𝔸 𝕤𝕥𝕦𝕡𝕚𝕕 𝕥𝕖𝕖𝕟 @caughtinacherrylove - Tumblr Blog

That's my fault for thinking I was special..

#teacher crush #student x teacher #teacher crush community #male tc #teacher crush rant #male teacher crush #tcc community #tc male #tc crush #about l

rocknrollangelsblog

drowningin-fantasies

perpetually thinking of this

I wanna briefly explain what this blog is, the lore why it was inactive, and my general “deal”

_________**TW: Grooming, Abuse**_________

I don’t fully consider myself a part of the tc community, I wonder if I ever was because I couldn’t see myself and L (my first teacher crush) being together. I fully believe he was either aware of my crush on him or knew that he had basically full control over what I would do with my life. That being said, he gave me career advice as well as basically pushing me to go to his old college, and do the same things he was doing, which would be teaching. I found out a year after I graduated it came out that he had groomed a student and made her go to the same college he had, and opened a job at my high school so she could work under him. It was very weird and strange and confusing to figure out, and though that was almost 4 years ago, I still think about it sometimes. Especially whenever Spring comes around because that’s when we would email each other and I would ask him what he thought about my future classes. My teachers would always compare me to the student that we now know he groomed. For a while I hated her, as I always thought if he had ever hit on me I’d be disgusted for his wife, and for going after teenagers. I’m still disgusted with him, yet I still have him on social media though soft-blocked just so every 6-10months or so I can see maybe what he’s up to. If he ever got fired or divorced or whatever have you, but it seems everyone forgave him-his wife, his college aged daughter, even the school. I wondered for a while if my emotions were even justified, if he really was going to make me his next “teacher” and engage in a sexual relationship with me after high school but I try to not let my mind wander. I got a lot of “ I told you so” and “are you ok” messages but I was never the victim, he never did anything to merit any concern. My parents didn’t really care, they thought I was upset because he was just my favorite teacher but our relationship was so strange I couldn’t ever find the words to describe it. There were moments that made me feel awkward, confused and thinking making it’s not all in my head and he’s playing into some shtick to make me sort of ‘worship’ him. And sometimes other teachers would be visibly uncomfortable, or even verbally for how he was treating me. The two closest pieces of media that sort of brought back up how I feel have been “Baby Reindeer” and “My Dark Vanessa” for how I feel about the situation, though still, he never did anything to me.

I hate him so much yet I pity him. He opened so much to me, and I told him so much of my personal life and home situation and talked to him every day from ages 14-18. I’ve had ex relationships I think about less than him, and I was friendly with all my teachers, but he was just different. He treated me different, differently than everyone else except for whenever his TA walked into the room, then I realized he would treat her how I treated me, and I figured that’s how he treated his friends, but why did I have a pit in my stomach. I know I should get over it, I’ve repressed his memory pretty well, but I’ve noticed now that I’ve been in college, I tend to look for him in other people. In relationships, I look for him whenever I have an older male teacher or professor, I look for L within them.. if that makes sense. I currently find a professor of mine attractive, which is normal, but I noticed I was falling into the dance of being an obsessive over-analytical high schooler again. It’s just not healthy and I’m doing a better job at it, much more so than a 14 year old girl.

My biggest wish in the world would just to have a conversation with him. Which I feel is so so counterproductive. I’ve tried therapy in the past with two different therapist for this exact situation but they didn’t really help, though they didn’t think taking with him was the best idea. I know logically closure doesn’t really exist, especially from an abuser but I would honestly just maybe benefit from it, ask him the questions I was scared to as a kid. I wonder if he meant to be innocent with me or was this another power play for him. I think about it and get angry, and then I miss him again. I feel he didn’t do anything bad enough to me, and since he (as far as we know) waited until she was in college to prey on her affection for him, people find that not enough to hate the guy. But I know he’s manipulative. I’ve seen that man barrel laugh, scream his stomach out, uncontrollably sob to the point where I was the only person who could’ve consoled him in that moment.

I remember I tried to reach out to him before the stuff about him came out. He never cared to reply back but that honestly was always like him. Then after it came out, I wondered if he was doing me a favor or was just trying to stay low, or maybe I was just so forgettable to him.

I know is the handmade gift I gave him almost 5 years ago went from being the only thing on his desk (besides papers) to him building a shelf in his office to hang it up as of 2 years ago since a friend of mine visited the school. And I hate knowing how conflicted that makes me feel.?

All I ask is for those in the teacher crush community please please don’t let the boundaries get murky, take a step back if the crush starts to feel too real because it’s not at all worth the headache and heartache and confusion you’ll feel around 5 years later.

caughtinacherrylove

I still miss him but he never has to know

nymph3ttie

My favorite genre of men are the burnt out one who you can tell know how to rock your world <3

simp-4-russian-prof

please think i’m pretty please think i’m pretty

Not me in love w my professor now lol

#can grown men stop making intense eye contact with me #especially if you have a beard FUCC #also no more L updates I’ll call this one P for Pp #L groomed somebody for all those who remember #tc #tcc #teacher crush community #teacher crush #coquette

It’s happening again 😀

tiredf-o-u-r

Remember my teacher crush? Lowkey think that dude was just grooming me LMAO

#SAME BESTIE SAME #he did it with another student 💆

hewasmymathtutor

pov: you crave validation and love from a teacher because you never received any as a child.

naomigrey

i wonder if he thinks about me

I miss seeing my friends

I miss simple days

I miss seeing you

I miss being 17

#i miss high school #teacher crush #tcc platonic #teacher crush community #platonic teacher crush

rhysaroni-deactivated20230517

i feel like the kind of yearning i have isn’t pleasant to view. it’s probably ugly, desperate, and pathetic. i’m relying on a sinking ship to bring me somewhere knowing i’ll only go down with it.

tc-blossom

somebody better make a term that explains hating and loving your tc at the same time because bro… 😭

bauhausluvr

stalking her profile and having to tab out every single time bcz its so embarrassing for no reason

galvantual-moved-deactivated202

baby girl is a beautiful name for an adult man

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