠâË jj maybank x sweetheart!reader
summaryáŻâŠâË things go wrong fast after the poguesâ plan spirals, and tensions between you and jj reach a breaking point before everything finally settles in the quiet aftermath.
word countáŻâŠâË ~3.8k
warningsáŻâŠâË based on outer banks season 1 events, heavily jj-focused, comfort ending.
you were shaking in the back of john bâs twinkie.
it wasnât entirely newâ being around them never really was, but being this close to it, to the kind of chaos that could flip in an instant, was what scared you most. like you were always one breath away from everything going quiet in the worst possible way.
everything had been going well up until it wasnât.
one second there was noise and motion and stupid, hopeful confidence filling the car like maybe this time it would actually work.
and thenâ
before any of you even had time to understand it.
you were all being dragged out of the van by a masked man holding a shot gun steady against your bodies.
âget out. now.â
the plan had seemed too good to be true from the start. pawning the gold, walking away clean, like the pogues ever got clean endings.
you donât remember much of it after that. just impact, dirt against your palms, the world suddenly too loud and too sharp all at once.
you were on the ground before you even fully processed it, stomach pressed flat against the earth, with pope to your left and jj to your right.
tears were already slipping down your face without sound, like your body had decided it didnât need permission anymore.
you turned your head toward jj on instinct.
he was close enough that you could see his breathing was off, chest rising too fast, jaw tight in a way that didnât feel like panic. it felt like something sharper, more controlled than everything around him.
for a second, your eyes just found him like it was automatic.
like if anything made sense right now, it would be him.
his gaze snapped to yours immediately.
and something in his expression shifted. just a fraction, just enough to break through the chaos for a second.
âhey,â he said low, quick, like he didnât want anyone else hearing it. his eyes flicked over your face. âdonât cry, angel.â
it wasnât teasing the way he usually did.
it was softer than that.
almost careful.
your throat tightened, and you couldnât even tell if you nodded or just tried to.
his jaw flexed like he didnât like seeing you like that.
âyouâre okay,â he added, quieter this time, like he was trying to convince you more than himself.
you werenât sure you believed him.
but you were looking at him anywayâ like you didnât have another choice.
and for a second, it almost felt like he might stay there.
but then his eyes shifted.
something in him snapped back into place.
focused. sharp. gone from soft in a heartbeat.
âjjâwhat are you doing?!â pope shouted.
jj didnât answer.
he was already moving.
up in an instant, running straight toward john bâŠwho was suddenly in the masked manâs car?
you run behind jj, breath caught in your throat, just trying to keep up with how fast everything is moving.
he has the guy out of the car in seconds, yanking him like itâs instinct rather than thought. at the same time, pope breaks off toward the gold, john b half-climbing out of the back like heâs trying to catch up to his own plan, and suddenly itâs just all of you thrown into the same chaos at once: sarah and kiara stepping in beside you without a word.
âget him!â kiara shouts, already moving into place.
everything happens too fast after that.
jj hits first. sharp, controlled, but itâs enough to make the masked man turn, just slightly, just enough for his attention to shift your way.
and thatâs all it takes.
you donât think. you just step in and punch him as hard as you can.
the impact stings immediately, but you donât stopâdonât even register it because he stumbles right into kiaraâs strike.
âgo!â kiara snaps as she knocks him down clean.
sarah follows without hesitation, slamming him back with the driver door.
âstay down!â she says under her breath.
jj is suddenly there beside you, quick glance flicking to your hand.
âyou good?â he asks fast, already checking before you even answer.
you nod, still breathing too hard to speak.
but then he looks up.
and sees the masked man on the ground.
something in jjâs face changes instantly.
he rips the mask off.
âi know this piece of shit!â he spits. âheâs a basehead!â
sarah frowns. âprobably knows my brother.â
âhe sells coke to my dad,â jj adds, voice tight, like it explains everything and nothing at once.
the man tries to talk again.
jj doesnât let him.
he hits him a few more times before anyone can fully react, anger spilling out faster than anyone can stop it.
âjj!â kiara snaps immediately.
âdude, chill, man!â pope calls out, rushing in.
john b is already moving back in, urgency cutting through it all. âalright, come onâeveryone, we gotta go!â
but jj barely hears him.
heâs crouched down, already grabbing the wallet, flipping it open like something in his head just locked into place.
âjj, we need to leave!â pope says again, more desperate now.
he just pulls the card out, staring at it for a beat too long.
then he straightens.
keys in hand.
and says, calm but certain, "we got one last stop. we gon' see where this son ofa' bitch lives."
you were still shaking when jj took off.
jj didnât hesitate, he just bolted for the twinkie like it was the only thing that made sense anymore.
âjjâwait!â you called after him, running to keep up. âis that even a good idea?â
he didnât slow down.
âdon't you trust me?â he snapped over his shoulder. âjust keep up!â
that made you falter for half a second.
not because he yelled, but because it was you.
you pushed through it anyway, chasing him.
behind you, voices carried across the distance, rough and furious.
âi'm gon' remember this!â the guy shouted.
âi know exactly who you guys are!â the same voice barked.
behind you and jj, john b was still by the guy. he didnât hesitate, but he bent down, grabbed his keys, and threw them hard into the trees.
jj yanked open the twinkie door.
you caught up just as he climbed in.
âjj, what are you doing?â you asked quickly.
he glanced at you, jaw tight. âjust stay with me.â
short. clipped. no room for anything else.
and then he was gone into the car.
the twinkie rolled to a stop in front of barryâs place, the air already feeling wrong the second you saw it.
sarah leaned forward, looking out the window like she couldnât believe it. âwelcome to crackhead wasteland.â
âi donât know about this, man,â pope muttered under his breath, shifting in his seat.
you stayed quiet, fingers still tense in your lap, eyes flicking between everyone.
âdude, why are we at barryâs?â john b asked, already sounding like he regretted asking.
jj was already halfway out of the car before anyone finished talking.
âthisâll only take a second,â he said, like that was supposed to make it better.
âjjâwait,â john b started.
âyo soy justicia,â jj tossed back over his shoulder, disappearing toward the house.
there was a beat of silence.
thenâ
âi donât know about this, man,â pope said again, quieter this time.
your eyes stayed on jj as he went. then you looked at john b. âgo with him.â
âwhat? why me?â
âjust go, pleaseâ you said firmly.
john b sighed. âfine.â
he got out and followed after jj.
the door shut behind them, leaving the rest of you sitting in the twinkie.
the air felt tighter without them.
âsoâŠâ pope said awkwardly, glancing at you. âyou okay?â
kie turned in her seat too, softer now. âyeah, youâre kinda quiet. you good?â
you nodded a little, even if it didnât feel fully true. âyeah. just⊠processing.â
âyeah, same,â pope muttered. âthis whole day is insane.â
kiara huffed a small breath. âitâs always insane with them.â
a beat passed.
outside, a dog barked somewhere near barryâs house.
you kept your eyes on the door jj disappeared through without meaning to.
and thenâ
movement.
jj came back out first, walking fast.
john b was right behind him.
jj looked the same as always. too confident, too certain, but there was something sharper in his energy now, like heâd locked in on something everyone else hadnât caught up to yet.
he didnât even look at the car at first.
just kept moving.
like whatever he just did had already decided what came next.
everyone stepped out of the twinkie, gravel crunching underfoot as the air between you all tightened instantly.
jj stood in front of you like he already had the whole thing figured out.
âall right,â he said, breathing still a little heavy, âweâre looking at five grand each for reparations for putting us through that bullshit.â
a beat.
he rubbed a hand over his mouth, like he was only half-aware of how it sounded. âsorry about that, yâall.â
âso thatâs what weâre doing now?â kiara shot back immediately. âweâre robbing drug dealers?â
âthis barry guyâs gonna find out,â sarah said, arms crossed tight. âand heâs gonna come after us.â
âyeah, he will,â pope added flatly. âthis is not the time to start wildinâ out.â
you stood slightly behind them, quieter than everyone else, the adrenaline still buzzing but fading into something heavier.
you werenât even fully listening anymore.
just watching jj.
like you always did.
until your voice came out anywayâ soft, almost too calm for everything going on.
âjj⊠this is not okay.â
it wasnât loud.
it didnât need to be.
but it cut through him anyway.
he looked at you immediately.
âwhat?â he said, sharper than before.
you hesitated. âyou canât justâ decide this is whatâs best for everyone.â
âiâm not deciding anything,â he snapped back. âiâm fixing what just happened.â
âjj, you even pulled a gun on someone,â you said quietly, shaking a little now, but still steady enough to look at him.
that made something in his expression shift.
not guilt exactly.
pressure.
âoh my god,â he muttered, shaking his head. âdonât do that right now.â
âdo what?â your voice wavered, but you didnât stop.
âact like iâm the bad guy,â he said, stepping closer, voice rising now. âwe literally just got ambushed and youâre standing here lecturing me?â
âiâm not lecturing youâŠiâm trying to understand you,â you said, softer again, like you always were with him even when it hurt.
that was the breaking point.
âno, youâre not,â jj snapped. âyouâre just standing there making it worse.â
silence hit for half a second.
you blinked like that actually hurt more than it shouldâve.
before anyone could say anything elseâ
âdonât talk to her like that,â john b cut in immediately and he stepped forward, grabbing the duffle from jjâs hands. âweâve gotta go get the gold, okay? just give me that shit.â
jj shoved him hard.
john b slammed back into the twinkie as jjâs grasp against his shirt tightened.
âjjâstop!â you shouted, louder than you meant to.
your voice cracked slightly at the end, but it was enough.
john b wiped his mouth, glaring. âdo you feel like a tough guy, huh? what are you gonna do when he comes for us?â
âwe punch him in the throat,â jj shot back immediately.
john b let out a sharp, disbelieving laugh. âyeah, good fucking idea, jj.â
jj didnât even blink.
âiâm not putting it back,â he said, already turning toward the twinkie. âyou guys getting in or what?â
âwhat?â pope said, stunned.
âweâre sick of your shit,â john b snapped.
âoh, my shit?â jj turned back instantly, heat rising again. âyeah? my pulling guns on people shit? my saving your ass shit?â
âyou acting like a maniacââ pope started.
âokay, pope, i took the fall for you, man!â jj cut him off, voice breaking at the edges now. âdonât start with me.â
you barely registered the rest after that.
everything started blurring.
voices overlapping. tension snapping tighter and tighter until it felt like there was nowhere left for it to go.
and then jj was moving like heâd already decided none of this mattered anymore.
your stomach dropped.
âjjâwait,â you called, but it came out small.
he didnât turn at first, just kept walking like he could outrun whatever was happening behind him.
you took a step after him anyway, like your body didnât really give you a choice.
âjj, pleaseââ you called out, your voice already shaking before you could finish.
that was when he finally snapped back toward you, not fully stopping, just turning enough to look at you for a second, his expression sharp and exhausted and overloaded in a way you werenât used to seeing aimed at you. âjust go back,â he said, louder now, cutting through whatever you were trying to say.
that was what stopped you.
not the volume, not even the edge in his voice, but the fact that it was you he was saying it to.
you froze for a moment, like your body didnât know how to keep moving without him pulling you along anymore. âjjâŠâ you tried again, but your voice came out smaller this time, barely holding together.
he was already turning away again, jaw tight like he was forcing himself not to say anything else, and you were left standing there as the noise behind you felt suddenly far away and muffled, like it didnât belong to you anymore. you didnât even notice kiara reaching for you until she said your name softly, trying to pull you back into the group, but you shook your head and slipped past her anyway, forcing out a quiet âno, itâs fine,â even though it didnât look like it at all.
you followed him.
at first it was quick, almost desperate, like you could still fix whatever just shifted, and you called out again, âjj, stopâ cam you just talk to me,â your voice stronger this time, breaking through the space between you. he stopped abruptly, like heâd hit a wall he didnât see coming, and when he turned fully this time, it was worse than before. there wasnât softness there anymore, just frustration and pressure and something that looked like he was seconds away from exploding.
âwhat?â he snapped immediately, his voice cutting straight through you. âwhat do you want from me right now?â
you flinched a little but didnât stop, trying to steady yourself even as your chest tightened. âi just want you toââ
âno,â he cut you off again, sharper this time, stepping closer like he couldnât decide whether to push you away or keep you from getting any closer. âno, you donât get to do this right now.â
your breath caught in your throat at that, and for a second you just stared at him like you were trying to understand where this version of him had come from. âjjâŠâ
he let out a frustrated breath, shaking his head like he couldnât believe this was happening on top of everything else. âyou think this is about you? you think iâve got time right now to sit here and explain myself to you?â
that landed harder than anything else heâd said.
your eyes went glossy immediately, but you still tried to hold on to it. âiâm not asking you toââ
âyes, you are,â he shot back, voice rising again, more raw now than angry. âyouâre standing here like iâm supposed to just stop everything and make you feel better when weâre literally in the middle ofââ
he cut himself off, jaw clenching like he realized how far he was going, but it didnât soften anything. if anything, it made it heavier.
there was a beat of silence where neither of you moved, and when you finally spoke again, it came out smaller than before. âi just donât understand why youâre doing this.â
that was when something flickered across his faceâfrustration, something hurt underneath it, and then it was gone just as fast.
âyeah,â he said quietly, almost bitter, like he hated that question more than anything else right now. âno shit.â
your throat tightened instantly.
âjjâŠâ you tried again, but your voice was already breaking.
he shook his head once more, stepping back like he needed space more than anything else. âgo back,â he said again, lower this time but colder in a way that felt final. âyou donât need to be here for this.â
that was it.
your breath caught and didnât really come back right after that, tears spilling before you could stop them even though you werenât making a sound. you just stood there for a second, trying to breathe through it, trying not to completely fall apart in front of him.
but jj had already turned away again like it was done, like the moment didnât stretch the same way for him that it did for you.
and that was what broke it.
you stayed where you were, shaking, not moving, until you felt footsteps behind you and john bâs hand gently take your arm.
he didnât say anything at first, just steadied you for a second before speaking softly. âhey, come on. letâs go.â
you didnât resist when he guided you back, because your voice still didnât feel like it belonged to you anymore.
and behind you, jj didnât look back.
night had fully settled over the chateau, the kind of pitch dark that made everything outside feel far away and unreal. inside, it was quiet in a way that almost felt wrong after the chaos of the day. moonlight slipped through the wooden slats in thin lines across the floor and couch, turning everything soft and silver.
you were curled at the far end of the couch, arms wrapped around yourself, staring at nothing. john b was gone with sarah, pope and kiara had disappeared earlier, and all that was left was the hum of silence and your own thoughts refusing to settle. all you wanted was to know jj was okay, even if you were still too hurt to say it out loud properly.
the door creaked open.
jj stepped inside like he wasnât sure what version of you he was walking into. he paused when he saw you, then quietly shut the door behind him and walked over without saying anything.
the couch dipped when he sat beside you, close but not touching at first.
you didnât look at him.
not even when he sighed your name under his breath.
âhey,â he said finally, softer than earlier, like he was testing the space between you.
you still didnât move.
a beat passed.
then his hand came up gently, fingers sliding under your chin, turning your face toward him with care rather than force.
âcâmere,â he said quietly.
and after a second, you did.
you shifted into his lap carefully, like you werenât sure if you were allowed to, but he immediately wrapped his arms around you like you belonged there anyway. your hands hesitated at first before sliding around the back of his neck, holding on.
jj notices.
he doesnât say anything at first, just keeps his arms around you a little tighter like heâs afraid youâll disappear if he doesnât.
âhey,â he says quietly after a while, his voice rougher now, less certain than before. âyou still mad at me?â
you hesitate. not answering right away feels like an answer anyway.
âi donât know,â you admit softly.
that makes him look down at you, jaw tightening, but not defensively this timeâŠmore like heâs taking it in.
âyeah,â he breathes out. âfair.â
you reply small, but sharp around the edges.
âyou told me to leave you alone.â
jjâs jaw tightened slightly. âi know.â
âno,â you shook your head a little, pulling back just enough to look at him. âyou snapped at me. like i was just⊠in the way.â
his eyes flicked down for a second before meeting yours again. âyou werenât in the way,â he said quickly. âi was justâi was all over the place. i shouldnât have taken it out on you.â
you swallowed, still holding onto him. âi was trying to help you.â
âi know,â he said again, quieter this time. âi know you were.â
a pause stretched between you.
your voice softened, but it didnât lose how much it mattered. âand then you just left. like it didnât even matter that i was standing there.â
his grip tightened slightly at that, like it hit him harder than he wanted to admit.
âi didnât mean it like that,â he said, and there was less defense in it now. more honesty. âi justâi thought if i pushed you out of it youâd be safer.â
your brows pulled together slightly. âthat doesnât make it feel better.â
âyeah,â he let out a quiet breath. âi know.â
you hesitated, then added, voice lower now, âand then you stole the money.â
that made him glance away for a second, jaw flexing like he was bracing for it.
âyeah,â he admitted.
you didnât let go of him, but your voice wavered a little. âi didnât even know what was happening. one second everything was already bad and the next you just decided we were doing something worse.â
he looked back at you then, more steady. âi wasnât trying to make it worse.â
âit felt like it,â you said honestly.
that landed.
he nodded once, slow. âi know.â
silence again, but softer this time. less like distance, more like space to breathe.
his hand moved gently at your back, grounding you.
âi justâŠâ he started, then stopped, like he was choosing his words carefully for once. âwhen that guy pulled a gun on you, i couldnât think straight. and then everything after that was justânoise.â
you stayed quiet, watching him.
he looked at you then, really looked.
âand you were right there,â he added quietly. âand i still managed to mess it up with you.â
your expression softened slightly despite yourself.
âyou always do that,â you muttered, but there wasnât real anger in it anymore.
a faint breath of a laugh slipped out of him. âyeah. iâm working on it.â
you studied him for a second longer, then shifted a little closer again, forehead almost against his chest.
âdonât do that again,â you said quietly.
his arms tightened immediately. âi wonât.â
you werenât sure you fully believed it.
but you wanted to.
after a moment, your grip around his neck loosened just slightly as you exhaled, the tension finally starting to drain out of you in pieces.
jj tilted his head down a little, resting his chin near your hair.
âhey,â he said softly.
you hummed in response.
and without pushing it, without turning it into anything bigger than it needed to be, he pressed a small, quiet kiss to the top of your head.
you didnât move away.
instead, your arms tightened around him again, holding on a little longer this time.
authors note: áŻâŠâË i was too smiley while writing this
you didnât really âjoinâ the pogues so much as you just ended up there one day and never left. like you were always just⊠part of it. no one remembers the exact moment it happened, which feels right for how the outer banks works anywayâ things blur, people drift together, and suddenly thereâs just a group of you that feels permanent even when nothing else is.
youâre not soft around the edges, and you never really tried to be. you donât laugh when you donât find something funny, you donât pretend youâre interested when youâre not, and you donât bother smoothing yourself out for anyoneâs comfort. if anything, you seem committed to being difficult about it.
john b learned quickly that your eye rolls donât mean youâre not listening. pope figured out youâll act like youâre above everything while still somehow knowing exactly whatâs going on. kie stopped taking your attitude personally after the third time you showed up uninvited and still somehow made everything easier just by being there. sarah called you intimidating once, then quietly started sitting closer to you after that.
you donât correct any of their assumptions. itâs easier that way.
you show up when you want, disappear when you donât, and somehow still end up in the middle of everything important. bonfires, boat days, arguments that turn into plans that turn into trouble. youâre there in all of it, like gravity just decided you were part of the system.
especially when it comes to him.
jj maybank has been a problem since the moment he decided you were interesting.
at first, it was just annoying. he was everywhereâ too loud, too close, always in your space like he had never heard of personal boundaries. heâd steal your drink without asking, lean into your shoulder like he belonged there, grab your wrist mid-sentence just to drag you into whatever stupid idea he had next.
âcome on, youâre coming with me.â
âno, iâm not.â
âyeah, you are.â
and somehow you always were.
you call him names constantly. idiot. loser. maniac. sometimes worse. you shove him away when he gets too close, roll your eyes when he says something stupid, tell him heâs insufferable like itâs a fact of nature.
he never takes it the way other people would.
he laughs.
like youâre doing exactly what he wants.
like the push is part of the game.
at some point, you realize he doesnât treat you like everyone else. not in a subtle way either. itâs obvious. deliberate. he leans into your space more than anyone elseâs, like heâs testing how far he can go before you actually mean it when you tell him to stop.
you always tell him to stop.
he never really does.
he sits next to you at bonfires even when there are other spots open. falls into step beside you when you walk ahead of the group. talks to you like youâre already listening before you even answer him. itâs constant, like heâs decided your attention is something heâs entitled to.
you push back the same way you always do. sharp words, sharp looks, distance where you can manage it. except it never really holds. he just fills it back in like it was never there.
sometimes he says things that land differently than they should.
âyouâd miss me if i left.â
âno, i wouldnât.â
âyeah, you would.â
you always answer like itâs nothing. like heâs nothing. but thereâs something about the way he looks at you when he says itâ like heâs not joking at allâŠsomething that you never quite figure out how to respond to.
you tell yourself it doesnât mean anything. itâs just jj being jj. loud, reckless, annoying in a way that somehow always circles back to you.
except it never really feels like nothing.
and the worst part is that he doesnât act like youâre someone heâs trying to impress.
he acts like youâre someone heâs already decided on.
like all your pushing, all your attitude, all your âget off me, maybankâ doesnât actually change anything about where he ends up standing next to you.
itâs never a question for him.
it just is.
you donât think about it too much. or at least, you try not to. itâs easier to keep things the way theyâve always been: him too close, you too sharp, everything balanced on tension neither of you name.
because naming it would mean admitting it exists.
and whatever this is between you and jj⊠feels like something youâre not fully in control of anymore, even when you act like you are.
itâs impossible to ignore jj, even when youâre trying your hardest to.
he doesnât move through the pogues like everyone else does. he doesnât blend into the background or settle into corners. he takes up space like it belongs to him by default, loud enough that the world either makes room or gets run over.
you usually fall into the second category.
it starts the same way every time: youâre mid-conversation with someoneâ kie, pope, john b, it doesnât matter and suddenly heâs there. not joining, not easing in. just arriving. shoulder bumping into yours hard enough that you feel it down your arm, laugh already halfway out of his mouth like heâs been in the joke the whole time.
âwhatâd i miss?â
he doesnât wait for an answer. he never does.
his hand is on you before your brain even registers itâ fingers wrapping around your wrist, your elbow, your waist, like heâs collecting you mid-thought and dragging you into whatever heâs decided is happening now.
ânope. come with me.â
âjj, what are youââ
âcome on.â
and somehow, annoyingly, you always ended up with him.
you shove him off constantly. itâs instinct at this point. palm to his chest, push to his shoulder, a sharp âget your fucking hands off me, maybankâ that never lands with enough force to actually mean anything.
he eats it up.
he loves it.
he laughs like youâre flirting instead of resisting, like your irritation is just another language heâs fluent in.
youâll roll your eyes so hard itâs almost a reflex.
jj doesnât do distance. not with you. not ever.
at bonfires, he sits too close on purpose. shoulder pressed into yours like heâs testing how long it takes before you push him away again. when you finally do, he just shifts back in immediately, like your rejection is part of the rhythm.
âyouâre really bad at getting rid of me,â he murmurs once, grin sharp in the firelight.
âyouâre really bad at reading fucking social cues,â you shoot back.
he just laughs louder.
heâs louder about everything, actually.
when he talks to you, itâs never just talkingâ itâs leaning in, voice dropping like heâs letting you in on something no one else is allowed to hear. his fingers brushing your arm mid-sentence. his knee knocking into yours under the table like he canât sit still unless heâs touching you in some way.
sometimes he doesnât even pretend itâs accidental.
heâll grab your hand just to pull you through a crowd, holding on longer than necessary. not letting go right away when the space clears. like he forgets he was supposed to.
like he wants to forget.
you tell him to stop. you always tell him to stop.
but you never sound like you mean it enough to actually make him listen.
âyouâre obsessed with me,â he says once, completely unprovoked, like itâs just a fact heâs decided on mid-conversation.
you scoff. âare you fucking delusional.â
he leans in so close your breath catches for half a second before you shove him back.
he laughs into your space anyway. âyou didnât say no.â
thatâs the thing with himâ he doesnât wait for permission, and he doesnât take rejection seriously unless you make it impossible not to.
because even when youâre pushing him away, thereâs something about the way he looks at you that makes it feel like heâs already won something you didnât realize was being played for.
his attention is constant. heavy. impossible to ignore.
you can feel it when heâs not even speakingâjust watching you from across the fire, or from the back of the boat, or standing too close behind you while pretending to talk to someone else.
itâs never subtle.
jj doesnât do subtle.
he does intimate in a way that doesnât ask permission to be that way.
heâll lean in while youâre talking and cut you off mid-sentence just to fix your hair out of your face like itâs nothing. like it doesnât mean anything. like his fingers lingering near your cheek for half a second longer than necessary is just part of being jj maybank.
you always push him away after.
he always comes right back.
like itâs automatic.
like youâre a magnet he refuses to admit heâs already stuck to.
and somewhere in all of itâthe pushing, the yelling, the eye rolls that never actually stop himâyou realize heâs not treating you like someone heâs trying to get.
heâs treating you like someone he already has.
you just havenât agreed yet.
it doesnât happen all at once. itâs gradual in a way that almost slips past you if youâre not paying attention.
but jj never does anything halfway.
jj starts getting bolder with you in a way that stops feeling like accident and starts feeling like intention heâs no longer bothering to hide.
his hand stays on your waist longer than it should when he pulls you through a crowdâ fingers pressing in just enough that you can feel the weight of him there even after he lets go. he doesnât rush to create distance anymore. sometimes he just⊠forgets to. or acts like he does.
heâll lean in while youâre talking to someone else and brush your hair back from your face like it belongs to him to fix. thumb grazing your cheek for half a second too long before he drops his hand like nothing happened.
you always react the same way.
you shove him off. you tell him to stop. you glare at him like itâs supposed to mean something sharp enough to cut through him.
and he just smiles.
not the usual loud grin. something quieter now. more knowing.
like heâs collecting reactions instead of attention.
his voice starts showing up in your space before the rest of him does.
low, too close to your ear when no one else is listening.
âyouâre acting like that on purpose.â
you donât look at him. âacting like what?â
âlike you donât care.â
your jaw tightens before you can stop it. âi donât.â
he hums like he doesnât believe you. like itâs not even worth arguing about yet.
and then he walks away like he didnât just leave something hanging between you.
itâs not just physical anymore.
itâs timing.
jj starts noticing things he never used to comment on out loud.
the way you donât immediately shove him off anymore when he touches your wrist. the way you let him stand closer for a few extra seconds before reacting. the way your eyes track him more than you realize when other girls talk to him.
especially that.
itâs subtle at firstâyour reaction.
a look that lingers too long when someone else leans into him at a party. a sharper tone when you interrupt conversations you used to ignore. a hand that pushes him harder when you pretend itâs just annoyance.
he notices all of it.
he always notices.
and instead of pulling back, he leans into it harder.
because now it feels like heâs getting somewhere.
one night, he slips.
youâre sitting too close on the hood of someoneâs car, music too loud, everything glowing too orange under streetlights and bonfire light. heâs half turned toward you, shoulder pressed into yours like itâs been there the whole time.
you shove him lightly when he knocks your knee with his.
âyouâre so irritating.â
he laughs, but itâs different now. less performative.
his hand lands on your waist againâsteady, familiar, like heâs done it a thousand times and finally stopped asking himself if he should.
you donât move away immediately.
thatâs new.
jj feels it.
you feel it too, a second later, and you shift like youâre correcting yourself, pushing his hand off harder than necessary like youâre trying to erase the fact that you didnât react fast enough.
his eyes catch on that.
he tilts his head slightly, like heâs studying you now instead of joking with you.
and then he says it.
casual. almost lazy. like heâs just testing a theory out loud.
âyou donât mean any of that, you know.â
your eyes narrow instantly. âmean what?â
he leans in just enough that his voice drops into something only you can hear.
âall that attitude.â
thereâs a pause after that.
small, but heavy enough that it feels like everything around you dulls for half a second. the fire still crackles, someone still laughs somewhere behind you, the music still thumps through the sand⊠but none of it really lands.
just him.
just the way heâs looking at you like he already knows what youâre going to do next.
you donât answer fast enough.
and thatâs all it takes.
he catches it immediately. of course he does.
thereâs a shift in his faceâ not surprise, not even satisfaction exactly. something quieter. like interest sharpening into something more deliberate. like heâs just confirmed something heâs been thinking about for a while.
you feel it too late.
so you fix it.
too quickly.
you shove his shoulder like it burns to leave it there a second longer than usual, stepping back into your usual rhythm like you can physically rewind what just happened.
âyouâre actually delusional,â you say, too light, too practiced.
jj doesnât move to follow you this time.
he just tilts his head slightly, eyes fixed on you like youâve become the only thing in the noise worth paying attention to.
and suddenly it doesnât feel like youâre pushing him away anymore.
it feels like youâre trying to catch up to the fact that heâs already inside your space.
it starts at john bâs chateau, already too loud before anyoneâs even left.
the place is packed in that familiar wayâ music spilling out through open doors, drinks left half-finished on every surface, everyone half-dressed and half-ready like getting to the bonfire is just an excuse for whatâs happening here first.
youâre already irritated when you arrive.
you donât know if itâs the heat sticking to your skin, or the way everything feels slightly too bright, or the fact that youâre a little more tipsy than you meant to be before the night has even properly started. whatever it is, it makes everything sharper at the edges. louder. more noticeable.
itâs hot inside, the kind of heat that sticks to your skin and makes everything feel slightly unrealâ like youâre moving through the night a little out of sync with yourself.
youâre already not quite in your usual rhythm.
not obviously drunk. not gone. just a little looser than you meant to be. a couple shots you didnât really think about taking, one after the other, because it felt easier than standing around in your own head.
enough that the edges of things blur a little.
enough that you notice everything more.
especially him.
jj doesnât say anything to you when you walk in.
thatâs the first thing you notice.
not a joke, not your name, not a âwhatâs upâ thrown across the room like usual. nothing.
just a look.
quick, like itâs casual.
but it sticks.
you donât think much of it at first. you move through the house, take a shot someone hands you, lean against the counter like youâre just there to exist in the background of everything else. but even when youâre not looking at him, you feel it.
his stare.
every time you turn your head slightly, heâs there in your peripheryâ watching, not interrupting, not stepping in yet. just⊠tracking you like heâs waiting for something to change.
it doesnât.
so you stop thinking about it.
or try to.
you end up near the kitchen again later, half away from everyone else, drink in hand, shoulders slightly looser than usual. someone says something behind you and you donât even really turn to respond.
youâre facing the counter when it happens.
you feel him before you see him.
then his hand is on your waist.
not grabbing. not rough.
just thereâ firm, certain.
he turns you.
not fully, not dramatically. just enough that youâre facing him now instead of the counter, like heâs repositioning you mid-conversation he hasnât even started yet.
your reaction is automatic.
âwhatâ jj, what are you doing?â
but the words die on the edge of your voice.
because heâs already taken the drink from your hand.
you blink. âoh my god, are you serious?â
heâs holding it now, just out of reach, arm slightly raised like he already knows exactly what youâre going to do next.
you reach immediately anyway.
he shifts it back.
you follow it without thinking, spinning slightly with the motion, hair slipping over your shoulder as you try again.
âgive it back,â you snap.
he doesnât.
not yet.
he just watches you like youâre the only thing moving in the room.
you stop reaching and glare at him instead. âyouâre not funny.â
he exhales a quiet laugh, but it doesnât fully land.
thereâs a pause after it.
not long.
just enough.
his hand is still holding your drink. his other hand hovers near your waist again like itâs decided it belongs there.
when he speaks, his voice is lower than itâs been all night.
âyouâve been ignoring me since you got here,â he says.
you scoff immediately. âiâve been literally right here, jj.â
his eyes donât move off you.
âyeah,â he says. âi know.â
that makes you pause.
just for a second.
the room is still loud behind him, but it feels distant now. like itâs happening somewhere else entirely.
you shift your weight slightly, crossing your arms. âso what, youâre keeping tabs now?â
that gets something out of himâ a small change in his expression, not quite a smile, not quite irritation.
something in between.
he steps closer instead of answering.
you notice that immediately.
your back ends up against the counter without you really deciding it. it just happens as he closes the space between you, not touching yet, but close enough that you feel it everywhere anyway.
his hand comes up again.
this time he doesnât hesitate.
he turns your waist slightly, like before, but slower now. more deliberate. making sure youâre fully facing him.
no distractions.
just you and him in the middle of everything else.
he finally lowers the drinkâ not giving it back yet, just holding it at his side now.
and when he looks at you again, itâs not playful anymore.
not fully.
âyouâve been doing that thing all night,â he says quietly.
you tilt your head. âwhat thing?â
his gaze flicks briefly to your mouth before coming back up.
âacting like iâm not here.â
you let out a short, sharp laugh. âare you crazy.â
itâs automatic. defensive. familiar.
but it doesnât move him like it usually does.
he just looks at you like heâs already too close to back out of anything now.
and then he leans in.
not fast. not sudden.
just inevitable.
his hand tightens slightly at your waist like itâs anchoring him there as the space between you disappears.
your breath catches before you can stop it.
you donât move away.
not immediately.
and thatâs the problem.
jj notices.
of course he does.
heâs close enough now that you can feel itâ his breath, the heat, the pause before something crosses a line neither of you has actually stepped over yet.
his eyes drop to your mouth.
and for a second, it feels like heâs actually going to.
like heâs not joking anymore.
like there isnât a room full of people behind him.
like there isnât anything except this.
your chest tightens.
and thenâ
you ruin it.
you let out a breathy, dismissive laugh, turning your face just slightly at the last second like itâs nothing, like itâs ridiculous.
âdonât be weird, maybank.â
you shove his shoulder lightly to break the moment, forcing space back between you like you can reset it.
âyouâre actually so annoying.â
it comes out sharp. practiced. easy.
like always.
jj doesnât laugh right away.
thereâs a flicker.
just for a second.
irritationâ small, quick, real.
then itâs gone.
he exhales, lets the smirk slide back into place like armor.
âyeah?â he says lightly, stepping back just enough to look like heâs fine again. âwhatever.â
but his hand doesnât drop from your waist immediately.
not like it used to.
he hasnât talked to you since john bâs.
not really.
not the way he usually does, anyway. no leaning into your space with some stupid comment, no hand on your waist like itâs instinct, no low voice in your ear acting like youâre the only person in the room worth talking to.
just⊠nothing.
and it shouldnât feel like anything.
it should be a relief, if anything.
thatâs what you tell yourself.
the boneyard is already loud when you get there, bonfire roaring high, bass shaking the sand, bodies moving in and out of firelight like nothing belongs to anyone for very long.
you should feel normal in it.
you donât.
jj is there before you even properly settle into the crowd.
of course he is.
you see him across the fire, bottle in hand, laughing with someone, shoulders loose, completely at ease. not looking for you. not checking for you. just there in a way that feels⊠unfamiliar.
like the space he usually fills around you has been redirected somewhere else.
you donât say anything at first.
you just watch.
âhe hasnât talked to you all night,â sarah says beside you, like sheâs testing the air.
âgood,â you answer immediately.
john b glances between you and jj. âthat doesnât sound like âgoodâ.â
âit is good,â you say. âitâs peaceful.â
kie tilts her head slightly. âyouâre watching him.â
âiâm not watching him.â
âyou havenât blinked in like ten seconds,â pope adds.
you finally look away. âyou guys are imagining things.â
sarah hums. âokay, but youâre also downing drinks like he personally offended you.â
you take another sip just to prove a point. âiâm not doing anything weird.â
john b gestures vaguely at the fire. âyouâre doing that thing where you pretend you donât care but youâre actively tracking him across the entire beach.â
âi donât care.â
âyou care,â sarah says again, quieter this time.
you scoff. âi hate him.â
that part lands differently.
thereâs a beat.
kie raises a brow. âyou hate him⊠but youâre spiraling because heâs not talking to you?â
âiâm not spiraling.â
âyou are,â pope says.
âiâm literally fine.â
you grab another drink before anyone can keep going.
sarah watches you for a second. âyouâre weird about him.â
you snap your head toward her. âiâm not weird about him.â
john b leans in slightly, squinting. âyou hate when he talks to you.â
âyes.â
âyou hate when he breathes near you,â kie adds.
âcorrect.â
âyou hate when he touches you,â sarah finishes.
âabsolutely.â
thereâs a pause.
pope looks between all of you. âso why are you mad heâs not doing any of that right now?â
you open your mouth.
close it again.
because thatâs the thing.
you donât have an answer that doesnât sound stupid.
so you default to what you always do.
âiâm not mad,â you say sharply. âi just donât like him acting weird.â
âheâs not acting weird,â john b says.
you finally look back across the fire.
heâs still there.
still laughing.
still not looking at you.
something in your chest tightens anyway.
you take another drink.
then another.
âi need a new one,â you say, already moving.
kie calls after you, âyouâre gonna get sickââ
âiâm fine,â you cut in again, not looking back.
youâre not looking at them anymore.
youâre looking at him.
and this time, the irritation doesnât feel clean.
it feels louder.
heavier.
like something you canât quite name yet, but can definitely feel starting to shift.
youâre still watching him when it happens.
he isnât looking at you.
thatâs the first thing that feels wrong.
heâs still with the same girlâ closer now, bodies angled toward each other in a way that stops feeling like conversation and starts feeling like something else entirely. her hand is on his arm again, and this time he doesnât shift away.
you donât realize youâve stopped talking until someone bumps your shoulder.
âhey,â some guy says, leaning into your space like he thinks heâs being smooth. âyou been here long?â
you blink at him like heâs speaking a different language.
âno,â you say flatly.
he smiles anyway. âyou want a drink?â
you already have one.
or maybe two.
you donât remember.
âiâm good,â you say.
he doesnât move.
you sigh, sharper now. âi said iâm good.â
he laughs like thatâs cute instead of a warning sign. âyou donât have to be a bitch about it.â
that does it.
you turn your head fully toward him, expression blank. âi actually do.â
he hesitates.
you donât.
âgo away.â
he finally backs off, muttering something under his breath.
you roll your eyes too hard.
and thatâs when you see it.
jj and the girl arenât just talking anymore.
theyâre kissing.
itâs not subtle. not unclear. not something you can talk yourself out of seeing.
itâs real.
your stomach drops so fast it feels physical.
for a second, you just stare like your brain hasnât caught up yet.
then it does.
and everything tightens.
you donât say anything.
you donât even move at first.
you just turn.
and walk.
you push through the crowd fast, shoulders cutting through bodies, ignoring someone calling your name behind you.
you find your group near the edge of the fire.
sarah looks at your face first.
âoh no,â she says instantly.
âdonât,â john b starts, already bracing.
kie shakes her head. ânope. she saw.â
âwhat is he doing?â you say immediately, not even slowing down. âwhat is he actually fucking doing right now?â
you point behind you like theyâre supposed to understand the exact level of disrespect youâre talking about.
john b glances over your shoulder, then back. âtalking to someone?â
âheâs making out with her,â you snap.
silence.
pope slowly goes, âso...â
sarah winces. âokayâŠâ
you stare at them like theyâre missing something obvious. âwhat the fuck is that supposed to be?â
kie raises a brow carefully. âwhat do you want him to do?â
that hits something in you wrong.
âwhat do i want him to do?â you repeat. ânot that.â
john b exhales. âhe didnât do anything to you.â
you laugh, sharp and disbelieving. âare you serious right now?â
âyou literally hate when he talks to you,â sarah says cautiously. âyou hate when he breathes near you.â
âyeah,â you say instantly. âi do.â
âso whatâs the problem?â pope asks, confused.
thatâs it.
thatâs the question that does it.
your jaw tightens.
you look back across the fire again.
still there.
still her.
still not looking at you.
something in your chest snaps.
âi donât have time for this,â you say suddenly.
âheyââ kie starts.
but youâre already gone.
you donât hear them call after you this time.
you donât stop.
you reach him in seconds.
grab his shirt hard.
pull him away from her.
not gentle. not subtle.
he follows easily, like he was already half expecting it.
âwhat?â he says, amused already.
you donât answer until youâve got enough space between you and everyone else.
then you spin on him.
âwow,â you say, voice sharp. âtook you long enough to find someone desperate enough.â
he blinks once.
then laughs.
not loud.
not like before.
something slower.
like heâs not surprised youâre here at all.
that throws you off for half a second.
you were expecting him to snap back instantly. to match your energy. to turn this into what it always becomes between you.
he doesnât.
he just leans back slightly, hands loosely at his sides, completely unbothered.
âyou done?â he asks.
you stare at him.
ââŠwhat?â
his mouth quirks.
not a smile you recognize.
something more controlled.
âyou always talk like that when youâre mad,â he says. âlike itâs supposed to change something.â
your jaw tightens.
âare you serious right now?â
he tilts his head slightly.
he looks⊠different.
not chasing you.
not leaning in.
not trying to fill your space.
just watching you like he already knows exactly why youâre here.
and heâs not moving for it.
you scoff, sharp and disbelieving. âso thatâs it? you just ignore me all night and then go make out with someone in front of me?â
his eyebrows lift slightly.
âyou ignored me first,â he says.
that lands wrong.
worse than you want it to.
you step closer before you can stop yourself. âi didnât ignore you.â
he doesnât step back.
doesnât lean in either.
just lets you come to him.
thatâs new.
âyouâve been doing it for weeks,â he adds.
your laugh comes out quick and bitter. âoh my god. are you keeping score now?â
he exhales through his nose, almost amused.
âno,â he says. âi just stopped playing your game.â
that shuts you up for half a beat.
just one.
then your defenses snap back into place.
âmy game?â you repeat. âyouâre insane.â
he nods once, slow.
like heâs agreeing, but not really.
âyeah,â he says. âthatâs what you always say when you donât like whatâs happening.â
you stare at him.
really stare.
waiting for the jj you know to show upâ the one who laughs it off, who leans in, who pushes right back so you can keep pretending nothing ever means anything.
but he doesnât.
he just looks at you like heâs waiting for you to either continue⊠or realize something.
and for the first time tonight, you donât know which one youâre supposed to do.
the air between you doesnât move the way it used to.
it doesnât snap back into teasing. doesnât bend into sarcasm. doesnât soften when you shove him, when you glare at him, when you try to turn this into something you can control again.
jj just stands there.
still.
not stepping back.
not stepping forward.
just watching you like heâs finally stopped reacting and started deciding.
you tighten your grip on his shirt again out of instinct, like if you hold on harder you can drag him back into the version of this that makes sense.
âare you done?â you snap.
he doesnât even blink.
then he steps closer.
not into your space like beforeâ like heâs chasing youâ
but into it like it already belongs to him.
your hand drops from his shirt without you meaning to.
that alone throws you.
his voice comes low.
controlled.
not angry.
not loud.
just certain.
âfunny,â he says. âyou never cared before.â
you scoff immediately, but it comes out sharper than you mean it to. âi donât care.â
he tilts his head slightly, like heâs listening to something you didnât realize you were saying.
âyeah,â he says quietly. âthatâs what you always say.â
you take a step back on instinct.
he doesnât let the distance matter.
not even a little.
you turn like youâre done with himâ like youâre going to walk away, reset this, end it on your terms.
his hand catches your wrist.
not tight.
not forceful.
just enough.
enough that you stop.
you look down at it immediately, then back up at him.
âdonât,â you warn.
he doesnât let go.
instead, he turns you around in one motion so now that you back is against the tree he was just in front of.
itâs just you and him now.
and he knows it.
he doesnât crowd you all at once.
he takes his time with it.
one hand comes upâ not grabbing, not forcing, just bracing lightly near your shoulder against the tree, stopping you from slipping out of frame again. his other hand finds your wrist again, not pulling, just holding it there long enough that you stop trying to pretend youâre leaving.
you hate how fast your body listens.
he exhales through his nose like youâre still arguing from a distance you donât have anymore.
âyou keep doing this,â he says.
your eyes narrow instantly. âdoing what?â
his gaze doesnât move off you.
âacting like none of this matters,â he says.
a beat.
then, softerâ
âlike i donât matter.â
that lands wrong.
too clean.
too direct.
your breath catches before you can stop it, and you hate that he sees it.
you try to recover immediately. âyou donât get to decide what iââ
âno,â he cuts in.
not loud.
not harsh.
just final enough that it stops you.
his hand at your wrist loosens slightlyânot letting go, just shifting like heâs choosing not to hold you there by force, only by attention.
that somehow feels worse.
you can't help, but roll your eyes and turn your head away from him in annoyance since you can't believe you're having this conversation with him right now.
his other hand comes up again, faster this time, and instead of touching your chin like a claim, he lightly angles your face toward him just enough that you canât keep looking away without making it obvious.
itâs not possession.
itâs focus.
like heâs forcing you to stay in the moment you keep trying to outrun.
âyou like it when iâm all over you,â he says again, quieter now, stripped of any joke that used to live in it. âjust not when it means something.â
your silences causes him to lean in just enough that the space between you stops being optional. just close enough that your brain has to start accounting for him.
âyou look annoyed,â he says.
you glare. âi am annoyed.â
âno,â he corrects easily. âyouâre offended.â
you laugh once, sharp. âare you psychoanalyzing me right now?â
he tilts his head.
that cocky, lazy confidence settles in fully nowâ the version of him that doesnât ask, doesnât guess, just decides.
âi donât have to,â he says. âyouâre kinda obvious when youâre mad.â
you roll your eyes. âyouâre not that important.â
that one lands differently.
he pauses.
then laughs under his breath, like youâve just told a joke heâs heard before and already knows the ending to.
âyeah?â he says. âthen why are you here?â
silence.
you hate that itâs there.
you open your mouth.
nothing useful comes out.
he notices immediately.
of course he does.
his smile sharpens slightlyâ not warm, not soft.
cocky.
certain.
âthatâs what i thought,â he says quietly.
your expression hardens. âyouâre unbelievable.â
âyou keep saying that,â he replies. âyet you you're the one that came to me.â
your breath catchesâ just slightly.
you cover it fast.
too fast.
you try to step past him.
he shiftsâ not blocking you, not grabbing you, just moving enough that you stop anyway, because thereâs no clean way through him without brushing him.
like he already accounted for it.
âmove,â you say.
he doesnât.
just looks at you like youâre cute for trying.
âyou gonna go back over there?â he asks, nodding loosely toward the fire.
you donât answer.
he clicks his tongue softly.
âright,â he says. âbecause that went well for you.â
the silence between you isnât loud, but itâs heavy enough to feel like itâs pressing into your ribs.
not the kind that comes before an argument anymore.
the kind that comes after something has already shifted.
heâs still there in front of you, close enough that you can feel the warmth of him cutting through the night air, close enough that itâs starting to feel impossible to pretend this is just another one of your fights.
and heâs looking at you like heâs waiting.
not for you to yell.
not for you to shove him.
just for you to be honest.
you hate that you notice that.
you hate even more that your next words donât come out the way theyâre supposed to.
âyouâre seriously acting like this over some girl?â you say.
itâs meant to land sharp.
it doesnât.
it comes out thinner. tighter around the edges. like something you didnât fully mean to admit.
jj doesnât respond right away.
thatâs what makes it worse.
his gaze shiftsâslow, deliberate like heâs turning that sentence over in his head instead of reacting to it.
âsome girl,â he repeats quietly.
you roll your eyes fast, trying to recover it. âdonât start.â
but itâs already cracked.
he sees it.
of course he does.
his head tilts slightly, that cocky edge still there, but dulled just enough to make it feel more real.
âthat what this is?â he asks. âyou mad about some girl?â
you scoff immediately, too fast. âiâm not mad.â
âyou are,â he says simply.
you take a breath like youâre about to bite back again.
but it doesnât come out clean this time.
âyou were literallyââ you start, then stop, jaw tightening like you can force the sentence to behave. âyou were all over her.â
jj watches you struggle through it.
and something in his expression shifts.
not fully soft.
but less sharp.
like heâs finally stopped pushing and started listening.
âyeah,â he says, slower now. âand?â
that gets you.
you blink at him.
once.
twice.
like youâre trying to find the version of him that wouldâve said that as a joke.
itâs not there.
your voice drops without you meaning it to. âand? are you serious right now?â
he shrugs slightly.
calm.
too calm.
âi was talking to her,â he says. âsame way i talk to everyone else.â
your laugh comes out immediately, but itâs wrong. off. âdonât do that.â
âdo what?â
âact stupid.â
he exhales through his nose, like youâre exhausting him in a way that isnât annoying anymore, just real.
âiâm not acting stupid,â he says. âyouâre just not saying what you actually mean.â
that hits quieter than anything else.
you go still.
for a second, you forget to be angry.
forget to be sharp.
forget to be anything except standing there with him looking at you like heâs already figured you out.
you try anyway.
one last push.
âi donât care who you talk to,â you say.
but it doesnât hold.
it wobbles at the end.
jj notices instantly.
his eyes narrow slightly not in anger.
in understanding.
like thatâs the exact crack he was waiting for.
âno?â he says softly.
and there it is.
the problem.
you hesitate.
just long enough.
just honest enough.
and itâs enough for him to see straight through it.
your mouth opens again, but nothing comes out fast enough to fix it.
your shoulders drop slightly like your body gives up before your pride does.
and for the first time all nightâ
you donât look like youâre fighting him anymore.
you look like youâre trying not to admit something you already have.
the air doesnât clear after that.
it gets heavier.
like everything youâve been trying not to say is just sitting between you now, fully formed, waiting for one of you to finally do something about it.
youâre still standing there.
still too close.
still looking at jj fucking maybank like heâs the problem and the answer at the same time.
your chest rises a little too fast. your jaw is tight like itâs holding back every thought you donât want him to hear.
and heâs just watching you.
not pushing.
not teasing.
just⊠waiting.
like he already knows where this is going.
âsay it,â he says quietly.
you blink. âsay what.â
his mouth twitches. âwhatever youâre trying not to.â
that hits wrong.
because you donât have a clean answer for it.
you take a step forward instead of answering.
then another.
until thereâs barely anything left between you.
âyouâre so annoying,â you say, but itâs weaker than before. less bite. more breath.
he exhales a soft laugh through his nose. âyeah, youâve said that like ten times tonight.â
your eyes flick down for half a second, then back up.
âbecause itâs true.â
âno,â he says, calmer now. âitâs what you say when you donât know what else to do with me.â
that lands.
too clean.
too accurate.
you hate that your expression shifts before you can stop it.
just a flicker.
jj sees it instantly.
of course he does.
his gaze drops to your mouth for a secondâ quick, controlled, then comes back up like heâs deciding something heâs been avoiding all night.
the silence stretches.
and this time, it doesnât feel like distance.
it feels like pressure.
you swallow once.
âyou think youâve got me figured out?â you ask, but thereâs no edge left in it.
he steps in slightly.
not enough to crowd you.
just enough that you feel it everywhere anyway.
âi think,â he says quietly, âyouâve been standing here waiting for me to stop joking.â
that does it.
something in your face breaks, not dramatically, not neatly.
just enough that you stop pretending.
your breath catches.
your hands flex at your sides like you donât know where to put them anymore.
âyouâre insufferable,â you say again.
but thereâs no conviction in it now.
he notices that too.
his voice drops.
softer.
âyeah,â he says. âbut then again, youâre still here, ainât ya.â
thatâs the moment it tips.
not loud.
not explosive.
just final.
he was about to say something again, but you move before you can think about it properlyâ before you can rebuild the wall youâve been holding up all night.
right as whatever bullshit was going to leave his mouth, you grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him toward you. it wasn't gentle and you intended it to be that way. but his breath felt sharp against your lips as his lips crashed into yours.
for a second, he didn't move.
like even he didnât fully expect you to cross the line first.
his eyes flick to yoursâ quick, sharp, searching.
and then something shifts.
not surprise anymore.
not teasing.
something focused.
controlled.
his hands came up as if it were instinct, placing his hands against your waist as he kissed you back, with the same intensity, like he was about to lose this moment.
and when you pulled back to say a snarky comment, his eyes were holding yours with something deeper.
he grabbed your face again so that your back is completely aligned against the tree and smashes his lips onto yours.
jj breaks for half a second, just long enough to look at you properly, like heâs checking if youâre still there with him in it. his breath is uneven when he speaks, low enough that it barely carries over the noise behind you.
âyou donât get to do that,â he says, voice rougher now, but still controlled.
you blink at him, breath caught somewhere between anger and something else you donât want to name. âdo what?â
âpull me in like that,â he says quietly, âand then act like it means nothing.â
that lands differently now.
because heâs not teasing you anymore.
heâs not guessing.
heâs looking at you like he already knows exactly what youâve been doing all night and heâs done letting you pretend it wasnât on purpose.
you donât answer fast enough and your lips are connected once more.
he doesnât rush it, so this time, itâs slower.
jjâs hands are on your waist as you cup his sharp jawline with your hands. your lips are moving in such synchrony that you started to question if this moment was even real.
you lean into the kiss before you can even realize and your hands move to the back of his neck as if this was an reoccurring moment. he notices it, again, but doesnât say anything until he fully takes in the moment heâs been waiting for.
he pulls away, his voice comes low, rough at the edges when he finally speaks.
âyouâre still gonna act like you donât feel that?â
itâs not teasing.
not fully.
itâs a challenge, but softer than before like he already knows the answer and is just waiting for you to admit it out loud.
your throat tightens, and for once, you donât have something sharp ready immediately. that alone feels like a loss of control you donât know how to get back.
he notices.
of course he does.
a faint, almost invisible curve hits his mouth, not quite a smile, more like recognition.
âyeah,â he murmurs, like heâs confirming something to himself now, âthatâs what i thought.â
and when he leans in again, it isnât hesitation anymore.
itâs not a question.
itâs just the continuation of something neither of you are pretending is accidental now.
the walk back from the edge of the beach feels different in a way you donât have a clean word for.
the fire is louder again, closer now, and the boneyard has fully swallowed you back into its noise and movement, like nothing important just rewrote itself between you and didnât bother telling anyone else.
youâre not thinking about that too hard.
youâre mostly just aware of the fact that your hand is still on him.
not gripping, not clingingâ just there, curled lightly around his arm like itâs where it ended up without permission from your pride.
he glances down at it once like he notices, but he doesnât say anything. of course he doesnât.
he just adjusts his pace slightly so you donât have to let go.
which is worse, somehow.
you roll your eyes immediately, because itâs safer than acknowledging anything else. âdonât get used to this.â
he hums under his breath, amused. âyou say that like youâre not the one holding me.â
âiâm walking,â you correct instantly.
âmm,â he says. âsure.â
you tug lightly at his arm like that settles it, but you donât let go.
when you finally reach the others, itâs immediate noise again.
john b is mid-sentence, kie is laughing at something sarah just said, and pope is shaking his head like heâs already tired of whatever storyâs being told. itâs normal. too normal.
for half a second, you think you can just slip back into it.
you even start to step away from jj, like youâre going to go sit across from him the way you always wouldâ like nothingâs changed positionally, like the world didnât subtly rearrange itself an hour ago.
you donât get far.
his hand catches you.
not your wrist this time.
your waist.
easy. practiced. like heâs done it without thinking.
and suddenly youâre pulled back into him as he drops down against a fallen log near the fire, settling in like he already decided where youâre sitting is no longer up for debate.
you let out a sharp breath immediately. âjj.â
he doesnât even look at you when he answers. âwhat.â
âmove.â
âno.â
you glare at him, twisting slightly in his hold like youâre going to argue harder, but he just tightens his grip a fractionânot restraining you, just keeping you exactly where you are like itâs the most obvious thing in the world.
you scoff. âyouâre unbelievable.â
âyouâre sitting on me,â he points out casually.
you look over your shoulder at him like thatâs the most offensive thing he couldâve said all night. âi was about to sit over there.â
âand then you didnât,â he says simply.
that earns a reaction from the group immediately.
sarah is the first one to notice, eyes lighting up. âoh my god.â
kie leans forward, already grinning. âno way.â
john b laughs under his breath. âare you guys serious right now?â
pope just shakes his head like heâs witnessing something he does not have the energy to process.
you straighten instantly, pointing at them like youâre the only sane one here. âthis is notâdonât start.â
jj, unfortunately, does start.
he leans back slightly against the log, completely unbothered, one arm still resting around your waist like itâs the most natural thing in the world.
âwhat?â he says innocently. âshe likes this spot.â
your head snaps toward him immediately. âi do not.â
he glances at you now, slow, amused. âyouâre still here.â
âi havenât moved yet,â you shoot back.
âsame thing,â he says.
that gets laughter from the group.
you turn your head forward again, jaw tight, but you donât actually move out of his hold.
sarah is fully grinning now. âyou guys are disgusting.â
âweâre not anything,â you say immediately.
jj leans in slightly like heâs about to whisper something just for you, but he says it loud enough for everyone to hear anyway.
âsheâs just mad she lost an argument.â
you elbow him instantly. âi didnât lose anything.â
he catches your arm easily this time, stopping it mid-motion, but againâno force. just control. just familiarity.
âyouâre still in my lap,â he reminds you.
âi hate you,â you say flatly.
he smiles like thatâs the funniest thing heâs heard all night.
âno you donât,â he says.
and the worst part isâ
he says it like he actually believes it.
like itâs not even up for debate anymore.
and you donât have a clean answer fast enough to prove him wrong.
pairingsáŻâŠâË ex bsf!jj maybank x kook!fem!reader
summaryáŻâŠâË you donât talk anymore. you just keep finding each other anyway.
word countáŻâŠâË ~4.2k
warningsáŻâŠâË none!
authors note: áŻâŠâË this is going to be a series. iâve never really written one like this before, so iâm kind of just letting it unfold as i go instead of planning everything too tightly.
positive feedback is always really appreciated, it genuinely helps keep me motivated while i write. and if you have any thoughts, predictions, or even ideas on where youâd like the story to go or how you want it to end, feel free to share them in the commentsâiâd love to hear it :)
thank you for reading <3
you can feel the heat before you even step out of the car, thick and slow like itâs settled over the entire island just for today. midsummers always feels like that heavy, expectant, like everything is waiting to be seen.
your heels sink slightly into the grass the second you step forward, soft enough to remind you this isnât as effortless as itâs supposed to look. but you donât falter. you never do. your shoulders stay straight, chin lifted just enough, every movement practiced without ever having to think about it.
itâs almost blindingâthe way the sunlight hits linen and silk and lace, the way it reflects off champagne glasses and polished jewelry. girls in flowing dresses drift past like something out of a dream, their laughter light and easy, like nothing in the world has ever touched them. men stand in neat clusters, sleeves rolled just enough to look casual without ever being careless.
everything is intentional.
everything is perfect.
and you fit into it seamlessly.
your dress is exactly what itâs supposed to beâlight, soft, expensive in a way that doesnât need to be announced. it moves with you when you walk, catching the breeze just right, brushing against your legs like it belongs there. like you belong here.
you know people are looking.
not staringânever that. itâs subtler. glances, double takes, the quiet kind of attention that lingers just a second too long before slipping away again. you offer small smiles when needed, nod in greeting when someone passes, let yourself be pulled briefly into conversations that never really say anything.
âyou look beautiful,â someone tells you.
you thank them, like you always do.
itâs easy. all of it is easy.
thatâs the problem.
because none of it reaches youânot really. the music drifts somewhere just out of focus, soft and airy, blending into the background of clinking glasses and low conversation. the air smells like salt and expensive perfume and something floral you canât quite place. it should feel nice. it should feel like something.
instead, it feels like standing inside a picture.
like if you stay still long enough, you might disappear into it completely.
you smooth your hands down the front of your dress, more out of habit than necessity, fingertips grazing fabric that doesnât wrinkle, doesnât shift, doesnât betray anything underneath. everything about you is exactly as it should be.
thatâs what today is for.
representing your family. smiling at the right people. being seen in the right way.
you know where to stand, who to talk to, when to laugh. you know how long to hold eye contact, how to excuse yourself without seeming rude, how to exist here without ever drawing the wrong kind of attention.
youâve been doing it long enough that it doesnât even feel like pretending anymore.
just⊠performing.
your gaze drifts out over the crowd, not searching for anything in particular, just something to anchor yourself to. the marina glints in the distance, water shifting in slow, lazy waves. a breeze moves through the crowd, lifting strands of hair, tugging gently at dresses, carrying the sound of laughter a little further than before.
itâs beautiful.
it always is.
and stillâ
you feel slightly out of place in your own skin, like youâre standing just a step removed from everything happening around you. like if someone looked close enough, theyâd notice itâthat disconnect, that quiet distance you keep tucked neatly behind practiced smiles and polite conversation.
but no one ever does.
they see what theyâre supposed to see.
and you give them exactly that.
you adjust the strap of your dress, inhale slowly, and step further into the crowd, letting it close around you like it always does.
like itâs where youâre meant to be.
even if it doesn't quite feel like it.
he doesnât belong here.
itâs obvious before anyone even really looks at him.
he cuts through the edge of the crowd like something that slipped past security: uninvited, unwanted, out of place in a way that doesnât try to hide itself. where everything else is soft and polished, heâs all rough edges. sunburnt skin, a shirt thatâs seen better days, salt dried into the fabric like he didnât bother rinsing it out. thereâs a cut split just at the edge of his lip, faintly scabbed over, and a darker bruise blooming along his cheekbone, half-hidden but not enough.
it clashes with everything.
the music doesnât stop. the laughter doesnât either. but thereâs a subtle shift, the kind you only notice if youâre paying attention. glances that linger a second too long, conversations that dip just slightly as he passes through. he ignores it. of course he does.
heâs not here for any of this.
just a job.
in and out.
thatâs what he keeps telling himself, anyway. like repetition makes it true.
his fingers tighten briefly around whatever john b shoved into his hand before sending him off, like holding it harder will make the rest of this easier to ignore. something for sarah. quick, simple, no detours, donât stay. like heâs ever been good at that last part.
still, he moves like he means it.
quick steps. eyes scanning. get it done, get gone.
except his attention keeps slipping in ways he doesnât approve of.
because thereâs you.
and his brain registers that fact before heâs ready for it to.
it doesnât feel like a pause. not really.
it feels like interruption.
like something inside him stutters without asking permission.
youâre across the lawn, half-turned in conversation, sunlight catching on the fabric of your dress in a way that almost makes it look unreal, like the world decided to overexpose you for no reason other than spite. everything about you fits hereâ too well. like you were made for this kind of setting, like youâve always been part of it. effortless. untouchable.
he knows better.
thatâs the problem.
because knowing better doesnât stop anything.
his gaze sticks, and he hates that it does, because it feels less like looking and more like getting caught. like his eyes forgot the rule theyâve been trying to follow all day.
he tries to move on.
he really does.
but his attention keeps snapping back like it doesnât trust him to leave it alone.
you laughing softly at something someone says.
you adjusting your dress like it doesnât matter.
you existing like you donât carry any weight at all.
and stillâ
because thatâs the contradiction, isnât it?
you look like you belong here more than anyone else, and somehow that makes it worse. like the version of you he remembers doesnât fit into this one without friction.
his jaw tightens before he can stop it, small enough that no one would notice unless they were already looking too closely. he tells himself to look away properly this time.
he doesnât.
that annoys him more than anything else.
he wasnât supposed to see you.
that wasnât part of this.
that thought should be simple enough to follow. it usually is.
except it isnât working.
for a second too long to be safe, his brain does something stupid and uninvited.
it rewrites you.
not as you are here.
but as something else entirely.
not clearer. not better.
just different.
you closer than you are now, like distance was never something that existed between you in the first place. the noise around him dulls in his head without actually stopping, like his attention has decided to abandon everything except the image itâs constructing.
itâs not even a full scene.
just fragments.
you turning toward him like youâve always been halfway there already.
him standing there like he was never supposed to leave in the first place.
something about it feels wrong immediately.
too easy. too clean. too much like something that would hurt more later if he let it stay.
he forces it down.
hard.
his grip on the paper tightens again like he can physically anchor himself back into whatâs real.
john b. sarah. leave.
he repeats it internally like itâs supposed to drown something else out.
it doesnât.
because you look up.
and itâs immediate.
not gentle. not hesitant.
like the distance between you gets noticed at the exact same time on both ends and neither of you had a chance to pretend otherwise.
there it is.
everything you didnât say.
everything he didnât let himself finish thinking.
not sitting between you like space.
sitting there like pressure.
the noise around you continues without caring, music, voices, glasses clinking, but it all starts to feel slightly misaligned, like the world is happening a fraction too far away to be fully involved.
you donât smile.
he doesnât either.
but his expression shifts anyway, barely, almost annoyingly so, like his face doesnât fully agree with him anymore.
his eyes flick over you once, not slow enough to be considered anything soft, not quick enough to pretend it means nothing. he registers the dress, the posture, the version of you that exists here like it was always meant to.
and then something in him misfires again, smaller this time but sharper.
not admiration.
not even recognition in the usual sense.
more like his brain trying and failing to reconcile two versions of the same person without letting him choose which one is real.
he exhales once through his nose, controlled, like heâs trying to reset himself inside his own body.
he was only supposed to drop something off.
he wasnât supposed to feel anything about it.
but nowâ
now his thoughts keep doing that thing again, where they refuse to stay where he puts them.
not fully forming.
just interrupting.
and he hates that most of all.
because it means leaving is no longer the only thing heâs struggling with.
it means staying just became a possibility he didnât agree to.
he doesnât move at first.
he tells himself itâs because heâs waiting for you to look away first. like itâs some kind of silent agreement youâre both supposed to understand without saying it out loud.
but you donât.
you stay right there, looking at him like the space between you didnât just collapse, it just finally stopped pretending it was empty.
and that does something to him.
something irritating.
something familiar.
his grip tightens on the paler again before he even realizes heâs doing it, knuckles pressing into the edges like he can physically keep himself from reacting. he should leave. he should absolutely leave.
instead, he hears himself speak.
âyou always just show up where youâre not supposed to be?â
it comes out flatter than he means it to. not sharp enough to be an attack, not soft enough to be anything else. just⊠him trying to sound normal inside something that is very clearly not.
thereâs a beat.
you donât react immediately.
and that pause is worse than if you had.
because it gives him time to notice everything againâtoo much at once.
the way the sun hits your shoulder like it belongs there.
the way your expression doesnât change when it should.
the way youâre standing close enough now that he canât pretend this is just visual anymore.
you tilt your head slightly.
not offended. not amused.
just observing him like heâs the one acting strange.
âi didnât know you were coming,â you say.
simple.
clean.
too calm.
he exhales once through his nose, a short, almost humorless sound.
âyeah,â he says. âthatâs kind of the point.â
it should end there.
it doesnât.
because you step slightly closer. not dramatically, not like youâre trying to close distance. just enough that the air between you shifts again.
and his brain does that thing again.
tries to fill in what isnât happening.
fails.
you in a different version of this moment. not midsummers. not noise. not people around you.
just you and him standing somewhere that doesnât exist anymore.
he hates that it comes so easily.
he hates more that part of him doesnât stop it fast enough.
âyou look⊠different,â you say then.
itâs not said like a compliment.
itâs not said like anything at all, really.
just fact.
his jaw tightens slightly.
âyeah,â he answers. âthings happen.â
thereâs a flicker in your expression at that, gone quickly, but not fast enough that he misses it.
something like acknowledgment.
or memory.
or both.
and suddenly itâs not just midsummers anymore in his head. itâs everything stacked on top of each other. the version of you before silence, the version of him before consequences, the version of this that never got a chance to settle into anything stable.
his thoughts try to go somewhere dangerous again.
they donât fully form.
just fragments.
you laughing too easily.
him thinking it didnât matter then.
him being wrong.
he forces his attention back to your face.
bad idea.
worse.
because now youâre looking at him like youâre waiting for something he hasnât said yet.
and he can feel it buildingâ pressure under his ribs, something unsaid trying to push its way out and immediately getting shoved back down.
he almost speaks.
almost.
but then someone brushes past behind you, close enough that the moment breaks slightly, like reality refusing to let it hold too long.
voices rise again.
music returns to the front of everything.
and it gives him the smallest excuse to reset.
he uses it.
quickly.
too quickly.
âiâve gottaââ he starts, lifting the package slightly like it explains everything.
he doesnât finish the sentence.
because you cut inânot loudly, not sharply.
just enough to interrupt him cleanly.
âyou were supposed to stay away.â
itâs not anger.
itâs not sadness either.
itâs just truth said too simply.
and that hits harder than anything else so far.
his eyes flick up to yours immediately.
and for a second, something in his expression shiftsâsomething unguarded trying to surface before he stops it.
he opens his mouth.
starts something.
something real.
it doesnât make it out.
instead, he exhales, looks away for half a second like heâs physically refusing the direction that thought was going.
âyeah,â he says instead, quieter. controlled again. âwell.â
thatâs it.
thatâs all he gives it.
and itâs not enough.
itâs never enough.
you hold his gaze a moment longer than necessary, like youâre waiting to see if heâll correct himself.
he doesnât.
and thatâs when someone calls your name from behind you.
not urgent.
just normal.
pulling you back into the rest of the world like it has a claim on you that he doesnât.
you donât move immediately.
neither does he.
for a fraction of a second too long, it feels like the entire party exists somewhere else entirely and you two are stuck in the gap between it.
then you finally glance away.
and thatâs worse.
because it breaks the thing that wasnât supposed to be holding.
you step back slightly.
not leaving.
not staying.
just shifting out of the center of it.
and he feels it immediatelyâ the space opening again, the world reasserting itself, the moment slipping back into something he can pretend didnât matter.
except it already did.
you turn just enough to acknowledge whoever called you, then pause like you forgot something.
your eyes come back to him one last time.
not soft.
not anything.
just present.
and then youâre pulled away.
not dramatically.
not cleanly.
just⊠gone from where heâs standing.
he stays where he is.
paper still in his hand.
jaw tight again.
breathing slightly slower than before.
and the worst part isnât that the moment ended.
itâs that nothing about it actually feels finished.
just interrupted.
like everything between you is still sitting there, waiting for the next time neither of you manages to walk away properly.
you can still feel him in it.
not physically, heâs already moved, already forced himself back into motion like nothing just shifted under his skin, but the moment doesnât stay behind with you. it follows. like something stuck to the inside of your ribs.
you turn slightly when the voice behind you pulls your attention away, smile already in place before you even register who it is. itâs automatic. practiced. safe.
but your focus splits anyway.
because somewhere in the crowd, jj is still there.
you donât look for him.
you donât need to.
you just⊠know.
and that knowledge is annoying in a way you refuse to name.
you let the conversation carry you forward, nodding at the right places, laughing when itâs expected, keeping everything exactly where it should be on the surface. but underneath, thereâs a small, quiet awareness that doesnât settle.
like something got left open.
he moves through the party like heâs trying to erase the fact that anything happened at all.
it should be easy.
it isnât.
he keeps his head slightly down, eyes scanning for sarah, for anything that gives him direction again. but every few seconds his attention drifts sideways without permission.
to you.
not standing with him anymore.
not looking at him anymore.
that should help.
it doesnât.
because his brain keeps replaying the moment like itâs trying to fix it, re-run it, catch something he missed the first time.
he hates that.
just a delivery. just a delivery.
he repeats it like it means something.
like repetition can flatten what just happened.
it doesnât.
his jaw tightens as he forces himself forward again, threading past groups of people who donât know anything is off except him. no one else saw it. no one else felt it shift.
that should make it smaller.
it somehow makes it worse.
you catch a glimpse of him again through the movement of the crowd.
not close.
just there.
talking to someoneâsomeone you donât register properly. his posture is slightly too rigid for casual conversation, like heâs holding himself in place on purpose. like if he relaxes even a little, something will slip out.
you shouldnât notice that.
you do anyway.
your conversation continues without pause, but your attention fractures again in the same exact place it did before.
you tell yourself itâs nothing.
just jj being jj.
passing through.
temporary.
but your mind doesnât fully accept that explanation, not this time.
because thereâs a detail that wonât leave quietly:
the way he looked at you earlier didnât feel like someone passing through.
it felt like someone stopping despite themselves.
he hears his name somewhere in the distance.
not directly. not clearly.
just enough to redirect him.
sarah.
right.
he should be doing that.
his body turns before his thoughts fully agree, already shifting course, already trying to re-anchor itself in the task he came here for.
but thenâ
you laugh.
not at him.
not for him.
just nearby.
and it cuts through whatever he was trying to rebuild in his head.
his steps slow for half a second before he forces them forward again.
donât look again.
he does anyway.
immediately.
and that pisses him off more than anything else.
because youâre just there.
existing like nothing cracked open between you ten minutes ago.
like he didnât stand still too long.
like he didnât feel anything he wasnât supposed to feel.
his fingers flex once at his side, tension pulling tight through his arm as he forces his attention forward again.
leave. just do it. leave.
but his feet donât move any faster.
they just keep going.
you feel it again before you see it.
that pull.
that awareness that heâs still somewhere in the same space even when heâs not in front of you.
itâs irritating.
it shouldnât matter.
but it does.
you adjust your expression slightly, letting the conversation carry you again, letting your body do what it always does in spaces like thisâsmooth, easy, untouched.
still.
thereâs a part of you that keeps tracking something you refuse to admit youâre tracking.
not him exactly.
the absence of him.
or maybe the fact that it doesnât feel like absence at all.
he stops near the edge of another group, half-listening to something someone says that doesnât land in his brain properly.
his thoughts donât sit still.
they keep breaking apart.
she looked at me like she already knewâ
no.
he cuts it off.
immediately.
too sharp.
his jaw flexes again.
he nods at something he didnât fully hear, just to get through the interaction.
then looks away again.
too fast.
like the act of looking is the problem.
you turn slightly as someone gestures toward the water, shifting your attention with practiced ease.
but your eyes still drift, just for a moment, across the crowd.
not searching.
just checking.
and of courseâ
heâs still there.
not near.
not with you.
just existing in the same space like a problem that refuses to resolve itself.
and for the first time since he showed up, you understand something clearly without meaning to:
nothing about that moment earlier actually ended.
it just stopped speaking.
he exhales once, slow, controlled, like heâs trying to reset his entire body into something functional again.
he should find sarah.
he should leave.
he should stop looking back.
he doesnât do any of those things cleanly.
because somewhere behind himâbehind everything heâs trying to focus onâ
youâre still there.
and heâs still aware of it.
too aware.
like the part of him that noticed you earlier never fully shut off again.
he tells himself he just has to find sarah.
thatâs still the plan.
it hasnât changed.
it shouldnât have changed.
except now every time he turns, it feels like the crowd rearranges itself in a way that keeps you somewhere in it. not in front of him. not obvious. just⊠present. like a detail his brain refuses to stop indexing.
he exhales through his nose once, sharp, like that should clear it.
it doesnât.
he finds sarah near the middle of a dance floor finally, caught in the rhythm, gold light hitting her like she belongs in it too. that should be simple. that should be the end of the detour.
he starts toward her.
and thenâ
you again.
not close. not even interacting with him.
just across the space between people, shifting slightly as someone steps away from you. your dress catches the light when you move, and for a second his attention fractures again before he can stop it.
donât.
he actually says it in his head this time.
like itâll listen.
it doesnât.
he keeps walking anyway, but slower now, like his body and his mind are arguing about the same direction.
you feel the shift before you fully see it.
the crowd opens slightly near sarah, movement pulling people into different clusters, and for a brief moment everything aligns in a way that makes it harder to ignore him again.
jj is closer now.
not to you.
to her.
you shouldnât care about that detail.
you do anyway.
you tell yourself itâs just because of proximity. coincidence. shared space. nothing more than that.
but your focus narrows without permission.
because now the situation is clear in a way it wasnât before:
he came here for something else.
not you.
and that should settle everything.
it doesnât.
he reaches sarah, finally.
his voice comes out steadier than he feels.
âhey. got something for you.â
he holds the package out while pretending to dance like itâs the simplest thing in the world.
like nothing else is happening in his head at the same time.
sarah takes it, distracted, mid-dancewith someone else, nodding while fully looking at him.
âthanks, jj.â
easy.
done.
that should be it.
he should leave.
he should already be turning away.
but he doesnât move yet.
because for some reason, his body hesitates like itâs waiting for something it refuses to name.
and thatâs when it happensâ
his eyes flick again.
just once.
and land on you.
youâre still not looking at him.
youâre mid-conversation with someone else now, posture perfect, expression controlled, the same version of you heâs been trying not to think too hard about.
but something about seeing you like thatâfully elsewhere while he is still aware of you lands differently this time.
harder.
less abstract.
more real.
his jaw tightens.
he looks away immediately, too quickly, like it burned.
but itâs too late.
because the thought is already there.
uninvited.
stupid.
persistent.
sheâs not waiting for you.
he swallows once.
hard.
and forces himself to finally turn away from sarahâs group.
this time, actually moving.
you notice it only when itâs already happening.
jj shifting out of your peripheral space again.
leaving.
or trying to.
it should feel like relief.
it doesnât.
because now thereâs a finality to it that wasnât there before.
you let yourself breathe out slowly, letting the moment close back into itself like it never split open in the first place.
but it doesnât fully close.
not cleanly.
because even as he moves away, something in the space he occupied doesnât reset properly.
like the air remembers.
he walks a few steps before he realizes heâs not actually thinking about where heâs going anymore.
just that heâs moving.
just that he should keep moving.
but the problem isâ
his thoughts donât follow clean lines now.
they loop.
they interrupt.
they return to the same point no matter how far he tries to go from it.
pairingsáŻâŠâË bf!jj maybank x bitchy!fem!reader
summaryáŻâŠâË you and jj start a fake dating game that slowly turns real, with teasing, jealousy, and tension giving way to mutual confessions and the start of an undeniable, messy romance.
word countáŻâŠâË 5.5k~
warningsáŻâŠâË cringe
authors note: áŻâŠâË i wanted to try something new? god this is so out of my comfort zone what do you guys think lol
everyone in the cut had an opinion about you, and most of them werenât good. according to half the island, you were blunt, rude, and just a little too comfortable telling people exactly what you thought of them. if someone was being stupid, you said it. if someone annoyed you, you didnât pretend otherwise. it earned you a reputationâone that followed you everywhere you went. most people called you intimidating. some called you worse. you didnât really care.
but somehow, for reasons no one fully understood, you and jj maybank had been best friends for years.
your friendship had started the way most things with jj did: chaotic and accidental. one minute you were two kids constantly getting into trouble around the cut, the next minute you were inseparable. somewhere between sneaking into parties, late-night bike rides, and jj dragging you into half-baked plans that almost always went wrong, the two of you just⊠stuck. jj was reckless, loud, and impulsive in ways that drove most people insane, but you had never really minded. if anything, you matched him perfectly. your sarcasm kept his ego in check, and his easy grin was one of the only things that could break through your permanent resting glare.
to everyone else, you were sharp-tongued and impossible. to jj, you were just you.
the pogues had gotten used to your presence eventuallyâmostly because you were always sitting next to jj, stealing his food or insulting him like it was your full-time job. people thought the two of you hated each other at first. the constant bickering, the shoving, the insults thrown back and forth like it was a sport. but if anyone else tried to say something about you, jj was the first one to shut it down. and if jj ever got himself into troubleâwhich was oftenâyou were always the one standing next to him, arms crossed, ready to help him deal with the consequences.
it was simple, really. you were a bitch to almost everyone.
just not to jj.
the sun was starting to dip behind the marsh, turning the sky that hazy gold that always made the cut look better than it actually was.
you were sitting on the hood of the twinkie, one leg crossed over the other, absentmindedly scrolling through your phone while the pogues argued somewhere behind you. the air smelled like salt and sunscreen and cheap beerâbasically a normal afternoon.
jj leaned against the van beside you, arms crossed, watching the others with that look he always got when he was thinking up something stupid.
you didnât even look up.
âno.â
jj blinked. âi didnât say anything.â
âyouâre about to,â you said calmly. âand whatever it is, the answer is no.â
he tilted his head, squinting at you. âyouâre actually the worst.â
âand what? you have 5 seconds to walk away before i throw you into the marsh.â
he said nothing. you finally glanced up, raising an eyebrow.
âgod, jay. whatâs the plan this time? steal something? start a fight? accidentally commit a felony?â
jj scoffed. ârelax. itâs not illegal.â
you stared at him.
âoh god. your pause didn't help win the case.â
jj dragged a hand through his hair, clearly debating how to say whatever was on his mind.
that alone made you suspicious.
jj maybank was not the âhesitate before speakingâ type.
âokay,â he finally said. âhypotheticallyââ
you groaned loudly.
âoh my god, fuck no.â
âcan you let me finish?â he snapped.
âno. hypotheticals from you end with me running from the police.â
he rolled his eyes, stepping closer to the hood of the van.
âjust hear me out.â
you studied him for a moment. his expression had that familiar mix of mischief and determination, the same look he got right before dragging everyone into chaos.
which meant this was definitely a bad idea.
still, you sighed.
âyou have ten seconds.â
jj pointed at you. âsee? thatâs why youâre my favorite.â
âeight seconds.â
âokay, okay.â
he leaned back against the twinkie, suddenly looking a little too casual.
âso⊠i need you to pretend to be my girlfriend.â
you stared at him.
for a full three seconds.
then you started laughing.
not a polite laugh, either. the kind that made you lean forward slightly, one hand covering your mouth as you shook your head.
âoh, thatâs good,â you said between laughs. âthatâs really good.â
jj frowned.
âiâm serious.â
that only made you laugh harder.
âyou?â you said, pointing at him. âand me?â
âyeah.â
you slid off the hood of the van, still smiling in disbelief.
âjj, pretending to date you sounds like psychological warfare.â
âoh please,â he shot back. âyou already hang out with me every day.â
âthatâs different.â
âhow?â
âbecause i would never claim you in public.â
jj put a hand over his chest like youâd wounded him.
âwow. that hurts.â
you shrugged.
he stepped closer, lowering his voice slightly.
âcome on. i just need it for a little while.â
your eyes narrowed immediately. that tone meant something was up.
âwhy.â
jj hesitated.
that was your second red flag.
âyouâre being fucking weird,â you said flatly.
âiâm not being weird.â
âyouâre being weird.â
he sighed dramatically, running a hand over his face.
âfine. thereâs this girlââ
you held up a hand instantly.
âfuck no.â
âwhat?â
âabsolutely not.â
jj groaned.
âcan you stop saying no before i finish a sentence?â
âno, because i already know where this is going,â you said. âyou want to make some fucking girl jealous and you're going to drag me into your bullshit.â
âitâs not like that.â
you gave him a look.
jj sighed again.
ââŠokay, itâs a little like that.â
you turned away, grabbing your phone again.
âfind someone else.â
âcome on,â he said, following you. âyouâre perfect for it.â
âthat might be the most insulting compliment iâve ever received.â
jj smirked slightly.
âpeople already think you hate everyone.â
âi do hate everyone.â
âexactly.â
he spread his hands like that proved his point.
you stared at him.
ââŠiâm struggling to see the benefit for me.â
jj paused. then he grinned. and that grin meant trouble.
âiâll owe you.â
you squinted at him.
âdefine owe.â
âanything you want.â
dangerous. very dangerous.
you crossed your arms, thinking for a moment.
jj waited.
finally, you sighed.
ââŠfine.â
his eyes lit up instantly.
âreally?â
you pointed a finger at him.
âtemporary. and if this ruins my reputation, iâm blaming you.â
jj laughed.
âyour reputation cannot get worse.â
you shoved his shoulder.
âtake it back.â
he caught your wrist for a second as you pulled away, still grinning like heâd just won the lottery.
ârelax,â he said.
then he added, a little too confidently:
âitâs just pretending.â
you raised an eyebrow. for some reason, you had a feeling that wasnât going to stay true for very long.
the hms pogue rocked gently over the water, the motor humming low while the late afternoon sun shimmered across the inlet. salt hung in the air, warm and heavy, and the usual chaos of the pogues filled the small boat.
john b was steering, pope sat across from him arguing about something that probably didnât matter, and kiara was half-listening while staring out at the water.
normal. mostly.
except for one thing.
you were quiet. suspiciously quiet.
kiara noticed it first.
usually, you wouldâve been in the middle of the argument by now, throwing sarcastic comments across the boat or insulting someone for saying something stupid. silence wasnât exactly your brand.
but right now you were sitting on the floor of the boat, back resting against the bench where jj was sitting.
close. a little too close.
jjâs legs were on either side of you, stretched out casually, and one of his hands was absentmindedly messing with the string on his hoodie while the other rested loosely near your shoulder.
kiara squinted. that was⊠new.
pope noticed next. his eyes flicked between the two of you as the conversation slowly died down.
âyouâre quiet,â he said suddenly.
you didnât even look up.
âcongratulations,â you replied flatly. âyouâve discovered silence.â
jj snorted behind you. normal.
but thenâ
jj leaned forward slightly. before anyone could question it, he casually pulled you back a few inches so you were sitting fully between his legs on the floor, your back resting against his knees. his arms dropped loosely over your shoulders like it was the most natural thing in the world.
the boat went quiet.
john b glanced back over his shoulder.
kiara blinked.
pope stared.
you didnât react. you just leaned back slightly, like this happened all the time. it definitely did not.
kiara slowly turned around to face the two of you.
ââŠwhat is happening.â
jj looked up like nothing was wrong.
âwhat?â
pope pointed.
âat that.â
jj followed his finger, looking down at you like heâd just noticed your existence.
âoh,â he said casually. âthis?â
no one answered. because yes. that.
kiara crossed her arms.
âyou hate being touched.â
you shrugged.
âdepends who it is.â
pope squinted harder.
âand since when are you okay with jj touching you?â
jj grinned.
âsince always.â
âthatâs not true,â john b said immediately.
âyou literally punched him in the shoulder last week for breathing too loud,â kiara added.
âthat was justified,â you said.
jj tightened his arms around your shoulders slightly, resting his chin briefly on the top of your head.
âsee? she loves me.â
you elbowed him lightly.
âdonât push it.â
pope looked between the two of you like he was trying to solve a math problem.
ââŠsomething weird is happening.â
âno itâs not,â jj said quickly.
kiara leaned forward.
âyes. it is.â
john b pointed at you.
âyou havenât insulted anyone in like⊠ten minutes.â
you rolled your eyes.
âgive me a minute.â
but they werenât convinced. because the weirdness didnât stop there. a few minutes laterâ
jj handed you his drink without you asking.
you took it without question.
another minute passed. your hand rested absentmindedly on his knee.
pope saw it immediately. his eyes widened.
âokay, no,â he said suddenly.
everyone looked at him.
âthis is weird.â
kiara nodded quickly.
âvery weird.â
jj raised an eyebrow.
âyou guys are acting dramatic.â
john b leaned against the steering wheel, staring at the two of you.
ââŠare you two dating.â
silence.
you tilted your head slightly, glancing up at jj.
jj looked down at you. then back at them.
ââŠyeah.â
the reaction was instant.
âwhat?!â kiara and pope said at the same time.
john b nearly swerved the boat.
âyouâre lying,â kiara said immediately.
you sighed.
âweâre not.â
pope pointed again.
âno. no way. absolutely not.â
jj smirked.
âwhy not?â
âbecause you two fight like enemies,â pope said.
âand she calls you a dumbass every five minutes,â john b added.
you shrugged.
âstill true.â
jj laughed quietly behind you.
kiara narrowed her eyes.
ââŠhow long.â
jj answered way too fast.
âa little while.â
you didnât correct him. which made things worse.
the pogues all exchanged looks. suspicious. confused. deeply unconvinced.
and somehowâŠ
not one of them believed this was the full story.
the sun was lower now, reflecting off the water in blinding streaks of gold. normally the boat was loudâarguments, jokes, someone yelling about snacksâbut the atmosphere had shifted into something quieter. not peaceful. suspicious.
at the center of that suspicion were you and jj maybank.
you were still sitting on the floor between his legs, leaning back against him like it was completely normal. jjâs arms were resting loosely over your shoulders, his hands hanging casually in front of you. every now and then his thumb absentmindedly traced circles against the sleeve of your shirt, like he wasnât even aware he was doing it.
across the boat, kiara carrera watched the two of you with narrowed eyes.
something about this was wrong.
very wrong.
you and jj had always been close, sure. but this was different. softer somehow. quieter. and the fact that you werenât actively insulting himâor anyone elseâwas almost more concerning than the physical closeness.
kiara slowly leaned toward pope heyward, lowering her voice just enough that it wouldnât carry across the boat.
âdo you believe them?â
pope glanced over again, studying the scene like he was analyzing a science experiment.
âabsolutely not.â
at the wheel, john b routledge tilted his head slightly so he could listen in without turning around.
ânot even a little,â he muttered.
the three of them exchanged a look.
then kiaraâs expression shifted slowly into something dangerous.
curious.
âwell,â she said quietly, âthereâs an easy way to find out.â
pope blinked. âyouâre notââ
âweâre testing it.â
john b grinned immediately. âi like this plan.â
pope sighed like he already knew this was going to spiral.
the first test came quickly.
kiara suddenly stood and walked toward the cooler near where you were sitting. on the way, she âaccidentallyâ bumped your shoulder a little harder than necessary.
normally that wouldâve earned her a sarcastic comment or at least a glare.
instead, you barely reacted. you just shifted slightly, your shoulder brushing jjâs arm as you resettled.
jj, however, immediately tightened his hold around your shoulders for a second.
âwatch it,â he said lightly.
kiara paused. that was⊠interesting.
she grabbed a drink and walked back slowly, watching the two of you the entire time.
âokay,â she whispered once she sat down again. âthat was weird.â
pope nodded slowly.
âvery weird.â
john b glanced back again. you were now leaning your head slightly against jjâs leg while scrolling through your phone, and jj had started absentmindedly playing with a strand of your hair.
john b nearly laughed.
âoh my god.â
âwhat?â pope asked.
âheâs playing with her hair.â
kiara whipped her head around.
sure enough, jj was twirling a piece of your hair around his finger like it was the most natural thing in the world.
pope rubbed his face.
âno. i donât buy it. thatâs suspiciously convincing.â
âsecond test,â kiara whispered.
this time pope took the lead.
he leaned forward slightly, raising his voice just enough to reach you.
âhey,â he said casually. âjj, didnât that girl from the boneyard party ask for your number last night?â
jj froze. just slightly.
but pope noticed.
you didnât move, though. you just kept scrolling on your phone like you hadnât heard anything.
jj recovered quickly.
âyeah,â he said slowly. âso?â
pope shrugged. âjust saying. she seemed pretty into you.â
he watched carefully. waiting.
if this was fake, you wouldâve made some sarcastic comment by now. something snarky. something dismissive.
instead, you sighed softly and tilted your head back so you could look up at jj.
âdid she?â
jj looked down at you. for half a second he looked unsure.
then he smirked.
âyeah,â he said. âbut iâm busy.â
you hummed quietly.
âgood.â
then you went right back to your phone.
popeâs jaw dropped.
kiara grabbed his arm.
âokay that was convincing,â she whispered urgently.
john b was practically vibrating with excitement now.
âthird test,â he said.
before either of them could stop him, he suddenly swerved the boat slightly.
not dangerously, but enough that the boat rocked hard.
the movement knocked everyone off balance.
you instinctively grabbed jjâs arm as you shifted, steadying yourself.
jjâs arms wrapped around you immediately, pulling you closer against him without even thinking about it.
âcareful,â he said.
âjohn b can you drive better,â you muttered.
john b stared at the two of you.
kiara stared.
pope stared.
none of them spoke for a moment.
finally pope leaned back slowly.
ââŠi hate to say it.â
kiara crossed her arms.
âbut?â
pope exhaled.
âbut they might actually be dating.â
john b shook his head in disbelief.
âno way.â
across the boat, jj leaned down slightly so only you could hear him.
âour friends are terrible investigators.â
you smirked faintly.
âplease. theyâre two seconds away from waterboarding us for answers.â
jj snorted quietly.
and behind you, the pogues continued watching.
because something about this still felt off.
they just hadnât figured out what yet.
the pier smelled of salt and old wood. you were lounging against the bench, boots propped up, scrolling lazily through your phone, while jj leaned back on the other side, one arm slung casually over your shoulders. everything felt calm⊠too calm.
then she appeared.
the girl jj had been trying to make jealous strutted up the dock, her grin sharp and predatory. she stopped when she saw you, and for a split second, her perfectly painted eyes flashed with something like irritation or maybe it was panic.
âoh, so this is the new thing?â she said, voice sweet but venom-laced. âsitting there, leaning on him⊠i mean, really?â
you didnât even glance up. you let the silence stretch just long enough to make her twitch. âgirl, who even are you,â you asked calmly. âand clearly, youâre forgetting who he belongs to. hint: itâs not you.â
her grin faltered slightly, but she recovered quickly. âoh, come on. donât act like you own him. jjâs got a choice, you know.â
you finally lifted your eyes to meet hers, slow and deliberate. âchoice, huh?â you let your tone drip with amusement. âlet me give you a tip. choices donât matter when the other personâs already decided. heâs here. with me. and from what i can tell, youâre out of options.â
the girl stepped closer, narrowing her eyes. âout of options? please. i can make him notice me. youâre just⊠lucky, thatâs all.â
you tilted your head, smirking. âlucky? bitch, this isnât luck. this is strategy. and if you keep trying to make a move while iâm in the picture, you don't even want to know what'll happen.â
jj, who had been quietly watching the back-and-forth, shifted in his seat. his arm tightened slightly across your shoulders, a subtle claim. âyeah,â he said low, voice almost dangerous. âyou heard her. back off.â
the girl blinked, clearly thrown, but tried to keep her composure. âyou donât get to boss me around.â
you leaned forward slightly, letting your smirk curl sharper. âoh, i donât have to boss you. iâm just pointing out facts. heâs with me. youâre not. and if you keep talking to us, iâll make sure you regret it.â
she opened her mouth to respond, but jj gave a quiet, amused chuckle from behind you. âsheâs not bluffing,â he said. âtrust me.â
the girlâs perfect smile faltered entirely this time. she took a step back, then another, finally muttering, âwhatever. this isnât over.â
for the next two weeks, the world seemed to shrink around the two of you. every time the pogues showed up, every time you ran into that girlâor anyone who might careâthere you were: leaning against jj, laughing a little too close, brushing shoulders in ways that were just intimate enough to make it believable.
you kept it casual, of course. too casual. feet brushing against his in the twinkie, leaning into him when you walked, letting your hand linger against his arm just a fraction longer than necessary. jj matched you, leaning a little closer when you werenât looking, his arm draped lazily over your shoulders when it made everyone around notice and notice just enough.
it became a rhythm. youâd meet at the docks before dawn, pretend to argue about stupid things, and then act like it was love in front of the others. you laughed, teased, and squabbled in front of the pogues, but behind closed doors or when no one was watching the silence between you grew heavier with something unspoken.
evenings were the hardest. sitting at the wreck or in the twinkie, the fake smiles and jokes sometimes slipping into real touches and glances that lasted too long. and every time jj reached for your hand first, you felt a thrill you couldnât explain because the lines between pretending and wanting were starting to blur.
by the end of two weeks, everyone around you was convinced. the pogues were making bets on when youâd finally âadmit it,â the girl had stopped trying entirely, and jj⊠jj just smirked at you every time you got a little too comfortable, like he knew something neither of you were willing to say out loud yet.
the game continued, but under the surface, something else was growing. something real. something neither of you could fake.
the chĂąteau was quiet, the kind of quiet that made the tension between you and jj feel loud enough to shake the walls. you stormed in, dropping your bag onto the nearest chair, and jj followed, scowling like he had been holding in his frustration all day.
âyouâre impossible,â he muttered, low but sharp.
âoh, iâm impossible?â you shot back, arms crossed, stepping closer, voice steady but cold. âyou get jealous over some guy who tried to hit on me? really? jj, iâm not impressed by his attempts, and neither should you be.â
jjâs jaw tightened. âheâhe was hitting on you!â
âand?â you countered, tone cool but firm. âheâs irrelevant. it doesnât matter. what matters is you, maybank, acting like a child instead of keeping it together. i donât need your jealousy to validate me.â
jj blinked, taken aback by your calm confidence. âi⊠i just donât like seeing him near you!â
âgood,â you said, smirk tugging at your lips. âthen maybe focus on that instead of letting your emotions run wild. youâre lucky iâm patientâor this would have gotten a lot messier.â
before he could respond, the chĂąteau door creaked, and in walked the pogues. john b froze, popeâs jaw dropped, and kiara gave a quiet whistle.
âoh,â pope muttered. âtheyâre⊠actually arguing?â
âyeah,â john b said slowly, eyes wide. âand⊠wow.â
kiara covered her mouth to hide a laugh. ânext-level chaos right here.â
you didnât even glance at them. âback off,â you said smoothly, tone cold but controlled. âunless you want to see just how much fun it is to watch someone flustered when theyâre already losing.â
jj let out a breath, half exasperated, half laughing. âyou⊠youâre brutal,â he muttered, shaking his head.
âand youâre jealous,â you replied, smirk curling just enough to tease. âitâs adorable, really. but donât push it, or i will chew you out.â
jj laughed softly, running a hand through his hair. âyeah⊠okay, okay. i get it.â
the pogues shuffled awkwardly toward the stairs, whispering to each other about what they had just walked in on. âdo they always fight like this?â pope asked, disbelief in his voice.
kiara shook her head. âi think this is⊠special.â
with the pogues gone, you and jj were left alone. the tension hung in the air, electric but controlled, teasing the line between fake dating and something dangerously real.
jj leaned slightly closer, voice low and amused. âyou know⊠you could almost make me jealous for real.â
you smirked. âalmost isnât enough, maybank.â
and for the first time, the chaos felt a little thrilling rather than threateningâthe perfect mix of challenge, tension, and unspoken something more.
it was late afternoon at the wreck, and the air was heavy with the smell of salt and rust. you and jj were sitting apart at first, both pretending to ignore each other, keeping up the charade for appearances. but the silence between you was too loaded to last.
âyou didnât say anything back there,â jj muttered, voice low, almost defensive.
âsay what?â you asked, turning just enough to meet his gaze, the edge in your voice softening slightly.
âthat you⊠care. that you⊠notice when someoneâs trying to get to you,â he said, fumbling over the words like he wasnât used to being vulnerable.
you raised an eyebrow. âi notice. i notice everything,â you said coolly, but your chest tightened as you caught the flicker of hurt and frustration in his eyes. âeven when youâre being a stubborn idiot.â
jj huffed a laugh, running a hand through his hair. âyeah⊠well, i noticed you, too. more than i probably should.â
you froze for a second. that wasnât teasing. that wasnât casual. that was real.
âi⊠i donât like anyone else near you,â he admitted quietly, almost reluctantly. âeven when you handle yourself perfectly. even when itâs⊠obvious they donât matter. i just⊠canât stand it.â
your heartbeat picked up, but your voice stayed steady, cold enough to keep him on edge. âgood. because thatâs my line, jj. you donât get to play jealous when i can handle myself better than anyone else.â
he smirked, half-frustrated, half-admitting defeat. âyeah⊠i know. but it doesnât stop me from feeling it.â
you leaned back slightly, letting the silence stretch, letting him see that the words had an effect. and for the first time in weeks, neither of you teased, joked, or acted like it was a game. the air between you felt electric, tense, and real.
and neither of you could look away.
the next morning, you didnât answer jjâs texts. not a single one. you didnât pick up when he called, and by mid-afternoon, it was clear you werenât coming by the wreck either.
jj sat on the edge of the twinkie, staring at his phone like it had betrayed him. every buzz, every vibration made him hope it was you, but it never was. his chest tightened with an unfamiliar sort of panicâan ache he wasnât used to feeling.
meanwhile, you were somewhere else entirely, pacing your small apartment. the sunlight poured through the window, but it felt harsh, almost accusing. you couldnât stop replaying yesterdayâs argument, his words, the way his eyes had softened when heâd admitted how much he noticedâand cared.
the truth hit you like a wave, and it scared you: you were starting to feel something. something that went past teasing, past the fake dating game. real, messy, impossible feelings.
and you werenât ready.
so you stayed silent. you avoided the wreck. you ignored the texts. you even pretended to be busy whenever pope, john b, or kiara asked if youâd seen jj.
by sunset, jj was a restless storm, pacing the deck, muttering under his breath. âwhere the hell is she?â he asked no one in particular. his phone sat beside him, screen lit with unread messages.
and somewhere inside, you knew that eventually, youâd have to face him againâbut today wasnât that day. today, you were safe in your distance, trying to convince yourself that keeping space between you two would make the feelings easier to manage.
but deep down, you knew it wasnât working.
the sun hung low over the deck, throwing streaks of gold and purple across the water. you sat perched on the edge, arms crossed, jaw tight, trying not to betray the storm of feelings inside. jj stepped up beside you, casual, hands in his pockets, smirk already playing at his lips.
âso,â he began, voice light and teasing, âghosting me for a whole day⊠my fake girlfriend knows how to make me worry, huh?â
you turned your head sharply, eyes cold. âfake girlfriend?â you repeated, voice sharp enough to cut glass. âyouâre lucky i even decided to talk to you right now, maybank.â
he leaned just a little closer, that smirk widening, eyes glinting. âoh, i like it when you snap. makes me feel⊠alive. you know, youâd make a terrible fake girlfriend if you canât handle a little teasing.â
âi handle plenty,â you shot back, tone tight, âjust canât right now.â
jj chuckled low, brushing his thumb along your arm in the most casual way, letting the contact linger just enough to make your chest tighten. âah⊠so thatâs it. youâre playing the âtough, untouchable fake girlfriendâ act. got it. smart. i can respect that.â
âdonât get cocky,â you muttered, voice low, trying to steady your pulse. âjust because youâre grinning doesnât mean i like it.â
âoh, i know you like it,â he said softly, leaning closer, forehead nearly brushing yours. âyou just wonât admit it. my stubborn, impossible, fake girlfriend⊠sheâs really something.â
you blinked, trying to keep your composure, voice tight. âfake, huh? thatâs your word. iâm not fake.â
jj smirked, leaning back slightly, teasing. âright⊠not fake. just annoyingly stubborn, dangerously clever, and⊠ridiculously distracting.â
you froze for a heartbeat, heart hammering. âdistracting?â you asked, voice barely a whisper.
âyeah,â he said, grin softening, eyes catching yours. âdistracting enough that my âfake girlfriendâ has me thinking about her way too much.â
your chest tightened, cheeks heating. you looked away, voice clipped but trembling slightly. âyouâre ridiculous.â
he leaned closer again, teasing but steady, letting you feel the warmth and weight of him near. âmaybe. but so are you. and honestly⊠i wouldnât have it any other way. my fake girlfriend⊠sheâs driving me insane.â
you exhaled sharply, heart racing. âdriving you insane, huh? maybe⊠maybe thatâs because i⊠iâm not just pretending anymore.â
jjâs eyes flicked to you sharply, but he didnât move. âoh?â he asked, voice low and dangerous with amusement. ânot pretending anymore?â
your jaw tightened. âyeah⊠iâm done pretending. iâI caught feelings, jj. real ones. and⊠i donât want to be a fake girlfriend anymore. i want this to be⊠real. i want it to be us, not some stupid act weâve been playing for weeks.â
he blinked, then leaned closer, a slow, teasing smirk returning. âwow⊠you really just said that? stubborn, smart⊠and now confessing?â
âyes,â you said, voice firm now, steady even though your heart was racing. âiâve been trying not to admit it because i didnât want to get hurt, or ruin⊠whatever this is. but i canât hide it anymore. i care, jj. iâve cared for weeks, and i⊠i want this to be real. not a game.â
jj let out a low laugh, soft and amused, brushing a strand of hair from your face with a tenderness he hadnât shown before. âwell⊠finally.â his voice dropped lower, teasing still, but with something warm underneath. âfinally, my impossible, stubborn⊠ex-fake girlfriend admits sheâs been caught.â
you rolled your eyes, trying not to smile too much, though your chest felt lighter just hearing him tease. âex-fake girlfriend, huh? donât get too confident.â
âoh, i wonât,â he said, grinning. âbut i think⊠i owe you. for keeping up with me, for putting up with all my stupid games, all my jealousy, all the teasing⊠youâre owed. and maybe a little more than that.â
your lips curved into a small, triumphant smirk. âgood. because iâm done playing. you want me? you get meâno games, no pretending. just⊠me.â
jj leaned closer, forehead brushing yours, his grin softening, eyes full of warmth and amusement. âdeal,â he said, voice low. âbut fair warning⊠i plan on keeping you on your toes. and making sure you never regret it.â
you let out a laugh, soft and breathless, chest pressed against him. âi wouldnât have it any other way.â
and there, on the wreck with the sun bleeding behind the horizon, the teasing, the tension, the stubbornnessâthey all melted into something real, messy, and undeniable. the fake girlfriend act was over. the slow-burn finally became fire, and neither of you would ever want it to end.
summaryáŻâŠâË youâve liked jj maybank since third grade. now, summer before junior year, heâs flirting with everyone else and youâre done waiting. this is your last resort⊠your final straw.
word countáŻâŠâË 5.2k~
warningsáŻâŠâË typical obx setting: alc, pining, jj being suggestive
authors note: áŻâŠâË guess who's back :)
youâve had a crush on jj maybank for as long as you can remember. third grade, to be exact the year he transferred into your class with john booker routledge, all scraped knees, sun-bleached hair, and that crooked grin that looked like trouble even back then. you remember it stupidly clearly: the way he kicked the leg of your desk when he sat behind you, the way he leaned over to borrow a pencil he never returned, the way he laughed when the teacher scolded him like it was the funniest thing in the world.
somewhere between then and now, the stupid little crush never left.
it just⊠grew up with you.
now itâs years later, and nothing has really changed, except everything has. jj is still jj: loud, reckless, magnetic in a way that pulls everyone toward him whether they mean to or not. he slings an arm over your shoulders like itâs the most natural thing in the world, flashes you that same crooked grin, calls you pretty girl sometimes without thinking twice about it.
and the worst part?
he has absolutely no idea what it does to you.
you always thought the painful part was yours alone. smiling through it, pretending his casual touches donât linger too long in your mind, pretending the sound of his laugh doesnât make your chest tighten in a way that feels a little dangerous.
but apparently, according to your friends, watching you be hopelessly, helplessly in love with jj maybank is just as painful as living it.
now, the last bell of sophomore year rings, echoing off the lockers like a signal for chaos to erupt. the hallways are a mess of students yelling, backpacks slamming against metal, and sneakers squeaking across the linoleum. a few stray papers swirl on the floor from the wind of slammed doors. everyone is moving in a thousand different directions, like the building itself is shaking with relief and energy.
kie, pope, john b, and jj push ahead, their laughter bouncing off the walls, loud enough to turn heads. kieâs hair glints in the late afternoon sun streaming through the windows, popeâs sneakers squeak as he skids around a corner, and jjâs grin looks effortlessly dangerous, like he owns not just the hallway but the whole day.
you fall in step behind them, phone clutched in one hand, backpack straps digging into your shoulders. your head dips low, trying to avoid anyoneâs gaze. you stick close to the lockers, weaving between groups of chattering students, the smell of cafeteria fries and freshly polished floors filling your nose. every shout, every slam of a locker, makes your chest tighten just a little. youâre not invisibleâyou know that, but right now, you wish you could disappear entirely into the chaos, like a shadow skimming the walls.
the familiar energy of the group ahead is almost comforting, even as it reminds you of all the ways you donât quite fit in, of all the ways jj can make you feel both seen and painfully invisible at the same time. your fingers curl around your phone, scrolling almost unconsciously, hoping it will anchor you in something anything other than the sharp sting of noticing him laughing, leaning against john b like heâs been the same magnetic troublemaker since the day he appeared in third grade.
then your phone buzzes, and you glance down, half-distracted, half-hoping itâs a text from someone...anyone...but instead, your photo gallery opens to a picture from freshman year. there you are, kie, pope, john b, and jj, all huddled together for the camera, grinning like nothing in the world could touch you. your cheeks burn as you remember the carefree energy of that day, how innocent and oblivious you all were, how the tight little bond you had already felt like it could survive anything. you linger on the photo a second too long, the memory tugging at something you canât name, a mix of nostalgia and something heavier youâve carried for years.
jj swings an arm over your shoulder as you leave school, leaning closer like he owns the space around you. his eyes flick down at your tank top, then back up with that crooked, teasing grin.
âoh look⊠youâre wearing the same tank top, and you actually grew into it,â he says.
your chest tightens. of course he doesnât mean anything seriousâitâs just jj being jj, but the way he says it makes your stomach twist anyway. without thinking, you shove him into the nearest locker.
âhey! chillââ he starts, but the words die in his throat as he stumbles back, more annoyed than hurt.
you know heâll never take anything seriously, and thatâs exactly what makes it infuriating.
by the time you reach the twinkie, the salty air and the faint smell of fries are supposed to make everything feel lighter. the bench inside is warm from the sun, and the usual clatter of friends settling in fills the space. john b leans back with a grin, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet.
âkegger at the boneyard tonight. summerâs officially on,â he announces, voice full of mischief.
the group erupts. pope is already throwing out wild predictions about whoâll spill the first beer. kieâs laughing, teasing someone you canât hear over the din. jj slings his arm over your shoulder again, leaning casually as if itâs the most normal thing in the world. but you? you stay quiet, head tilted down, eyes on the cracked wooden bench. jjâs comment earlier about your tank top keeps looping in your mind. it shouldnât have gotten under your skin, but somehow it did.
âhey, whatâs up with you?â pope asks, glancing between you and jj.
before you can answer, jj cuts in, smirking like heâs letting you in on a secret. âoh, i may or may not have said something about her,â he says, gesturing suggestively to indicate⊠well, the way his hand slides lightly over your chest.
your stomach twists. without thinking, you push him, hard. jj stumbles back, and for a second you think youâve made your point, but he just grins, leaning in again like itâs a game.
john b starts the truck, muttering under his breath, but jj ignores him. âcome on,â he says, voice teasing. âyou canât stay mad at me forever.â
âiâm not mad,â you snap, âiâm just⊠done.â
jj leans closer, playful and infuriating all at once. âyou donât care about what other people think of you anyway.â
you freeze, blink at him, then narrow your eyes. âwhat makes you say that?â
he smirks, tone flirty and dangerous, as if he knows exactly how to get under your skin. âbecause you never change for anyone⊠except when youâre trying to annoy me, apparently.â
you groan in frustration and push him off the bench again. the sound of him hitting the metal makes everyone cringe. pope mutters something incomprehensible, and kie covers her face with her hands, shaking her head like she canât believe this is happening.
âiâm done,â you mutter, storming out of the twinkie before jj can reply.
john b calls after you, voice soft but teasing. âiâll pick you up at 8:30.â
you hum quietly in response, letting the cool summer air wash over you as you walk to the front door of your house. your chest is still tight, thoughts tangled with frustration and something else youâre not ready to name.
just as you reach for the door, kie jumps out of the van. âcâmon, weâre getting ready together,â she says with a grin, grabbing your arm and steering you toward your own house. you canât help but let a small smile tug at your lips, even as your mind drifts back to jj and the mess heâs making of your calm summer plans.
âokay, seriously, why have you never told him?â kie says, hands on her hips, staring you down like sheâs fed up.
âtold who what?â you mumble, trying to look anywhere but her eyes.
âjj, duh. the guy youâve been mooning over since, what, third grade?â
you groan. âitâs⊠complicated.â
âno itâs not. itâs you being scared, thatâs all. and honestly? he has no idea how much you like him.â
âheâll never take me seriously,â you mutter.
kie laughs. âoh my god, yes he will. but youâre going to have to do more than sulk in silence, okay? this waiting game is so over. youâve wasted enough time.â
âand what exactly am i supposed to do?â you ask, skeptical.
âiâm talking⊠glow-up. the kind of summer you finally show him he canât just be oblivious.â
you frown. âlike⊠what?â
âweâre going all in. clothes, hair, the whole vibe. starting with what youâre wearing tonight.â
âtonight?â you raise an eyebrow.
âkegger at the boneyard. come on, you need a little edge. something he wonât forget.â
you bite your lip. âwhat do you have in mind?â
kie smirks, digging through her bag. âhere. backless halter, short denim shorts. youâd never normally wear this, but thatâs the point.â
your stomach twists. âthatâs⊠really out there. i donât know ifââ
âexactly. itâs supposed to make you feel alive, make him notice. youâre tired of waiting, right? then this is it. last resort, final straw.â
you stare at the outfit, hesitating for a second⊠then slowly, determination creeps in. âokay. fine. letâs do it.â
kie grins, triumphant. âyes! now go shock him.â
the boys pov
jj is sprawled across john bâs couch like he owns the place, bag of chips cradled in one arm, the tv flickering silently in the background. pope is perched on the armrest, arms crossed, eyebrows raised, while john b leans against the kitchen counter, a look thatâs part amusement, part exasperation.
âdude,â john b starts, shaking his head, âyou seriously shouldnât have said what you said about her.â
jj crunches a chip, chewing thoughtfully. âi⊠what did i say?â
âoh come on,â pope snaps, leaning forward, fingers drumming on the leather couch. âdonât play dumb. you know exactly what. stop acting like youâre innocent.â
jj blinks, genuinely confused. âiâm not acting. i didnât say anything bad. iâm telling you, sheâs fine.â
âfine? sheâs literally not fine,â john b says, running a hand through his hair. âyou teased her, like⊠in front of everyone. and she didnât even know how to react. you canât just, ugh, just donât, alright?â
jj shrugs, tossing a chip into his mouth. âlook, sheâs always overthinking stuff. itâs fine.â
âfine?â pope huffs, flopping backward slightly. âwhat do you actually think of her? be honest.â
jj freezes, mid-crunch, his eyes darting between the two of them. âwhat do you mean?â
âyou know exactly what we mean,â john b says, crossing his arms. âstop dodging.â
jj shrugs again, like itâs the most obvious thing in the world. âthatâs my girl. sheâs gonna be my best friend forever. so anything i say, she canât be mad at me.â
pope and john b exchange a look. john b leans closer, voice sharper. âwhy do you think that is?â
jj stares at them like theyâre speaking another language. âwtf, what are you talking about?â
pope lifts his hands, circling them in the air like heâs trying to see if jj will slip. âiâm just trying to see if youâll admit it without saying it. thatâs all.â
john b groans, hands on his knees. âyouâre killing me, dude. are you seriously that dense?â
âif you guys are insinuating something,â jj says finally, sounding almost offended now, âyouâre wrong. i donâtâthereâs nothing to insinuate.â
pope groans, dropping his head back on the couch like itâs too much effort to deal with jjâs cluelessness. john b lets out a long sigh, shaking his head slowly.
âman,â pope mutters, still circling his hands like heâs trying to catch a confession midair, âyou are impossible sometimes.â
jj leans back, grinning, completely unbothered. âi know. thatâs why you love me.â
âwe hate you,â john b says flatly.
âsame,â pope adds, still groaning.
jj laughs, tossing a chip at john b. âyou love me. donât even lie.â
âugh,â both john b and pope groan together again, collapsing against the couch cushions. âseriously, just⊠why?â
jj shrugs, smiling like a kid who just got away with something, completely unaware that heâs just made the rest of the room lose their minds.
back to reader pov
the twinkie idles in the driveway, pope in the driverâs seat, john b riding shotgun, pretending to scroll through his phone while keeping a sharp eye on the sidewalk. you and kie round the corner, walking toward the van, excitement and nerves coiling in your chest.
just as you reach the sliding door, it swings open, and jj steps out like he owns the moment. golden sunset catching his hair, crooked grin plastered across his face, one hand casually resting on the roof of the van.
âwell, well, well⊠look whoâs finally here,â he says, voice low, teasing, eyes sparkling. âand damn⊠you actually went all out tonight, huh?â
you glance at kie, whoâs biting back a laugh, then back at jj, feeling your cheeks heat up. âhey,â you mumble, trying to sound casual.
âhey?â he repeats, stepping closer, leaning just enough to make your stomach twist. âno. no. thatâs not gonna work. look at youâseriously. hot, dangerous, irresistible⊠who you tryin' to impress tonight, girl?â
you flush, trying not to laugh, trying not to roll your eyes, trying not to let him see exactly how flustered you are. âyouâre ridiculous,â you mutter, shoving him lightly, just enough to get him to step back.
âridiculous?â he teases, waving his hand dramatically. âmaybe. but in a good way. trust me, everyoneâs gonna notice you tonight. especially me.â
john b chuckles from the passenger seat. âsummerâs off to a solid start.â
the boneyard stretches out before you, the dark sand cool under your bare feet, waves whispering at the shore. string lights hang from driftwood posts and old umbrellas, flickering over the crowd of classmates and random summer stragglers. music thumps from a corner near a weathered bonfire, carrying over the sound of the surf.
you and kie find a spot near the edge, cups in hand, settling onto a blanket. the salty air mixes with the sharp tang of beer, warm and dizzying, loosening the edges of nerves youâve been holding in all day.
jj is everywhere and nowhere at once, laughing with friends, hair catching the string-light glow, that crooked grin working overtime. youâre just starting to relax when he notices her. some new girl standing by the old palm tree, hair bouncing with the breeze, clearly new to the boneyard scene.
and just like that, jjâs focus snaps. he moves toward her with the kind of effortless confidence youâve seen a million times, the grin on his face daring the world to compete.
something twists in your chest. the warm buzz in your stomach turns sharper, bitter. your jaw tightens as you sip from your cup, letting the alcohol burn down, the heat reminding you that youâre here too. that heâs⊠looking elsewhere.
âreally, jj?â you mutter under your breath, gripping your cup tighter. kie nudges your side, eyebrow raised. âdonât even startâŠâ she warns, but youâre too busy watching him, a little fire kindling in your chest.
a moment later, a guy from your classâsomeone you vaguely know from group project slides onto the blanket beside you, cup in hand. âhey⊠mind if i sit?â he asks, smile tentative but friendly.
you glance at him, forcing a polite smile, trying to keep calm, trying to ignore the tight knot in your chest as your eyes flick back to jj. heâs leaning close to the new girl, laughing that careless, magnetic laugh, completely unaware of what heâs doing to you.
kie nudges your arm gently. âlook at him. heâs fine. youâre here too, and⊠well, heâs not the only option tonight.â
you shift your weight on the blanket, letting the warmth of the cup loosen your shoulders, the salty breeze tangling in your hair. aiden, the guy from your class, slides a little closer, holding his cup like heâs unsure how much space is polite.
âhey,â he says, smile hesitant but earnest. âdidnât expect to see you here tonight.â
you tilt your head, letting a small, teasing grin slip. âaiden, you should expect better by now. take a look at where my friends are at right now.â
he laughs, shaking his head. âhonestly, i always figured you and jj were⊠like, a thing? you know, everyone assumes things.â
your heart lurches at the mention of jj, a pang of jealousy shooting through you. âoh? everyone assumed wrong, apparently,â you say, sipping your cup and letting your words slur just enough from the buzz to sound playful.
aiden raises an eyebrow, leaning back on his hands in the sand. âreally? i mean⊠i always thought he had it in the bag with you. you guys just⊠belonged together.â
you snort softly, shaking your head, letting the alcohol loosen the tension. âwow, youâve got it all figured out, huh? well⊠maybe heâs too busy being oblivious.â you lean back, letting your hair fall over one shoulder, amusement lacing your voice.
aiden grins, clearly encouraged. âwell⊠i mean, if heâs not paying attention, maybe i can⊠uh, try? i donât know, i just figured iâd ask.â
you laugh softly, swirling your cup in your hands, trying not to let your pulse betray how twisted your stomach feels. âoh really? going for me while heâs off playing charming troublemaker with some random girl?â you tease, voice light, but your gaze drifts instinctively to jj.
heâs there, across the sand, leaning casually against a driftwood post, sun catching his hair, that crooked grin teasing the edges of the bonfire light. the sight of him makes your chest tighten, your fingers clench the cup. suddenly, aidenâs words hit differently. you realize, with a jolt, that you donât want him or anyone filling this space in front of you. you want jj.
and just like that, your amusement falters, replaced by a craving you canât ignore. your heart kicks against your ribs, your pulse quickens, and you realize you need him here. now. in front of you.
you blink, forcing a small, light laugh, trying to mask the sudden heat rising in your chest. âso⊠you really think you can handle me?â you murmur to aiden, letting the tease linger, but inside, the thought of jj standing there, making you feel this alive, refuses to leave.
he's not bad. his company is comforting, but when youâre mid-laugh at something aiden just said when movement at the edge of your vision catches you. jj.
heâs walking toward you across the sand, barefoot, the glow of the bonfire bouncing off his hair, that crooked grin stretched wider than ever. his eyes lock on you, and suddenly⊠the rest of the world seems to blur. aiden notices too, hesitation flashing across his face, and you feel a jolt of⊠satisfaction, tinged with guilt and adrenaline.
âwell, well,â jj drawls as he steps closer, voice low but carrying that teasing edge, âwhat do we have here? someone trying to steal my attention?â
your stomach twists, heat rushing to your cheeks. âi⊠no, heâs just talkingâŠâ you mumble, suddenly aware of how ridiculous that sounds, how flustered youâre becoming.
jj leans against the driftwood fence behind aiden, crossing his arms casually, but his grin is sharp, teasing. âtalking, huh? well, thatâs cute. but i think you should know⊠i donât really like anyone taking up my spot.â
aiden clears his throat, shifting back awkwardly. âuh⊠hey, iââ
ârelax,â jj interrupts smoothly, stepping closer until heâs right in front of you, gaze flicking briefly to aiden before snapping back to you. âheâs fine, donât worry about him. i just⊠wanted to make sure my girl isnât bored.â
your stomach does a backflip. my girl? the words hit differently than anything you expected. your pulse spikes, the warmth from the alcohol mixing with the sudden heat in your chest.
the words my girl echo in your head, each syllable a spark lighting a fire in your chest, and suddenly⊠youâre angry. not at him, not exactly but at the audacity, the way heâs standing there, claiming your attention, teasing you, making you feel both exhilarated and trapped.
âiâiâm fine,â you snap, voice tighter than you intended. before jj can react, you shove past him and aiden, sand crunching under your bare feet, and head straight toward where john b and pope are leaning against the driftwood, laughing at something you canât hear over the music.
you grab a fresh cup from the cooler near the fire, chugging a little too fast, letting the warmth spread through your chest, letting it mask the flustered heat jj left behind.
behind you, aiden watches, brow furrowed, trying to process what just happened. jj, still caught mid-step, freezes, confused.
âwaitâsheâs leaving?â he mutters, voice low, frustrated. he starts to move toward you, taking long strides through the sand, but aiden holds up a hand, blocking his path just slightly.
âlook, man,â aiden says, shrugging casually, tone smooth, like heâs stating the obvious. âsheâs been staring at you all night, even while sheâs talking to me. i thought maybe i could⊠change her mind. but uh⊠seems like not just yet.â
jj stops mid-stride, jaw tightening, chest rising and falling. âwhat the hell are you talking about?â
âiâm just saying,â aiden replies, hands raised in mock surrender, grin teasing. âiâm just saying. no conspiracy here, just⊠observation.â
jj glares at him for a long beat, sand shifting under his feet. his hand twitches like he wants to grab your arm and pull you back, but aiden stays put, calm, smug even.
âhuh. right,â jj mutters finally, irritation and disbelief mingling in his voice. he spins around, muttering under his breath as he stomps back toward the fire, clearly not used to⊠being talked back to like this.
you, meanwhile, sink down onto the blanket with john b and pope, taking a long sip from your cup, letting the music and the fire fill your senses. you can feel the alcohol loosening your limbs, dulling the edge of your frustration just enough to laugh at popeâs lame joke and john bâs exaggerated story.
from the corner of your eye, you catch jj watching you again, brow furrowed, lips pressed into that teasing half-smile he always wears when heâs plotting something.
and even though you try to act cool, sitting with your friends, you know exactly whatâs coming next and deep down, youâre not sure if youâre ready⊠or if you want to be.
you sink back against the blanket, heart hammering in your chest. the fire crackles behind you, the waves rolling gently onto the sand in the background, and for a second, itâs all too much. your hands grip your cup a little too tightly, knuckles white.
âhey,â john b murmurs, sliding closer, his hand brushing lightly against yours in a comforting gesture. pope leans over from the other side, resting a hand on your shoulder. âyou good?â
you groan, spinning your head to bury your face in your hands. âi⊠i donât know,â you admit, voice muffled. âhe⊠he just⊠ugh.â
pope snorts softly. âyeah, we saw that. dudeâs insane. teasing you like that?â
âhe has no clue,â john b adds, his tone soft but firm. âhe doesnât know what heâs doing to you, and itâs driving you nuts.â
you huff, leaning back against the blanket, staring at the fire, wishing you could just disappear into the warm, crackling flames. âiâm⊠so tired of waiting for him,â you mutter, letting the words hang in the air, bitter and raw.
both john b and pope glance over your shoulder instinctively, and you notice jj stepping closer through the crowd, casual as ever. his eyes lock on you for just a second, but then pope subtly lifts a hand, a quiet signal, and john b nods.
you frown, confused. âwhat?â you mutter, glancing between them. before you can say anything else, jj freezes, then ducks behind a group of girls, slipping out of view.
âwhat was that about?â you whisper, leaning forward, still shaken.
"nothing," john b says instantly.
pope smacks his arm with a "really?" expression. âhe was gonna come over,â pope's voice low, âbut⊠we didnât think it was a good idea. give you a sec.â
john b leans closer, tone gentle but teasing. âlook⊠youâre tired of waiting for him, yeah? but have you ever actually said anything?â
you blink at him, frowning. âno⊠obviously. iâve been waiting forever, just⊠hoping heâd see me, i guess.â
pope groans dramatically. ây/n, you canât wait forever. heâs⊠jj. heâs not a mind reader.â
âexactly,â john b adds, nudging you lightly. âand if you keep holding back, heâll keep doing what he does, thinking itâs all fine.â
you bite your lip, shaking your head, frustration and nerves coiling tighter. âi donât know if i canââ
âyes, you can,â pope interrupts, grabbing a cup from john b. âhere. drink this. let it loosen whateverâs stuck in that head of yours.â
you hesitate for a second, then lift the cup and chug, the bitter warmth hitting your stomach in a comforting rush. for a moment, itâs too much, and you collapse back on the blanket, screaming into the night, letting it all out: frustration, nerves, longing, everything.
john b chuckles, shaking his head. âwow. dramatic.â
pope laughs too, ruffling your hair lightly. âbut good. thatâs a start.â
you sit up again, hair tangled, cheeks flushed, and grin shakily. âalright⊠alright. youâre right. iâm done waiting. tonight⊠iâm telling him. i donât care what happens next, but heâs going to know.â
john b smirks, leaning back on the blanket. âthatâs what i like to hear. finally.â
pope grins, giving you a little fist bump. âabout time. now go make him realize heâs been playing with fire this whole time.â
you take a deep breath, letting the sand sink into your palms and the firelight warm your face, the waves rolling behind you like a quiet applause. tonight⊠tonight itâs your turn.
you grab jjâs arm without warning, tugging him through the crowd of classmates, the bonfireâs glow and the pounding music fading behind you. his eyebrows shoot up, surprise flickering across his face.
âheyâwhatâs theââ he starts, but you donât answer, dragging him down the sand, around a cluster of driftwood, toward a quieter stretch of the beach where the waves crash softly and the moonlight glimmers off the water.
finally, you stop, standing just far enough from the main kegger chaos that the music feels distant, the crowd reduced to shadowy shapes. you drop your arms and turn, chest heaving slightly from the adrenaline.
you donât say anything at first. just look at him, the tension in your jaw tight, fingers clenching at your sides, heart hammering in your ears.
jj tilts his head, noticing the silence, his grin faltering just slightly. âwow⊠quiet for once. thatâs⊠different,â he murmurs, taking a cautious step closer, eyes scanning your face like heâs trying to read every line, every flicker of emotion.
you fold your arms, keeping your gaze down, letting the tension simmer. âiâŠâ your voice catches, and you shake your head, frustrated at yourself. âi⊠canât.â
jjâs grin shifts, sharpening with a teasing edge, and he takes another step, narrowing the space between you. âcanât what? you gonna kill me or somethin' y/n?â he teases, voice low and deliberately close, letting his words brush against your skin.
you blink at him, heart hammering, and before you even think, you crash forward into him, arms flailing slightly as you stumble into his chest.
âmaybe i am!â you burst out, almost laughing through the frustration, pressing your face into his shirt. âmaybe i am, since iâve liked you since the third grade and you havenât a clue in the world and itâs driving me insane waiting for you to notice me backâlike, seriously, how do you not see me?!â
jj freezes for half a second, then bursts into that crooked-lopsided grin thatâs equal parts exasperated and amused. âohhh⊠so thatâs what all this was about,â he says, voice teasing, one hand sliding to steady your shoulders while the other presses lightly on your back.
you pull back slightly, staring at him with wide, frustrated eyes. âi mean, really! youâve been dicking around likeâlike you donât even know how much this is killing me, and youâre justââ
ââme?â he interrupts, mock-offended, raising an eyebrow. âsweetheart, i had no idea i was causing worldwide emotional chaos.â
you groan, flopping back against him dramatically. âwell congratulations! youâre a professional at it!â
he laughs, the sound deep and warm, and you canât help but get caught in it. âprofessional, huh? maybe i should put that on my resumeâŠâ he murmurs, leaning a little closer, grin teasing but eyes softening, watching you flail in equal parts annoyance and affection.
you huff, arms crossed over your chest as you slump into him again. âi swear, youâre impossible,â you mutter, but thereâs a laugh in your voice despite yourself.
âyeah, well,â he says, brushing a strand of hair from your face again, voice low, teasing, almost dangerous, âimpossible seems to suit you just fine too.â
and just like that, the chaos of the beach, the party, the crashing waves, all of it fades. thereâs only you, him, and the ridiculous, messy, utterly perfect way he makes your heart spinâand maybe, finally, the start of him noticing you back.
your words catch, your hands gripping his shoulders as you shove yourself closer, chest heaving. âis thereâis there any wayâthat you could⊠ever⊠feel the same?â
jj blinks, taken aback for just a second, before a slow grin spreads across his face. âfeel the same?â he echoes, voice low, teasing, dangerous.
you spin around in the sand, throwing your hands up in exasperation, yelling at him. âyes, you idiot! iâm asking if you could ever like me back instead of driving me insane!â
for a moment, the wind, the waves, the distant music of the keggerâit all fades. thereâs just you, trembling, yelling, full of frustration, nerves, and a little drunken courage, and jj standing there, watching, completely calm except for the amused glint in his eyes.
and then without a word he leans in.
his lips press against yours, firm and insistent, shutting you up instantly. the world spins sideways, your knees buckle slightly in the sand, and the chaos inside you melts into the warmth and weight of him.
you gasp into the kiss for a moment before he pulls back just enough to murmur, forehead resting against yours, âyouâve got my full attention⊠finally, you lunatic.â
your hands fumble to his chest, trying to process it, laughing breathlessly between kisses. âi⊠i canât believe you justââ
âshhh,â he interrupts, smirking against your lips again, âi said youâve got my attention. now quit yelling and let me do this properly.â
and just like that, the yelling, the frustration, the months of waitingâall of it is gone, replaced by the chaos of sand, waves, and the pure, messy, perfectly chaotic feeling of finally being his.
pairings áŻâŠâË bsf!jj maybank and fem!reader
summary áŻâŠâË heâs your best friend, your chaos, her touchy, flirty âjust friend.â until he reads the one thing sheâs never shown anyone⊠and suddenly everything changes.
word count áŻâŠâË 3.5k~
if there was one thing about you, it was that you never went anywhere without two things: your guard dog, jj maybank, and that dark red leather notebook that looked like it had been used to wipe the mouths of your friends. according to you, it was an empty notebook handed down from your great-great aunt, but everyone else thought it was a poor excuse for a writing instrument, barely hanging on to its last life.
you were stretched out on the beach, writing about your day, your feelingsâwhatever spilled out under the scorching carolina sunâall while wearing jjâs favorite bikini.
ây/n, babygirl,â jj called, already running toward you, grin loud and careless. âyouâre my favorite person in the whole world, but you seriously needa put that thing down and come hang with us.â
you shot upright immediately, scooting back like he wasnât supposed to be that close, notebook clutched to your chest. âjj, if you get my journal wet, i wonât hesitate to use it to waterboard you.â
he skidded to a stop, hands up in surrender. âyikes. iâve upset the missââ
you leveled him with a look.
ââthe friend,â he corrected quickly, smirking. ârelax. i like my lungs where they are.â
he dropped down beside you anyway, body still soaked, sand sticking to his skin like glue. he slid his sunglasses on, leaning just enough to try and make out what you were writing.
âwhatchu plottinâ âbout?â he asked, voice teasing. âif itâs about me, you donât gotta look down at that old thing when iâm right here.â
you scoffed, slipping the notebook into the ziplock bag you kept tucked inside your zipped shoulder bag.
âjayj, you wish iâd write about you.â
he grinned. âguess itâd be my last wish.â
you laughed as he helped you up. âand your first would beâŠ?â
for once, he didnât joke right away. he looked at youâ really looked at you and said, âfor you to be mine.â
it felt like a fuse went off in your chest.
you turned toward the ocean, where the others were splashing around, and started walking faster.
âdonât say stuff like that, jj.â
he blinked, caught off guard, scrambling to keep up with you. âwhat? you donât like it when i joke like that?â
âyeah,â you said, picking up speed. âbecause i wish you meant it.â
jj slowed, the words echoing louder than the waves.
he wasnât sure if you actually said it or if he just wanted you to have. and that little bit of doubt was enough to keep him from doing anything at all.
the walk back from the beach was quieter than usual. the others had run ahead, shouting and laughing, leaving you and jj trailing behind. sand stuck to your skin, your hair still salty, and the notebook was zipped safely in your bag. you hadnât spoken since⊠well, since earlier, and the silence felt heavy, almost suffocating, in a way that made jj fidget like he always did when heâd done something stupid.
âhey,â he muttered, sidling up beside you. you didnât respond. he cleared his throat. âlook⊠uh⊠sorry âbout before.â
still nothing.
so he leaned a little closer, arm brushing against yours casually, testing the waters. âi mean it,â he said, voice low, teasing. âdidnât mean to ruin the mood or whatever.â
you scoffed, keeping your gaze straight ahead. âsure,â you muttered, forcing it to sound neutral.
he grinned. âyeah, thatâs what i thought.â
you shot him a glare, but your chest betrayed you, fluttering anyway. jj noticed. of course he did. he took a deliberate step closer. âyou know, you could talk to me, you know?â he teased. âor are you just gonna pretend you hate me forever?â
âiâm not pretending,â you replied tightly, âiâm ignoring you.â
âoh, so iâm being punished, huh?â he said, voice playful. he draped his arm over your shoulder slowly, letting it rest there lightly, just casual enough that it felt like nothing, but close enough that your arm brushed against his.
you stiffened. âjjââ
âwhat? itâs just me,â he said, grinning, leaning closer so his chest almost touched yours. âand you like it.â
âi donât,â you snapped, rolling your eyes, trying to pull away subtly.
he tightened his arm slightly anyway, letting his hand brush the side of yours as you held your bag. âsure, sure,â he said softly, voice low, teasing, almost conspiratorial. âwhatever you say, babygirl. but youâre smiling.â
you huffed, unable to deny it, and tried to straighten your posture. he mirrored you perfectly, leaning in just enough to make it impossible to ignore him. âsee?â he whispered, close enough that his breath tickled your ear. âi knew it.â
you tried to step away, but he followed your movement, arm never leaving your shoulder. âjjâstop,â you said, though your voice cracked.
âstop what?â he teased, brushing your hair back from your face. âtouching you? asking you to forgive me? making you laugh?â
âall of it,â you muttered, finally letting some of the tension slip because, god, he was relentless. and you could never, ever stay mad at him for long.
jj smirked, leaning just a little more, pressing close enough that your side rubbed against his. âthought so,â he murmured. âbut you look way too good mad. way too good.â
you laughed, exhaling, finally letting your guard drop. âyouâre impossible.â
âyep,â he said proudly, giving your shoulder a little squeeze. âand you love it.â
as you set your bag down on the sand, he moved behind you without warning. his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you gently against his chest. warm. solid. grounding.
âcan you forgive me?â he whispered, low and intimate, chin resting just at the nape of your neck so only you could hear him.
you closed your eyes for a moment, taking in the closeness, the familiar weight of him. âyeah,â you whispered back.
jj smiled against your shoulder, and before you could even think, he pressed a small, soft peck thereâ gentle, fleeting, and perfectly him.
he held you for a little longer, letting the waves and the wind wash over you both, knowing the tension had finally melted, but also knowing this was just the beginning of something neither of you were ready to admit.
by the time you all got back to the chateau, jj was already bouncing on the balls of his feet, grinning like heâd won something. âalright,â he said, sprinting ahead of everyone else. ây/n, you get to shower first. youâre mad at me, and thatâs only fair.â
âhuh,â pope and kie said in sync.
john b groaned the loudest of all. âitâs my house, manââ
jj stopped mid-step and shot them all a lookâsharp, steady, impossible to argue with. pope froze, kie blinked, john bâs jaw tightened. suddenly, their protests faltered, voices caught in their throats. they straightened, pretending none of it had been said, like the look had rewritten reality.
jj turned back briefly, giving you a smug little grin. âsee? iâve still got it under control.â
you just shook your head, muttering something about him being impossible, and headed inside. you left your beach bag on the porch, unzipped, sand shaking lightly from the bottom, and turned toward the bathroom.
the other three sat on the couch, exchanging confused looks while jj began pacing back and forth like a man with a mission.
john b finally spoke up. âuh⊠you good over there, j?â
âso,â jj began, pacing a little faster, âearlier, when we were walkinâ down to the water from the shore⊠she said somethinâ. kinda quiet. maybe i didnât hear it right, maybe i did, maybe it was just in my headâbut it stuck with me. sounded like⊠she wished i meant somethinâ i said. somethinâ about⊠feelings.â
pope rolled his eyes, kie scrunched her face in disgust, and john b pressed his lips together, silent. the room was quiet, the air thick, and jj glanced at them, grinning, seeing exactly how confused they were.
âwhat?â
kie sighed out loud, and john b let out a long breath. âalright⊠whatâs your plan, big guy?â
jj stopped pacing and faced them, eyes glinting. âalright, hereâs the plan,â he said, voice low but full of mischief. âkie, i need you to get y/n to come with you. as soon as possible. take her to your place, make her stay there for a whileâdonât worry about her stuff.â
kie blinked. âwait⊠what?â
âtrust me,â jj said with a grin. âshe doesnât need to know the rest. just tell her we went out for food or somethinââshe wonât question it.â
pope leaned back, rubbing his face. âand⊠what are the rest of us supposed to do while sheâs gone?â
jj smirked, walking toward the couch like he owned the plan. âjohn b, you, and meâweâre hiding in your room. gonna wait it out, keep an eye on things. itâs delicate, okay? requires⊠patience, observation, precision.â
john b groaned, flopping back into the cushions. âof course it does. because nothing about this could ever be simple.â
âexactly,â jj said, arms crossed, grinning like he already had it all figured out. ânow go, kie. mission starts now.â
kie let out a long sigh, looking at pope and john b, then finally shook her head. âfine⊠but i swear, if this blows up in our facesâŠâ
jj cut her off with a wink. ânah, itâs gonna be perfect. just⊠follow orders, yeah?â
pope muttered under his breath, âi hate following orders from this manâŠâ
jj just grinned, already plotting in his head. âyouâll thank me later.â
jj, john b, and pope huddled in john bâs room, the blinds pulled down tight. jj was practically vibrating with excitement, pacing back and forth.
âalright, boys,â he whispered, voice low but full of mischief, âhereâs the thing⊠iâm gonna read her journal.â
pope choked on a breath. âwait, what?â
john bâs eyes went wide. âdude. you cannot be serious.â
jj held up a hand, grinning. ârelax. i didnât tell kie. she would never let me do it. so i gotta do this while sheâs gone. itâs strategic. top-secret. 100% necessary.â
pope groaned, burying his face in his hands. âstrategic? top-secret? itâs her journal, jj! thatâs like⊠private!â
john b shook his head, whisper yelling. âand youâre sitting here casually plotting to read it? bro, this is messed up!â
jj leaned against the wall, smirking. âyeah, yeah, i get it. but itâs important. i need to know⊠yâknow, the truth. if she actually feels the same way about me, it might be in there. it could answer everything.â
pope let out an incredulous laugh. âeverything? everything doesnât give you the right to invade her privacy, man.â
âok, ok!â jj interrupted, waving them off. âweâre on the same team here. trust me. just⊠hush a second.â
they all paused, whisper yelling and gesturing frantically at each other while trying not to wake anyone else in the house. chaos in miniature.
and then, suddenly, they heard it: the hurried footsteps of kie and y/n moving through the hall, soft curses from kie, the rustle of bags, and finally⊠the unmistakable roar of kieâs car engine as she pulled away from the chateau.
jj froze mid-step, a grin spreading across his face. âalright, boys⊠missionâs live.â
pope groaned again, muttering, âi hate this so much.â
john b just shook his head, muttering, âwhy did i even agree to thisâŠâ
jj ignored them both, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. âcome on, letâs grab the bag. the rest of this is gonna be epic.â
pope groaned louder. âepic. sure. yeah, epic.â
john b muttered something unintelligible like "y/n's gonna beat our asses if she finds out", but jj didnât care. he was already plotting, already imagining flipping open that dark red notebook and finally seeing what you really thought about him.
carefully lifted the dark red leather notebook, flipping it open like it was a treasure map.
at first, it was⊠nothing too interesting. random scribbles about school, homework heâd never read, lists of shows or movies she wanted to watch. he smirked, pretending to be bored, but kept turning pages.
then, suddenly, a flashback hit him. a party from last summer, one of those nights where theyâd both been drunk on laughter, sitting on the edge of the pier. the words leapt off the page: âjj was being ridiculous as usual, teasing me, making everyone laugh. i think i like him more than i should. god, why is he always so⊠him?â
his chest tightened a little. okay, that was⊠something.
he kept reading. every page started to pull him in deeper. notes about school projects, then little doodles of him and her, inside jokes no one else would get, moments from hangouts, the way she described him leaning back on a car hood, the way he made her laugh so hard she couldnât breathe. small things, fleeting thingsâbut they were all about him.
then he froze. one entry made his stomach twist.
âi canât stand it when jj hooks up with other girls. like⊠he treats me like iâm the only one, but then⊠then heâs not. i try to get with other guys sometimes, hoping itâll make him jealous, hoping heâll notice me. i donât even know if itâs working. maybe itâs not worth it anymore. maybe iâll just wait. wait for him to make a move.â
jjâs heart started hammering in his chest. the notebook nearly slipped from his hands. his smirk faded. this was⊠bigger than he expected. bigger than teasing. bigger than anything heâd ever thought.
he flipped ahead, and thenâtodayâs entry. he held his breath, reading slowly, careful not to miss a single word:
âi wish heâd stop joking like he does. stop pretending like heâs just messing around. stop fake flirting like itâs nothing. maybe then⊠maybe then i could move on, maybe then i wouldnât feel like iâm stuck here waiting. god, why is it always him? why canât he just⊠be real?â
jjâs chest tightened. his grin vanished entirely. his hands trembled slightly as he pressed the notebook to his face, leaning back against the wall. he could feel itâthe weight of every laugh, every inside joke, every little moment theyâd shared, all piling up into one undeniable truth. she was waiting for him. she had been waiting, quietly, all this time.
pope cleared his throat. âdude⊠you reading all that?â
jj didnât answer. he couldnât. he was frozen in place, heart hammering, mind racing. he looked down at the notebook again, at the words sheâd written today, and for the first time, the teasing, flirty part of him⊠disappeared. all he could think about was her.
and god, he had to fix this.
jj carefully closed the dark red notebook and slid it back into the bag, exactly where he found it. he ran a hand through his hair, grinning like heâd just discovered gold. he turned to pope and john b, his eyes sparkling.
âsoâŠâ pope said, raising an eyebrow.
âwhat?â john b added, already sensing trouble.
jjâs grin widened, and suddenly he couldnât hold it in. âshe actually likes me back!â he screamed, throwing his arms in the air, jumping around the room. âshe actually likes me back! oh my god! oh my god!â
pope and john b burst out laughing, shaking their heads, and then joined in, cheering, high-fiving him. âabout time, man!â pope yelled.
âfinally!â john b added, mock groaning but grinning ear to ear. âbeen waitinâ for you to figure that out forever.â
jj blinked, confused for a second. âwait⊠what do you mean?â
âwe all knew it,â pope said, still laughing. âliterally everyone.â
âexcept⊠you two,â john b added, smirking. âyou and y/n had no clue.â
jjâs jaw dropped, then he threw his hands up, whooping and jumping around the room. âare you serious? no way!â
pope laughed so hard he doubled over. âyeah, man, youâve been blind this whole time!â
john b shook his head, still grinning. âand sheâs been sitting there, dropping hints, waiting for you to actually notice.â
jj spun in place, still screaming, laughing, heart racing. âoh my god⊠this is insane! i canât believe it! oh hell yeah!â
pope and john b joined in the cheering, high-fiving him and whooping along. jj just stood there for a second, grinning like a kid who just won the lottery, realizing⊠finally, he could actually make his move.
you and kie finally walked back into the chateau, beach bags in tow, the sun still warm on your skin. you expected noise, laughter, maybe the smell of food cooking. instead⊠silence.
âuhâŠwhat the fuck? whereâs the food?â you asked, glancing around the living room.
kie froze beside you, eyes going wide. she didnât even look at the room, just at the boys.
the three of them: pope, john b, and jj were sitting there, perfectly still, like statues. not a word. not a sound.
you furrowed your brow. âguys? hello?â
still nothing. your eyes shifted across the room until you noticed it⊠everyone was staring at jj.
he sat there for a moment, smirking faintly, like a predator waiting for the perfect moment. then, suddenly, he stood, towering over you. before you could react, he scooped you up over his shoulder effortlessly.
âjj! hey! put me downââ
ânah,â he said, voice low, teasing but serious. âi need to talk to you. now.â
kie gasped, taking a step back, hands flying to her mouth. âohhhhhhh no,â she whispered.
âjj, what the hell!â you protested, kicking lightly.
ânot a chance,â he said, grin stretching across his face. âi promise, itâs important.â
you squirmed, trying to see what pope and john b were doing, but they were just sitting there, silent, watching with unreadable expressions.
âwhat the hell is going on?â you demanded, but jj didnât answer. he just tightened his hold slightly, careful but firm, and started walking toward the dock.
âokay⊠this is weird,â you muttered, muffled against his back. âreally weird.â
jj didnât say anything else, just laughed under his breath, a soft, dangerous chuckle that made your heart skip. âyeah⊠weird, but necessary,â he whispered, almost to himself.
and thatâs when you realized⊠whatever was about to happen, it wasnât going to be ordinary.
jj carried you down to the dock, the boards creaking under his feet. the sun was setting, a fiery gradient of dark orange fading into deep blue, painting the water in golds and purples. the light caught his hair just right, and you realized youâd never seen him look⊠soft, somehow, even when he was being a little chaotic.
âso,â he said, setting you down on the edge of the dock, one arm lazily draped over your shoulders. âyou having fun today?â
âhmm,â you said, leaning back slightly, pretending to be casual. âas much fun as being kidnapped and carried like a sack of sand can be.â
he laughed, grinning down at you. âhey, thatâs part of the experience. exclusive jj maybank package deal. includes⊠me, charm, and questionable flirting.â
you rolled your eyes, smirking. âoh god, i can hardly resist.â
he nudged you gently with his shoulder, playful. âso⊠speaking of flirtingâŠâ his grin turned sly. âhow would you feel if i read your journal?â
you stiffened, a laugh escaping your lips despite yourself. âjj⊠haha, you wouldnât.â
âohâŠâ he said, leaning closer, eyes glinting, âwell⊠i did.â
you froze. âwait⊠what?â
âi did,â he said again, voice low, urgent. âevery word. everything. the little doodles, the flashbacks, the⊠how you feel about me.â
your heart started hammering. âjjââ
he cut you off, grabbing your hands, looking straight into your eyes, his tone frantic but honest. âiâve been stupid. iâve been a mess. i joked, i messed around, i didnât take you seriously⊠but i shouldâve. iâve felt it for months, y/n. i like you. i really like you. more than anything. more than joking. more than teasing. iâi canât⊠i canât keep pretending i donât. please, just⊠just know that.â
you stood there, stunned, your chest tight, eyes wide. the sun dipped lower, the sky bleeding into blues and purples, the water shimmering like molten glass around you both.
then⊠slowly, you stepped closer, your arms wrapping around him. he stiffened for a second, then melted into the hug, holding you tighter, chin resting on your shoulder.
you pulled back just slightly, looking up at him, and pressed your lips to his in a soft, perfect kiss. his hands cupped your face, holding you close, as if heâd been waiting his whole life for this.
when you finally pulled back to breathe, he rested his forehead against yours, grinning shakily. âso⊠thatâs official, right? you'll be mine?â
you laughed softly, heart still racing. âfinally, yours.â
jj smirked, still holding you, eyes sparkling with mischief and relief. âoh, so now we can never be normal friends again. got it.â
you rolled your eyes, but couldnât stop smiling. âyeah⊠donât worry. iâll survive.â
and for the first time that day, standing on the dock as the last light faded into twilight, you both just⊠fit.
authors note áŻâŠâË not my picture! credits go to: @/sunbeachfly found on pinterest
pairings áŻâŠâË bsf!jj maybank x sweetheart!reader
summary áŻâŠâË car washing with the pogues, summer heat, and jj maybank doing what he does best: protecting you at all cost.
word count áŻâŠâË 2.8k~
jj maybank never said no to you.
not in the way that mattered.
sure, he might groan about it, drag his feet, swear up and down that you were gonna be the death of him one dayâbut he always did what you asked. always showed up. always stayed. even when it was inconvenient, even when it cost him sleep, money, or a little bit of pride. if it was you asking, it was already a yes. everyone knew it. jj knew it. he just didnât bother fighting it anymore.
you werenât like the rest of the kooks, but you werenât cut either. you existed somewhere in the middleâclose enough to understand both worlds, far enough to belong to neither. your family wasnât rich, but your house wasnât falling apart. you had rules, but not so many that you couldnât sneak out. you wore hand-me-downs and thrifted clothes, but somehow always looked put together. to jj, you felt⊠safe. like a place he could land without being reminded of everything he didnât have.
you and jj had always been close. not loudly, not dramaticallyâjust naturally. like you gravitated toward each other without even trying. heâd sit closer to you than anyone else, lean into your space, rest his arm behind you without thinking. when the group split up, he always ended up at your side. it was instinct, muscle memory, something deeper than friendship but softer than something he knew how to name.
jj thought you were the most adorable person in the world.
genuinely. painfully.
the way you scrunched your nose when you laughed. the way you said his name like it was the easiest thing in the world to love him. the way you looked up at him with those big, hopeful eyes whenever you wanted something, like you truly believed heâd come through for you. and the worst part? he always did.
he couldnât keep his hands off you. not in a way that felt wrongâjust⊠constant. a hand on your shoulder as he passed by. fingers brushing yours when he handed you something. tugging you closer by the wrist, spinning you around just to hear you laugh. sometimes heâd rest his chin on your head, or pat it absentmindedly like it was the most natural thing in the world. you never flinched. never pulled away. and that alone made his chest ache in ways he didnât understand.
anything you did felt amplified to him.
everything you did mattered.
and if jj maybank had a weaknessâ one thing in this world that could undo him completely, it was you, smiling at him like he was someone worth trusting.
the chateau is melting.
not literally, but the air inside is thick, unmoving, heavy with heat and the faint smell of sunscreen and old wood. the fan in the corner rattles uselessly, blowing warm air around like itâs trying its best and failing miserably.
john b is stretched across the couch, shirt abandoned somewhere on the floor, one leg hanging off the armrest. âiâm not even kidding,â he groans, dragging a hand down his face. âi think iâm gonna pass out.â
âyou say that every time it hits ninety,â pope says, sitting on the floor with his back against the coffee table, scrolling through his phone.
âyeah, and every time i mean it.â
kiaraâs curled sideways in the armchair by the window, sunglasses still on even though sheâs inside, iced tea sweating in her hand. âwe should go to the beach,â she says lazily. âor the backyard. or literally anywhere with water.â
the screen door creaks as you push it open.
conversation dies instantly.
the heat has already kissed your skin, leaving your cheeks lightly flushed. your hair is pulled back in a loose half-up, secured with a simple clip, the rest falling freely down your back. a few strands have slipped loose, curling softly around your face and sticking to the back of your neck from the warmth.
youâre wearing denim shortsâsoft, worn-in, sitting higher on your thighs than usual, short enough that itâs immediately noticeable. the yellow babydoll top is light and airy, fabric thin and slightly sheer in the sunlight, the hem floating away from your body when you move. itâs simple, sweet, unmistakably you and somehow that makes it hit harder.
the room goes quiet.
john b lowers his arm. pope looks up from his phone. kiara tips her sunglasses down just enough to get a better look.
everyone kind of stares.
not in a weird way. just⊠surprised.
jj, though?
jj lights up.
heâs on his feet before anyone says a word, grin already spreading across his face like he just won the lottery. âwell damn,â he says, loud and unapologetic, eyes dragging over you without even pretending to hide it. âwhatâd i do to deserve this blessing today, huh?â
he crosses the room in three long strides and grabs your hands, spinning you once, twice, your laugh cutting through the stagnant air. the hem of your top flutters, sunlight flashing across your legs, and jjâs hands settle at your waist a beat longer than necessary when he finally stops you.
âlook at you,â he adds, softer now, head tilting as he grabs your hand and spins you to checks you out again like heâs committing the sight to memory. âabsolutely killinâ it.â
you smile, a little bashful, like you have no idea why everyoneâs acting so weird, and that somehow makes it worse for him.
john b lets out a low whistle. kiara raises her eyebrows over the rim of her sunglasses. pope shakes his head, muttering something about this guy.
jj doesnât care.
heâs still looking at you like the rest of the room doesnât exist, thumb brushing lightly over your knuckles as if he forgot heâs even holding your hands. âseriously,â he says, shaking his head with a crooked grin. âyou canât just walk in here like that. you got this look on your face that you're scared to ask me something.â
you tilt your head up at jj, sunlight catching the loose strands of hair that fell forward from your halfâup style, and say it like itâs the most casual thing in the world:
âso⊠since you always do the twinkie⊠could you help me wash my car later?â
for a beat, time sort of pauses.
jjâs grin falters just a littleâ that exact moment where he wants to pretend heâs annoyed but canât keep the amusement out of his eyes.
âgirlâŠâ he starts, that drawl so familiar, âyou serious right now?â
you nod silently with a smile painted on your face.
âyou really wanna do that in this heat?"
you blink up at him, completely earnest. âwell⊠itâs actually kind ofââ
ââhot?â jj interrupts with a smirk.
ââyeah,â you finish with a little laugh. âbut thatâs why i figured if anyone can make it fun itâd be you.â
pogues immediately perk up.
john b raises an eyebrow from the couch. âmake it fun? what kind of âfunâ are we talking here?â
pope snickers, âbecause last time fun involved way too much ice and somebody almost dumping a cooler on kieâs head.â
âcâmon, jay,â john b says from the couch, one brow raised, iced tea sweating in his hand. âyou heard her. donât leave her hanging.â
âyeah,â pope laughs, leaning forward a little, âyouâre not gonna let her wash it with marsh water and old rags, are you?â
kiara just smirks at jj, like sheâs quietly studying him and already knows exactly how this is gonna go.
jj holds your gaze for a beat longerâ like he's trying to decide if you're being cute or if you're plotting something absolutely ridiculous.
ây/n,â he says, this time with a slow grin, âyou know iâm gonna do it just because you asked, right?â
you blink, totally innocent, like that wasnât obvious to everyone in the room.
âwell⊠i mean⊠yeah?â
jjâs eyes flick back to youâ and just like that, he sighs, a long, exaggerated thing that couldâve been annoyed but honestly sounds fond.
âalright, fine,â he says, hands in the air, âbut you owe me big time. i could die of heat stroke out there.â
you brighten immediatelyâ a soft, pure little smile and before you even think about it, your arms have looped around his neck in a tight, grateful squeeze.
âthank you!!â you whisper, voice all warm and happy.
for a second, jj just stands there, frozen, maybe because he didnât expect a hug, maybe because you smelled like sunscreen and summer air and home, and then, almost gently, he hugs you back, one arm around your waist, like itâs the most natural thing in the world.
the sun feels softer outside, still warm but gentle now that youâre out in the open air. you grab the hose with a little nervous excitement, watching water arch through sunlight like tiny rainbows before it hits the driveway. jj steps up beside you, buckets of suds and sponges waiting at your feet, and somehow it already feels like the most perfect summer afternoon.
everyone else is settled in their beach chairs nearby, iced drinks in hand, sunglasses on, content to be spectators to whatever mess you and jj are about to make. kie leans back with those big shades tilted just right, sipping slowly like sheâs watching a movie she knows will get good. pope has one foot propped over the other, already laughing every time jj makes some ridiculous comment about how suds âoffend his personal space.â john b, on the couch with his iced tea, has apparently appointed himself official car wash commentator, offering dramatic, unsolicited tips like this whole thing is a televised event.
youâre in your oneâpiece nowâ pastel and sweet, the straps occasionally slipping just a bit when you stretch over the car and the way the light catches your hair makes it glow around your face. jj glances at you, smirk tugging at his mouth, then reaches over and pats your head like itâs the cutest thing in the world. âloving the new suit, baby,â he says, voice warm and teasing. âyou look so adorable.â
you turn toward him with this soft little smile, cheeks warmed by the compliment and the heat and everything in between, a shy happiness that feels just right in the moment. your hair, loosely halfâup with a few curled strands stubbornly framing your face, bobs with the movement, catching the sun like itâs part of the whole golden scene.
and just like that, the hose in your hand, the suds glistening, the sounds of laughter and warm summer air wrapped around youâ it hits you how perfect this kind of afternoon feels: sunlight, friends, warmth, laughter, and him right there beside you, easy and soft and right.
the pogues have basically claimed their lawn chairs like itâs the worldâs slowest, most chaotic frontârow show. kieâs perched back in her seat, oversized sunglasses on, iced tea in hand while popeâs already cracking jokes about how jjâs âsuds intensityâ might be a threat to national safety. john bâs lounging with his drink propped against his stomach, offering commentary like heâs the unofficial host of car wash irl, but honestly, none of them even come close to whatâs actually happening between you and jj.
youâre bent over the hood of your car, sponge in hand, sunlight catching the pastel of your oneâpiece and turning everything golden around you. your hair is still that soft, loose halfâup, strands nudging against your neck in the warmth, and every so often you tilt your head just a littleâ enough for jj to notice.
âhere,â jj says beside you, voice low and a little rough from laughing too much already. he places his hand over yours on the sponge, guiding the motion like itâs nothing. his fingers are warm, and for a second, thereâs this pauseâ not awkward, just⊠close. the kind of moment where the sun feels softer and everything sounds just a little quieter except for him.
âsuds first,â he murmurs against your ear, tone low enough that you feel it in your chest, not just your ears.
you blink up at him through lashes that catch the light, and for a second your cheeks heatâ not from the sun, but because heâs that close, and the world feels warm and contained between his shoulder and yours.
you try to focus on the car⊠but suds slide off the sponge and down your hand, and jjâs thumb brushes against your wrist as he readjusts. thereâs this soft electricity to how natural it feelsâ like a familiar pull you didnât even realize was there until itâs right beside you.
âokayâŠâ you say, voice a little breathy, âsuds first.â
he smirks, eyes flashingâ not with sarcasm, but something softer, almost like pride. âyeah,â he says, voice low, âthatâs the way.â
the way the sun hits his face makes every warmth in the world feel pointed directly at you, and his hand lingers just a heartbeat longer on yours before he pulls backâ not far, just enough that you can still feel his energy there.
it starts with a suspicious amount of quiet.
youâre rinsing suds off the hood, hose arcing clean water over the paint, when jj squints toward the porch. âwhy are they being so quiet,â he mutters. âthatâs never good.â
you barely have time to turn beforeâ
SPLASH.
ice-cold water smacks against your side, soaking your ribs and making you gasp. a second later, another wave hits jj square in the chest.
âOHâABSOLUTELY NOT,â jj yells, jumping back as pope stands up from his chair holding a red cup absolutely packed with ice water, laughing way too hard.
john bâs already halfway across the yard with another cup. âcommentary break!â he shouts. âintroducing: pogue car wash EXTREME!â
kie doesnât even get up â she just casually flicks her wrist and sends a perfect splash your way, iced tea cup long abandoned for something far colder. âyou two looked way too comfortable,â she says sweetly. âhad to fix that.â
you squeal, stumbling back as freezing water soaks your swimsuit, the shock of it ripping a laugh out of you whether you want it to or not. âKIEââ
the click of the hose.
jjâs head snaps up. âoh no.â
john b is already grinning like a menace, hands tight around the nozzle as he cranks it open. âladies and gentlemen,â he announces, âthe main event.â
the hose erupts.
a powerful stream of water shoots straight toward you.
you barely have time to gasp before jj moves.
âHEYâ!â he shouts, but his bodyâs already in motion.
he grabs you by the waist and yanks you behind him in one smooth pull, turning his back fully to the spray as he wraps both arms around you, tucking you tight against his chest. your face presses into his shoulder, your hands clutching his sides as the water slams into him full-force.
cold spray explodes everywhere.
âJOHN B!â jj yells, half-laughing, half-yelling as the hose pounds into his back. âWHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?â
you squeak, laughing and shrieking at the same time, fingers fisting in his soaked shirt. âJAYâITâS SO COLD!â
âI KNOW,â he shouts back, tightening his hold on you, feet planted wide so you donât slip. âI GOT YOUâYOUâRE GOODââ
water runs down his neck, his hair plastered to his forehead, shirt completely drenched, but he doesnât budge. he leans forward just a little, like a human shield, taking every hit so you donât have to.
pope is losing it, bent over laughing. âBRO IS SACRIFICING HIMSELF.â
kie finally stands up, laughing so hard she has to wipe her eyes. âjj you look like a soggy golden retriever!â
john b keeps spraying, cackling. âthis is cinema!â
the force of the water makes you both stumble a step back and you yelp, instinctively clinging tighter.
âWOAHââ you squeal.
jj immediately locks his arms around you. âNOPEâNOT FALLINâ TODAY,â he yells, laughing like a maniac. âI GOT YOU, SWEETHEART!â
finally, kie shouts, âOKAY, OKAY, CUT ITââ and pope lunges for the hose, wrestling it down as the spray shoots straight into the air, raining back over the driveway.
the water cuts off.
for half a second, everything is dripping silence.
then you and jj just lose it.
youâre laughing so hard you can barely breathe, forehead pressed into his chest as water drips from both of you. jj throws his head back, laughing loud and wild, still hugging you like he forgot how to let go.
âworth it,â he wheezes.
âabsolutely worth it,â you laugh, still half-screaming as another giggle rips out of you.
around you, the pogues are yelling, laughing, soaked, pointing at jj like he didnât just volunteer as a human shield.
and jj? jj just squeezes you tighter, laughing and yelling right along with you, soaking wet, chaos everywhere, summer ringing loud in the air â and for him, thereâs nowhere else heâd rather be.
pairings áŻâŠâË bf!jj maybank x fem!routledge!reader
summary áŻâŠâË you catch john bâs cold and lose your mind. your boyfriend has to survive your princess-level stubbornness, flying water bottles, and chaos just to get you to take your medicine.
word count áŻâŠâË 3.3k~
you never got sick.
it was almost unfair, honestly. growing up at the chateau, surrounded by saltwater, questionable food choices, and boys who never washed their hands, you shouldâve had the immune system of a victorian child, but somehow, you never even got a sniffle. not once. not when the pogues passed around colds like party favors. not when john b got wiped out by whatever beach plague heâd picked up.
and john b never got sick either.
which was why, three days ago, when he started coughing and sneezing and dramatically announcing that he was âliterally on deathâs door,â youâd known the universe was playing some kind of long, cruel joke.
by day four, he was fine.
you woke up that morning already annoyed.
the ceiling fan spun lazily above you, and for a split second, everything felt normal...until you swallowed.
pain shot down your throat.
you groaned, eyes squeezing shut as your head started pounding, the dull ache spreading behind your eyes like it was claiming territory. your body felt heavy, sore in a way that made even rolling onto your side feel like too much effort.
no. nope. absolutely not.
you lay there for a moment, staring at the ceiling, and then it hit you.
john b.
your older brother. patient zero. the man who had coughed openly in shared spaces, stolen sips from your drinks, and had the audacity to say, ârelax, itâs just a cold.â
âoh, iâm going to kill him,â you muttered.
you dragged yourself out of bed, hair a mess, wearing one of jjâs hoodies becauseâyesâyou liked being comfortable, and yes, you expected everyone around you to accommodate that.
your princess treatment wasnât something you asked for; it was something people naturally gave you. john b cooked when you were tired. jj carried things for you without being asked. pope handed you the better chair. it wasnât your fault you had standards.
you stormed down the hall and into john bâs room, where he was sprawled out, dead asleep, looking infuriatingly peaceful for someone who had ruined your immune system.
without hesitation, you grabbed the half-full plastic water bottle from his nightstand and hurled it at his head.
it bounced off his shoulder.
âOWâwhat the hell?â john b groaned, rolling onto his stomach.
âyou got your dirty and NASTY germs on me,â you snapped. âand now iâm sick.â
john b didnât even turn around.
he buried his face into his pillow, already regretting every life choice that had led to this moment. please donât let her be actually sick, he thought. please let this just be a dramatic episode of nonsense.
âjohn b,â you said sharply. âiâm serious.â
âwhat do you want me to do?â he groaned, voice muffled.
your nose burned. your throat tightened. you sniffled and then, right on cue, your eyes filled with tears. crying on command was a skill youâd mastered years ago. Some people thought it was unhinged. you beg to differ...
the sound of your sniffles made John B sigh in defeat.
âugh,â he muttered, pushing himself upright.
he finally looked at you.
and immediately knew he was screwed.
your eyes were glossy. your cheeks were flushed. you looked small in jjâs hoodie, arms crossed like you were holding yourself together. not dramatic. not fake.
sctually sick.
âyikes,â he said quietly. âokay⊠yeah. you look rough.â
âyeah,â you said, voice wobbling just enough to twist the knife. âand I donât have medicine.â
john b rubbed his face. deep breaths. stay calm. donât escalate.
âjust go back to sleep,â he said carefully. âitâll blow over in like three days. todayâs my fourth day and i feel a hundred percent better.â
âiâm hurting right now,â you shot back. âand youâre supposed to take care of me.â
that was it.
john b groaned, already reaching for his phone. âugh. iâm calling jj.â
âno.â
âyes.â
âno, absolutely not.â
âgod, this is literally your fault,â you snapped, already turning away. âyou should be the one taking care of meâwhat is wrong with you?â
you slammed your bedroom door shut just as you heard his muffled, resigned, âjj,â through the wall.
you screamed into your pillow.
and then, exhausted and aching, you passed out.
the front door of the chateau creaked open an hour later.
jj maybank stepped inside with a plastic grocery bag swinging from his hand, the paper rustling with every step. he smelled like saltwater and sunscreen, hair still damp, boots landing softly against the floor. heâd stolen most of the contents from the convenience storeâ crackers, tissues, orange juice, cold medicine he didnât recognize but hoped worked.
he paused just inside the doorway, scanning the quiet house.
ââŠshe asleep?â he asked.
john b appeared from the kitchen, arms crossed, already bracing himself. âyeah. for now.â
jj nodded, jaw tightening a little. okay. easy. you got this.
john b glanced down the hall toward your room. âjustâuh. proceed with caution.â
jj frowned. âthe fuck does that mean?â
âit means,â john b said slowly, âyou know how she is.â
jj huffed a quiet laugh. âyeah. princess treatment, attitude for days, dramatic when sheâs mildly inconvenienced.â
john b winced. âyeah, but....sheâs actually sick this time.â
that wiped the smile off jjâs face.
âoh...,â he said. "like⊠sick-sick?â
john b nodded. âthroat, headache, body aches. and sheâs in one of those moods.â
jj exhaled, shifting the bag in his hand. great. cool. fantastic.
heâd faced cops, drug dealers, and actual life-threatening situations, but a sick, stubborn you? that scared him a little more.
he knocked once on your door.
nothing.
jj hesitated, hand hovering over the doorknob. okay. be gentle. be helpful. donât piss her off. he twisted the knob and pushed the door open slowly.
your room was dim, curtains pulled tight, the afternoon light barely sneaking through the edges. you were curled up in bed, tangled in blankets, hair spread messily across the pillow. jjâs hoodie swallowed you whole.
his chest softened instantly.
âhey,â he said quietly, stepping inside. âbaby?â
you didnât move.
jj set the bag down on the floor and leaned over, resting his hand on your shoulder. âcâmon, princess. i brought you stuff.â
you stirred just enough to shove him hard in the chest.
he laughed under his breath, rubbing his side. âyou still got your fight in ya. thatâs good, right?â
âno,â you muttered, turning away from him. âgo away.â
jj crouched beside the bed, undeterred. âi brought snacks. and juice. andââ
âno.â
âand medicine.â
absolutely not.
you shot upright just long enough to glare at him. âi am not taking that.â
âyou havenât even seen it yet.â
âi donât need to,â you snapped. âit tastes gross and pills get stuck in my throat and Iâm not doing it.â
jj sighed, already reaching into the bag. âokay, but if it helps you feel betterââ
you grabbed the bottle out of his hand and flung it across the room. It hit the doorframe and slid out into the hallway.
jj blinked.
then grinned, impressed despite himself. âdamn, baby. got some nice aim right there.â
âi said no,â you insisted, sinking back under the blankets. âiâm fine.â
âyouâre literally burning up.â
âyou could've just called me hot.â
jj shook his head, trying not to smile. sheâs impossible. god, i love her.
he sat on the edge of the bed, lowering his voice. âjust let me help, okay? i hate seeing you like this.â
âi donât need help,â you said stubbornly. âi need everyone to stop bothering me.â
jj looked at you for a long moment, softening. âyeah,â he murmured. âsure you do.â
he disappeared for a moment and came back with a cold water bottle, condensation already forming on the plastic.
âokay,â he said gently, twisting the cap. âno medicine. just water.â
you cracked one eye open. âiâm not dehydrated.â
âyouâve been asleep for hours, and you just woke up not feeling good,â he said. âhumor me.â
you sighed dramatically but pushed yourself upright anywayâ way faster than jj expected and snatched the bottle from his hand.
before he could say anything, you tilted your head back and chugged nearly half of it, water spilling down your chin and onto JJâs hoodie.
he blinked. âjesusâ slow down.â
you lowered the bottle, finally breathing, and thatâs when you saw him.
john b, standing in the kitchen. watching.
your eyes narrowed.
without a second thought, you hurled the bottle across your room and right at him.
âHEYââ john b yelped, ducking just in time as it smacked against the cabinet behind him.
jj swore under his breath, grabbing your shoulders. âokay, okayâ easy, tiger.â
âi told you this was his fault,â you muttered, already wilting as the adrenaline faded.
jj guided you back down onto the pillows, tucking the blankets around you like heâd done it a hundred times before. he brushed your hair back gently, pressing his palm to your forehead.
âyouâre gonna pass out again if you keep doing that,â he murmured. âsave the violence for later.â
you huffed, eyes fluttering shut. âit's worth it.â
jj smiled to himself, sitting back on the edge of the bed, one hand still resting on your armâ just in case... john b reappeared in the doorway two seconds later, eyes wild.
âyou are actually insane,â he shouted. âyou couldâve killed me!â
you shot upright again. âYOU GAVE ME THE PLAGUE.â
âI HAD A COLD.â
âAND I HAVE A HEADACHE AND A SORE THROAT AND ITâS YOUR FAULTââ
âYOU DIDN'T TELL ME I COULDN'T HAVE A SIPââ
âYOUâRE MY BROTHERââ
âTHAT DOESNâT MEAN IMMUNITYââ
âIT LITERALLY DOESââ
the words started overlapping, volume climbing, neither of you stopping long enough to breathe.
jj stood there for exactly three seconds, watching it spiral.
âoh my god,â he muttered.
john b pointed accusingly at you. âshe just assaulted me with a water bottle.â
âyou DESERVED IT.â
âsheâs crazy, JJ!â
âyou got me sick!â
âI WAS SICK FIRSTââ
âWHICH IS THE PROBLEMââ
âOKAY,â JJ snapped.
he stepped forward, placed both hands on John Bâs chest, and physically pushed him back out of the room.
ânope. get out. go.â
âJJââ
"out.â
he shut the door in john bâs face before he could finish the sentence.
the room went quiet except for your heavy breathing.
jj turned back to you, hands on his hips, then softened immediately when he saw your expression: flushed, glassy-eyed, exhausted, but still fired up.
he walked over and gently pressed you back down onto the mattress.
âalright,â he said firmly but sweetly, tugging the blankets back up around you. âthatâs enough fighting for one day.â
âit is his fault,â you muttered.
âi know,â JJ said without hesitation.
that earned him a weak huff of satisfaction.
he brushed your hair back from your face, thumb tracing your temple lightly. âjust take a nap, princess. i promise iâll handle it.â
your eyes fluttered. âdonât let him near me.â
âwouldnât dream of it.â
he waited until your breathing evened out, until the tension drained from your shoulders, and then slipped quietly out of the room, closing the door behind him.
john B was pacing in the living room, still fuming.
âsheâs unbelievable,â he started.
jj turned on him instantly. âdude, what the hell?â
âi almost got taken out by a flying aquafina.â
âyou got her sick,â JJ shot back. âand then you poked the bear.â
âsheâs being dramatic.â
âsheâs sick,â JJ corrected. âand stubborn. and you know how she is.â
john b sighed, rubbing his face. âokay, yeah. maybe i messed up.â
jj crossed his arms, thinking. then his expression shiftedâ something mischievous clicking into place.
ââŠi might have an idea.â
john b looked up. "yeah?â
jj nodded slowly. âbut itâs gonna take all of us.â
john b followed his gaze toward the living room.
âoh,â he said. âthat kind of idea.â
they shared a look.
and then jj said, âalright. letâs do this.â
pope showed up ten minutes later, breathless.
he pushed through the front door of the chateau like heâd sprinted the whole way, hands braced on his knees as he bent forward, chest heaving.
âi got here as fast as i could,â he panted. âwhat happened to y/n?â
silence.
jj stood near the couch, arms crossed. john b hovered by the kitchen counter, avoiding eye contact.
pope straightened slowly. âwell?â
nothing.
ââŠguys?â he pressed. âis she okay?â
still nothing.
popeâs expression tightened. âiâm gonna go check on her.â
he took three steps down the hall and reached for your bedroom door.
âNO!â
both jj and john b shouted at the exact same time.
pope froze, hand hovering inches from the knob.
âwhat the hell?â he demanded, turning around. âwhy are you yelling at me like sheâs radioactive?â
jj ran a hand through his hair. john b exhaled hard, shoulders slumping.
ââŠsheâs sick,â john b finally said.
pope stared at them for a long moment, processing. then his face shifted.
âoh. hell no.â
he grabbed his bag from the floor. âi am not getting involved in whatever this is.â
âpopeâwait,â john b said quickly, stepping in front of him.
âsheâs sick, man,â pope shot back. âi like being alive.â
jj held up his hands. âokay, yeah, thatâs fair. but we need help.â
pope sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. âwhy do i need to help?â
âbecause,â john b said desperately, âshe wonât listen to me, and she wonât take medicine, and jjâs the only reason she hasnât murdered me yet.â
jj shrugged. âiâm the buffer.â
pope looked down the hallway, then back at them. âso whatâs the plan?â
the three of them fell quiet.
jj glanced toward the kitchen.
the pizza boxes sat on the counter, steam curling faintly from beneath the lids, the smell filling the roomâwarm cheese, grease, comfort.
a slow grin tugged at jjâs mouth.
pope followed his gaze.
ââŠno,â he said immediately.
john b leaned forward. âjust hear us out.â
pope crossed his arms. âi donât like where this is going.â
jj tilted his head. âyou want her to feel better, right?â
pope hesitated.
ââŠyes.â
jj nodded. âgood. then trust us.â
pope exhaled sharply. âi hate this already.â
john b smiled for the first time in hours. âso youâre in?â
pope closed his eyes, muttering, âiâm gonna regret this.â
jjâs grin widened. âperfect.â
they leaned in closer.
and the plan was set.
the chateau went quiet on purpose.
jj clicked off the lamp in the living room, leaving only the late afternoon sun bleeding in through the windows. the pizza boxes were placed carefully on the coffee table, lids cracked just enough for the smell to escapeâmelted cheese, grease, comfort.
john b cleared his throat loudly. âpizzas out here,â he announced, projecting toward the door. âweâre heading out.â
kie and pope exaggerated their footsteps, moving toward the front door, shoes scuffing, keys jangling. the porch door opened, then shut with a solid thunk.
silence.
they all froze.
jj pressed his back against the wall near the hallway, heart beating a little too fast. please work. please donât make me tackle my girlfriend.
a minute passed.
then another.
john b shifted his weight. âsheâs not coming.â
jj tilted his head. âwait.â
a soft creak.
all three of them snapped to attention.
your bedroom door opened just a crack.
you stepped out slowly, hood pulled up over your head, jjâs oversized hoodie swallowing your frame. the sleeves covered your hands, the hood shadowing your vision so you could barely see anything but the floor in front of you.
you sniffed.
paused.
the smell hit you.
your stomach betrayed you immediately.
jj mouthed, now.
you took another step into the living room.
and thenâ
hands grabbed your shoulders.
another pair scooped up your legs.
"whatâHEYâNOââ
âGOT HER!â john b shouted.
âWAITâWAITâGUYSââ
you were lifted clean off the ground, hoodie twisting around you as you kicked weakly.
âPUT ME DOWN,â you yelled. âI SWEAR TO GODââ
âeasy, easy,â JJ said quickly, panic and laughter mixing as he tried to keep you from flailing too hard. ânobody panic.â
âWATCH ME PANICK,â you shrieked.
they hauled you toward the couch, your hood slipping further over your eyes until you could barely see anything but dark fabric and flashes of movement.
the second you realized who it was, all hell broke loose.
âJOHN B,â you screamed. âI KNEW ITâTHIS IS YOUR FAULTââ
âSTOP MOVING,â pope said, struggling to keep hold of your legs. âi donât want to drop you!â
âIâM GOING TO KILL YOU,â you shouted, squirming harder.
jj appeared in front of you, breathless, holding the medicine bottle up like a peace offering. âokay, okayâjust one dose, alright? one! then pizza, I swear.â
your eyes locked onto the bottle.
âno.â
âjust drink itââ
âno.â
âbabyââ
âI SAID NOââ
You swung blindly, your fist connecting with Popeâs cheek.
âowâokay, nope,â Pope yelped, instantly letting go and stumbling back. âi'm out.â
the second his grip loosened, you twisted, grabbing a fistful of john bâs hair.
âAHâHEYâHEYââ
he yelped and immediately released you.
jj took a deep breath, hands lifting slowly as if he were negotiating with a storm. âalright⊠enough. thatâs enough.â
you spun, hood slipping further, eyes blazing. âIâM NOT DONE!â
jj crouched slightly to meet you at eye level, voice soft but firm. âhey. look at me.â
you blinked, the oversized hood limiting your vision to dark fabric and shifting shapes.
âiâve got this,â jj said gently, holding up a small cup of liquid medicine, the kind you always hated. âjust trust me. one sip, thatâs it. iâll hold it. you just drink. okay?â
your stubbornness flared for half a second, your body trembling from shivering and fever, but the calm in his tone and the patience in his eyes made you hesitate.
slowly, shakily, you tipped your head back. jj guided the cup to your lips, steady and careful. you swallowed quietly, the medicine sliding down your throat.
jj smiled softly. âgood job, princess.â
he crouched lower, looping one arm under your knees and another behind your back. ânow⊠letâs get you back to your room.â
you melted against his chest as he lifted you, hoodie sliding over your eyes. jjâs chest was warm and steady beneath you. the hallway seemed impossibly long, but his grip was solid, reassuring. you felt your muscles relax against him for the first time in hours.
âcareful, please,â you whispered.
âiâve got you,â he said, voice low, protective. âyou donât need to worry about a thing.â
he carried you past the living room, past the abandoned pizza boxes, past the kitchen where john b and pope were watching with mixed awe and relief. jj didnât look at them; he only focused on you.
when he finally laid you down on the bed and tucked the blankets snugly around you, you let out a long, shaky sigh. your body finally began to melt into the warmth of the covers.
âsee?â jj murmured, brushing a strand of hair from your forehead. ânot so bad.â
you huffed softly, half-smiling despite yourself. âonly because youâre doing it.â
âalways, baby,â he whispered back, leaning close enough that your cheeks brushed. he let you rest your head against his shoulder, his hand gently tracing your arm as your breathing evened out.
for the first time all day, the chaos felt distant, almost like a bad dream. outside, the chateau was quiet except for the soft hum of the evening settling in. inside, it was just you and jj, wrapped up in blankets, in the calm after the storm.
authors note: this was inspired by me getting sick and wanting to fight my sibling because of it. like how are you about to disrespect me by getting ME sick? like hello? does anyone else hate getting sick this much because this fic was an understatement of how i was...
let me know if you guys think i should do a part 2 with you taking care of jj after you got him sick hehe <3
i looovveeddd your last fic!!! can i request a bf! jj x pogue reader fic where maybe itâs them both fucked up but taking care of each other at parties like just happy lovey dovey moments but this couple gives been together since middle school like their firsts yeah expand as you will
thank you so much for your requestt! i'm so sorry it took me this long, but i hope this is what yo were looking for and more <3
title: drunk in love
pairings: bf!jj maybank x pogue!reader
word count: 3k~
warnings: drinking, non-depth throw up, cursing
the music hits you before the room does.
bass pulses through the floorboards, heavy enough to rattle your ribs, the sound spilling out through the open sliding doors and into the night. the kook house is blown wide open to the beachâglass doors pushed back, curtains fluttering with every rush of salty air. neon lights wash the walls in purple and blue, flickering just slow enough to make everything feel unreal, like the whole night is suspended somewhere between memory and motion.
you barely make it three steps inside before youâre swallowed by bodies.
kieâs hand snaps around your wrist instinctively, tugging you forward through the crowd like sheâs done this a thousand times before. sarahâs right behind you, already laughing, drink sloshing dangerously close to the rim of her cup.
âoh my god,â sarah shouts over the music, leaning close, lips brushing your ear. âthis place is insane.â
kie snorts. âitâs a kook party. they donât know how to do anything halfway.â
the air is thickâsweat, alcohol, sunscreen, cologne layered on top of the ocean drifting in from outside. someone bumps into you hard enough to slosh your drink. someone else apologizes without slowing down. fairy lights are strung haphazardly along the ceiling beams, blurring into streaks when you move too fast.
sarah spins to face you, eyes bright. âdance floor. now. before it gets worse.â
you donât argue. you let her pull you in.
the living room is packed shoulder-to-shoulder, bodies moving together in loose, uncoordinated rhythm. the song is loud and fast, the kind that settles into your bones and makes you move without thinking. kieâs already dancing, hair sticking to her neck, eyes closed like sheâs letting herself disappear into the noise.
sarah grabs both your hands, laughing as she spins under your arm, nearly colliding with someone before you steady her.
âi need a shot,â she announces suddenly, breathless.
kie groans. âyou just got here.â
âexactly,â sarah grins. âthatâs the point.â
as if summoned, a tray of shots appears from somewhere to your left. some guy you donât recognize is holding it like a trophy, already flushed, already too drunk. sarah snatches three glasses without hesitation and presses one into your hand, another into kieâs.
you glance down at the amber liquid.
âalright,â kie says, lifting hers. âto surviving another kook party.â
you clink glasses with them. âto not getting kicked out.â
sarah laughs. âspeak for yourself.â
you throw it back together.
the burn is sharp, immediate. you cough, eyes watering, while sarah whoops beside you and kie shakes her head, already reaching for her drink again. the crowd surges, the song changes, louder somehow, and you let yourself get lost in it for a momentâlaughing, swaying, feeling the alcohol settle warm in your chest.
across the house, the kitchen is just as packed.
popeâs perched on the counter, beer in hand, talking animatedly with his whole body. john b leans against the fridge, nodding along, already sweaty, already flushed. jjâs there too, bottle hanging loosely from his fingers, laughing at something pope saysâ
âbut heâs not really listening.
you feel it before you see him.
that familiar pull, like a thread tightening between your ribs.
you glance toward the kitchen, eyes cutting through the crowd, over raised cups and moving shoulders, and there he is.
jjâs already looking at you.
his grin spreads the second your eyes meet, lazy and knowing, like this was inevitable. his hair is damp with sweat, shirt clinging just enough to make your stomach flip stupidly. he lifts his bottle slightly in acknowledgment, never breaking eye contact.
your chest tightens.
sarah follows your gaze immediately. âthere he is,â she says, smirking. âi was wondering how long itâd take.â
you roll your eyes, but youâre smiling. âshut up.â
kie glances over, amused. âhe hasnât looked away once.â
âgood,â sarah says. âbecause iâm gross and i need another drink. kitchen?â
the dance floor feels even hotter now, bodies pressing closer, sweat slicking skin. someone spills something near your feet. you step back instinctively, bumping into kie.
âyeah,â you say. âkitchen.â
you turn toward it and immediately feel like youâre swimming upstream.
the crowd is thick, moving in every direction at once. you squeeze past people, murmuring apologies, one hand raised to keep your drink steady, the other brushing shoulders, arms, backs. the music echoes louder here, bouncing off walls, lights flickering faster as you move deeper into the house.
halfway there, you look up.
jjâs eyes find you instantly.
he straightens just slightly when he sees you weaving through the crowd, bottle lowering from his lips. his gaze tracks you effortlessly, like the rest of the party has blurred out around you. thereâs something soft behind his grinâfamiliar, grounding.
and suddenly, without warning, the moment folds in on itself.
the lights dim.
the music fades.
the heat drops out of the room.
and youâre somewhere else entirely.
flashback to: the summer before freshman year
the garage smells like oil and dust and warm beer.
the lights are all onâtoo bright, buzzing faintly overhead. someoneâs dadâs tools have been shoved against one wall to make room, a workbench doubling as a makeshift bar. a speaker sits on the hood of a car, music playing straight from someoneâs phone, not loud enough to drown out conversation.
itâs nothing like the party now.
kieâs across the garage, already deep in conversation with a couple of kook girls from school, laughing easily like she belongs anywhere she stands. you linger near the edge instead, fingers wrapped tight around a red solo cup you havenât taken a sip from.
you donât know where to stand.
you donât know what to do with your hands.
the beer tastes flat when you finally try it, and you grimace, swallowing it down anyway.
across the garage, jj leans against the wall with john b and pope, hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie. john bâs talking, animated as always. popeâs nodding along, serious. jj isnât saying much.
heâs looking at you.
not in a way that makes you uncomfortable. not like heâs staring.
just⊠watching.
like heâs making sure youâre okay. like heâs noticed you standing there, quiet and unsure, and filed it away somewhere important.
you glance up, catch his eye.
your stomach flips.
he doesnât look away.
thereâs no grin yet. no confidence. just something open and tentative, like heâs not entirely sure what to do with the feeling either.
someone laughs too loud. someone cracks open another stolen beer. the garage door rattles as itâs lifted halfway to let in the night air.
jj pushes off the wall.
he takes one step toward youâ
flashback end: present
âhey.â
the word pulls you back.
the music slams into you again, bass thudding through your chest. neon lights blur back into place. heat rushes in. the smell of alcohol and ocean floods your senses.
youâre in the kitchen again.
jj stands in front of you now, close enough that you can feel his warmth, his shoulder brushing yours like itâs always belonged there.
pope slides a shot glass across the counter toward him. âround two?â
jj doesnât look at the glass right away.
he looks at you.
his eyebrows lift in a silent question, the same one heâs been asking you since you were kids.
you good?
you lift your cup slightly in answer.
he smilesâand thatâs when you know the night is only just beginning.
the kitchen is packed, warm and buzzing, music thumping under the hum of voices and clinking cups. fairy lights flicker above, the neon from the living room bleeding into the edges of the crowd. you lean against the counter, kie and sarah beside you, scanning the chaos, when john b tilts his head toward you and jj.
âwow,â he says, grinning. âlook at you two. all calm and⊠respectable. honestly, kind of boring.â
you laugh, spinning toward him. âexcuse me? john b, i just turned twenty-one. iâm the youngest here. jjâs old and retired, sure, but i am not.â
jjâs head snaps toward you, one eyebrow arched, lips quirking. âold and retired, huh? thatâs how weâre starting tonight?â
âi'm just saying,â you shrug, smirking. âi mean, really⊠do you even remember how to keep up with me anymore?â
he grins, stepping just a little closer, tone low and playful. âis that a challenge, baby?â
âmaybe it is,â you tease, leaning forward so your shoulders brush. âsomeoneâs gotta remind you whoâs actually running the show tonight.â
jj laughs, tilting his head, eyes sparkling. ârunning the show, huh? i like your confidence⊠but donât forget, experience wins.â
âexperience?â you echo, grinning wider. âsure, if youâre trying to be boring.â
he chuckles, reaching out just enough that your fingers almost touch. âboring? thatâs harsh. i prefer⊠refined.â
ârefined,â you tease back, leaning closer. âright. refined and retired. i might have to show you how itâs done.â
jj leans in, smirk softening, voice dropping. âoh, iâd love to see that.â
you laugh, brushing a hand along the counter to steady yourself. âgood. because iâm not holding back tonight. you ready?â
he glances at you, heat and amusement in his gaze. âborn ready.â
john b snorts, glancing between you. âoh man, the youngest pogue versus the retired one. this is gonna be good.â
kie nudges you, grinning. âyou really canât help yourself, huh?â
âwhy would i?â you whisper back, eyes locked on jj. âhe likes it.â
jj leans closer again, a ghost of a touch against your hand this time, and whispers, âoh, i do. donât think i havenât noticed.â
you grin, breath catching just slightly. âgood. then keep up.â
and just like that, the room melts away. music, lights, friendsâitâs all background. just him, just you, grinning, teasing, dancing on the edge of a challenge neither of you really wants to lose.
the kitchen is crowded, hot, buzzing with music, and your glass feels a little too heavy in your hand. jj is beside you, leaning casually against the counter, smirking at the first shot you both lift.
âready?â he asks, his fingers brushing yours as he picks up the glass.
âalways,â you answer, grinning, swaying just a little.
the burn hits, warm and sharp, and you laugh, clutching the counter for balance. jj chuckles beside you, shaking his head. âwow, already feeling that?â
âi didnât eat today,â you admit, voice a little breathless. âso yeah⊠iâm a lightweight apparently.â
he nudges your shoulder gently with his own. âthatâs okay. youâre still standing. barely. but thatâs fine. iâve got you.â
you grin, tipping your head to glance at him. âyou? youâve been hitting shots all day, i think. you feeling okay?â
he shrugs, smirking. âyeah⊠a little fuzzy. but i can handle you. thatâs what counts, right?â
the second shot goes down, and the warmth spreads faster this time. you stumble slightly, and his hand slides to your back. âcareful,â he murmurs, voice low, soft. âi donât want you falling.â
âiâm fine,â you laugh, swaying a little more. âbut⊠thanks.â
âyouâre welcome,â he says, grinning. âi donât mind being helpful.â
the third shot hits, and your head spins a little, warm and light. you laugh, pressing your shoulder into his. âyouâre too good at this. making me feel safe while iâm a mess.â
âiâve had practice,â he teases, brushing a hand down your arm. âand honestly? i like having you all over me like this. little drunk, little giggly, all mine.â
âlittle drunk?â you repeat, snorting a laugh. âi feel so drunk.â
âperfect,â he murmurs, leaning his forehead against yours for a second, just enough to make your heart flip. âbut⊠iâve got you. donât worry.â
the fourth shot goes down, and you immediately sit yourself on the counter edge, letting your legs dangle. jj catches your elbow, steadying you. âokay, maybe⊠chill for a minute?â
âyeah,â you giggle, leaning into him. âmy headâs spinning, but in a good way. you feel that?â
he laughs, pressing a quick kiss to your temple. âi feel it. and youâre glowing. you look amazing.â
you bump your shoulder into his. âand you? fuzzy? sweaty? tipsy?â
âmaybe a little,â he admits, grinning. âbut still⊠all yours.â
you snort, laughing into his chest. âall mine?â
âall yours,â he repeats softly, rubbing your back as you lean into him. âand iâve got you. always.â
you sigh, happy, light-headed, fingers brushing his. âyouâre the best,â you murmur, half-laughing, half-breathless.
âno arguments here,â he says, pressing his cheek to your hair. âweâre good. perfect. messy, but perfect.â
you laugh again, letting yourself melt into him, feeling the warmth of his body, his steady hands, the gentle way he keeps you safe even while youâre both tipsy. âyeah,â you mumble, voice soft. âperfect.â
and there, pressed together, glasses forgotten for a moment, the room spinning just a little, itâs just the two of youâwarm, drunk, and completely, effortlessly in love.
the kitchen is hot, crowded, and buzzing with music. glasses clink as you, jj, john b, kie, and pope gather around the counter, shots lined up like a battleground.
âalright, pope,â john b starts, smirking, holding his shot glass up. âwe need to discuss your epic dock fail. again.â
âoh god,â pope groans, hands on his head. âdo we really have to? you guys are never letting this go.â
âyes!â kie laughs, shoving a shot toward him. âwe have to! itâs too good. that moment was legendary.â
jj leans against you, smirking. âhonestly, pope, i still donât know how you survived.â
âyeah, i mean, you were terrified!â you chime in, giggling, grabbing your own shot. âyour legs were shaking like noodles!â
pope groans again, but you can see the corners of his mouth twitching. âokay, okay, letâs justâletâs take shots. thatâs fair.â
âalright, fine, weâll humor you,â john b says, and suddenly everyone grabs a glass. pope grins, triumphant, raising a shot. âsee? youâre learning.â
three rounds later, everyoneâs laughing, sloshing slightly, trying not to fall over. sarah is leaned against the counter, hair falling in her face, giggling like a little mess, trying to catch her breath between snickers.
âthis is torture,â pope mutters through laughs. âiâm just trying to live my life and youâre all ganging up on me!â
âohhh, weâre not done,â kie teases, pointing at him. âyou deserve this.â
âseriously,â you laugh, hiccuping slightly, holding your glass. âyou almost died, and itâs still the funniest thing ever.â
john b is doubled over laughing now. âhow did you even think that was a good idea?!â
pope throws up his hands dramatically. âfine! fine! shots, iâll take them! happy?!â
he makes them do three more shots in a row, and by now everyone is nearly doubled over, holding their sides. youâre leaning against jj, whoâs got his arm around you, smirking and rubbing your back as you hiccup through laughter. sarah is still snickering, trying to stay upright, hair sticking to her sweaty forehead.
âokayâokay,â john b says, holding up his hands, still breathless from laughing. âone more. one final shot. for popeâs dignity.â
pope squints at him. âi donât have dignity anymore.â
âexactly,â kie says, already grabbing another glass. âthatâs why weâre celebrating.â
sarah is leaned against the counter, giggling so hard she has to bend forward, hair falling in her face. âi canâtââ she snorts, immediately laughing harder. âi literally canât stop.â
pope points at her, offended. âwhy are you laughing? you werenât even there!â
thereâs that split secondâeveryone suddenly very interested in the counter, the floor, the ceiling. jj presses his lips together, shoulders shaking. you bite the inside of your cheek, eyes darting away.
and then sarah lets out one tiny giggle.
thatâs it.
the room erupts.
john b bends over, hands on his knees. kie grabs the counter, crying laughing. jj throws his head back, laughing so hard he has to grab your shoulder to stay upright. pope groans loudly, face red, but even heâs smiling through it.
âyouâre all terrible people,â pope mutters, but itâs completely drowned out by laughter.
âokay!â jj manages between laughs, lifting his glass. âbefore pope actually explodesâcheers!â
you bring the shot to your lips. the second it goes down, your stomach drops.
oh no.
oh no.
you barely have time to react before that hot, unmistakable feeling rises up your throat. your face twists and you immediately grab jjâs hand.
âbathroom,â you choke out. ânow.â
jj looks down at you, still laughing, eyes glassy. âohâoh no,â he wheezes. âokayâokayââ
you take off toward the hallway, but your coordination is gone. your foot catches, and suddenly youâre going downâalmost flat.
jj loses it.
heâs laughing so hard he actually stumbles himself, tears in his eyes. âbabeââ he gasps, barely holding it together as he grabs your waist and hauls you upright because youâre not getting up fast enough on your own. âoh my godâokayâcome onââ
youâre half-running, half-being-dragged, jj behind you, still laughing uncontrollably. âiâm sorry,â he says between laughs. âiâm tryingâI swearâIâm trying to be seriousââ
you shove the bathroom door open and barely make it to the toilet before it happens.
jj finally stumbles in after you, slams the door shut, and locks itâthen immediately has to brace himself against the wall because heâs laughing so hard heâs sniffling.
âoh myââ he wipes at his eyes. âiâm so sorryâthis is not funnyâI mean it isâbutââ
you groan into the toilet, one hand braced against the bowl.
âokay,â he says, trying to pull it together, voice cracking. âalrightâalrightâI got you.â he drops down behind you, gently gathering your hair and holding it up, even though his shoulders are still shaking. âiâve got you. i swear. iâm here.â
you hear him sniffle again, followed by a weak laugh. âyouâreââ he pauses, takes a breath, then laughs anyway. âyouâre killing me.â
you groan something unintelligible.
âi know, i know,â he says softly, rubbing your back with one hand while holding your hair with the other. âyouâre okay. youâre doing great. weâre never drinking again.â
you hear him inhale like heâs about to say something comfortingâand then he breaks again, laughter bubbling out despite himself.
âiâm so sorry,â he says, laughing quietly now, forehead pressing gently against your shoulder. âi love you. even when youâre⊠like this.â
somehow, even in the middle of it allâkneeling on a bathroom floor, music muffled through the walls, jj half-crying from laughter while holding your hairâit feels weirdly perfect.
summary: some promises are easier to make than to keep, especially when your best friend is everything to you.
word count: 4.5k
you didnât just know the poguesâ you were part of them before the name ever stuck. before surfboards and beer bottles and bonfires on the beach, there was third grade. there was a cracked playground, rusted swings, and you sitting cross-legged in the dirt while jj maybank and john booker routledge argued over whose turn it was to kick. you donât even remember how you started talking. just that by the end of the day, you were walking home together, backpacks bouncing, already acting like youâd known each other forever.
from then on, it was always the three of you.
wherever you went, jj and john b followed like it was instinct. if you decided to ride your bike down to the marsh, they were right behind youâ jj pedaling too fast, almost crashing, john b shouting at him to watch where he was going. if you climbed a tree, they climbed it too. if you skipped school to sit on the beach and talk about nothing, they were already there, waiting for you like it was a routine neither of them questioned.
you grew up together in every way that mattered. scraped knees, sunburned shoulders, stolen snacks from gas stations you couldnât afford. you learned early on that the three of you didnât need muchâ not money, not plans, not permission, just each other. adults came and went. homes changed. parents disappointed. but somehow, you, jj, and john b stayed the same, orbiting each other like gravity made it unavoidable.
by the time kiara and pope came into the picture, the foundation was already there. everyone could see it. you werenât just friendsâ you were history. shared looks across a room. inside jokes no one else understood. a kind of loyalty that didnât need explaining. if one of you was in trouble, the other two were already moving before anyone said a word.
people noticed how close you were. how jj always showed up where you were, like heâd memorized your habits without realizing it. how john b trusted you without question, handed you responsibility like it was second nature. you were there for every high and every lowâ the good days that smelled like saltwater and freedom, and the bad ones that ended with silence and staring at the stars, pretending everything was fine.
when you all started getting older, people expected things to change. middle school blurred into high school, voices dropped, everything felt louder and more complicated. but with you, and your friends, nothing ever really fell apart. if anything, growing up pulled you closer. moments started to linger, conversations felt heavier, laughter stuck with you longer, memories began to feel like things youâd carry with you instead of forget.
that was around the time pope and kiara became part of it all. pope with his intelligence and quiet loyalty, kie with her fearless honesty. the pogues stopped being just a group of friends and started feeling like a familyâ shared meals, shared rides, shared problems. you looked out for each other without question, like thatâs just what you did.
and still, you found yourself gravitating toward jj.
it wasnât intentional. it was instinct. you ended up beside him without thinking about it, knees brushing, shoulders touching like space didnât matter. he stayed when things got quiet, filled the silence when you needed noise, sat with you when you didnât. even when everyone was together, it felt like the world narrowed when it was just the two of you.
puberty didnât make things awkwardâ it made them real. looks lingered longer. moments felt important. and somehow, most of the memories that meant the most had jj woven through them. the pogues were your family, always would be.
but jj was different.
and no matter how full the group became, you kept finding your way back to himâ like gravity didnât need a reason.
the fire crackled and popped, sending tiny sparks up into the black sky above john bâs house. the air smelled like smoke and salt, warm and sharp all at once, and water crashed softly in the distance, their rhythm steady and calming. everyone was gathered around the fire, blankets draped over shoulders, bottles of soda or iced tea in hand.
pope was in the middle of a story about how his mom almost caught him trying to âborrowâ snacks from their shop again. âand then she looked at me like i had three heads,â he said, throwing his hands up. âlike, seriously, i didnât even touch the ice cream this time!â
kie laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder. âpope, youâve been busted more times than anyone i know. iâm honestly surprised you still have a mom who lets you out of the house.â
john b groaned dramatically, leaning back on his elbows. âand yet somehow, pope still thinks heâs untouchable. classic.â
you snorted, shaking your head. âuntouchable is a strong word for someone who just got caught stealing a candy bar last week.â
popeâs face turned mock-offended. âit was a snickers, and it was strategically borrowed! you guys wouldnât understand the art of the perfect snack heist.â
kie laughed so hard she nearly fell over, and even john b grinned, shaking his head. âstrategically borrowed?â he repeated, âyou make it sound like you planned a military operation for chocolate.â
jj just chuckled, tossing a stick into the fire. âhe probably did,â he said, leaning back in his chair, eyes on the flames. âhonestly, popeâs strategy skills might be better than mine.â
you laughed, elbowing him lightly. âplease, you canât even sneak out without tripping over something.â
âhey!â jj shot back with a grin. âi fall gracefully, thank you very much. itâs an art form.â
the fire popped loudly, and sparks danced across the sand. for a while, everyone just laughed and teased and argued playfully, and it felt like time slowed, like the world outside didnât exist.
then jj tilted his head, eyes glinting in the firelight, and asked casually, âokay⊠hypothetical question. if you could go anywhere tomorrow, no limits, where would you go?â
kie snorted. âohhh, going philosophical now? i like it.â
pope leaned forward, elbows on his knees. âdepends. are we talking realistic, or like, magic-portal impossible?â
âmagic-portal impossible,â jj said immediately. âi want to hear the big dreams.â
kie didnât hesitate. âsome tropical island full of wildlife where no one knows me. no phones, no rules, just⊠sand, sun, and cocktails for life.â she laughed, kicking at the fire.
pope grinned, âyeah, iâd go somewhere with clear water. diving, bungalows, shark encounters. real shark encounters. not the kind you see in movies.â
john b smirked. âiâd just want a city where no one knows me, lots of noise, coffee shops, and a place where i donât have to think about the cut for even a second.â
you smiled at that, thinking about it. âi think⊠somewhere warm,â you said softly. âsomewhere that doesnât smell like salt or smoke or chaos. somewhere⊠quiet. mountains or city, i donât care, as long as it feels like we could really start over.â
jj glanced at you, and for a second, the firelight seemed to catch in his eyes differently. âyeah,â he said quietly. âsomewhere we could be whoever we want. and⊠weâd take each other, right?â
you hesitated, heart skipping, but nodded. âof course.â
kie stretched, yawning exaggeratedly. âalright, iâm calling itâ iâm going to head out.â she stood, brushing ash off her jeans. âpope, grab your stuff, youâre coming with me. someone has to catch a ride before my mom kills me for staying out too late.â
pope groaned, giving a mock salute. âyes maâam.â he tossed a blanket over his shoulder and followed her, laughing as she walked toward the chateau.
john b watched them go, smirking to himself. he leaned back for a second, then shook his head like heâd just gotten a cue. âwell⊠i guess iâll head inside too.â he gave you a lazy grin and stood, giving jj a friendly nudge. âhave fun, you two.â
as soon as john b disappeared inside, it was just you and jj. the fire crackled between you, warmth on your cheeks, the night stretching endlessly around you. jj stretched his legs, letting his shoulder brush against yours almost casually. neither of you said anything for a moment â just listening to the waves, the fire, and the quiet hum of the world around you.
finally, jj tossed another stick into the fire, sparks flying. âso⊠if we really could leave tomorrow,â he said, quieter this time, just for you, âwhere would we go?â
you smiled, shifting a little closer, and answered honestly, letting the moment linger. âsomewhere we donât have to worry about anything. somewhere⊠just us.â
jjâs grin softened, and for the first time, it felt like he was looking at you in a way that didnât need words to explain it. âyeah,â he murmured. âjust us.â
and for that moment, with the fire crackling and no one else around, it really felt like it could be just thatâ always.
âyou gonâ sleep here tonight?â jj asked without looking at you, eyes fixed on the firelight dancing across the sand.
a small smile tugged at your lips. âi would,â you said softly, âbut i reckon if iâm gonna be out all day tomorrow, i might as well let them know iâm still alive.â
jjâs jaw tightened. he shifted closer, resting his arms lightly around your waist as you sat flush against him. you both knew he hated it when you went home and your parents gave you grief for spending all day with the pogues. but what could he do? you werenât going to sneak off, and he couldnât exactly tie you to him.
eventually, you said your goodbyes, the weight of the night still lingering in the warmth of his arms. you slid into the twinkie and, almost instinctively, powered your phone back on after leaving it completely off. the screen lit up instantly with notifications. texts, messages, pings all flashing at once.
and then you noticed it: the kitchen light was still on.
fuck.
your grip tightened on the wheel, a low, tense buzz running through your chest. you knew your parents, especially your mom would be ready to talk your ear off the second you stepped inside.
the walk up to the front door felt shorter than usual, faster than you expected, and now you were standing there, hand on the handle, frozen for just a second.
if iâm quiet enough, maybe they wonât noticeâŠ
you drew in a shaky breath and unlocked the door, holding it for a moment longer than necessary. of course, as soon as you stepped inside, the murmur of voices stopped. your parents were there, waiting in the kitchen, and all thoughts of slipping by unnoticed vanished immediately.
by the time you finally made it to your room, your body was trembling from holding it in. the door clicked shut behind you, and the moment it latched, it all came crashing down.
your eyes burned, stingy and red, and you sank onto the floor, letting yourself fall apart. sobs wracked your chest, and your vision blurred with tears. you pressed your face into your hands, trying to breathe through it, but the words your mom had thrown at you over and over still echoed in your ears.
âyouâre going to end up like a failure at this rate.â
âdo you even care about your responsibilities?â
âwhy canât you just listen?â
your phone buzzed against the floor, a soft glow through your tear-streaked fingers. you wiped your cheeks with the back of your sleeve and saw it: a text from jj. you didnât reply right away. you couldnât. not with the harsh, nagging echo of your momâs voice still ringing in your skull, like she was right there in the room with you.
then your phone rang. it was jj. you pressed the phone to your ear, voice still raspy and breaking, trying to hide the tears even from him.
âhey⊠did you make it home okay?â his voice was calm, soft, steady. you nodded even though he couldnât see you. âyeah⊠i did,â you croaked.
âi could tell,â he said gently, like he already knew. âby your voice⊠sounds like they got to you too.â
your throat tightened. you couldnât answer right away, just a shaky silence filling the space between you. then he asked quietly, carefully, âdo you want me to come over?â
you swallowed hard, tears still spilling, and let out a long, shaky sigh. finally, you whispered, âyeah.â
and just like that, the knot in your chest loosened a little, because even after everything, jj was still here. and that⊠somehow made all of it feel just a little bit lighter.
you were just about ready for bed when you heard itâ a soft, rhythmic tapping at your window. you froze, heart skipping. another tap, then a low chuckle from outside.
it was jj. your best friend, standing there with that half-smile he always got when he knew heâd won. you rolled your eyes but couldnât stop a grin.
âjj,â you whispered, shaking your head. âreally?â
he shrugged, climbing in with that fluid, confident ease he always had. without a word, he flopped onto your bed like he owned the place.
âjj! get your outside clothes off my bed!â you hissed, tugging the edge of your duvet like it was a weapon.
he raised his hands in mock surrender, groaning dramatically. âfine, fine,â he said. âbut donât expect me to stay nice about it.â
you rolled your eyes and tossed him the clean clothes youâd already set aside for him. he dove into them, changing faster than you could blink, and plopped back onto the bed frame, leaning against it like it was his throne.
you shook your head, laughing softly, and started putting your things away. he didnât say anything, just stared at you, quiet and patient, until finally he asked, âso⊠seriously. what did they say?â
ânothing,â you said, brushing him off, stuffing socks into your drawer. âitâs whatever.â
he hummed, unconvinced. âuh-huh. nothing that made you cry?â
âi⊠i said itâs whatever,â you muttered, a little defensive, but your voice faltered. he didnât push, just stayed there, letting you get settled.
finally, you crawled under the duvet, letting your head fall against his chest. he stayed outside the blanket, arms loosely around you, steady and warm. for a moment, neither of you said anythingâ just the soft sound of the waves outside and the quiet of your room.
then he asked, quieter this time, âreally, you can tell me. what did they say?â
you shrugged into his chest. âit doesnât matter. i only cry âcause it makes me so mad.â
âmad?â he murmured, lifting his head slightly to look down at you.
âyeah,â you said, voice small. âtheyâd never get it⊠never understand what you guys mean to me. what you mean to me.â
he tightened his arms around you, careful not to crush you. âhey⊠i get it. they donât have to understand. but i do. i always will.â
you closed your eyes, letting his chest rise and fall under your ear. after a few seconds, you mumbled, âi⊠i donât even know why it makes me so mad. i just⊠itâs like⊠i care about all of you so much, and they donât get that. no one does. not even my parents.â
jj pressed his cheek gently against your hair. âhey, hey⊠itâs okay. itâs stupid how people donât get it sometimes, but we get it. and thatâs all that matters.â
you bit your lip, still looking down. âi just⊠i hate feeling like i have to explain why you guys matter so much. like itâs obvious to me, and everyone else⊠they donât see it.â
he hummed, like he was thinking, then said softly, âyou donât have to explain. you donât ever have to explain to me. ever. and i hope you know⊠i feel the same way. you matter to me more than anything. you always will.â
you swallowed, blinking back tears you didnât even realize were falling. âi⊠i donât know what iâd do without you, jj.â
he smiled into your hair, voice low, warm. âyouâll never have to find out.â
there was a pause, just the quiet between you, the kind that isnât empty but full of everything youâre feeling but donât say. finally, you whispered, almost shyly, âi love that you just⊠sit here. and let me be me. and let me get mad or sad or whatever without making it weird. you just⊠are here.â
jj let out a little laugh, shaking his head. âyeah, well⊠someoneâs gotta put up with you. might as well be me.â
you rolled your eyes but smiled, the tension in your chest easing just a little. âi guess i can live with that.â
he hummed, quiet again, letting you nestle against him. âyou know,â he said softly, âeven if the worldâs a mess⊠even if everyone else thinks youâre crazy for feeling this way⊠iâm not going anywhere. youâve got me. always.â
you closed your eyes fully this time, letting the words sink in, letting yourself feel safe for the first time all night. âi know,â you whispered. âand⊠i love that.â
and for a long while, the only sound was the soft hum of the ocean outside and the steady thrum of jjâs heartbeat beneath your ear. the night felt endless, but in the best way, like time had folded around the two of you, leaving nothing else in the world but the warmth and the quiet, and the knowledge that you werenât alone.
his fingers had started moving without you noticing. slow, absent-minded, threading through your hair like it was second nature. he wasnât thinking about it â you could tell â just tracing patterns against your scalp, tugging gently at the ends, the way he always did when things were quiet and real.
it made your chest ache in a way you didnât have words for.
you stayed still for a moment longer, breathing him in, listening to the steady beat of his heart beneath your ear. then, suddenly, you pushed yourself upright.
âjj.â
he jolted like heâd been shot.
âjesusâ!â he flinched, hand flying up defensively as his back smacked lightly against the bed frame. âwhat the hell was that for?â
you blinked at him, startled for half a second⊠then laughed softly. âsorry. i didnât mean to scare you.â
he exhaled, shaking his head, a grin creeping back onto his face. âyou absolutely did. nearly gave me a heart attack.â
you shifted, sitting cross-legged in front of him now, watching the way his smile softened when his eyes met yours. there was something serious sitting heavy in your chest, pressing against your ribs.
âhey,â you said quietly. âcan i ask you something?â
his grin faded just a little, replaced with something gentler. âyeah,â he said easily. âwhatâs up?â
you hesitated, fingers twisting in the fabric of your shirt. âcan you⊠make me a promise?â
jjâs brows knit together. he leaned forward slightly, resting his forearms on his knees. âyeah,â he said again, slower this time. âi mean⊠depends what it is, but yeah. iâll try.â
you swallowed. this was stupid. or scary. or both.
âif we never end up⊠you know,â you gestured vaguely between the two of you, heat creeping up your neck, âdating or anything like thatââ
his eyes stayed on you, unreadable, but he didnât interrupt.
ââcan you promise me you wonât ever leave?â your voice dipped on the last word, barely above a whisper. âlike⊠no matter what happens. even if things change.â
he froze for a second, then his grin spread, slow and mischievous. âwait, hold upâdid you just say if we never end up dating?â he leaned in, voice dropping, teasing. âso⊠does that mean you like me? are you confessing to me right now?â
you flinched, cheeks flaming. âiâwhat?! no! i didnâtâi just meantââ
âohhh, backpedaling already?â he teased, fingers threading casually through your hair again. âbecause thatâs what i thought i heard. trying to trap me with a confession disguised as a promise?â
âjj!â you snapped, flustered, standing up just a little in frustration. âstop twisting my words!â
he leaned closer, grinning wider, ignoring your rising volume. âor maybe⊠i just want to know⊠if youâre serious, really serious. does this mean you really like me?â
âi⊠i said stop!â you yelled, voice rising as you stomped a little on the floor. âyouâre impossible!â
he laughed, quick and low, then suddenly covered your mouth with his hand, soft but firm. âshhh,â he whispered, smirking, âor everyoneâs gonna hear how flustered you are. donât want the whole world knowing how crazy you get around me, do we?â
you struggled for a second, muffled, cheeks burning hotter than ever. âjj! get your hand off me!â
ânot until you calm down,â he said, smirk teasing but eyes soft. ânow⊠answer me. are you confessing? do you like me?â
you pressed your hands against his, trying to push him away, but his hold was firm. âi⊠iâm not confessing! i just⊠just answer the promise!â
âahhh, see, this is the fun part,â he said, leaning closer so your noses almost touched, âyou canât even talk straight when i ask a simple question. makes me think maybe you do like me, huh?â
âjj! iâugh! youâreââ your voice hit that high-pitched, flustered squeak, and he chuckled, easing his hand from your mouth but still holding you close.
âsee?â he said, grinning, âyou canât even deny it. youâre too cute when youâre mad and flustered. makes me⊠want to keep asking questions.â
you groaned, exasperated, sinking back against him, heart racing. âi hate you,â you muttered, voice trembling with frustration and something else you werenât ready to name.
âlove me,â he corrected automatically, brushing your hair behind your ear, fingers lingering. âand donât even think about arguing. itâs part of the deal.â
you swallowed, heat rising, cheeks bright, trying not to melt under his teasing. âokay⊠promise. fine. youâre stuck with me.â
he smirked, resting his chin lightly on your shoulder. âgood. but just so you know⊠i plan on asking all the questions from now on. no backing out. part of your promise, remember?â
you groaned again, trying to hide your grin behind your hands. âiâm gonna hate you so much tomorrow.â
âoh,â he murmured, pressing a quick kiss to your temple, âbut youâre still gonna want me here. promise.â
and somehow, despite the teasing, the flustering, the chaos in your chest, the weight of your words and his promise pressed into your heart like it mattered more than anything else.
he hummed against your hair, fingers still threading through it, slow and careful. âalright,â he said, voice soft but teasing, âpromise made. i wonât leave. youâre stuck with me.â
you tilted your head up at him, trying to meet his eyes. âyeah, but⊠thatâs not the only thing i want to know.â
his grin widened, mischievous. âoh? really? what else is there? tell me, iâm dying of curiosity.â
you swallowed, cheeks warming. âwell⊠i just⊠i want to know⊠what does that mean for us?â
he froze for a heartbeat, then smirked, leaning back slightly, âmean for us? huh⊠you make it sound so serious.â his fingers tangled more in your hair, tugging lightly. âwhat do you even mean by that? are we talking, like⊠official, serious official, or like⊠maybe-weâre-dating-but-weâre-not-telling-anyone official?â
you blinked, flustered. âi⊠i donâtâi meanââ
âah, ah,â he interrupted, wiggling his eyebrows. âdonât stumble on me now. answer the question. which official are we talking about?â
âi⊠i donât know, jj! thatâs exactly why iâm asking!â your voice rose a little, half-laughing, half-frustrated.
he tilted his head, grin widening. âohhh, i see how it is. clever. you think you can trap me with your big question. huh? think again.â
you groaned, pushing lightly at his shoulder. âiâm serious! this is important!â
âserious, huh?â he said, voice dropping low, teasing. âiâm serious too, but⊠serious is boring. letâs talk about something else for a second.â he leaned closer, lips near your ear, brushing it lightly as he whispered, âlike⊠why do you look like that right now? flushed, fidgety⊠is it me?â
you yelped, jerking back a little. âjj! stop it, iâm notâiâm notââ
ânot what?â he teased, grinning. âflustered? embarrassed? questioning why your best friend is basically torturing you with one eyebrow raise?â
you pressed your face into your hands, trying to hide it. âyouâre impossible,â you muttered.
âimpossible? no way,â he said, tilting his head, studying you like he could read your thoughts. âiâm just⊠curious. yeah, thatâs it. curious about⊠everything. you, me, this little thing weâre dancing around⊠all of it.â
you peeked at him through your fingers. âwell, your curiosity is really annoying me right now.â
âoh, really?â he said, eyes glinting. âannoying you, huh? thatâs funny⊠i think i might like it. itâs cute when youâre flustered.â
âoh, so now weâre denying it? hm. you sure you want to play that game?â he said, leaning back against the bed frame, hands lazily resting behind his head, but eyes locked on yours like he was daring you to answer.
you groaned, exasperated, tugging at your hair. âyouâreâugh, youâre impossible!â
âmaybe,â he said, tilting his head, âbut iâm your impossible. isnât that worth something?â
you blinked, heart hammering. âyou make it really hard to even⊠think straight.â
he chuckled, letting the sound rumble through his chest, fingers drifting back into your hair. âoh? is that my goal tonight? or just an accidental side effect?â
âdefinitely on purpose,â you muttered, hiding your face in the crook of his shoulder.
âah,â he said, smirking, âso you know iâm doing it on purpose. good. that makes it fun. okay, serious question time thoughâŠâ he paused, leaning closer, teasingly lowering his voice, âif we never⊠you know⊠end up dating, are you still gonna let me mess with you like this?â
you froze, heart thudding, cheeks burning hotter than ever. âjj!â
âwhat?â he said innocently, but the grin was already in his voice. âi just want to know if the promise extends to⊠other privileges. you know, privileges of being stuck with me.â
âprivileges?!â you sputtered, flustered beyond reason. âthis is ridiculous!â
âexactly,â he said, brushing his nose against yours lightly, âridiculously fun. and youâre the one who started this whole conversation, remember?â
you groaned, exasperated, but somehow, underneath it all, your heart was twisting in the way only jj could make it twistâ warm, nervous, excited, and completely unraveled.
if you guys didn't see my last post, i literally went out of 2025 with a fucking BANG. bro i got so sick i could not write NOR read omg. sorry for the delay, but i'm hoping to slowly get back into things now that i remember how to live. hope this wasn't as bad as i thought...if its not the best i blame it on the sickness...
oh for the love of god i just got like the worst cold ever and iâve been bed ridden since after christmas⊠thought i wasnât going to make it to 2026 but here i am! sorry for the delay my pookies đ i tried writing i think 2-3 days after i first got sick, but iâm rereading it now and itâs so horrendous i genuinely dont even think i wrote itâŠ
IâLL BE BACK SOON!! DONâT WORRY IâM READING REQUESTS AND SCREAMING JUST GIVE ME A BIT TO LEARN HOW TO LIVE AGAIN đ
feel free to reread my works if it makes you feel better đ deaduzz needed jj to take care of me. (Omg? fic idea??)
can you write a "ruin the friendship" by taylor swift for yn and jj?
but like, make it a happy ending please
meaby he's dating another girl and that's when yn ruins the friendship thinking it is too late
(if you don't like it is ok) đ€đ€
hi anon! sorry this took me so long...i'm not too much of a swiftie, so the song was hard for me to unpack because i couldn't limit my ideas and interpretations BUT i hope this is everything you were looking for and more!
jj maybank had been part of y/nâs life for so long that she wasnât sure when just knowing him had turned into needing him.
he existed in the background of every memoryâ sunburned afternoons on the cut, late nights sprawled on creaky couches, the sound of his laugh cutting through moments that mightâve otherwise fallen apart. jj didnât knock when he came over. he never had. he just showed up, barefoot and loud, like her space was already his.
most days, it was.
he stole her hoodies and never gave them back. he ate the food she swore she was saving. he leaned too close, talked too fast, filled silences before they had the chance to turn heavy. and somehow, y/n let him because it was jj, and jj had always been this way.
they fit together in the quiet moments best.
sitting on the dock with their feet skimming the water, shoulders brushing like it meant nothing. riding around on his bike with her arms loose around his waist, pretending she didnât notice the way he slowed down when the road got rough. falling asleep during late-night movies, waking up with his arm draped over her like it belonged there.
no one ever said anything. not really.
except the pogues noticed.
john b smirked every time they ended up side by side without thinking about it. kiara raised her eyebrows whenever jj instinctively reached for y/n first. pope once pointed out very calmly that jj listened to y/n in a way he didnât listen to anyone else.
âdonât be weird,â jj had laughed, slinging an arm around y/nâs shoulders like it proved his point. âit's just⊠y/n.â
just y/n.
the words stuck with her longer than they should have.
because to y/n, jj wasnât just anything. he was the person she looked for in every crowd. the one she wanted to tell everything to first. the one who could make her laugh even when she was trying not to. and somewhere between the shared jokes and the comfortable silences, the feeling had shifted into something deeperâ something heavier.
something she didnât know what to do with.
there were moments she almost said something. when jj looked at her a second too long. when his voice softened when he said her name. when he leaned close enough that she could smell the salt and sunscreen on his skin and feel her heart trip over itself.
but she never crossed the line.
because whatever this wasâ it worked. it was steady. it was safe. and y/n had learned early on that the good things in life didnât last forever. you didnât poke at them. you didnât risk breaking them open just to see what was inside.
so she stayed quiet.
she let the almosts pile up.
she let the moments pass.
she told herself that friendship was enough.
and jjâ still laughing, still close, still hers in every way that matteredânever noticed how carefully she held herself back.
or maybe he did.
either way, neither of them said the one thing that could change everything.
the realization didnât come all at once.
it wasnât dramatic. there was no single moment where y/n stopped in her tracks and thought, oh. no sudden confession to herself, no sharp clarity. it came the way the tide doesâ slow, steady, impossible to notice until it was already too late to step back.
it started with little things.
the way jj's name lit up her phone and made her smile before she even realized she was doing it. the way she saved stories just to tell him later. the way silence felt wrong if he wasnât the one sitting beside her.
she told herself it was normal. of course she caredâ jj was her best friend. of course she noticed when he was tired, when his jokes fell flat, when he got quieter than usual. anyone would.
except⊠not like this.
she noticed the shift the first time she felt disappointed that the day ended without seeing him. the first time she caught herself replaying a conversation in her head, wondering if sheâd said the right thing. the first time someone joked about her dating someone else and her immediate thought wasnât who, but how would jj feel about that?
that was when it scared her.
one evening, they were sitting on the hood of john bâs van, watching the sky melt into pinks and oranges. jj was talkingârambling, reallyâabout some half-baked plan for the summer, hands moving like he needed them to keep up with his thoughts. y/n wasnât really listening.
she was watching the way the light caught his face. the way his smile softened when he looked at her instead of the horizon.
and for a split second, she imagined leaning in.
the thought hit her so hard she almost pulled away instead.
her chest felt tight. too full. like something inside her had finally named itself, and now it refused to be ignored.
she laughed when jj laughed. she nodded at the right times. but her mind was spiraling.
this isnât what friends think about.
this isnât what friends feel.
the worst part was how ordinary it all felt.
there was no grand romance in itâjust familiarity. comfort. the kind of closeness built over years, not weeks. she loved knowing how he took his coffee. loved that he always checked if she was okay without asking directly. loved that he trusted her with the parts of himself he didnât show anyone else.
loved.
the word settled heavy in her chest.
later that night, lying awake in bed, y/n stared at the ceiling and tried to talk herself out of it. she told herself she was overthinking. that this would pass. that feelings were temporary, but what she and jj had was solid.
but every memory that surfacedâevery laugh, every late night, every time he chose her without realizing itâonly made the truth clearer.
she wasnât falling for him.
she already had.
and suddenly, the friendship that had always felt like home felt fragile. like glass. like something that could shatter if she so much as breathed wrong.
so y/n did what she always did when she was afraid.
she said nothing.
she swallowed the realization whole and hopedâquietly, desperatelyâthat it would hurt less if she kept it to herself.
it happened on a normal day.
that was the worst part.
y/n was leaning against the counter at the chateau, half-listening to john b and pope argue about something unimportant, when jj came in. sunburned, smiling, the kind of smile that always made her chest tighten, that made everything feel lighter.
but he wasnât alone.
her stomach dropped before her brain could catch up. a girl followed him inside like she belonged there. easy smile. confident. her hand brushed jjâs arm as if it was already a habit.
âhey,â jj said, glancing at y/n as he stepped forward. that familiar warmth in his eyesâthe one that always seemed to hold just for herâwas there, but now it felt like it belonged somewhere else.
âthis is katie,â he added, voice casual, like it was no big deal. âsheâs my girlfriend.â
the words hit y/n in slow motion. girlfriend. the room spun around her, but she stayed upright, gripping the counter until her knuckles went white. she forced a smile. âoh. cool. nice to meet you,â she said, her voice too light, too careful.
the word landed wrong.
girlfriend.
it echoed in y/nâs head, louder than the room, louder than the ocean outside. she felt it in her chest firstâa sharp, hollow dropâthen everywhere else, like her body was trying to catch up to something her mind hadnât accepted yet.
she smiled because that was what she was supposed to do. she reached for a drink she didnât want. she jokedâsomething automatic and forgettable. everyone else filled in the space for her, welcoming katie, asking questions, moving on.
y/n stayed where she was, nodding at the right times, pretending the ground hadnât shifted under her feet.
she told herself she was being ridiculous. jj was allowed to date. of course he was. this was what normal looked like. this was what happened when you waited too long, when you chose silence over risk.
still, it hurt more than sheâd imagined.
jj kept glancing her way, like he was checking in. like he always did. and that somehow made it worseâbecause it felt like a kindness she wasnât entitled to anymore.
at some point, katie laughed at something jj said and leaned into him, natural and easy. jj didnât pull away.
y/n looked away first.
later, when she finally found herself alone on the porch, the noise inside the house muffled behind her, she let herself breathe. the air felt heavier. like sheâd been holding something in for too long and didnât know how to let it go.
you waited, she thought.
you hesitated.
and now itâs too late.
jj came out a few minutes later. âyou okay?â he asked, casual, familiar.
y/n nodded immediately. âyeah. iâm fine.â
she wasnât sure if he believed her. she wasnât sure she cared.
because suddenly, everything made sense in the worst way possible. the happiness. the distance she hadnât noticed yet. the way the almosts had quietly slipped past her.
that night, lying in bed, y/n replayed the moment over and overâthe way heâd said it so easily. like it wasnât a big deal. like it hadnât changed everything.
and maybe, for him, it hadnât.
but for her, it was the moment she realized that staying quiet hadnât kept her safe at all.
it had just cost her the chance to speak before it hurt.
the pullback didnât happen all at once.
it came in small, almost invisible momentsâlike dust drifting through a sunbeam, easy to miss until it has settled everywhere.
y/n started with little things.
she lingered a step behind jj instead of walking beside him, letting the space between them stretch just enough to be noticed. she answered his texts, but her replies were delayed, clipped, carefulânot cold, just distant. when he told a joke, she smiled automatically, the laughter hollow at the edges. her eyes followed him, but she no longer reached out first.
every touch, every glance, became weighted with intention.
one afternoon, they sat on the dock, sun low and golden, the water reflecting light like broken glass. jjâs hand brushed hers as he reached for a beer. she froze for a heartbeat too long before moving hers, pretending it was an accident. he didnât comment, didnât pull awayâbut she saw the flicker in his eyes, the microsecond of confusion, and her chest tightened.
walking back from the water, jj talked like nothing had changedâhands gesturing wildly, voice bright, telling stories that spilled out faster than her mind could follow. y/n kept her responses short, neutral. she laughed, but her laugh was quieter, cautious, measured. each word she withheld was a shield, each pause a brick in the wall she was building between them.
at night, she replayed every detailâthe way he looked at her when he didnât think she was noticing, the curve of his smile, the familiar tilt of his shoulder. her own hands itched to reach for him, to lean in like they always had, but something taut and fragile inside her stopped her.
even the air felt heavier now. every room they shared was too bright, too loud, too full of things that reminded her what she could no longer have. when jj laughed, the sound cut through her like a blade she didnât know was there. when he leaned close to talk to someone else, she felt a small, sharp hollow in her chest that she couldnât name aloud.
he noticed the change. he always noticed.
âyou've been⊠different,â he said one evening as they walked along the beach, waves dragging pebbles behind them, the sky streaked with pink and gray. âdid i do something?â
y/n forced a shrug, keeping her gaze on the horizon. âno. iâm fine.â
he didnât look convinced. he never did. and that lookâhalf worry, half something elseâhit her harder than any words could.
so she kept pulling back, one measured step at a time, until the space between them felt permanent. every laugh she withheld, every word she trimmed, every step she took away was a quiet fracture, a thread loosening in the fabric of their friendship.
at night, when the world was silent and the stars reflected in the water, she let herself feel it: missing him. missing everything theyâd always had. missing the ease, the closeness, the version of herself that could be unapologetically near him.
but she couldnât reach for that now. reaching felt too dangerous.
so she let the distance grow.
let the quiet widen.
and let the friendship she loved more than anything fray under the weight of the words she couldnât speak.
it wasnât brokenânot yet. but it was fragile in ways she hadnât imagined. like the surface of the ocean at sunset: calm, beautiful, and ready to shatter with a single wrong move.
the night air was thick with salt and the distant crash of waves. y/n had been walking along the pier for what felt like hours, though in reality it was barely ten minutes. every step away from the vanishing sunlight felt like a step away from him.
she heard him before she saw himâjjâs voice calling her name, sharp and tense.
ây/n!â
she kept walking, her shoulders tight, her heart hammering, pretending she didnât hear him. her throat was tight, as if the words she wanted to scream, to confess, had turned into stone.
âstop!â jjâs voice was closer now, desperate but angry. âstop walking like iâm not right here!â
y/n froze but didnât turn around. âiâm⊠fine,â she said, forcing herself to keep going. her voice was smaller than she meant it to be.
âno, youâre not,â he snapped, finally stepping in front of her, blocking her path. the frustration in his eyes made her chest ache. âdonât lie to me. donât do this. youâve been avoiding me for weeks, and now youâre just walking away?â
y/n looked down, twisting her fingers in her jacket sleeves. âi⊠i need space,â she murmured, almost to herself. âi just⊠i canâtââ
âyou canât what?â he cut in, his voice rising, bordering on breaking. âyou canât tell me the truth? you canât say what you feel? or are you just going to disappear like it doesnât matter?â
she finally looked at him, her eyes rimmed red from holding back tears. âyouâre⊠youâre with her, jj!â she said, voice trembling. âiâ i canât⊠i canât do this. i canât keep pretending itâs okay when itâs not!â
jjâs jaw tightened. âiâm not with her!â he said, stepping closer, dangerously close. âiâve tried, y/n! i tried to convince myself it mattered, but it doesnât! not like this. not like you.â
y/n took a step back, shivering in more ways than the cold could explain. âyou donât understand. youâve always been⊠everything, jj. and iââ her voice cracked. âi canât risk it. i canât risk losing you.â
jjâs eyes softened for a second, then hardened again. âyou think i want you to lose me too?â his hands shot out, grabbing her shoulders gently but firmly, stopping her from stepping away again. âstop running. stop hiding. iâm right here. iâm not going anywhere, y/n. you canât just avoid me because youâre scared!â
she pulled back slightly, heart racing, voice shaking. âiâm not running. iâm⊠iâm protecting us!â
âprotecting us?â his laugh was bitter, almost painful. ây/n, you think avoiding me protects anything? itâs killing me. youâre killing this. do you even realize that?â
she blinked, tears spilling down her cheeks, anger and fear mingling. âyou donât get it, jj! youâve got her in your head now, and i⊠iâm not supposed to matter!â
âi do get it!â he shouted, voice echoing over the waves. âbut itâs not true! you matter more than anyone, more than her! iâve been trying to tell myself to wait, to be patient, but i canât do it anymore. not while youâre shrinking away from me!â
y/nâs chest heaved. she wanted to scream, to run, to tell him everythingâbut her fear tangled it all up. âiââ
he leaned closer, his forehead nearly touching hers. âno more hiding. no more avoiding. iâm here. iâve always been here. and iâm not going anywhere.â
for a moment, the world narrowed to the two of them: the sharp wind, the dark water, the sound of their ragged breathing, the storm of everything left unsaid.
y/nâs hands shook, her chest tight, but slowlyâalmost hesitantlyâshe stopped pulling away.
âi⊠iâm scared,â she whispered again.
âi know,â he said softly, a hint of a smile breaking through his frustration. âbut we can get through this. together. you and me.â
her shoulders sagged, relief and fear mixing into one overwhelming tide. and for the first time in weeks, she stopped running.
jjâs hands didnât leave hers. his eyes didnât leave hers. and finally, y/n felt like maybe, just maybe, it wasnât too late.
the night had settled into a calm quiet, the kind that only comes after stormsâboth literal and emotional. the pier was empty now, just the two of them and the gentle slap of water against the pilings. the moon hung low, casting silver streaks across the waves, and the air smelled like salt and something⊠new.
jj let go of her shoulders slowly, but he didnât step away. instead, he tilted his head, that familiar teasing glint in his eyes. âyou know what this means?â he asked, voice soft but playful, âyou really do this thing where you run from me, and iâm pretty sure itâs illegal in at least three states.â
y/n let out a small laugh, despite herself. âiââ she stopped, covering her mouth, her heart thundering. âiâm sorry. i didnât mean toââ
âhey,â jj interrupted, reaching for her hand again, but this time he wove his fingers through hers. âi get it. youâre scared. iâm scared too.â his thumb brushed over her knuckles, slow, deliberate. âbut look at us. weâre still here. you and me.â
y/nâs chest swelled, and a laugh broke free, shaky and full of relief. âwe really are,â she whispered, squeezing his hand.
jjâs grin softened into something warmer, more tender. âyeah. we really are.â
then, almost like it had been waiting for this exact moment, he leaned in. slow. careful. but full of promise. his forehead pressed against hers first, a breathless pause that made y/nâs knees feel like they might give out.
âyouâre mine, y/n,â he murmured, voice barely above the whisper of the waves. âiâve always been yours. donât ever run again.â
y/nâs hands found his face, cupping his cheeks, feeling the warmth of him. âi wonât,â she promised, voice trembling. ânot ever. iâ i love you, jj.â
his grin cracked again, this one wide, full of disbelief and happiness, and he kissed her. not rushed, not urgentâjust a slow, soft, everything-weâve-waited-for kiss that made the world shrink until it was only them.
when they pulled back, foreheads still touching, he whispered, âabout time.â
âi was scared,â she admitted, laughing softly against him. âyou made me so scared.â
âi know,â he said, nuzzling her hair. âand you made me miserable avoiding me. i almostââ he shook his head, smiling despite himself. âalmost lost my mind.â
y/n laughed again, this time freely, and leaned into him. âi almost lost mine too.â
they sat down on the edge of the pier, legs dangling over the water, hands still intertwined. jj rested his head against hers, and she leaned back, letting herself melt into him.
for a while, they didnât speak, just letting the waves and the moonlight hold them. and then jj broke the silence.
âyou know what this means?â he asked, smirking.
âwhat?â
âfirst official day of being ridiculous together. no backing out. no hiding. no running. ever.â
y/n laughed, hiding her face against his shoulder. âi think i can manage that.â
âand iâm still going to steal all your hoodies,â he added, smirking.
she shoved him playfully, and he laughed, the sound warm and familiar. âand iâm still going to let you,â she said, smiling against him.
and under the moonlight, with the ocean whispering around them, they both knew: this was just the beginning.
the kind of beginning where friendship became love, and love became home.
and for the first time in a long time, y/n wasnât afraid of anythingâexcept maybe how ridiculously, completely, wonderfully happy she was.
could i a request a jj x pogue! gf fic where perhaps groff stabs the reader instead of jj and heâs trying to talk to her to keep her from closing her eyes + maybe a bit of angst before maybe theyâre arguing and stressed jj is giving silent treatment until she gets hurt
thank you so much for your request anon! i loved writing this which is why it took me so long, but i hope this was what you were looking for and more <3
title: within reach
pairings: bf!jj maybank x gf!reader
word count: 7.6k (omg my longest fic đ)
warnings: typical obx plot, violence, cursing, swearing, angsty, fluff end
you and jj were good in the quiet, everyday ways that mattered. easy laughter, shared looks across the group, hands brushing like it was instinct. loving him never felt heavy to youâ you understood him, understood that some days he was all sharp edges and noise, and other days he folded inward like he was afraid of taking up space. you were gentle where the world hadnât been. you listened without prying, stayed without demanding, loved him without trying to fix what wasnât brokenâ just bruised.
jj, on the other hand, loved you with a kind of fear he never quite learned how to name. you were soft in a way that felt dangerous to someone like himâ too kind, too patient, too deserving of a future that didnât look anything like the one heâd imagined for himself. when things got bad in his head, when the noise of his past got loud, he pulled away not because he didnât trust you, but because he did. letting you see him unravel felt scarier than facing it alone. he wasnât used to being taken care of. wasnât used to someone choosing him without conditions.
and you always knew. when to reach for him, and when to give him space. you never chased, never guilted, just waited, steady and warm, like a lighthouse he could find his way back to. it didnât bother you when he went quiet; you trusted that heâd come back, and he always did. because no matter how far into his own head jj drifted, he knew one thing for certain: you were safe. you were home. and loving you was the one thing he never regrettedâ even when he was afraid he didnât deserve it.
this time, no, this adventure cracked something open in jj that neither of you were prepared for. finding out groff was his real father didnât come with tears or yellingâ it came with silence. a stunned, hollow quiet that followed him everywhere. he laughed less. slept worse. his shoulders stayed tight like he was bracing for a hit that never stopped coming. the idea that the worst parts of his life were tied by blood shook him deeply, made him question things heâd buried for years. and instead of leaning into you, jj did what he always did when something felt too big to surviveâ he turned inward.
you stayed anyway. you walked beside him when he barely spoke, sat next to him when his thoughts were clearly somewhere else, kept a hand on his arm like an anchor he didnât know how to ask for. you reminded him to eat, to breathe, to come back down when the spiral got bad. but as the days went on, it started to feel like he was moving forward without youâ making plans you werenât part of, carrying fears he wouldnât share, shutting doors instead of opening them. it scared you, the way he kept marching ahead like he had nothing left to lose. scared you because you loved him, and loving someone reckless with their own heart felt like standing too close to the edge.
your patience, once endless, began to fray. not because you didnât understand, but because understanding didnât make it hurt less. the fear twisted into something sharper, something hotter, and anger crept in where worry had lived. you werenât asking to fix him. you just wanted to be included. wanted to know what he was thinking before it destroyed him. jj didnât mean to push you away, but every time he chose silence, every time he decided alone, it widened the space between you. and for the first time, you wondered if loving him through the worst of it might finally cost you something, too.
after groff left jj at his motherâs grave, everything unraveled fast. you woke up alone, disoriented, the cold press of metal on all sidesâ locked inside a storage container with no signal, no light, and no way to reach jj. panic set in slowly, curling in your chest as hours passed and every call went unanswered. when pope, kie, cleo, and sarah finally found you and pried the door open, relief hit so hard it made your knees weak, but jj still wasnât there. and when he finally showed up again, like nothing and everything had happened all at once, he looked wrecked. hollow-eyed. smiling wrong. he insisted on staying the night and getting wasted, telling his story in pieces between swigs, like if he kept talking and drinking he wouldnât have to feel it.
when he finished his summary, the silence felt too loud. you moved closer without thinking, heart aching for him.
âjayj, iâm so sorry,â you said softly. âi shouldâve known better.â
he didnât look at you when he answered.
ây/n,â he said, flat and distant, like your name tasted unfamiliar. âthanks for your sympathy and everything, but it doesnât do anything.â
he lifted the bottle, gave it a little shake. âthis does.â he drank again.
and that was when it hit youâsharp and terrifying. jj never called you by your first name. never. you were princess, baby, something warm and close and his. hearing your name like that felt like watching him slip further away, past the point where you could reach him.
the sound of a boat cut through the night before you could say anything else. instinct kicked in for jjâ he sobered just enough to move fast, ushering everyone forward, keeping the group low as you slipped beneath the bridge toward the boat. he positioned himself in front of them, protective as ever. except you ended up in the back. and he never looked over his shoulder. not once. you followed anyway, quiet footsteps and a heavy chest, watching him climb into the boat last like he always didâ only this time, it felt different. like he wasnât making sure you were safe anymore. like he was already somewhere else.
once the sun finally crept above the horizon, washing everything in soft gold, you stayed quiet. not a single word had been said to you since jj shrugged you off the night before, and you didnât trust your voice not to break if you tried. still, he stayed closeâ close enough that his knee brushed yours, his hand resting heavy on your thigh like muscle memory. his fingers kept fidgeting, worrying at the hilt of that new sword-knife thing like it was the only thing keeping him grounded. he never once looked you in the eye. not when you shifted. not when the boat hit a wave. not even when you flinched at how tightly he was holding on.
it was jj who finally spoke, eyes fixed on the water ahead as he suggested they head to morocco for a couple weeksâ said it like a plan already set in stone, like he hadnât just decided it alone.
no one argued. no one needed to. silence had become the poguesâ way of saying weâre in, of promising that no matter how far or how dangerous, theyâd follow each other anywhere. you drove toward the docks on figure eight with that unspoken agreement hanging heavy in the air, already bracing yourselves to steal a bigger boat and disappear again. it felt familiar. it felt wrong.
the moment you stepped out, you felt itâthe stares. sharp. lingering. the kind that crawled under your skin. kooks lined the docks, watching like they were witnessing something they werenât supposed to see, eyes flicking between all of you before landing on jj. and yeah, the boat, the timing, the chaosâ you didnât exactly look like you belonged. but that wasnât the real reason.
the real reason was your boyfriendâs face plastered across town, on flyers and news screens and whispered conversations. murderer, they said without saying it. you glanced at jj, hopingâjust onceâ heâd look back at you. he didnât. and standing there under the rising sun, surrounded by judgment and fear and plans you werenât part of, you felt it settle deep in your chest: this was getting worse. and you didnât know how much longer love alone would be enough to save him.
they didnât even get the chance to steal the boat. red and blue lights cut through the morning haze as the pd caught up fast, forcing all of you back onto the patrol vessel with no other option but to run. everything turned frantic in secondsâ john b at the wheel, steering hard while everyone dropped as low as they could, bodies pressed to the deck, breaths held tight. your heart was pounding so loud you were sure it could be heard over the engine.
that was when jj pulled out the flare.
âjj,â you said first, sharp and warning, lifting your head just enough to see what he was doing.
pope immediately started rambling, panic spilling out of him as he tried to logic his way through the moment. âdude, what are you doingâjj, thatâs notââ and then sarah screamed his name, full-volume, terrified.
you looked up just in time to see it: one of the officers on the dock, weapon raised, aimed straight at the boat. everything blurred. jjâs hand was suddenly on the back of your head, forcing you down hard against the deck. he yelled your nameâreally yelled it, raw and desperate and then he was moving, standing just long enough to fire the flare. it shot through the air, bright and blinding, cutting just above the heads of everyone watching. the officer hesitated, thrown off for a split second by the sudden burst of light and chaos.
and then mr. carrera came out of nowhere.
he shoved the officer hard, knocking his aim off at the last second. the shot rang out anywayâloud, sharpâand instead of hitting any of you, it tore into the inflatable side of the boat. you felt it before you heard it, the sudden shift, the hiss of air escaping fast as the boat began to deflate beneath you. panic exploded all at once, voices shouting, the deck dipping as the reality set in. you lifted your head again, heart in your throat, eyes searching for jjâ only to find him already looking ahead, jaw clenched, like he was daring the world to hit him harder.
you washed up on a stretch of shore none of us recognized, sand scraping under our palms as we stumbled out of the half-deflated boat. everyone was breathing hard, adrenaline still buzzing, the ocean eerily calm behind us like it hadnât just tried to swallow you all whole. the second cleoâs feet hit solid ground, she rounded on jj.
âreally rude, boy,â she snapped, gesturing back at the boat. âlook what you did.â
jj scoffed, dragging a hand through his hair. âwe wouldâve had a lot more holes if i didnât send one to them.â
cleo didnât even stop walking as she passed him. âyou shot at them first.â
that was it. whatever thread had been holding everything together finally snapped.
âsheâs done,â cleo said loudly, but it landed heavier than shouting. âno more.â
âgreat,â kie muttered under her breath.
pope stared at the sinking boat, panic creeping into his voice. âokay, soâ how are we supposed to get out of here now?â
no one answered. the silence pressed in, thick and uncomfortable, until john b finally stepped forward, eyes locked on jj.
âshooting at a cop, huh?â he said, disbelief edged with anger.
jj let out a humorless laugh. âhere we goâŠi fired a flare over their heads to slow âem down. and it worked.â
john b shook his head, jaw tight. âyou realize weâre all in danger now, right? all of us. weâre all screwed.â
the words hung there, heavy and undeniable.
kie exhaled sharply, rubbing her temples. âcan this wait?â she said, forcing herself to stay focused. âweâre trying to find a way out of here.â
you stood a few steps behind them the entire time, sand clinging to your clothes, chest aching as jjâs voice echoed in your ears. he never once turned around to look for you. and somehow, that hurt worse than the yelling ever could.
jjâs laugh came sharp and bitter, cutting through what little calm was left. âi didnât ask any of you to follow me,â he said. âdidnât ask you to come with me at all.â
that was when you finally spoke.
âyou donât get to say that,â your voice came out steadier than you felt, but it carried. âwhat matters right now is that weâre all here. and you did something really stupid, jj.â
he turned on you instantly, anger flashing in his eyes. âstay out of it.â
before you could respond, john b stepped forward, furious. âdonât talk to her like that,â he snapped. âwe all risked everything to be here with you and you made it worse. look at pope. he threw away his whole life to save you.â
something in jj finally snapped.
âi donât know why you did that, pope!â he yelled, voice raw, echoing down the beach. âi never asked you to! if itâs like that, iâll gladly take the hit for everything. i donât care anymore. my lifeâs already over anyway!â
that was it.
âstop,â you shouted, the word tearing out of you. everyone froze. you never yelled. ever. âstop saying that shit. and stop acting like iâm not standing right here.â your hands were shaking, chest tight as you stepped closer to him. âyou donât get to decide that your life doesnât matter. and you donât get to push me away like this and pretend it doesnât hurt.â
jj laughed again, but it was hollow, desperate. âitâs not my fault you started dating me,â he shot back. ânot my fault any of you followed. i didnât make anyone do anything.â
âyouâre wrong,â you said, voice breaking despite yourself. âbecause i chose you. over and over. and you donât get to erase me when things get hard.â tears burned in your eyes. âiâve stood by you through everything. you donât get to shut me out, name yourself hero, and call it protecting me.â
for a moment, jj looked like he might say somethingâanything, but all that came out was anger and hurt twisted together. and standing there, watching him unravel, you realized this fight wasnât just about the boat, or the cops, or groff. it was about how hard jj was trying to disappear and how desperately you were trying to hold him in place.
jjâs face was twisted, voice raw, and he stormed toward you like a storm about to break.
âyou think i care about your feelings?!â he yelled, spitting the words like they were knives. âyou think i ever wanted any of this? i didnât ask for you, i didnât ask for any of you, and donât act like i did and blame it all on me!â
every word hit like a punch. your chest tightened, throat raw, because it was so himâ reckless, sharp, throwing everything at you even though youâd never hurt him.
âjj!â john b barked, shoving him back with enough force to make him stumble. âback off.â
you didnât respond. you didnât argue. you just let the tears fall, warm and hot on your cheeks, refusing to meet his eyes. and for the first time that day, jj froze. the anger faltered, replaced by something raw and real as he realized what his words had done.
before anything could settle, sirens cut through the morning, officer shoupe closing in. panic shot through everyone, but then, like a punch of adrenaline, rafe appeared, stepping between the officer and the pogues. and somehow, chaos turned into coordination: the pogues and rafe were moving together, working as one.
you felt a strange mixture of relief and fear, chest tight, eyes flicking to jj. his hand brushed yours briefly, tentative, almost apologetic. small as it was, it reminded you that maybeâjust maybeâhe hadnât completely lost you.
jj slouched down beside you, bottle in hand, swaying slightly with the motion of the boat. his eyes met yours for a fleeting second, then darted away.
ââŠso, about earlier,â he muttered, voice uneven. âyeah. sorry. i guess.â
you raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. âthatâs it? thatâs your apology?â
he shrugged, looking anywhere but you. âwhat do you want me to say? i said it. didnât do much? fine. not my fault.â
you sighed, leaning back on your hands. âjj⊠you donât get it. you donât get what you put me through when you act like this.â
âme? iâm not the one crying,â he shot back, taking a swig from the bottle. âyouâre fine. right? youâre still here. canât ruin that, can i?â
the words dug into your chest, sharp and careless. you gritted your teeth. âitâs not about whether iâm here! itâs about how you treat meâ like i donât matter anymore, like iâm just⊠optional!â
jj laughed, bitter and small. âoptional? i donât know what you want from me. i said sorry. iâm⊠iâm trying.â
that was it. something inside you snapped. you shoved the bottle out of his hands, hands trembling, voice loud enough to echo across the deck.
âno, jj! youâre not trying! youâre just⊠messing around, acting like nothing matters, and iâm sick of it! iâm sick of being ignored, pushed away, made to feel like iâm not part of this!â
for a heartbeat, the wind seemed to pause, the ocean holding its breath. jj stared at you, expression unreadable, thenâwithout a wordâhe grabbed the bottle right back.
and just like that, the fight hung there, unresolved. he said nothing, just tilted the bottle to his lips again, leaving you staring at him, chest tight, furious, and aching all at once.
instead, you walked over to the girls. sarah and kie were sitting on the deck, knees pulled up, staring out at the waves. you dropped down beside them, letting the sea breeze cool your flushed cheeks.
âugh, heâs⊠heâs impossible,â sarah muttered, running a hand through her hair. âone minute heâs sweet, the next minute heâs⊠this mess.â
âi know,â kie said, nodding, eyes on the horizon. âand itâs not like he means to be. heâs just⊠drowning in everything and doesnât know how to pull anyone in without panicking.â
you let out a tired sigh. âyeah, i get that. i really do. but itâs like⊠i donât know, sometimes it feels like iâm just another thing he has to deal with instead of someone he wants to be with. and today⊠today really sucked.â
sarah reached over and grabbed your hand. âhey, donât beat yourself up. youâre⊠youâre patient as hell. youâve got more heart than anyone else i know. and he knows it, even if he doesnât show it.â
kie laughed softly, nudging you. âyeah. and honestly? i think heâs scared. heâs scared of losing you, scared of feeling⊠everything. thatâs why heâs being such a mess right now.â
you swallowed hard, letting the truth sink in. âi just⊠i hate seeing him like this. i hate knowing heâs hurting and that i canât fix it for him.â
sarah squeezed your hand. âyou canât fix him. not completely. but you can be there. and thatâs more than most people could ever do.â
you nodded, taking in the quiet comfort of them both. for now, that was enoughâ you didnât need to chase jj, not yet. you just needed to breathe, sit with friends who understood, and hope heâd come back to you when he was ready.
a few hours later, the storm was closing in fast. wind whipped across the deck, waves towered over the sides of the boat like they wanted to drag it under, and rain lashed against your skin. but no one faltered. you and your friends moved with practiced chaos, doing everything you could to keep the boat afloat.
john b and pope were at the wheel, hands white-knuckled, shouting directions over the roar of the storm. you, cleo, sarah, andâŠjj⊠were in the kitchen trying to secure anything that could go flying. except⊠jj wasnât doing much. he was just sitting there, half-slouched on the bench, sipping on his beer like the storm wasnât even happening.
âjj, can you get up and do something?â sarah yelled, voice tight with frustration. he didnât budge. the box in front of him slammed against the wall of the cabin with a thud, but he just stared at it.
sarah leaned close to cleo, whispering under her breath, and cleo shot you a glance. âi⊠i donât know what i can do,â sarah murmured, shaking her head slightly.
you apologized, heart hammering, and moved to the other side of the cabin to secure whatever you could.
âhey, rude boy,â cleo called, voice sharp, âthis is a group activity, you know.â
jj rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed, until he caught sight of you. your frantic movements, the way you were gripping the ropes, your eyes wide with fearâ it hit him. something finally clicked.
he set his beer down, muttered something under his breath, and started tossing items into the box with purpose. boxes, ropes, bottlesâ anything that might fly loose in the chaos of the storm. it was like the weight of the last few hours finally registered, like he realized he wasnât just responsible for himself. and for the first time in a long time, you saw him fully present again, working alongside all of you to keep everyone safe.
the storm hit like a living thing. the waves rose like mountains, crashing over the deck, tossing ropes, boxes, and even people like ragdolls. the wind screamed in your ears, cold and unforgiving, whipping rain and salt into your face. every step was a battle; every hold was a fight to keep from being thrown across the deck. the boat shuddered and groaned as it was slammed by the relentless sea, the engine straining against the fury of nature.
you stumbled, trying to hold onto a rail, and thenâ pain shot through your head. you had slammed it against the edge of a cabinet. stars danced in front of your eyes, and your vision blurred. and then jj was there, hands gripping your shoulders, face inches from yours, concern sharp in his eyes.
âhey, hey, are you okay?â he yelled over the storm, steadying you against him.
you blinked, trying to process, but thatâs when you noticed she wasnât thereâsarah. your stomach dropped, and in the distance, a scream cut through the roar of wind and rain. your pulse spiked.
âjj!â you screamed, hoping, praying heâd hear you. but he didnât move away. he just met your gaze, eyes locking with yours, soft, almost calm, a small smile cutting through the stormâs madness. and then, as if it were instinct, he bolted into the pouring rain, disappearing into the towering waves.
your head throbbed, your body shaking, but you forced yourself up and ran toward john b at the helm. the wind tore at you, rain stinging your face, heart hammering. and then⊠the sight hit like a punch to your chest.
john b was screaming sarahâs name. your stomach lurched as you saw her slip over the side of the boat, swallowed by the gray fury of the ocean.
âno! sarah!â you screamed, lungs burning, throat raw.
then a familiar voice cut through the chaos. âsarah!â jjâs voice, strained and desperate, echoing over the waves. you saw him sliding across the slick deck, grabbing whatever he could to stabilize himself. he seized the safety lifesaver and hurled it into the ocean. "i'm coming sarah!"
âjj!â you screamed, louder than you ever thought possible, voice cracking, your body trembling. he didnât stop. he dove into the stormy sea, and both of them disappeared beneath the waves.
your knees buckled, chest heaving, and all you could do was collapse against the deck, tears streaming freely, salt and rain mixing with your sobs. your heart pounded, stomach twisting, and your entire body shook with panic and fear.
john b grabbed your arms gently, steadying you as you fell against him. his face was tight, jaw clenched, eyes shadowed with the same heartbreak you felt, though he didnât say a word. he guided you back toward the helm, letting you cling to him, both of you swallowed by the storm, trapped in the raw terror of what had just happened.
the storm finally started to relent, though the waves still heaved and groaned around the boat. somehow, miraculously, you all made it throughâ you, cleo, rafe and almost everyone aliveâ and the ship limped toward a stretch of shore covered entirely in dunes. sand stretched as far as the eye could see, pale and endless under the muted light of the breaking storm.
you were quiet, exhausted, legs trembling from adrenaline and fear. you sank to the ground for a moment, letting yourself just breathe, but the tension, the fear, the adrenaline, it all built up inside you. without thinking, you got to your feet and started walking away from the group, letting out a scream so raw, so gut-wrenching, that it almost felt like it could cut through the air.
the rest of your pogue friends, even rafe flinched at your sudden outburst. almost as it took the knife in everyones hearts and turned it even more.
a less-than-a-mile away, through the shifting sand and haze, you saw figuresâ one in a white dress, the other in shorts and a t-shirt. your heart slammed in your chest.
âjohn b!â you yelled, your voice cracking. âover there!â
he spun, eyes following your gaze, and without hesitation, stumbled toward the figures. âsarah!â he shouted, rushing forward. he tripped slightly but didnât fall, arms outstretched. she ran to him, and they collided into a desperate, shaking embrace.
âsheâs okay!â john b gasped, relief overwhelming him. âsarah⊠youâre okay!â
âiâm okay,â sarah sobbed into his shoulder, voice small but steady. âjj saved me⊠saved us.â
you sank to the sand, utterly spent, shaking, tears pouring freely down your cheeks. and then, the figure you had been holding your breath for finally emerged from the dunes. he jogged toward you, sandy and soaked, face streaked with water and dirt, eyes softening the second he saw you.
ây/nâŠâ he breathed, voice low, almost reverent.
you looked up at him, body trembling. âjjâŠâ you whispered, collapsing forward into the sand, overwhelmed.
when he reached you, he knelt down, hands gently trying to hold your shoulders. ây/n⊠itâs okay. iâm here. i got you,â he said, voice rough but soft, full of relief.
you looked up at him through tear-streaked eyes, shaking your head. âwhy⊠why would you do that to me?â you choked out, voice breaking. âhow⊠how could you leave me?â
jj tried to draw you closer, brushing wet hair from your face. âi didnât leave you. iââ
but you couldnât hear him over the storm inside your chest. the words youâd been holding in, the fear, the terror, the angerâthey all erupted. you wrenched your hands free, shaking, wailing, body racked with sobs. âno, no, no! i canâtâ donât even!â
jjâs eyes widened, but he didnât pull away. instead, he wrapped his arms around you as tightly as he could, letting you cry, letting you unload all the pain, guilt, and fear youâd been carrying.
you buried your face into his chest, crying so hard it felt like your lungs might give out. jj rubbed your back, murmuring soft, broken words over and over: âitâs okay⊠itâs okay⊠iâm here⊠iâm hereâŠâ
and that was all you could do. you clung to him, body shaking, tears soaking his shirt, while he held you like he was never letting go.
the sun had fully disappeared behind the dunes, leaving only the muted glow of the campfire casting long shadows over the sand. pope, kie, cleo, sarah, john b, and even rafe were gathered close, their faces illuminated by the flickering flames, murmuring quietly, laughing softly to keep the tension from eating at them. jjâs figure rose from the firelight, sand still clinging to his hair and clothes, and he motioned for you to follow him.
you hesitated, chest tight, throat heavy, but something in his lookâsomething raw and unspoken pulled you forward. the dunes behind the fire offered some privacy, a buffer from everyone else. he stopped, letting you catch up, and for a long moment neither of you spoke. the wind rustled over the sand, carrying the scent of salt and the lingering storm.
finally, you broke the silence, voice raspy, but sharp. âi canât even look at you right now,â you said, eyes fixed on the ground. âiâm⊠iâm so mad at you, jj. do you even realize what youâve done? what youâve put me through these past⊠these past hours?â
jj swallowed, eyes dark and shadowed by guilt, but he didnât move closer, didnât reach for you. âi know,â he said quietly, almost too quietly. âi know i screwed up. i⊠i didnât meanââ
you cut him off sharply, tears brimming. âyou didnât mean anything! you act like it doesnât matter, like i donât matter! you left me, jj! you risked everything, and all i could do was scream and watch youâwatch all of you vanish into that ocean, and you didnât even think about me!â
he flinched at your words, pain flickering across his face, and finally took a hesitant step closer. ây/n⊠i wasnât thinking straight. iââ
âno!â you yelled, finally lifting your head, though your eyes stayed averted. âstop. stop talking. you have no idea what itâs like to sit there, helpless, terrified, watching you throw yourself into danger over and over. do you even know how scared i was? how angry i am at you for making me feel like i didnât even matter? i love you so much i was about to throw myself over to find you before john b helped me back inside. itâs like you gave up. on yourself and me.â
jjâs shoulders slumped, jaw tight, and his voice dropped to a hoarse whisper. âi do. i⊠i know now. i just⊠i donât know how to stop messing it up. i thought i was doing the right thing.â
you finally met his eyes, and the hurt and rage in your gaze was mirrored by the stormy vulnerability in his. âyou canât just⊠keep doing this, jj. you canât keep throwing yourself away and expect me to⊠to just be okay with it. youâre not just hurting yourselfâ youâre hurting me. and i⊠i donât know if i can take another day of this.â
he closed the distance between you slowly, eyes soft but haunted. âi donât want to lose you. not ever. youâre⊠everything to me, baby. and i⊠i donât know how to show it right, but iâll do whatever it takes. i promise.â
you shook your head, chest heaving, feeling the rawness of the day and all that had come before pressing against your ribcage. âi donât know if promises are enough anymore, jj,â you whispered, voice breaking. âi can't stop myself from loving you, but just know you are hurting me in ways i can't promise i can recover from.â
jj stayed there, letting the wind whip around both of you, letting the silence stretch, letting you feel all the anger and fear you had carried without trying to fix it with words. and in that quiet, fraught space, it felt like the world had stoppedâ just the two of you, raw and unguarded, standing on the dunes as the firelight flickered far behind, hearts trembling, unsure, and painfully alive.
the next day felt unrealâ almost like you were moving through someone elseâs life. youâd been running on empty for hours, trekking through heat and sand with the pogues and rafe, chasing the blue crown like it was the only thing tethering you to forward motion. then finally achieving it.
you hadnât said a single word to jj. not when he walked beside you. not when your hands brushed. not even when the tension sat heavy between you, thick enough to choke on. silence was easier than risking another crack.
you were beyond glad that you guys finally had the blue crown, but you couldn't help but ask yourself at what cost?
by the time the sandstorm hit, it came fast and violent. the sky darkened without warning, wind screaming as sand whipped through the air, stinging your skin and stealing your breath. shouts blurred together as the group scattered, visibility dropping to almost nothing. you moved on instinct, pulling your scarf higher, pushing forward, trying to find coverâanythingâto wait it out.
ây/n!â you heard jj somewhere behind you, his voice swallowed by the wind.
you didnât turn back. you couldnât.
you pushed ahead, heart pounding, until suddenlyâ you collided with someone. strong arms wrapped around you, too tight, too wrong. before you could scream again, something cold and sharp pressed against the side of your neck, just enough to make you freeze.
your breath hitched.
your heart dropped straight into your stomach.
and then you screamed his name.
âjj!â
the wind tore the sound from your throat, but it was desperate, rawâ every ounce of fear youâd been holding in spilling out all at once. the grip tightened, the blade pressing closer, and all you could think was not like this, not now, not when i never even said anything back.
somewhere in the storm, you knew heâd heard you.
the storm howled outside, sand whipping through the tiny shelter and cutting at your skin, but you barely noticed. all that mattered was the hard weight of groffâs arm around you, the cold steel of the blade pressed just to the side of your face. panic curled in your stomach, sharp and suffocating.
âjjâŠâ you breathed, voice trembling, barely audible over the wind.
then, finally, he was there. boots pounding against the sand, eyes scanning the chaos with raw desperation.
ây/n!â he screamed, his voice carrying all the fear and anger heâd been holding back.
groffâs grip didnât falter, but the moment the door slammed behind jj, your world seemed to shrink. he spun to face them, and jj froze, his heart slamming against his ribs. there he wasâgroff. with a blade pressed dangerously close to your cheek, his shadow dark against the dim interior of the shelter.
âlet her go,â jj growled, voice low, trembling just enough to reveal the fury and fear underneath.
groff chuckled, the sound cruel and harsh. âi donât think so, boy. youâve got something i want.â
jjâs fists clenched, knuckles white. âyouâre not taking her. not now. not ever.â
groff pressed the blade closer, just enough to make you flinch. âthen maybe iâll make sure you watch while i do.â
your stomach dropped. jjâs eyes softened on you for the briefest second, just enough to silently tell you to stay calm, even as the storm outside and the threat inside pressed in. he wasnât backing down. and for the first time, it wasnât about treasure or revengeâ this was all about protecting you.
âyou donât want to do this,â jj said, voice low, deadly, his gaze locked on groff. âlet her go, now.â
the seconds stretched, electric and suffocating, the storm outside echoing the tension in the ally. you pressed back against groff, trembling, and jj stepped closer, every movement radiating the raw, desperate.
jjâs eyes never left groff, every muscle in his body taut, every movement calculated, every heartbeat pounding with fear and anger. he couldnât bear listening to your whimpers much longer. âfine,â he growled through clenched teeth. âiâll make the exchange. just⊠donât you dare hurt her.â
groff smirked, a cruel glint in his eyes. âstep forward,â he ordered, pressing the blade closer to your side to nudge you along. you swallowed, hands trembling, and moved carefully, every step heavy with dread, toward jj with the crown clutched tightly in his hand.
jjâs jaw tightened as he held it out, eyes locked on groffâs. the air between them crackled with tension, the storm outside matching the chaos inside the shelter.
and thenâpain, sharp and sudden, stabbing into your back. you gasped, stumbling, and before you could even scream, strong arms pulled and wrapped around you, catching you off balance.
his arms wrapped around you, holding you tight against the storm, sand lashing at your skin and rain cutting across your face. you pressed into him, desperate for some grounding, and for a moment, it felt like the world had narrowed to just the two of you. he pulled back slightly, tilting your chin with careful fingers, and looked into your eyes. you hugged him again, tighter this time, as if clinging could keep the chaos at bay.
groff, behind you, was distracted by the crown in his hands, examining it like it was his prize. then he shifted, moving silently toward jj from behind, and your heart lurched. you buried yourself deeper into jj, holding on, every instinct screaming to protect yourself, to protect him.
then you lifted your head just enough to meet his eyesâand they were different. frantic, sharp, almost desperate, like he could sense your life slipping away. your chest tightened, fear slicing through you sharper than the storm outside.
jj reached for your face, his hands trembling and froze.
blood. his palms were smeared red, sticky, and his eyes widened in horror.
groffâs blade moved again, aimed for jj, and in a desperate, instinctive motion, you twisted your body, turning jj so that your ribs were in line with the strike. pain tore through you, hot and sharp, and you gasped, blood staining your shirt almost instantly. your body sagged slightly against jj, trembling, and he caught you immediately, eyes wide with panic.
for a long, suspended moment, time froze. both jj and groff stared at you, shock and disbelief etched into their features. and then, as if the world itself swallowed him whole, groff was goneâ vanished completely, leaving no trace he had ever been there.
ây/nâno, no, no,â jj shouted, your name tearing out of him like it hurt to say it. his voice echoed off the walls, swallowed by the storm, but he didnât stop. âheyâhey, stay with me. look at me. please, look at me.â
your knees buckled, the pain stealing the strength from your body, and jj caught you just in time, sinking to the ground with you in his arms. everything felt distant, muffled, like you were underwater. still, you forced yourself to look up at him. his face was wreckedâeyes wide, panicked, tears cutting clean lines through the dirt on his cheeks.
you smiled anyway. soft. small. like you always did for him.
âhey,â you breathed, wincing as the pain flared. âiâm⊠iâm okay.â
âno, youâre not,â he choked, hands shaking as he tried to hold you steady. âdonâtâdonât do that. donât smile at me like that.â
he moved fast, frantic, stripping off his jacket, fumbling with your clothes just enough to press fabric hard against your side, hands firm as he tried to stop the bleeding. âiâve got you,â he kept saying, over and over, like if he said it enough times, it would come true. âyouâre gonna be fine. you hear me? you have to be fine.â
your vision blurred, the edges of the world dimming. jjâs voice sounded farther away now, breaking as he yelled into the storm.
âjohn b!â
his voice cracked. louder. âjohn b!â
then, desperateâterrifiedâ
âpope!â
you felt his forehead press to yours, his breath shaking. âdonât you dare leave me,â he whispered, raw and unguarded. ânot after everything. please.â
the last thing you saw was his faceâ his eyes locked on yours, full of fear and love and regret before the darkness finally took you, the storm fading into nothing at all.
you came back to consciousness slowlyâ like being pulled up from deep water.
everything was white. too white. a bright light burned above you, forcing your eyes shut as soon as you tried to focus. your head throbbed, body heavy, and somewhere nearby you heard muffled voicesâ overlapping, hushed, anxious. you frowned, confused, trying to piece together where you were, when your hand shifted and something tugged at your arm.
an iv.
panic surged. you tried to sit up on instinct, and the pain hit you all at onceâ sharp, blinding, stealing the air from your lungs. a scream tore out of you before you could stop it.
the voices stopped instantly.
footstepsâ fast, heavy, urgent rushed toward you, and suddenly the door flew open.
the door swung open, and cleo was the first to rush forward. her eyes were wide, brimming with tears, and she practically threw herself at you. ây/n!â she cried, wrapping you in a tight hug. you could feel her trembling as she held onto you like sheâd been afraid youâd vanish again. âdonât you ever scare me like that again,â she whispered fiercely, resting her forehead against yours for just a second before stepping back.
next came pope, shoving the door wider as he ran in, face pale but relieved. he knelt beside the bed, gripping your hands in his like he wasnât going to let go. âdamn it, y/n, you scared the hell outta me,â he muttered, voice rough, shaking just a little. he squeezed your hands again, as if to make sure you were really there, really alive.
kiara was next, moving carefully toward you, tears falling freely now. she pressed herself into you, one arm around your shoulders, the other gently brushing your hair from your face. âyouâre okay⊠youâre okay,â she repeated, voice breaking. âi didnât think i could handle losing you.â she kissed the side of your head softly, lingering just long enough to make you feel grounded.
sarah came in after, holding herself together better than anyone expected, but her voice cracked as she murmured, ây/n⊠iâm so glad youâre here.â she wrapped her arms around you, rocking you slightly, pressing her cheek to yours. âyouâre okay now. youâre okay, promise me.â
john b stepped up next, slower than the rest, as if bracing himself. he knelt down beside the bed and put one hand lightly on your shoulder. before saying anything, he pressed the top of your head against his lips in a brotherly, protective gesture. âyouâre safe now, y/n. donât ever scare me like that again,â he said quietly, voice low and steady, like an anchor. you could feel his warmth and the steadiness of him holding you together just by being there.
finally, jj lingered in the doorway, almost frozen. the storm of the past day was etched into his face, and for a moment, you werenât sure heâd move. then, slowly, carefully, he stepped forward and knelt beside you. his hands hovered, unsure at first, before finally resting on your arms. his lips parted, and he whispered, voice rough, âyouâve gotta stop scaring me like that, princess.â
you clung to him instinctively, letting the warmth of everyoneâs presence wash over you, but it was jj you pressed into hardest, relief and fear and everything crashing into one. for the first time since the chaos, you felt truly safe.
jj tightened his arms around you, holding you so close it felt like he was trying to keep every bit of you safe from the world. your head rested against his chest, and you could feel the steady beat of his heart beneath your ear, grounding you, soothing you.
âi love you,â he whispered suddenly, voice low but filled with all the weight of everything heâd been holding back. you froze for a second, letting it sink in, then wrapped your arms around him tighter. âi love you too,â you choked out, tears slipping down your cheeks, but this time they were soft and happy, not from fear.
he pressed his forehead to yours, fingers threading through your hair as he kissed your temple gently. âyou have no idea how scared i was,â he murmured, his lips brushing against your hair. âi thought⊠i thought i couldâve lost you.â
you held onto him, your hands on his back, feeling every tense muscle slowly relax under your touch. âyou didnât lose me,â you whispered. âyou never will.â
jj smiled softly, burying his face into your neck, inhaling your scent like it was the only thing keeping him sane. âiâm never letting go. not ever. you hear me?â
âi hear you,â you replied, hugging him closer, letting him feel your heartbeat press against his.
he lifted his head just slightly, brushing his lips against yours in a tender, lingering kiss that spoke of relief, love, and all the unspoken promises between you. then, he hugged you even tighter, one arm around your shoulders, the other cradling your head. âi love you. so much,â he murmured into your hair.
âand i love you,â you breathed back, resting your cheek against his chest, letting yourself melt into the warmth and safety of his embrace. for the first time in what felt like forever, you didnât have to fight, didnât have to be brave. here, in his arms, it was just the two of youâand that was enough.
jj pulled back just slightly, enough to look down at you, eyes glistening with tears he hadnât even realized were falling. for a heartbeat, neither of you said a word, just held each other, hearts racing, the storm of the past day finally behind you.
then, almost instinctively, he leaned in, pressing his lips to yours in a quick, but fiery and passionate kissâfull of relief, fear, love, and everything in between. you melted into it, hands threading through his hair, gripping him like you never wanted to let go.
when you finally pulled back, you rested your forehead against his, breathing hard, and noticed the streaks of tears on his cheeks. gently, you lifted a hand and brushed them away, your thumb lingering softly on his skin.
âhey⊠itâs okay,â you whispered, voice tender. âi'm okay.â
jj closed his eyes, letting your touch ground him, and whispered back, âiâm okay⊠because of you.â
you smiled softly, pressing one last lingering kiss to his temple, and hugged him tighter, heart and body pressed against his. for the first time since the chaos, everything felt right. you were alive, together, and in that moment, nothing else mattered.
hi !! đ just a little update for my anons & lovely people đ«¶
i just wanted to let you all know that i am currently working on your requests and i will get to every single one!!! thank you guys so much for the constant love and support â it genuinely means the world to me đ„č
as you can probably tell, i love basing my fics off the vibes / lyrics / feelings i get from songs, so if youâre sending in a request, it would help me SO much if you included a song example!! it can be the melody, the mood, when youâd play it, a specific lyric â literally anything. even the tiniest suggestion helps me create something that mightttt be more accurate to what youâre envisioning đđ«¶
please keep the requests coming!! i adore new ideas. that being said⊠i will admit i am horrible at writing smut đ§ââïž i can TRYYYYY but idk why itâs so hard for me LMAO. if anyone has tips, pls feel free to send them my way đ
and finally â a little life update for yâall: iâve been super busy studying for my CPT 1 exam, and after i took it i got so depressed because i was convinced i failed. like⊠it was bad. i literally got into my car and started screaming and doing the choke meme đđ BUT!!! I PASSED!!!! đđđ
which means more time to write, interact, and hang out with you all đ„° thank you again for everything â i love you guys so much 𫶠HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
