shark vs the universe
we're not kids anymore.
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Stranger Things
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
tumblr dot com
Mike Driver
JVL
🪼
almost home
roma★
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Origami Around
Monterey Bay Aquarium
★
Today's Document
dirt enthusiast
Cosimo Galluzzi
wallacepolsom
Keni
seen from Malaysia
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@cavernsss
20 February 2014
1. Understanding the difference between striving for perfection and striving for beauty
2. Feeling the drive and urge to finish it but finding so much more that can be done each time
3. Experiencing the need to linger and add the subtle finishing touches
4. Feeling this much closer to the Master Artist and Creator and understanding how He must have felt when He stood back and said ‘It is good.’
So beautiful
simple.
I think one of the saddest things is when two people really get to know each other: their secrets, their fears, their favourite things, what they love, what they hate, literally everything, and then they go back to being strangers. It’s like you have to walk past them and pretend like you never knew them, never even talked to them before, when really, you know everything about them.
Personal Work, 2013 | Valentin Chenaille
say something
I feel you everywhere in my head, my bones, my heart and my lungs you're choking me silently say something I'm giving up on you I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you was it really nothing say something
anything
made me teary oh gosh
gasp
I have a love-hate relationship with that feeling of anticipation; teetering on the edge but not yet falling over. it's that restless energy at the pit of the stomach that makes you want to hurl. Your heart palpitates in quick murmurs and you're silently gasping for breath. You're scared and all you want to do is withdraw from yourself - to shrink away unaffected because sometimes ignorance is bliss. it's in the beat that occurs after a confession like when you see an unopened message from a somebody or when you're waiting to know the results of something that's important or when you're right about to do whatever you spent your life waiting for
Right now I'm a ball of frazzled nerves. Shutting my ears tightly but opening my eyes widely - if you're going to tell me, tell me quickly. Do it fast like ripping off a band-aid so it'll be the least painful, I used to think that knowing everything was the best option but I learnt the hard way that it wasn't true at all. I'm overwhelmed by you, by transient words on a screen that leaves a permanent impression and I can only lull my thundering heart into a false sense of calmness and pretend this is existing outside of myself it is a stark reminder that I'm only human
tell me
how do you be friends with your former lover because in between the words there is a lot unspoken about him begging for a persistence in grace and you unresolved in an infinite ache; there is nothing left to be said in the revelation of day because we know what is true is hidden; but unforgotten under the covers of the night
regiment
...is probably the most apt descriptor of my life - I mean come on, which sane person would wake up at 6.30 am so that she can make it in time to queue to get a good seat in the library to study? Oh wait, that's me. Go figure. Taking a break from health psychology because I'm all burned out from my other papers and no one knows that to expect and I'm like haha isn't this ironic I'm studying about STRESS because I'm totally not ready for the exam on Tuesday so I'm yeah stress I totaaaaaally get you but that's the only thing I get because everything else is just wah wah wah wah wah wah and not entering my head. 5 more chapters to go UGH WHY
Totally in need of some girl time because I've seen the double Js every single day for way more than a month and you know, every girl has those days where boys r just dumb as a pile of bricks and girls are simply the best 4eva. I have to applaud them for making it through those days where I actually PMS. I told them I found out from British case law that PMS was used as a legal criminal defense before and they kinda turned pale. Can't wait for post-exams!!! Going to Rupinis for some routinely grooming, and thinking of trimming my hair and having nice side-swept bangs because I grew tired of looking like an upside-down mop. Yes! Excite!!!
cameo lover
you're my cameo lover / only here for a moment or two
if I'm going to be honest, I have to say that I don't really like myself a lot. This isn't a post where I weep and bitch and wallow in self-pity but I think it's more of me coming clean and facing the reality that I don't really feel comfortable in my own skin. Yeah sure I did a couple of stuff I'm proud of but at the end of the day I'm just confused and upset thinking where did I go wrong?
okay yeah some people (friends included) think its absurd that I have such a low self-esteem but the truth is I'm just plain awkward about everything. I mean I try to play it cool but I'm still the same fumbling, bumbling teenager I was back then. It's moments like these that make me wish I was one of those girls - those graceful, beautiful girls who have lovely blogs and posts gorgeous photos about their wonderful clothes and wonderful food and wonderful travels with their wonderful friends and their wonderful boyfriend in their wonderful life. I have to admit that I wish I could be like them. Sometimes at night when I'm alone lying in bed the realisation that my life is just a perpetual cycle of stress-drama-studies is a sobering one indeed; the feeling of loneliness is suffocating. It really gets to me. Gosh, I can't begin to express how much it affects me. And sometimes you just can't get what you want but you still try anyway.
fuck, I need a break away from all this.
猫
inspired by pabel pichugin
29.11.13
of hauls & other things
weekender high waisted denim shorts/ dreamweaver bucket bag/ studded jelly sandals/ mesh bralette
My latest haul from Nastygal during this period of exams. Semester 1 always gets me broke - never ending demand for toffee nut lattes, retail therapy to keep me sane, major arsenal of groceries and stationary to tide me through hall life, going out for good dinners as a reprieve...ouch $$$ sigh I definitely need to work over the holidays Then again, I'd like to think that I actually do deserve all these. I've been adhering to a strict regiment of waking up early at about 7 to study all the way to about 10 at night. And I've been doing that everyday for two and a half weeks. Ain't nobody interested in this mug life. The best part is that I am only Year 2 Semester 1 jeeeeeeeeez there's a long way to go just to complete my undergraduate degree. On top of that I'm seriously considering doing a graduate degree in law / masters in acting so I foresee a long school life ahead. I'm probably at an identity moratorium - exploration of interests without any commitment, so I'm just going ahead with everything. Yesterday I took a day-off to just chill-out and my parents brought me back to Toa Payoh. That neighbourhood is such a depository of memories for me. On my way I passed by the block of flats I used to live in Bishan and I had the Bak Kut Teh I've always had as a child at a nearby food centre and I even passed by my old kindergarten (although it is now a product of modernisation). I really had a pleasant time reminiscing in awe and indulging myself in the prevalent sense of nostalgia. Although I had to say that it was tainted with embarrassing recollections of the film shoots I did in Toa Payoh. (And before I forget, I got praised by my tutor who told me up front that he enjoyed my acting and it was one of the highlights of the film and yes!!! I was speaking chinese!!! Global stage here I come) It was such a bittersweet feeling. In one of the isolated car parks nearby, it was also the place where I got caught by the police for making out behind a van hahahahaha. I was so red-faced I wanted to just crawl in the hole and die but fine it's actually quite funny looking back at it. Definitely one of the most crazy-teen moments in my life.
I think that during periods of stress; where you're hard-pressed to accomplish things, the mind seems to wander around a lot. I've been thinking a lot, about everything and nothing all at once.
"I was very ballsy when I was younger, it was the typical kind of stubborn that comes with being a teenager, you're just an idiot and you think 'yeah, I'm gonna be an actress and that's what's going to happen' and just have no concept of failure and now I have every kind of concept of failure. You just become more aware of your mortality as you get older like you're little and you're so brave and you jump on any wild horse and go ride on motorcycles and then you get a little bit older and you realise how fragile your job is, how fragile your life is and you get more careful"
okay back to work
p.s. Why is my hair always in a mess?! I'm thinking of growing it out, cutting bangs and curling it but that could spell disaster depending how it turns out p.p.s Happy 20th Elizobird!!! You are amazing and beyond words. I love you to the moon and back and reply my whatsapp!!!
self-help
fun stuff to do:
photo-shoots with Gracia
cafe-hopping - symmetry, anthesis, audacious cakery
read my backlog of books that I have not touched
help Xue plan for her 21st and my own
Rascal & Rebel business meetings
DIY Projects: Scented candles / Party animal candles
save up for Oliver Peoples O Malley Optical Glasses
not so fun stuff to do:
clear my wardrobe and flea off hardly worn clothes
organize my room
do up a proper CV and resume
try to get some ad-hoc jobs
plan my mods for next sem and do MPE
There will always be a reason why you meet people. Either you need them to change your life or you’re the one that will change theirs.
Angel Flonis Harefa (via perfect)
reaction
I fought with showing my vulnerability and telling everything I fought with entertaining that idea of going back to him I fought with fundamental discontent and banality of a bland reality I fought with the tears that threatened to spillover I fought with my lungs to try and breathe again I fought with my brain to tell it to shut down I fought with the notion that my heart is getting torn into two by two I fought with myself
I'm tired of fighting. I'm incredibly tired of feeling empty and heavy-hearted and unsure of what to do next. This moment has caused a reaction. Tell me how to be strong.
attract by ferned featuring a zip around wallet
