Head Theories of the Cranium Commando

A humble website dedicated to the obscure, yet curious thoughts centering on a more obscure WDW attraction, Cranium Command. Cranium Command, former attraction once resident in Epcot's Wonders of Life pavilion, in Walt Disney World, Orlando FL. 1989-2007 headcanon /hɛ́d kǽnən/ n An idea, belief, or aspect of a story that is not mentioned in the media itself, but is accepted by either the reader themselves or the fandom in general. If it is confirmed by the author of the story, it becomes canon.

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Headcanon #42: Right Brain Zoo

There is a sanctuary/zoo institution in CCHQ campus wholly owned by the right brain. Right Brain cadets spend their time looking after and playing with the most imaginative and creative forms of creatures to have ever existed. One notable incident came from Captain Buzzy being drafted for volunteer work at the right brain zoo, and accidentally releasing one creature. While General Knowledge fears the creature might cause havoc, the results are actually humorous as the creature chose Buzzy above all other cadets, much to his shock and dismay.

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Headcanon #41: New Management

One of Buzzy’s recent missions was to pilot a preteen boy in San Francisco. As luck would have it, that is where Riley Anderson lives, although her guides are five emotions. This led to a budding romance between Sadness and Buzzy, as they try to make their hosts fall in love with each other.

Thanks, askkira-td!

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Headcanon #40: Immune Memorial

For Cranium Commandos in the Immune System division, every December the 1st is a holiday - while the Cranium Commandos and their Body Crew retain their shifts as usual, they participate in numerous events celebrating the efforts of the immune system in the fight against disease. However, as it is World AIDS Day in the human world, some of the Cranium Commandos and their Body Crew take some time off work to mourn the hosts who lost the battle with the disease, and to honour those who looked after them each stage of the disease. Notably, Buzzy has spent pocket money on rose bouquets and makes the honorable trip to the memorial wall to deliver them, as a mark of respect.

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Headcanon #39: Smoke Warfare

Ask any recruit dispatched in the Lungs division how it feels to look after the lungs of a smoker, and they will tell you that it is the equivalent of severe chemical warfare incidents targeting innocents; some of the recruits have lost friends, family members and notables as a result of having to endure the smoke.

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Headcanon #38: Holiday Lighting HQ

During the holiday season, most of the Cranium Command HQ premises are decked with fairy and icicle lights to hopefully give the troops "a sight for sore eyes" in between shifts and during the monotonous day to day lifestyle between classes. Some displays are meant to be flamboyant and patriotic towards a body crew division (from the brain hemispheres through to members of the body crew), others are just ambient and present to pretty things up for the season. Highly likely, the Right Brain members are called up to help design and assemble the whimsical displays every season.

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Headcanon #37: Buzzy's Stats

With regards to family, Buzzy is an only child of the Cortex family, and the youngest recruit in the squadron due to his father’s career. However, being the youngest in the class leads to Buzzy being teased often by the others.

From earthtooid

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Headcanon #36: Captain Cortex

Captain Cortex, Buzzy’s father, tends to be arrogant and cocky in relation to his job – his catch cry is cited as “They don’t call me top brain for nothing!” and he is cited in the cadet yearbook as “Most likely to succeed”. Now, he tries to be humble, so as to remain a positive influence and an excellent father figure to his son.

The only downside, however, given that Cortex is good at his job, this means Buzzy is put under a whole lot of pressure, both at school and on the job.

From earthtooid

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Headcanon #35: Prior Instructors

The instructor hired prior to General Knowledge wasn’t very good at his job (and likely the equivalent of being labelled a “featherweight”), hence why General knowledge was sent over from HQ to straighten some of the recruits out.

From earthtooid

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Headcanon #34: Schedule

Given that the Cranium Commandos have a wide range of subjects, and given that many times happen from place to place (especially with time zones in the subject world), many shifts for most Commandos start off at different times. Sometimes is means a very altered sleep schedule depending on the location.

From earthtooid

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Headcanon #33: Unlucky Buzzy

As with the case of the “small fry” student in school, Buzzy all too often has been the subject of humiliating activities – for instance, he has been stuffed in a locker, more than once, and one instance saw him needing to be rescued by a recruit after forty-five minutes, by a recruit having no idea of the locker security code.

From earthtooid

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Headcanon #32: Asking a Girl Out

Considering Buzzy’s temperament, he often gets flustered when talking to girls – especially when asked out on a possible date. Oftentimes, he’ll blush red and he won’t be able to move. Too often, the cadets have seen this happen and have tried to give him coupling advice, but Buzzy hasn’t gotten over his utmost embarrassment yet.

From earthtooid

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Headcanon #31: Trick or Freak

Halloween is a holiday cherished by the Right Brain as it is centred around the most outlandish of all fantasies considered scary in the subject world. Sometimes it is a brainstorming session to cook up the most scariest, freakiest element possible in the world of nightmares, but otherwise just an excuse for some of the Right Brain recruits to use that to mess with the other recruits. However for some Right Brain recruits, it may backfire as it may get them in trouble by the General.

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Headcanon #30: Injuries and Emergency Scale

In the universe of the Commandos, an injury can be classified according to the following -- whether some or all of the crew are in danger of loss, whether the designated part of the subject is able to be salvaged and repaired during the healing process, and the resulting effects on the mind region as reported by the Commando in charge.

An injury as small as a subject stubbing its toe (the body crew, especially in the foot tendons area, is in little danger; the toe may be easily healed; and the mind may most likely shrug off this memory within a few weeks) is often filed as a minor incident.

In contrast, a major injury would be classified as a state of emergency (either a traumatic wounding or a major accident with scale to harm the subject -- most of the body crew is in danger of loss or further harm; healing efforts and resources may be easily exhausted; there is a very high chance that such a loss may be classified as a tragic event if: a) the subject cannot remain alive within a short timeframe after the attack, b) if any valuable or a large group of the body crew have been lost.) 

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Headcanon #29: Visual Sensory Reporting

The body crew division in charge of sensory information, especially working in the Optics division (the eyes), are often in charge of delivering and reviewing visual information (even though the Commando is reviewing such information while on duty in the subject). As the eye often views objects and scenes upside down, workers in the optics division tend to work in anti-gravity, where such workers would both review the visual input from the eye upside down, and invert the right side up without having to climb their working environment interior.

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Headcanon #28: Animals or Mascots

Assuming there are animals in the Commando universe (evidence is how Gen. Knowledge has handled a chicken), such animals are often intended as either helpers, or mascots of a given squadron. Highly likely, Buzzy's squadron may have an animal characterised with a small brain (definitely a chicken or a rat), simply to define a low rank, while more elite groups may have a more intelligent animal (a dolphin), on their ensign.

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Headcanon #27: Mess Hall Intoxication

While rare in some cases, mess hall intoxication can either be a deliberate malevolent act (in order to demotivate or assassinate a certain cadet) or perhaps done out of sheer mischief. The most notable case (although not disclosed to the public) was the time when the mess hall was out of mushrooms, and management picked the wrong (and likely the most dubious) supplier for their mushrooms. The mushrooms the majority of cadets ended up with were the hallucinogenic ones, and within two hours, were either rioting against their fellow men, or remained paralysed and drooling on the floor. Most woke up with rather painful hangovers and needed treatment. Unfortunately, this led to General Knowledge having to place individuals now addicted to the mushrooms under quarantined status – the cadet will have to undergo screening and treatment to sever dependence on the substance until fit to work.

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Headcanon #26: Exhaustion

To keep up with the ever demanding aspects of the job, each Cranium Commando has been trained and coached to handle anything beyond their comfort zones. They have been trained to expect anything and everything from their subjects - extended waking hours and warped sleep cycles in some, for instance - but this results in exhaustion at certain times of the day. Believe it or not, at the end of the mission, it is not uncommon for some Cranium Commandos to end up collapsing into deep sleep upon their return to HQ, Buzzy included.