The best relationship you can have is the one with yourself.
A year and a half ago I made a promise to myself, the most important and valuable promise in my life so far.
To be 100% in love with myself and my life before I share it with anyone else. The last 18 months have been spent free falling into a world full of freedom, love and happiness, so much so that now I am so completely in love with my life that it is far to special and precious to just let anyone in.
Whether it is right or wrong this is just how I feel, never the less it works. Someone worth giving up your time, part of your heart and life for should only enhance your happiness and love you in the same way your best friends love you. Unconditionally, infinitely, and sincerely.
The person I was from age 14 to 26 would give anyone my time and love, it seems that being single over this last 18 months is what it took for me to realise my own true worth.
I strongly advise anyone in their twenties to embark on the journey I have just had.
Now I look at myself in a completely new way, I know who I am and I embrace every part of myself as I never have before.
Everyday I wake up and thank god that I’m single, or everyday something will happen or I will see something that reminds me of how blessed I am to be on my own. Seeing couples argue, treat each other badly, break each others trust, make each other worry, reminds me of how lucky I am to be my own best friend, partner and the person that is in charge of my emotions and my own happiness.
I have always said to boyfriends in the past, ‘If you are lucky enough to have found the person you love why waste a moment of time making each other feel anything less than amazing’.
Arguments, cheating, lying; I see it everyday. I have conversations with my girlfriends or just girls I work with who tell me how miserable their partners are making them; is this really what life is about?
It’s easy to be cut throat when your not in the relationship but surely this is a bit of common sense too. If it doesn’t make you happy, if it doesn’t make you feel good…. Just leave.
You always have a choice.
So many people spend their life’s always searching for that soul mate, some people lose theirs in awful circumstances, some people lose themselves trying too hard, and others, afraid to try at all. Life is to love, if you have been blessed enough to find that person you love, why ever waste a moment of your time treating them badly.
Love each other unconditionally, treat every day as if it may be your last, don’t go to bed on an argument, don’t break each others trust, don’t damage each others self esteem in anyway, and always focus on building each other up, never breaking each other down.
People ask me all the time onboard ,“Oh my God, why are you single”? Like it’s something bad!
Being single is my choice, my blessing, everything I have ever needed and the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I adore my own company, I adore the company of others too, I take so much pleasure in the smallest things in life, I love to cook, listen to music, dance, exercise and go to bed on my own. I love my job and I love meeting new people. The bottom line is, I love and appreciate every second of my freedom.
I find that people are so scared of life on their own, I’ve met so many people that stay with their partners because they are scared of being by themselves. You don’t have to be with someone to enjoy your life. I used to feel like half a person; the second half was always made up by the person I was with. Now I realise the importance of being a whole person, you don’t need anyone to complete you. You need to be happy on your own.
In my opinion, you must be 100% happy with your life before you even think about sharing it and words cannot express how important it is to be in love with yourself.
It may sound silly or melodramatic, but I truly believe this is the be all and end all with everything; you cannot fully love another if you don’t love yourself for who you really are. You cannot accept love truly into your life until you love yourself and the most important thing is that if that love was ever removed from your life, if your relationship ends, you still need to have the love for yourself. If you have that important base, you will always have the strength to move forward; no matter how battered or broken your heart feels.
The love for yourself cannot be based on how someone else feels about you, you need to stand on your own two feet.
This post could come across as harsh and maybe offensive to those in a relationship but for me it comes truly from my heart and soul. After spending my life being constantly pushed and pulled in different directions with my relationships, from being a young girl at 14 where my first long relationship created an impression on me that I will never forget, from that first bad impression of “supposed” love, I accepted love throughout my life in that form.
I then thought that this was all I would ever have, that I simply wasn’t good enough to be loved 100% so I would take 50% or whatever else I could get.
I jumped from relationship to relationship and I suffered, and I really didn’t know any different. I still believe that it is your first experience of love, and how you see love with your parents, that will always shape your impressions of love, relationships and what you expect.
Then I had the ‘if you can’t beat them join them’ kind of attitude, hurt people and that bad love that I received I then gave back to others. I continued to jump from relationship to relationship from a young girl up until just recently, where I have had the best relationship I could ever wish for…
The one with myself and the beautiful world around me. Now I jump from country to country falling in love with places, cultures and people everywhere, exploring and learning more and more about myself and what I want every day.
My love for myself in the past was based on the love of whichever bad relationship I was in gave me and I looked at myself in the same way as whoever I was with did, I never knew myself at all and every time I wanted to be on my own I would always fall into another relationship. Your self-confidence should never depend on someone else.
Today love is everywhere I look and I am in love with everything other than a man, and trust me I never run out of people and things to be in love with. I’m in love with my friends and the stories they tell me, all of their fantastic attributes. I’m in love with the countries I visit, my family, music, my hobbies and most importantly, I am in love with myself.
I used to be the girl who cancelled on her friends for a man. Don’t get me wrong, I always loved my friends dearly and I’ve always been a ‘girls girl’ as I say, but I would fall into patterns of shutting myself off from them when I was in serious relationships, Now I look at my best friend when she’s telling a story or were laughing together with so much love in my heart and I think, ‘God I was so crazy to ever pick a man over times like these’. I value every second spent with my friends now more than ever.
Your twenties should be your selfish years, that you discover yourself, spend your time traveling, laughing with your friends and just generally having fun and being free. When you settle down, you settle down, that’s it, and that will be a beautiful chapter of your life too, becoming a mum is the most wonderful thing that will ever happen to most women but once that journey begins there is no time at all to be selfish.
So to wrap it all up if this post gives you anything whether you’re in a relationship, single, married or brokenhearted, consider your relationship with yourself of highest importance. It is the best one you’ll ever have.














