CAW CAW.

no mourners, no funerals

[caw-caw]

Jesper: you know lanmowers?

Jesper: vegetarian roombas.

Inej: get out of my room

[caw-caw]

Inej, in the car with Jesper: you have to go straight

Jesper: i can't go straight

Jesper: i'm lightning McQueer

Jesper: VROOAAAAAAAAAAMAMMMMMMMMMMMMM

[caw-caw]

[at a wedding]

Wylan: i'll be right back i've just got to go and check on the ring bear

Inej: it's pronounced ring 'bearer'

Wylan: ... uhh

Inej: look at me right now and tell me you didn't bring a wild fucking animal to this wedding

[caw-caw]

Jesper: what are you doing?

Wylan, lining up seven candles in a perfect circle around a goat: your text said we should satanize our house

Jesper: IT SAID SANITIZE!

[caw-caw]

Kaz: all right, we have good news and we have bad news

Wylan: my father always said 'bad news first because the good news is probably a lie, fun fact, he made me cry a lot

[caw-caw]

Inej: did you kill this man?

Jesper: no, a bullet killed him, which comes from the ground, the ground is nature, he died of natural cause case closed

[caw-caw]

Jesper: you've got such beautiful hands

Wylan: why thank you, jesper

Jesper: i bet they would look even better wrapped around

Inej, banging pots and pans: The Bible, The Holy Bible. Of Our Lord And God JESUS CHRIST. Amen.

[caw-caw]

Jesper: *turning around in his chair* Do you want to tell me where you've been all night?

Wylan: i was... with inej!

Inej: *also turning around in her chair* think again

[caw-caw]

Wylan: you know not every problem can be solved with a knife

Inej, nodding: that's why i carry two knives

[caw-caw]

Kaz: i'm the scariest thing on halloween

Jesper: and the shortest

[caw-caw]

Nina: its on the inside that counts not the outside

Inej: give me one example

Nina: the fridge

[caw-caw]

Inej, struggling to stand in one inch heels: haha, i guess heels just aren't for me

Jesper, strutting in with six inch diamond heels: maybe you're just not trying hard enough

[caw-caw]

Jesper: you can't join in with this you're not grisha

Wylan: how am i not grisha jesper, because i don't have powers? being grisha is a state of mind

Jesper: it most certainly is not

[caw-caw]

Jesper: his foot in a trap hanging upside down* i hate to say it but this is doing wonders for my back

Inej:

Inej: do i even want to help you?

[caw-caw]

Jesper: *tries to make wylan his password*

Computer: password is too short

Jesper, smiling softly: yeah, i know

[caw-caw]

Kaz: if you're not in my circle of trust you're probably in my triangle of suspicion or my rhombus of doubt

[caw-caw]

Inej: what's your favourite fruit?

Jesper: bananas, because they don't have bones

Inej: why do i even try to talk to you?